Big Time Demise
by gleechild
Summary: James makes the biggest mistake of his life. Logan tries to be there for a friend but gets burned. Kendall's world is torn apart. Carlos does everything he can to fix the mess his friends made. And then there's Katie...
1. Prologue: Katie

I own nothing.

* * *

**Prologue…**

'_It's a dream; it's all just a dream!'_

Katie pinched herself.

And gasped.

Nope, she was very much awake.

Of course, this was probably the millionth time she had chanted those words to her self and pinched her arm in the past twenty-four hours. She really should stop trying to wake up from the nightmare her life had become. But she supposed as long as there was a slight chance, she would keep on pinching.

"Katie!"

She groaned and looked up from the airport runway to find the person shouting her name.

She gave a small smile—more of a quirk to the lips really—before walking over to him.

"Katie," he said awkwardly, "it's good to see you, hon."

She nodded, trying to convey it was good to see him too.

But it wasn't.

Not really.

And her reasons for being there weren't any 'gooder'.

Now she couldn't even _think_ proper English.

_PINCH!_

Nope, still awake.

"Well…." He shifted uncomfortably. He was not used to spending time alone with her, and neither was she with him. "We just need your bags and we'll be on our—,"

She cut him off, "All I have is this," she explained, pointing a finger to the large backpack hanging from her shoulder.

"Oh, well, okay," he almost stammered. "I guess then… let's go." He turned and started walking toward the exit.

She really should take pity on him. He really did not know what he was about to get himself into. But she needed him. More than she had ever needed him before.

She only hoped that he would not let her down.

"Katie?" he said, turning back around confused when he realized she was not following him.

Shaking herself out of her musings, she scampered forward.

"Coming, Dad."

* * *

"Its not much now, but you can do whatever you want with it," he shrugged. "I'm sure you know more about these things than I do." He made a sweeping gesture around the room they were standing in the middle of.

She really didn't care what her room looked like. It was strange enough being in this house. Her father had lived here for the past ten years, ever since Mom and Dad divorced. But _she_ had never lived here…or visited, for that matter. When Dad wanted to see her and Kendall, he had to come to them.

But the visits were always few and far between, made even worse by Kendall's big break four years ago.

She noticed Dad was standing awkwardly, not sure what to do now and she could not help smiling a little.

"Dad, its fine," she said reassuringly, "No need to go all Charlie Swan. I'm just going to settle in. Act normally, okay?"

He furrowed his brow for a moment, not knowing the Twilight reference, which she should have expected. But he gave up on trying to figure it out and let out a breath.

"Good idea. Settle in and I'll make us something for dinner," he said quickly. "Don't have much in the house, but I could throw together some soup and sandwiches or something. Or we could go out to eat somewhere. Or we could order. There's Chinese, Thai, Indian, Pizza—"

That was the most he'd said to her since she got off the plane and she was pretty sure he wasn't going to stop until she cut him off.

She was tempted to tell him she was not hungry, but she knew she should eat.

"Soup and sandwiches sound great, dad," she said quickly, interrupting.

"Alrighty then," he said, before leaving the room, clearly happy to escape the room for the moment.

He definitely had no idea what to do with his sixteen year old daughter in the house.

"Daddy, you're gonna need to relax or this is never going to work…" she mumbled to herself.

And she _really_ needed this to work.

* * *

The next few days passed with relative ease… seeing as how Dad had to work at the construction site for most of that time and he only arrived home for a late dinner before heading to bed.

She guessed as Foreman he had to put in more hours than anyone else.

In the interim, she had settled into her room and gotten to know her way around the house. She had taken a few walks around the neighborhood, curious about her surroundings, but mostly just keeping to herself.

She knew she was eventually going to have to talk to her dad about what was really going on, but she appreciated the distance for the moment.

It was going to be a long year.

* * *

"Not much. She mostly keeps to herself," he mumbled into the phone.

"Has she been going out? Making any friends?" his ex-wife asked.

"I guess?"

"What do you mean, 'You _guess_'?" she exclaimed. "Don't you know?"

"I have to work, Judy," he said with not a little exasperation. "I can't be here every minute of every day keeping an eye on her."

"Well, that's just great, Bill," she snapped. "Have you even talked to her at all or has she just been like some renter who you don't speak to unless you have to?"

"Judy," he murmured, trying to keep his voice down in case Katie was not in her room like he thought. "Things are going slow. But I haven't spent longer than a few hours with her in _ten_ years! And even those times Kendall was always with her. It's going to take some time."

"And whose fault is that? You should have spent more time with them! Made an attempt to see them more, but _no_, you had to spend all your time at work! Work, work, work!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing this argument inside and out by now. He needed to take a few calming breaths so he didn't start shouting at her… and so he didn't hang up on her altogether.

"Yes, we've been through this argument a million times before," he said quietly. "Can we not do this? We can't change the past ten years, so instead of focusing on the past, let's focus on the present."

He could hear her sigh. He knew he had broken through to her.

"There's something going on with her," she finally said morosely. "She claims that nothing is wrong, but there's got to be. Why else would she choose to stay with _you_?"

He winced, knowing she was right.

"Maybe what she told you _is_ the truth," he explained rationally. "Maybe she just didn't feel like going on tour with Kendall and his friends this time. I know you like to go with them to keep them out of trouble, but maybe she really didn't want to go! Or maybe she really does want to reconnect with me. Maybe she misses a stable home and just wants to go to school like a normal teenager."

She let out a sigh, "And maybe you're right. But I just feel like something else is happening here."

"Maybe once spring break is over with she'll change her mind again?" he said, trying to make her feel better. "Maybe she just needed a little break from all the excitement."

"Bill, spring break is over," she explained. "If I'm not mistaken, she starts her new school tomorrow."

"Oh," he had forgotten.

"Make sure she has everything she needs, Bill!" she exclaimed. "She didn't bring a lot with her for some reason."

"I think she's been taking care of that…" he wasn't sure, but he remembered seeing some empty office supply store bags in the trash, and a few others that he assumed were female clothing store names.

"Well, find out," she said. "And _please_ try to talk to her more. Get to know _your_ daughter. Even if nothing's wrong, she still said she wanted to reconnect—so _reconnect_!"

"Okay," he agreed. His stomach tightening at the daunting task set before him.

"She needs you now," he could hear the catch in her voice. He knew it hurt her that Katie had left her for him. "More than she ever has before. Please don't let her down, Bill."

"I-I won't," he promised, cursing himself.

At least he hoped he wouldn't.

* * *

"How was your first day?"

She wanted to groan. She had gotten used to the quiet dinners where they just ate and cleaned up and went to their respective rooms.

She sat her fork down.

"Fine," she finally answered.

"Like all your classes? Make any friends?" he asked hopefully.

"They're okay. Some," she mumbled. She was bored out of her mind in class and she hadn't spoken to one person all day.

But he didn't need to know that.

"Have everything you need?"

She answered with a perfunctory, "Yes."

"Because if you need anything I can—"

"Got it. Thanks," she waved off his sentence, not needing him to finish.

He looked a little put off, but eventually just closed his mouth and went back to eating in silence.

She relaxed and picked up her fork again, digging into the meal, trying to eat as quickly as possible.

* * *

And that's how it went all week.

Dad made it home in time to have dinner with her everyday. And every day he would ask the same basic questions, receiving the same short answers. And every day he would give up.

Katie should have known her peace and quiet would not last for long.

"So how was your day?" he asked that Friday evening.

She sat in silence for a full moment before, "Fine."

Her head came up quickly at the sound of a fork hitting a plate sharply.

"That's your answer everyday, 'fine'," he said, looking a little more alive than he had ever been in the entire time she had known him. "I want a little more than fine!"

He didn't yell, but he definitely looked upset with her.

"Well, it _was_ fine," she said, a little wide eyed. "What else do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," he shrugged exaggeratedly. "Maybe tell me something that happened today that was funny, sad, or stupid? Maybe just _talk_ to me!"

"Why, Dad?" she exclaimed. "Why should I talk to you? I don't even know you!"

"Then why are you here?" he exclaimed, rising to the argument. "Why choose to come live with me instead of staying in L.A. with your mother and brother?"

"You know why," she said, clamming back up again. She wanted to tell him the truth so badly. She wanted to tell _someone_ the truth. She just did not know how. "I'm sure mom told you."

"Yes, she did," he said. "She said, among other things, that you wanted to _reconnect_ with me. What I don't understand is if you want to reconnect so badly, why do you just sit there each night saying maybe two words before you go to your room! We are like roommates, not father and daughter."

She was at a loss for words. She _had_ said that. And she _did _want to reconnect. It was the only way she would be able to get through the next few months.

"I don't know what to say," she finally mumbled.

"Neither do I," he said in exasperation.

"May I please be excused?" she asked quietly.

There was nothing but silence for a moment.

"Yes," he finally said.

He watched her leave the room. She knew because she could see his reflection in the china cabinet door.

* * *

He slowly walked down the hall toward her room.

The door was cracked open. He gave it a little knock.

"Yes?" he could hear softly.

He pushed the door open the rest of the way.

For the first time, he was looking at the room since she had moved into it. Everything was basically the same, but there was a few picture frames on the desk, and her laptop was now situated on top of it.

There was a big stuffed bear on the bed next to her. She was sitting, propped up with pillows behind her. A textbook was spread out on the comforter in front of her and she had obviously been studying before he interrupted.

He rested against the door frame.

"Katie… I … " he wasn't sure where to begin.

"Katie, I know these past ten years haven't been easy for you not having me around that much," he started. This was hard.

"I was very shocked when your mother called with your request," he went on. "But I never once even _tried_ to think of a way to get out of it."

She was still looking down at the comforter.

"To tell the truth, I was a little excited," he said truthfully.

She finally looked up at that.

"Yeah, me, excited," he said, almost laughing at himself. "Hon, I know I've made a lot of mistakes, but I don't want to make another one. You are my daughter. I love you even though I don't say it that much… or hardly ever. I am very grateful that you have given me this chance to be a part of your life again. And I will try my best not to make a mess of things like I always do. I want you to know that I do and _will_ always want you in my life… however I can get you."

Sometime in the middle of his speech, his eyes had traveled to the desk and the pictures there. He could see his son, big and strong, with his arms protectively around Katie and Judy. Part of him wished Kendall was in the room too, hearing these words from his heart. But he was pretty sure that ship had sailed. Katie may be sixteen and not have spent much time with him, but Kendall had been with him longer—being nine when Bill had left—and had decided a long time ago that he wanted to have as little as possible to do with his father. Kendall was now nineteen, a pop star, and would probably never need him in his life again.

He walked over after his speech and picked up the second frame. It was a picture of Kendall and his band. They looked so young and happy. Regrettably, he knew about as much about the other three boys as he knew about his own son.

Kendall was better off without him.

And until a few weeks ago, he had thought the same of Katie.

He finally looked at his daughter, wondering why it was so quiet after his little speech.

She was staring at him, a single tear sliding down her face.

"Katie?" he asked, concerned, putting the picture back on the desk before going over to the edge of the bed. He hesitantly sat down next to her. He could feel his hands trembling. _Imagine that_, he was scared of a sixteen year old girl.

"Daddy," she said softly, her eyes speaking volumes, so vulnerable and sad.

His stomach started to hurt when he realized that not only had he gotten through to her, but she was in far more pain than either he or Judy realized.

"You can tell me anything, Katie," he said softly. "It doesn't matter what it is. I know something else brought you here. And it's going to be okay. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."

He reached for her hand, wondering if she would allow him to grasp it.

She did.

As she clutched his hand tightly, she whispered, "No one can ever know."

He nodded.

"Not anyone," she whispered again, closing her eyes tightly. "Not even mom."

He gulped. How was he going to deal with this without Judy's help… though some small part of him was not exactly upset about the thought of finally being the one to take care of her.

"Not even mom," he agreed.

"Promise?" she whispered, her eyes sparkling from the unshed tears.

"I promise you, Katie," he swore. "We'll get through this together and we won't tell anyone else, ever."

She grew quiet before whispering the words that turned his life on its head.

"I'm having a baby."

* * *

Hot.

All he could feel was hot.

Burning, engulfing…

Painful hot.

It took everything inside of him to push it all back. The growing ball of anger inside him was monstrous. He knew he had to push it back. He was about to explode from the rage.

He had heard during one of his wife's rants that Kendall had some anger management issues. Bill knew where those had come from.

And he knew that no matter what, if he could not push back his anger, he was going to say something that he would never be able to take back.

He could not explode at her. He had only just gotten her back. If he made any false moves, everything would be over. There would be no chance to build a relationship with any of his children ever again.

"Daddy?" she whispered quietly, worried because he hadn't said anything after her revelation.

He needed to mask the anger. He needed to focus on any other emotion he could feel. He needed to bring _that_ emotion out instead of his anger. But he couldn't find it… not until he looked into her heartbroken gaze.

There it was.

Sadness.

So sad.

And that's when he let go of the anger.

"Oh, Princess," he whispered the name he had not called her since she ran around in Disney Princess dresses at the age of four.

He pulled her into a tight embrace. The first real hug they had shared in forever.

And Katie cried.

* * *

It was dawn.

Bill knew because he was awake when the sun first started rearing its head.

He had been awake all night.

His daughter had finally fallen asleep after crying until she could not cry anymore.

They hadn't spoken of anything at all.

She was too upset to answer questions and he was too busy hiding his anger to ask them.

When she fell asleep, he didn't leave.

He sat there, all night long, in quiet contemplation.

He needed to figure out what to do next and where to go from here.

He wished he had someone to talk to, but he had already promised her that no one else would know. And after breaking a million promises through the years, he knew this was one he had to keep no matter _what_.

He was glad it was Saturday. He didn't have to go into work and she didn't have to go to school.

He was planning on letting her sleep in as long as she wanted, but when the first streams of sunlight poured through the room and touched her face she stirred awake.

She just lay there, not saying a word, still snuggled up in his arms.

Neither of them really knew what to say.

Then his stomach growled and broke the ice.

She burst out laughing and he couldn't help but join her.

She sat up finally, still giggling.

"How about I make us some breakfast," he suggested.

"Okay," she said, smiling brightly.

He couldn't help but be flummoxed at the change in her. These past two weeks there was nothing but mopey teenager. If he had known all it would take was a talking stomach to make her smile like that, he would have starved himself a lot sooner.

"And, Daddy?" she said from the doorway to her private bathroom, looking at him standing by her bedroom door.

"Yes, honey?" he said.

"Thank you."

* * *

Her 'thank you' running through his head, he whipped up a simple breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast.

Obviously he had done something right, but he wasn't sure if that made him relieved, or even more scared because things were far from over; and there were still millions of ways he could mess this up.

She walked quietly in the room and sat down.

They ate in silence as usual, but it was not the same because she smiled at him a lot. The tension that usually permeated the air was gone. He returned her smile as much as possible, but he was still deeply troubled. He was trying to be reassuring for her, but he was just as scared as she probably was.

As she scraped the plates and he washed them before she dried them, he finally decided it was time to address the situation.

"We need to talk…" he said.

"I know," she said.

He nodded but didn't say anything, just finished up the dishes before heading to the living room.

He was pleased when she followed. He opted for the couch because he would be too relaxed in his easy chair. She went for the other end of the couch and sat, tucking her feet up under her, still in her pajamas.

"So, what do you want to know," she asked.

He was surprised at how easy she started the conversation, diving in head-on. She didn't seem nervous at all. He knew that she had always been a brave little thing, but had never really gotten the opportunity to witness it in her as a teenager. There was something so perfunctory about it. She was so upset and scared last night, but now she was cool and collected and ready to take on the world.

"Well, I..." he cleared his throat and asked the one question that was bugging him the most, mainly because his first instinct was to get on the phone and have his ex-wife on the next plane.

"Why don't you want your mother to know?"

"Because I've decided what I want to do, but I don't want her to judge me or try to make me change my mind. And I don't want her to accidentally slip and tell someone else. She knows every single person in my life. You, not so much."

"Fair enough," he nodded hesitantly. He still didn't understand why she wouldn't trust her mother with this. He and Judy hadn't gotten along much in their later years of marriage, and still didn't get along that well currently, but he knew that she had always been very nurturing, a champion mother. He knew that she would never have made their children afraid to come to her with any problem no matter how terrible. He assumed that, judging by the last half of her explanation, Judy must know whoever the father was and that was the strike that Judy held against her in this crisis.

"So… what have you decided you want to do?" He took a breath, not sure he wanted to hear any answer she had. He would rather she wasn't pregnant at all, but he couldn't change that, now could he?

"Adoption," she said matter-of-factly.

"Adoption?" he asked, gulping because that meant this situation wasn't going to be dealt with quickly. It would be months before the child was born. He would have to keep the secret and keep up with her...and he would have to watch her get bigger and bigger with it... his child, having a child. _Gulp._ "You're sure?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I can't kill the baby, but I can't keep it. I'm only sixteen years old. But I don't want anyone to know about it. _Ever!_ You're the only one who can know. You _did_ promise!" She looked at him sharply.

"Yes, I promised, and I won't tell anyone," he reassured her. He could feel his palms getting sweaty. It had been a long time since he made any promises. He had always taught his children about the importance of keeping your promises...then went and became a hypocrit when he broke the biggest promise of all and divorced their mother. It had been a mutual parting, done as amiable as possible under the circumstances. But it didn't change the fact that he _had_ broken it. Since then he had thrown that word out of his vocabulary. He didn't make promises because he didn't like how he felt when he couldn't keep them.

This was different though. He would promise Katie anything; and he swore to himself that he _would_ keep it.

Why did he feel like he was living in the middle of the nineteen sixties? In a time when parents would ship their pregnant teenage daughters off to halfway houses or some 'far away aunt' to live with for a while? Then the girl would return home, sans baby, sans scandal, and go back to her normal life and routine as if nothing had ever happened? As if there wasn't a new life in the world because of her little trip?

He felt like _he_ was the halfway house.

"Okay, next question," she said quickly.

He shook himself from his thoughts and asked the second biggest question weighing on his mind.

"Who is the father?" he asked, because he really wanted to put his hands on the boy who had done this to his daughter.

"I can't tell you," she answered quickly. Too quickly.

"Why not?" he asked. He knew there was some disapproval and anger in his voice that he couldn't mask. He was still angry with the entire situation, he would probably be angry about it forever. At least she didn't seem phased or worried by his reaction though. His ability to control his anger the previous night had really gone a long way to settling her fears as far as he was concerned.

"Because I don't want to," she answered logically. "He's not involved. He doesn't know. He will _never_ know." She seemed adamant about that.

"Are you sure—"

"_Yes_! I'm sure," she insisted. "We'll just leave that part on the birth certificate blank."

"Okay…"

She really _had_ thought of everything, hadn't she? Of course she had more time with this than him.

"So when is... _it_… due?" he asked, feeling himself grow a little embarrassed. He didn't want to talk about these things with his daughter. Finding out when the baby would arrive would tell him approximately _when_ his daughter had sex.

_Damn it!_ He could feel his right hand form a fist into the couch. He didn't want to think about his daughter having sex. She was sixteen years old! She should be worrying about makeup and clothes and the latest boy band. She should be doing more commercials! She should be running a lemonade stand or a car wash or something, because her mother said she was good at running businesses and making money. She should be starting to think about what college she wanted to go to! She should be thinking about her junior prom!

Instead she was sitting on his couch. No businesses. No friends. No prom. She was pregnant and alone, no boyfriend in sight. He wanted to hurt the boy who was responsible even _more_ now.

"Late September, early Octoberish," she said.

He flinched. So she had sex in late January _and_ in early February? Of course, if she was sexually active, who knew how often she had...

_Damn it! _He was going to be sick.

"Don't most doctors usually give you a more exact date?" he asked, shaking the horrible thoughts away again and trying to remember everything he'd gone through with Judy when she was pregnant with the kids.

"Yeah, but that was just my estimate," she answered. "I haven't been to a doctor yet."

"So you're almost…" he did quick math, "three months, _maybe_?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

"Well, I guess the first thing to do is see a doctor," he said, thinking out loud.

"And then we find a nice couple willing to adopt m-the baby," she said, correcting herself.

He noticed she almost said "my" instead of "the". He wasn't sure why she had corrected herself. He didn't see what difference it made.

"So…" she said, letting out a sigh like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders after answering all of his questions.

Odd, but he felt like the weight of the world was currently on _his_ shoulders now. And it was very heavy.

"So..."

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part I: Chapter 1 - Kendall gets some news._


	2. Pt I: Ch 1 Kendall gets some news

I own nothing.

* * *

**PART ONE: Chapter 1**

* * *

**Kendall…**

_(four months later)_

"_If you want it all, lay it on the line! It's the only life you've got, so you gotta live it big time!"_

All four of the guys struck their final pose.

The crowd went wild.

The guys all turned and waved to the crowd.

"Thank you!" The guys yelled to their fans, jumping up and down.

Kendall laughed as he saw Logan do one last flip that made all the girls scream.

He made his way off stage and down the stairs. His destination was his dressing room.

He was hot and sweaty and needed a shower in the worst way.

Tonight had been one of their best shows of this tour. He had felt like things were a little lackluster lately with the guys, like maybe they weren't as into the performing anymore.

He wouldn't be surprised if that were the case though. Even he was growing a little restless. But he was still having the time of his life with his best pals, and that was all that mattered to him in this business.

But he knew things weren't going to stay the same for much longer. Things were already starting to change for the other guys and he knew it was only a matter of time before he and the guys decided to go out 'on top'.

They had been touring since March. They weren't set to finish until late September and it was now August.

He knew Logan had been upset when Gustavo extended the tour to September. Logan had been taking college classes online for the past two years, and in his third year of college—set to start this fall—he wanted to actually _sit_ in the classes at UCLA and finish out his final two years of college before transferring to medical school.

The way Logan saw it was he had compromised already to go to school in L.A. instead of somewhere across the country.

Gustavo didn't see it that way. But Logan had only renewed his contract through to the end of this year, so the way _Kendall_ saw it, Logan was eventually going to get what he wanted anyway, but if Gustavo wasn't careful, he wouldn't have Logan at _all_ next year.

Then there was James.

Over the past four years, Camille dragged James to various auditions and he actually managed to land some bit parts in movies and some guest star spots on various television shows.

Not that there was anything going on between Camille and James. There was a brief period of time before graduation when they were an item, but they decided they would be better off as friends. Logan had finally gotten over Camille well before that little brief period of time, so nobody's feelings were hurt. Kendall was glad his friends had survived dating the same girl. It was just a testament to the fact that nothing could ruin their friendship.

James had recently auditioned for the lead role in a major action picture and landed it. James won the role back in January. Every spare minute of his day while on tour was spent training for the upcoming role which would start filming in October—or basically when the tour was over.

If this movie did as well as everyone said and hoped it would, every director in Hollywood would be fighting over James, and the band might not win him this time.

Carlos was just happy no matter what was going on.

And Kendall, well, he really didn't know what to do with himself once Big Time Rush ducked out of the public eye.

Four years ago all he wanted to do was play professional hockey. But that dream was pretty much gone for now. It was too late to get noticed by scouts in high school. He had taken a couple of general education classes online with Logan, but he had no clear cut plan for his future right now. He couldn't even play hockey in college because of his schedule. But then, he hadn't had much time to practice the game in the past four years anyway.

He shrugged to himself. He knew he would eventually figure it out.

But not today!

Today he was going to shower, change, and head to the tour bus to crash.

Or so he thought…

* * *

Before he could start down the hall to the dressing rooms, Kelly raced up with _his_ cell phone in one hand and a bunch of papers in the other.

"Kelly, why do you have my phone?" he said, holding his hand out.

"Boys, here," she thrust the phone at Kendall and the papers at James who was standing closest to her, before grabbing their shoulders to turn them around. She grabbed the other two, turning them as well. "The limo is waiting out that door. Go now—"

Logan interrupted, "Did Gustavo schedule another last minute show or something? We're tired and just want—"

"Flight confirmation numbers for Minnesota?" James said at the same time, reading the papers in his hands.

"Kendall," Kelly shouted over Logan and James, "call your mother _now_!"

Kendall froze.

The boys paused. Kelly started pushing them all. "Go! Go!"

They picked up their pace, finally realizing something was very wrong.

Kendall quickly pressed the pound button followed by the number one on his cell. Yes, his mother was always number one on his list. He knew the guys still made fun of him for that, but he couldn't help it. She was his _mother_.

He raced along with the guys, hopping into the vehicle and slamming the door shut just as she answered.

"Mom! What's wrong? Are you okay?" he practically shouted into the phone.

The other boys looked worried, anxiously waiting.

"It's Katie."

* * *

**James…**

James watched, his hands clenching, as his best friend turned pale. He wanted to shout at him, ask what was wrong. The anticipation was killing him.

All the boys loved Mama Knight and would walk through fire for her. If something was wrong with her…

"What happened?" Kendall asked, still in his pale state.

James couldn't hear what she was saying, but it clearly made Kendall even more agitated.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Kendall asked frantically, listening. "Well tell him to just tell you! If it's so important that he's got us rushing all the way from"—he looked around—"wherever we're at—"

"Texas," Carlos whispered.

"_Texas!_" Kendall nearly shouted, "Then he can tell us why my sister is in the hospital!"

All the boys gasped, not expecting that at all.

James felt his insides twist. _Katie…_

"Oh, he won't?" Kendall snapped. "Then I'll call him myself!"

James was having problems remembering to breathe. He felt sucker punched. His heart started to race and he knew he was probably now as pale as Kendall.

Kendall hung up and found the number in his phone that he never used. He called, waiting impatiently for someone to pick up.

The limo pulled to a sudden stop. The other boys looked around to see if it was just a stop light. Seeing the bright lights of the airport, the guys scampered out, crawling over each other.

James had to grab Kendall's arm and drag him out because he was so distracted by his phone.

"Dad! What's wrong? What's going on? Mom said—" Kendall started off but was clearly interrupted.

Kendall breathed out in a huff, "Well, at least tell me that she's going to be okay!"

He listened and, even though James didn't think it was possible, Kendall grew paler.

James felt like he was going to be sick.

Kendall finally stopped talking and just closed his phone quietly, putting it back in his pocket. He didn't say anything as James practically carried him through the airport and onto the plane.

James noticed that Freight Train had to fend off quite a few fans, but fortunately the boys all made it to the plane without any disturbances.

When they took off, James couldn't help but notice that Logan didn't even seem to appear airsick like usual. James absentmindedly thought that the news was making all of them forget about everything else.

_Katie…_

* * *

They all raced through the hospital corridors. They had no idea where they were going, just mindlessly followed Kendall. Kendall had stopped at the front desk long enough to get a room number and a crude map.

None of them were paying attention to their surroundings so they didn't even realize that the last door they had to gain entrance through led into the maternity ward.

"Only one," the security guard said. "Only three visitors allowed at a time and there's already two back there."

Kendall just nodded and said, "Me, I'm her brother."

The rest of the guys tried to remain calm, but were angry at not being able to go. They had to back up before the security guard would buzz Kendall through.

They all sat down and stared into space, still not paying any attention to their surroundings, all three too scared to do anything but wait.

* * *

**Kendall…**

His heart was racing as he ran down the hall, following room number signs, trying to just find his baby sister and make sure everything was okay.

_She had to be okay! She had to be okay!_

He heard shouting even before he turned the next corner. He recognized the sound and raced toward his mother's voice.

"_How could you!_" Judy Knight screamed at her ex-husband, unable to believe what she had been told.

"I promised her…" Bill tried to reason with her.

"_Do you have _any_ idea what you have done!_" she screamed at him.

"Mom! Mom! What's going on! What did Dad do?" he yelled, running up to her with a glare to the man who was his father.

But Judy couldn't calm down. "_How could you let her keep it a secret from me?_"

"I promised her…" was all Bill seemed to be able to say.

Kendall saw that his father looked on the verge of collapse. After hearing his father on the phone earlier saying that Katie probably wouldn't make it, he knew he probably looked the same way as his father.

He finally lost it.

"SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" He shouted, using profanity that usually never fell from his lips, but he was stressed to the max, looking back and forth between the both of them.

Then he froze when he realized his family was standing and shouting in front of a large window… with newborn babies sleeping behind it.

_Oh my God._

* * *

**James…**

The wait was so agonizing. Only thirty minutes or so had passed, but it felt like hours.

No one had moved in all that time.

Even Carlos wasn't getting antsy. None of the boys seemed to be able to focus on anything surrounding them, just frozen in their present states.

The security guard buzzed someone out and all the guys looked up, hoping to see Kendall or one of the Knights, but it was just a male nurse pushing a female patient in a wheelchair holding a baby. There was another man standing next to her smiling so wide James thought his face was about to crack.

All three boys just watched the procession as the woman was pushed along and into the elevator.

The doors closed and the boys went back to looking at their feet.

And in one collective gasp, the boys looked up to the sign on the wall straight across from them.

**Maternity**

And there was a little arrow next to it, pointing its way to the door Kendall had disappeared through.

_Oh no_, James felt that sickness in his stomach again, _please no. Please don't let that mean what I think it means…Why would she… she wouldn't… would she?_

The boys all looked to the door again as the security guard buzzed someone through.

James felt like the bottom had dropped out of his world when Kendall walked out looking like he was barely holding on.

He wanted to ask, but he knew he wouldn't be able to get anything out with the tears starting to clog his throat.

He thought maybe Logan would, but he seemed about as choked up as James did.

Carlos finally managed to get out of his seat and help Kendall to a chair. Kendall just followed, long past his ability to make a decision.

"Kendall?" Carlos whispered, looking to the other guys sitting across from them. "Is she okay?"

Kendall didn't respond. He seemed to be in an almost permanent state of shock.

"Kendall…" Carlos began again, looking to the other guys who still weren't offering any help. "We… we noticed… we… we're in a maternity ward…"

James could feel his breath catch in his throat. Vaguely he could hear Logan making the same sound next to him.

Kendall still didn't respond.

Carlos decided to just sit back and wait for him to say something since he didn't seem able to respond.

It was long minutes later when Kendall finally spoke…

"She had a pulmonary embolism…" he spoke hesitantly around the word, not used to the medical terminology.

Logan gasped. Carlos and James were confused.

"A blood clot lodged in her lung after she…she… she…" Kendall closed his eyes, unable to say it. "She…"

Kendall shook his head. "M-mom said if she had known that Katie was…" he still couldn't say the word, "she would have made sure Katie had some sort of full scan because throm—throm—thromo" he stuttered, unable to remember the word.

"Thromboembolism," Logan managed to mumble.

Kendall nodded. "It's hereditary. They don't usually do a scan of the entire body unless there's a history and since Katie didn't know..." he winced and continued "Mom had to get scanned and checked for any problems with both me and… Katie..." he almost crumbled, but managed to hold it in.

"They are doing everything they can to revive her, but she's still not awake… and she's not breathing on her own," Kendall finally finished.

James tried to focus on his breathing, but it was _so _hard. The guilt was killing him, but the grief and fear of what could happen to her was making him want to cry out her name. He wanted to see her so badly.

Carlos looked at Kendall, deciding that maybe he could ask questions now.

"And the baby?" Carlos asked.

Kendall's head flew up, glaring at Carlos for daring to ask.

"I don't know and I don't care," Kendall ground out, anger warring with the grief he felt.

James just bit his lip. He heard the words and knew that Kendall was never going to survive this.

"Kendall, it's just a baby…" Carlos said softly.

"_No_, it's not!" Kendall growled. "That _thing_ probably killed my sister! It probably won't even survive! It came two months early! What was the point! And now she's never going to wake up! She's never going to be able to breathe again on her own! I wish that _thing_ didn't exist!"

"You can't mean that…" Carlos said. "Don't take it out on an innocent baby."

"Oh, don't worry," Kendall said, anger growing to a hot rage. "I'm not _just_ going to take it out on _it_! My _dad _kept it a complete secret from all of us! Said _Katie_ didn't want anyone to know. Said _Katie_ wanted to give it up and didn't want anyone to know about it at all. _Katie_ didn't want it either! God knows why she didn't just get rid of it!"

James knew what was coming. He clenched his fists, just waiting for the next words.

"But most of all, I blame that worthless piece of crap who got my baby sister _pregnant!_" he was finally able to say the word though it was so loud the security guard told him if he didn't cool it, he was going to get kicked out.

James flinched.

Kendall settled back in his seat, a sour expression on his face. "If I ever find out who…"

His breath came out in an angry huff. He looked at the faces of his best friends around him.

"Late January, early February. I was visiting Jo. She was filming in South Carolina," Kendall said slowly. "You guys were all around the apartment at one time or other. Did any of you notice her talking to anyone? Dating anyone?"

The guys were silent.

Carlos thought to himself before looking at the other two who still seemed to be so shocked they weren't even able to respond to the question.

Carlos shook his head, turning back to Kendall.

"No man, I didn't see her with anyone."

"Then who is the father?" Kendall said helplessly, feeling defeated. There was no way they were probably ever going to know now.

James could feel his eyes closing shut and clenching, the same way his fists were. He knew he couldn't keep it a secret from Kendall. They had been friends for so long. He had to admit what he had done, no matter how much it would destroy him and his friendship with Kendall.

He drew in a deep breath and braced himself, before spitting out the words.

"I am"

Kendall looked up in horror at him…

…and then at Logan.

It took James a full second to realize what just happened.

Then he looked at Logan in horror too…

Because Logan had just said the very same thing…

* * *

Before anyone could react, a scream of anguish was heard all the way down the hall and through the security booth's windows.

Everyone recognized Mrs. Knight's voice.

And then they knew the truth.

Nothing was ever going to be the same.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part I: Chapter 2 - Logan has the strangest day._


	3. Pt I: Ch 2 Logan's strange day

I own nothing.

* * *

PART ONE: Chapter 2

* * *

_(seven months ago)_

**Logan…**

He was having the strangest day.

It was the end of January and he'd just finished his last final of his winter semester. He knew he was probably the only person in the class who enjoyed it… but he was a genius! He was supposed to like a challenge!

This little winter semester was his first time actually _attending_ his classes, and he loved that too. It not only gave him a chance to voice all his questions to his professors—instead of just emailing them—but he was also able to interact with other students who shared the same interests as him.

Not that he didn't love his band mates! But it was a welcome change to talk to someone who understood everything that came out of his mouth—or _almost _everything.

He met up with some of the guys once the exam was over and they told him about a party on campus. Students were starting to arrive back at the dorms to prepare for the spring semester about to start in a week.

After saying he "_might_ just have to check it out later," he went back to the Palm Woods. It may have been a major dork thing, but he was nervous and excited about his first party on campus. He still couldn't believe he'd been in college almost two years and never had the time for a campus party!

He sort of wished his buds were home so they could come with him, but Kendall was in South Carolina with Jo. James was auditioning for a new role in Canada. And Carlos was probably out with Rosie—his new girlfriend who never seemed to let Carlos hang with his friends when he wasn't working. Logan knew it was only a matter of time before Carlos dumped her like all the rest. He always seemed to find the possessive ones.

_Well, Logan,_ he thought, _you _have_ been anxious for 'the' college experience. _

Now was his chance!

When he got home though, he was surprised to find Katie lying on the bottom of the swirly slide, staring into space with a sad look on her face.

"What's up Katie-girl?" Logan said smoothly, easing up beside her.

He really shouldn't be calling her "girl" anymore like she was a twelve year old considering she was actually one year older then the age the guys had been when they got their 'lucky' break.

The years had been great for her. She had grown into her face smoothly, cheekbones, eyes, nose, it was all her, just more grown up. Her lips had grown fuller too. She had grown her bangs out so her hair was all one length and she usually styled it in voluptuous fly-away brownish-red curls. The face wasn't the only thing that had changed though.

Somewhere between the ages of fourteen and fifteen she had a growth spurt and was almost as tall as Kendall, with legs for days.

He figured she got her face from her father because Kendall had the same dimples and smile lines as Mrs. Knight but Katie definitely didn't.

"Hey, Logan," Katie forced a smile.

"You can't sit on the swirly slide if you're not smiling," Logan teased. "You suck up all the fun."

"Yep, that's me," she said. "Fun sucker extraordinaire!" She threw her hands up in the air.

"I wouldn't go that far," Logan said. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just…" Katie rolled her eyes. "Not in the mood to talk about it."

"Well, okay then," Logan said, backing off. Maybe it was just _that_ time of the month. He wasn't going to hang around for _that_. He had a party to go to anyway.

Katie sighed, "No. Wait. Stop. I'm sorry." She sat up and crossed her long legs Indian style.

"We don't have to talk about _anything_ you don't want to," Logan said quickly. _Please don't let her say she's PMS-ing_.

Katie nodded, "Thanks."

Then she promptly started crying.

_Anything but that,_ he groaned inwardly.

"Katie," Logan went to kneel in front of her. "Stop crying, what's wrong?" He hesitated for a second and then reached up and around to pat her back.

Katie just shook her head.

"Is it because your mom's in Minnesota and you had to stay here for school?" Logan guessed. Mrs. Knight had to visit a sick relative but Katie couldn't take off from school to fly with her.

Katie shook her head again.

"Is it because Kendall's in South Carolina with Jo and you miss him because he's the best brother ever?" Logan guessed again hopefully.

"What am I, twelve?" Katie managed to say through her sobs.

"Is it because you have, like, cramps or something?" Logan forced himself to ask, trying to keep a straight face. "Because I could go get—"

"Noooooooo," Katie sobbed it out. "Why would you even—"

"Good, good," he said, with not a _little_ relief. _Think, Logan, think! What would drive a teenage girl to cry? _"So… um, someone steal your diary?"

Katie shook her head.

"Someone take embarrassing photos of you?"

Katie shook her head again.

"Fail a test?"

Katie looked at him with an "are you serious?" look.

Logan gave up and made a split second decision. "Well, how about we just take your mind off whatever is bothering you. You don't have to tell me because you don't seem to want to. But see, I'm going to my first party on campus tonight and could use a little backup."

She settled down to a sniffle, looking at him with a question in her eyes. "Your _first_?" Then she actually giggled. She obviously couldn't help herself.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, remember? Me?" He pointed to himself. "I'm Logan. Not exactly a party animal."

"Yeah, but…" she laughed. "You're going to bring a high school junior with you to your first college party? What will all the guys think?"

"Probably?" Logan guessed, "Jailbait." Though in all honesty he was _only _three years older than her, so it was just more like...not that bad.

"Ew, Logan," Katie laughed.

He was glad he could get a laugh out of her.

"Just go get ready, will ya?" he said. "We'll hit up that new pizza place first. Who knows what they'll be serving at the party."

* * *

Apparently college students figured a few bags of chips and pretzels counted as 'food'. Thank goodness they had stopped for pizza. Everyone else was mostly just holding plastic cups with suspicious liquids.

Logan was pretty sure the suspicious liquid in the red plastic cups had some sort of cranberry juice concoction, and the clear plastic cups were obviously filled courtesy the keg in the back corner.

He made a mental note to keep Katie far far _far_ away from all of the various suspicious liquids flowing around this place. If she wanted a drink, he was going to fill an _empty_ plastic cup for her with nice, _safe_, water.

"You sure this is okay with you?" Katie asked.

He was amazed at how well she blended in with the rest of the students. He knew he probably stuck out like a sore thumb in a sweater vest, but at least no one was treating him like he shouldn't be there—as most 'coming of age' college flicks liked to show the smartest guy being treated. Fortunately no one seemed to recognize him, or maybe they did-but students at UCLA were used to seeing famous people. Logan didn't usually have any problems on campus.

"This is _not_ the first time you've played backup for me, you know," Logan said. "And don't worry; I'll protect you from the big mean college guys. Just pretend you're with me."

He promptly tossed his arm over her shoulder and dragged her into his side when he noticed some guy give Katie '_the nod'_.

Katie blushed at the attention before squeezing herself up into Logan's side. "Yeah, that's definitely a good idea."

Logan joked, "Don't get any ideas though. Kendall would kill me."

He noticed that Katie sort of tensed up when he said that. He wondered why, but before he could ask she was dragging him toward the makeshift dance floor.

"Let's dance, Logie!" Katie said, smiling forcefully.

He wondered why she was obviously fake-smiling again but decided to just let her have some fun. He'd brought her here to forget her troubles anyway.

* * *

"Logan!"

He turned around and received a fast and friendly fist pound to his back from Paul, a guy in one of his classes.

"Sup, man?" Logan said.

"So, who's the little hottie?"

Logan groaned inwardly. _Not again_.

It seemed that every time Katie went away from him for even a minute, some guy Logan knew came up to ask about her. It was their fault, considering everyone could see that Logan and Katie weren't _acting _like a couple. When the guys noticed there were no hand holding, no intimate body language, and no kissing, they started to hope the girl was available and just hanging with a friend.

And he _still_ hadn't figured out the best answer to that question. He knew that saying she was "a friend" didn't work because that just made them want an introduction. But he still found it hard to lie and call her his "girlfriend".

So he ended up stuttering slightly like he was now.

"She's, uh, she's my…"

"I'm his girlfriend," Katie announced, coming up to them and sliding her arm around him, snuggling into his side once again.

"I see," Paul said, a little disbelieving, though he was obviously masking some disappointment.

Katie rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the girl next to her that she had been walking with and talking to.

Logan was relieved at the save and just gave Paul a polite smile, keeping his smile firmly in place until Paul walked away.

"So... he's a cutie," Logan heard a soft giggle. "How long have you been together?"

Logan flushed. Katie's 'friend' was asking questions now… and Katie's 'friend' was pretty cute too.

Katie started, "He's my—"

Logan cut her off before she could finish.

"Friends. We're just friends," he said quickly, nudging Katie's shoulder.

Katie smirked.

"Logan, I'd like you to meet Charlotte," Katie introduced them.

"So, Logan," Charlotte said, smiling broader when she realized he was very much available. "Care to dance?"

He looked to Katie. She just nodded and quirked an eyebrow as if saying, 'did you _really_ just ask for my permission'?

He had a great time dancing with her but went back to join Katie after getting her number. He explained to Charlotte that Katie was his best friend's little sister and he didn't want her to wonder off and get into any trouble on his watch. She understood and said she'd see him next time.

With a wink, she left and he went over to Katie who was waiting with a fresh drink for him. He accepted it gratefully before taking a healthy swig. He nearly spit it out when he realized it wasn't water _or_ fruit juice.

"What's this?" he said with a sour look.

"Oh, Logan," she laughed. "It's your first college party! You need to have at least _one_ drink. If not, what was the point?"

"What about you?" he said pointedly, glancing at her drink.

She just smiled and sipped from her straw.

"Kendall wouldn't—" he started to say while reaching for the cup.

She pulled the cup out of his reach quickly and snapped. "Maybe I don't care what Kendall wants! Maybe I want what _I_ want!"

"Whoa, whoa," Logan held up his hands. "I can't let Kendall's baby sister get drunk. He'd _kill_ me."

"Look at you!" she said. "Getting all worried about what Kendall would do or think. Kendall _isn't_ the boss of you _or_ me!"

"Where is all this coming from anyway?" Logan asked, confused.

Katie looked like she was going to yell, but caught herself, like she just realized what she had said and who she was saying it to. She sighed.

"Look, Logan, I'm not going to get drunk. It's just _one_ drink. And _you'll_ just have _one_ drink. We'll laugh about it tomorrow. Okay?"

He knew he shouldn't give in, but the puppy eyes did it every time.

"_One_ drink!" He emphasized, holding one of his fingers up.

"Thanks!" She giggled again before dancing off toward the dance floor.

He knew he was going to regret it.

* * *

Yep, he was regretting it.

Not that Katie was drunk, because she wasn't. He was pretty sure she had snuck at least one more drink before they left, but she wasn't the one wobbling on her feet.

He was.

"Logan, it was only _one_ drink," Katie said exasperated. "And it was like an hour ago! You have the constitution of a... of a … _really_ small animal!"

"Gee, thanks, Katie," he mumbled.

"Like a Chihuahua or a… chicken!" Katie exclaimed.

Logan started laughing.

"What?" Katie asked.

"Drunk Chicken!" He flapped his arms and swayed before bursting out laughing even harder.

Katie couldn't help but laugh with him.

Logan did feel a little bad that Katie was the one who had to help _him_ home. He wasn't even feeling _that_ drunk, just a little... 'buzzed' he supposed was the proper term.

"I'm sure I'll feel fine in a little while," Logan said. "We're almost home."

"Thank goodness," Katie glared. "Try not to walk into another palm tree."

"It was tiny and came out of nowhere!" Logan argued.

"It was huge and has been standing there for longer than you've been on this earth," Katie stated.

"Twerp."

"Moron."

* * *

He was feeling better.

They'd been on the couch for almost an hour now watching infomercials. The clock on the wall said one a.m. But he wasn't really feeling all that tired. And evidently, neither was she.

"I _have_ to have one of those," Katie said, pointing at the little red grill/oven thing on the TV. It apparently cooked everything in seven minutes or less, even a big juicy steak.

"For what? What can that thing do that a regular stove or oven can't?" Logan said. He pulled a string off his watermelon flavored Pull&Peel and dangled it into his mouth.

"Save space?" she answered, tossing a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

"Except you still sort of need an oven anyway," he reasoned. "So it actually takes up more space in the kitchen because you _didn't need it in the first place_!"

"But it bakes and grills and fries and, best of all, it _melts_ things!" Katie said.

"This is why infomercials repeat the same thing over and over again, constantly showing you the same _amazing_ thing over and over again," Logan explained. "You, my dear, are being brainwashed!"

"I am not!" Katie laughed.

"Fine," he shrugged. "Then I'll get you one for Christmas."

"But I want it now!" Katie demanded.

"Too bad," he laughed before snatching the remote.

"Click!" he said as he changed the channel.

"No!" she cried, trying to grab the remote away from him. "My beautiful red kitchen space waster!"

"Ooh, look," Logan said. "It's the nature channel!"

"Dork!" she yelled, still trying to grab it.

"Baby pandas!" he exclaimed.

She turned toward the TV quickly, "Really?"

"Gotcha!" he laughed as she got a visual of elephants mating.

"Ew, ew, ew," she stopped grabbing for the remote and covered her eyes. "Change it, change it."

He took mercy on her and switched to a movie channel.

"Transformers 4 from 2013," Logan read the information box. "Ah, yes, the one where the producers wised up and invited Megan Fox back." He relaxed against the couch.

"Forget about her," Katie said. "Shia LaBeouf. That's all the movie needs." She said as she settled back to watch too.

"Well, James is about to give him a run for his money when he lands the role for that new action movie he's auditioning for," Logan teased. "Who knows, if the movie does well, _he_ could have his own franchise!" He laughed. He still thought it was funny that the guy who hated messing his hair and face up was actually going to be in an action movie where things usually got blown up and cars were usually crashed and the action movie hero was always in the thick of things getting _just_ as messy.

Katie didn't say anything to that.

He figured she was too entranced by Shia LaBouf—who was actually quite _non-_buff—to respond to his quip.

It was maybe fifteen minutes later when he realized Katie was sniffing softly and it wasn't because of a sad part in the movie.

"Katie?" he asked gently. "You okay?"

She nodded, but he could tell she was lying.

"Did you—," he started.

"Not this game again," Katie said, sighing.

"I was just going to ask if you needed a tissue," he said. "But if someone squirted mustard all over your new dress or something, that would probably be upsetting."

She didn't crack a smile this time though.

"I just...," Katie sighed again. "Let's just finish watching the movie, okay? I'm fine. I swear, Logan."

"Okay," he said. If she didn't want to talk, he wasn't going to force her.

"Thanks for hanging with me," she forced a smile.

"Anytime," he said, tossing his arm around her shoulder for a quick impromtu hug.

She leaned her head on his shoulder, whispering "Thanks" again.

He relaxed against the couch, feeling at ease and finding nothing wrong with having Katie lay against him through the rest of the movie. She was family and he would do anything he could to comfort her.

* * *

A scant half hour later she was asleep.

He stretched and decided it was definitely time to go to bed. But first he knew he had to help her to her room. If she slept like that she was going to wake up with a huge kink in her neck. Plus, he knew she hated sleeping on the couch. It made her extra grumpy in the morning.

He stood, removing his arm from her shoulders and bent down in front of her, tapping her cheek, "Katie?" he whispered softly.

She gave a little groan, not wanting to wake up.

"Time for bed," he said. "Come on, I'll walk you." He put his arms out for her to grasp his hands.

She made an attempt to lift her arms but couldn't seem to find the energy to lift them all the way. He finally just grabbed her hands and pulled, almost succeeding. She rose slowly, eyes still closed, but since she was leaning away from him he was thrown off balance and ended up falling forward as she sat back down.

_Awkward_, he thought, getting a mouthful of hair.

He sighed and leaned back.

Since pulling on her arms wasn't working, he hooked his hands under her arms, thumbs pressing into her shoulders as he tried again.

She just sighed and finally reached up to put her arms around his neck.

He rolled his eyes and leaned in, sliding his arms around her back, figuring that would probably be the easiest way to get her to at least stand up.

Instead of standing up, she wrapped her long legs around his waist and whispered, "Carry me," through her sleep filled gaze.

He sighed and did as she asked. She may be taller than him, but she was thin as a rail and he had muscles from performing and working out that didn't allow for much weakness.

_Awkward_, he thought again when she rested her head on his shoulder and was almost nuzzling his neck.

Walking as fast as he could, he struggled with her room's doorknob for a moment before he was kicking the door open. He walked over to the bed and tried to get her off.

"Okay," he whispered. "We're here, you can let go now."

But she wasn't letting go.

He groaned inwardly and leaned forward, almost falling onto the mattress with her, hoping when her back touched it she would instinctively let go and burrow in her pillows and he could escape this strangeness.

He _had_ mentioned he was having the strangest day, didn't he?

It was about to get even stranger.

Because she didn't let go, instead she opened her eyes and stared at him.

He couldn't read her expression, and he was about to tell her to let go again… when she _kissed_ him.

He froze, unable to do anything but feel her warm lips on his.

He almost started to give in to the kiss. It wasn't exactly an unpleasant feeling... but realized what was going on and _who_ it was going on with.

He tore his lips away from hers and tried to wrench out of her arms without hurting her. "Katie, stop."

She shook her head, not letting go, gripping him even more tightly.

"Katie," he cleared his throat, "I can't."

He gritted his teeth when, instead of letting go, she arched her hips up against his. _Whoa! _

He almost cursed when he lost his balance and really _did_ end up lying flush against her. Her legs tightened even more and he expelled a breath. He didn't want to hurt her by forcing her to let go of him but he _really_ needed to get away from her _right now_.

"Katie," he tried again. "This can't happen. You need to let go of me."

He could see her eyes glisten with unshed tears. _Damn_.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I'll just go and we'll forget this ever happened, okay?" _Best idea ever._

"Please don't go," she whispered, her giant brown eyes begging him.

_Not the eyes, not the eyes_, he chanted to himself, trying not to look at her. He prayed she couldn't feel that he was reacting a little too much to her advances. He had to berate himself to keep from purposefully moving against her even the tiniest bit.

_No! Absolutely not! _He chastised. _Absolutely NOT going to happen!_

"You know I have to," he muttered.

"I need you," she said, sliding one of her arms up his back to the base of his neck. "Please, Logan?"

He could feel the pressure she applied while trying to bring his head back down to hers.

"Please don't go," she begged again.

He sighed and dropped his head down on her shoulder, making sure to keep his lips _far_ away from hers. Even when he tried to pull away from her, he wasn't getting anywhere. He just succeeded in rubbing himself against her which is what he _really_ didn't want to do—well he did. _No!_ He didn't!. _How was he going to get himself out of this_?

"I'll just hold you, okay?" he said finally. "Nothing else. I'll stay here, but just to sleep."

She nodded, accepting his words.

He let out a breath of relief and stood up when she let go of him.

"Logan?" she asked, on the verge of tears thinking he had lied and only said he would hold her to get her to let go.

"Just need to close the door," he said, quickly shutting the door so prying eyes—namely Carlos since he was the only one still in the state—wouldn't notice who was sharing Katie's bed that night. Of course, since Carlos hadn't returned from Rosie's yet, he probably wouldn't be home until the next day sometime in the afternoon.

He walked back to the bed, still not quite believing he was doing this, but fortified himself with a deep breath before pulling the blankets up. She scrambled to get out of the way so she could get under the covers too. He lay down, tensing when he tried to relax against the unfamiliar bed and pillow under his head. He tensed even more when she curled into his side, snuggling up _really_ close, with her face resting in his neck. _Oh God._

After a while, when he was pretty sure she was asleep again, he tried to relax his body. It wasn't that bad of a feeling, sleeping with Katie, but he knew it was so wrong. Even though nothing really happened, Kendall would still be pissed if he ever found out. Logan gulped at the thought.

Logan still didn't know what had gotten into Katie, but he absolutely did _not_ like it. He knew if it had been anyone else, he probably would have had no problem succumbing to their pleas. Heck, he was _still_ feeling uncomfortable below the belt.

He grunted softly and shifted, feeling the traitorous reminder between his legs twitch instead of relax.

Unable to do anything about it, he tried to force himself to go to sleep.

Sleep was so close, he could feel it right around the corner and he was on the verge of surrendering when lips met his again.

In his foggy mind, he couldn't stop himself from kissing back.

When he was finally waking up enough to realize that he was making out with Katie, all rational thought went out the window when he felt her hand slide from his chest to his abs before detouring south.

And just like that, he forgot all the reasons why it was so wrong and turned into her embrace.

* * *

Kendall was going to kill him.

Not just in a 'Kendall is so mad he will probably punch him and not talk to him for a week' sort of way.

Kendall was going to kill him in a 'punch his face until he drowns in his own blood' sort of way.

The rational part of Logan knew that the best thing would be for Kendall to never, _ever_, find out what had happened last night. But the irrational part knew he was going to die some time in the not so distant future.

Because Logan had sex with Katie last night... or, he preferred the term, 'made love'.

Even though he knew it would result in his untimely death, he wanted to shout it to the world because it had been the best night of his life.

He woke up with a smile on his face, thinking about how amazing she was even as he burrowed closer to her under the covers.

He was going to have to tell Kendall, no matter how much it hurt their relationship, because there was no way he was going to let her go.

He started running his fingers gently through her hair, anxious for her to wake up so he could see her smile. He wanted to ask her on a real date. He wanted to tell her that he would handle everything with Kendall. He wanted to make her breakfast in bed. He wanted to go up in the night's sky and capture a star for her.

Okay, so he was being a little irrational again. He couldn't help it.

He grinned when he felt her starting to stir.

She squirmed and then opened her eyes, looking straight into his.

"Morning," he whispered softly.

"Morning," she whispered back. She closed her eyes again.

Then opened them wide.

"Logan?" she said in a small voice.

"Hey," he said, grinning from ear to ear, not noticing that anything was wrong. "Want me to make you some breakfast? French toast with a side of strawberries?"

She sat up gingerly, careful to bring the thin sheet on the bed up with her, covering herself completely.

"I, uh," she seemed at a lost for words.

"And fresh squeezed orange juice," he said enthusiastically, throwing the covers off of himself. He leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss before grabbing his boxers. He quickly stepped into them, pulling them up and turning back to her.

"Breakfast in ten minutes," he said, grabbing his t-shirt, not able to stop smiling as he left the room.

* * *

He whistled while he cooked. He heard the shower turn on and grinned. He really shouldn't be thinking about her in the shower, but he was nineteen, not a eunuch.

He had just finished sprinkling the powdered sugar on the toast when Katie made her way into the kitchen.

She was wearing a simple pair of jean shorts, and a modest blue v-neck t-shirt. She had on no makeup and her hair was still wet and brushed straight. She looked absolutely beautiful.

"Bon appetite!" he said with flourish, putting the plate in front of her.

"Thanks," she murmured and picked up her fork.

He watched her as she cut off a piece and ate it, suddenly realizing she hadn't looked at him once since she came into the room.

"Good?" he asked for lack of something better to say.

"Yeah," she murmured, picking up a strawberry next and nibbling at it.

He sat down across from her and picked up a strawberry of his own.

He kept waiting for her to say something else, but she didn't.

That was his first indication that something was wrong, though he really should have read the signs from the moment she woke up.

"So, what do you want to do today?" he asked. "There's a –"

"Logan," she interrupted, putting her fork down quickly and finally looking at him. "Stop."

"Um…" he stuttered. "Ohh _kay_, I was just, going to, um.."

"You don't have to take me anywhere," she said. "It's alright, Logan."

"_Oh_," he said, finally understanding, "You think if we go out the paparazzi might see us and word will get back to Kendall, right? Don't worry about that. I'll talk to him as soon as he gets back, or call him right now, or… maybe I should fly down to tell him in person…" he thought to himself that it would probably be best _to_ tell him in person, even though his face hurt just thinking about it.

"No!" she exclaimed, showing the first signs of life all morning.

He jumped, startled. "What?"

"Don't tell Kendall!" she said forcefully. "Don't tell anyone! _Especially_ none of the guys! Logan, please, promise me!" Her eyes were begging him.

"But…" he gulped. "What? Sneak around? I don't want to do that." He sucked at lying and was even worse at being sneaky.

"No," she said. "Logan, no… just… we're just friends, okay? Just pretend it never happened. We'll just go back to being friends, alright?"

Logan stared at her in complete shock, his stomach dropped.

"Okay?" she asked, pleading.

"Why?" he finally managed to ask.

"That's just how it should be, okay?" she asked again.

"Was it really that bad, I mean I thought you had…" he stumbled over the words, not understanding why she was saying any of this.

She blushed.

"I did, and it wasn't bad," she looked down, clearly embarrassed.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked.

"Logan…" she shook her head.

"I want to be with you," he said. "You have to know that what happened last night isn't something I take lightly. I mean, I never…" he flushed then, not wanting to reveal the whole truth to her with the way this conversation was going.

"I don't just sleep around," he finished. "What happened last night, it meant something to me. _You_ mean something to me."

"Logan…" she looked everywhere but at him now. "I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but I don't…"

He looked at her, holding his breath, waiting for her next words.

"I don't want to be with you," she said.

"Then what was last night?" he asked, unable to believe this was happening.

"A mistake," she finally said, defeated, like she had been trying to avoid saying that but couldn't think of anything better to say.

"No, it wasn't," he denied. "You wanted me. You practically begged me, no, you _did_ beg me to stay!"

"Logan, stop," Katie held up a hand.

"No, no stopping," Logan argued. "You _begged_ me to stay with you. You told me you needed me. _Me_! So, what, all of a sudden it's a mistake and you don't need me anymore? Why can't we just go out on _one_ date and see if maybe we can _make_ a relationship between us work?"

"Because I'm not in love with you," she said finally.

"All the more reason to date, so maybe one day you _could_ fall in love with me, and vice versa!" He exclaimed, flailing his arms to get his point across.

"Logan!" she exclaimed, "I'm not in love with _you_!" putting extra emphasis on the 'you' this time.

_Oh God_.

"You mean…" Logan felt like something in him was close to snapping, he just didn't know what that something was. "You're in love with someone else."

She just nodded.

"That's why you were upset yesterday," he realized. "Wasn't it?"

She nodded again.

"What? Did he break up with you? Cheat on you? _Leave_ you?" he asked, drawing out the word 'leave' because he remembered her begging him not to go last night.

"I'm not playing any more guessing games with you," she said.

"Fine, no more guessing!" he exclaimed. He rubbed the back of his neck in disbelief.

"Logan," she said softly. "I did need you last night. I needed you to be my friend and hold me and just make all the pain go away. And you did, and you might never know how much it meant to me," she choked on the words here, clearly upset too, "But I can't give you what you want. I just need you to keep this a secret for me—for us! And I need you to keep being my friend."

"I don't know if I can do that," Logan admitted. How could he possibly act like nothing had happened after what he had done?

"Logan, you can't tell anyone," Katie insisted. "_Anyone_! One word of it and it gets back to Kendall, you know it will! And what then? Your friendship is ruined over nothing!"

"It wasn't 'nothing'," Logan mumbled, suddenly feeling the need to leave the room.

Katie didn't say anything.

And suddenly, with almost perfect clarity, he could hear the unspoken words that would have filled the silence if she had been able to say it. 'But it was nothing to _me_.'

He was sure she was thinking it. She just had to be. He knew her enough to know what snappy comeback usually came from her mouth.

"I won't say a word," he snapped in her general direction, unable to look at her again.

Then he left the apartment without a backward glance.

* * *

_(seven months later)_

From the moment he looked up and saw that Maternity sign, he was fighting for breath. It was a miracle he didn't start hyperventilating then and there.

When Kendall came out, looking like death, it was all Logan could do not to burst into tears. As Kendall told all of them every detail that he had discerned from his mother and father, Logan knew that he was following the medical details better than the other two.

He also knew that it was his fault. Because back in the final weeks of January, on the strangest day he ever had, he had unprotected sex with his best friend's little sister. The encounter had been completely unplanned so he didn't have any protection. She said she was on the pill. He had tried to pull out anyway, but knew that method wasn't foolproof.

He should have made sure nothing like this had happened. But he was too crushed to do anything except throw himself into school and prepare for the upcoming tour. He had begged Gustavo for some solo interviews before the start of the tour—anything so he could get away from the apartment and not have to see her every day. He guessed at the back of his mind that if she found herself pregnant, she would let him know. There was no point in keeping it a secret from him. He was already sitting on the biggest secret of all anyway.

Two days ago he had gotten the first text from her since that strange day. He was almost walking on air because she said she wanted to meet and talk with him when the tour was over. He was silently hoping she had changed her mind and wanted to get together.

He couldn't sleep at night while dreaming about their reunion. He had visions of her telling him that being with him was all _she_ could think about. That she had made a huge mistake and realized she was in love with _him_, not whoever that other jerk was. He wanted her so badly.

For the first time on this tour, he started to enjoy himself, even going so far as to do some extra back flips with his renewed energy. He was suddenly anxious to get the rest of this tour over with so he could see Katie because even after everything that happened, he had come to realize he was in love with her no matter how much she had hurt him that day.

But now none of his hopes and dreams were going to come true… because Katie was going to die—he had read enough about pulmonary embolisms to know that if she already couldn't breathe on her own, the chances of her surviving were none.

And he was now a father.

And he also had to do the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.

As Kendall sat there, helplessly, asking a question he probably should never know the answer to, Logan knew that he owed Kendall the truth.

So he braced himself, trying to force himself to breathe, and then uttered the words that would change all their lives forever.

"I am."

And he froze, hearing an echo of his words.

Kendall looked up in horror, staring at James first and then Logan.

And as Logan looked over at James, he realized what had happened.

And in that instant he knew who Katie had been in love with.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part I: Chapter 3 – James's story._


	4. Pt I: Ch 3 James' story

I own nothing.

* * *

PART ONE: Chapter 3

* * *

_(one year ago, August)_

**James…**

"_I wanna be a billionaire, So frickin bad,  
buy all of the things I've never had,_

_"I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine,  
smiling next to Oprah and the Queen_

_"__Oooh, every time I close my eyes, _

_"I see my name in shining lights,  
a different city every night, _

"_OOhh I, I swear, the world better prepare for when I'm a billionaire!"_

"Would you ever let the _Queen_ touch your hair?"

"Ah!" James let out a girly scream.

He quickly jumped off the living room table—or more 'tumbled' off it—and spun for a couch pillow to cover his nether regions even though they were already somewhat covered.

It was extremely embarrassing getting caught singing and dancing on a table in his briefs.

Katie started laughing and clapping her hands.

"What are _you _doing here!"

"I live here!" Katie said around her giggles. "And Bruno Mars, huh? Even being a _mill_ionaire didn't stop him from snorting coke, so that much money can't be all that great."

"No one is supposed to be home!" James complained, standing awkwardly, trying to figure out how to get around Katie without dropping the pillow.

"Well," Katie shrugged, "I'm here. And I never would have taken you for a tighty-whitey."

She laughed, "Don't you look cute trying to hide behind that pillow! Seriously, James, it's not like you're naked. I've seen guys in briefs before."

"Really?" he stood up straighter, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Where?"

She rolled her eyes, "Male models? In magazines? Ever heard of them?"

"Oh," he said. He cleared his throat. "There's nothing wrong with briefs." He defended.

She laughed. "Guess its better than letting it all hang out like Logan."

"Uh…what?" James squinted, growing extremely confused and uncomfortable.

She burst out laughing. "Maybe he just needs more space." She started walking away.

"What's that supposed to mean!" She was obviously confused. Most guys who wore briefs needed _more_ support.

She just shook her head, still laughing.

He dropped the pillow and raced over to her. "How would you know if Logan wears boxers or briefs anyway?"

"Please," she shook her head. "Every time he performs without jeans all his fans rejoice. And _especially_ when his pants are _really_ tight—there's a huge debate online on whether he just goes commando for those. And have _you_ seen those Danger Boy photos?"

"Ugh," James covered his ears. "Did not need to hear that."

"You asked," she shrugged. She smirked before turning with a flick of hair and striding down the hall.

She had definitely grown up in the past three years. At fifteen, she had already started filling out nicely. She had shot up in height too.

James stood at the end of the hall while she walked away, watching the sway of her hips for a minute before realizing whose butt he was checking out.

"Aw, man!" he said. Turning his head, he fixed his bangs while trying to forget the major bad thing he'd just done by checking Katie out.

"By the way," she said, poking her head back into the hall. "Kendall and Carlos?"

"Yeah?" he asked, wondering if she had a message from them or something.

"Boxer-briefs!" she exclaimed.

"Ah!" he cringed, grabbing his ears. "Ear muffs!"

* * *

_(one month later, September)_

"Why do I always find you at your most embarrassing moment?"

"I have no idea," came the muffled response.

Katie pulled the bandana out of his mouth.

"Need a hand?"

"Please."

Katie started clapping.

"Not funny!" James said. "For real, just remove the straps, will you?"

The annual king of pranks day was coming and as a warm up Carlos had gotten James good. He strapped James into his bed like an insane asylum patient while he was sleeping. His hands were even tied together across his chest, making it impossible for him to get free.

The other guys had asked where he was before leaving for the studio. James could hear Carlos in the hall explaining that James was having a bad hair day and would follow them later. He was pretty sure Katie only came to his room because she could hear the muffled shouts around the gag.

"Why should I?" she asked sweetly.

"Because I asked nicely," James explained.

"Not good enough," she said devilishly.

"I'll give you a shiny nickel!" he joked.

"Right, that will work," she smirked.

"Come on, you know you want to help your celebrity crush," James winked.

Katie cleared her throat.

"It's been three years! Even if you didn't have a crush back then, you _so_ do now!" James egged her on privately hoping what he said was true.

Ever since their 'brief' run-in, he'd been finding it harder and harder to stop checking her out whenever he saw her. And even though she was just as sassy as she had always been, he found it way more appealing now than he did when she was twelve and he was fifteen.

"Do you honestly think saying that will make me want to help you?" she arched an eyebrow.

"Fine," he gave up. "What will it take for you to help?"

She grinned.

_Uh oh_…

* * *

"Jeez, James, why are you so jumpy?" Carlos asked, peering at his best friend from his lounge chair.

James was usually lying out and relaxing, instead he was sitting up in his chair on a constant look out, scared of his own shadow.

"This is all _your_ fault!" James exclaimed.

"What I do?" Carlos was confused.

"That prank you pulled!" James glared.

"Oh, yeah," Carlos laughed.

"Katie let me out, but not without consequences," James looked around again.

"Which were?"

"She wanted to touch my hair!" James squeaked.

"Did you let her?" Carlos laughed. "Guess that means she really does have a crush on you."

James yelped. "Not even! She said she reserved the right to put her hand through my hair one time, but the time and place would be of _her_ choosing and she wouldn't tell me when and where so now… she could pop up out of _nowhere_ to do it!"

Carlos started laughing.

"She's not crushing on me!" James exclaimed. "She's trying to _crush_ me!"

Kendall and Logan joined them then.

"What's up guys?" Kendall asked.

Carlos explained.

"And my genius baby sister strikes again," Kendall laughed, as did Logan.

James grumbled.

"Now all you do is think about when she's going to strike," Logan said. "She pranked you worse than Carlos by messing with your head. You should have given her a time frame. Or who _knows_ how long she will drag this out."

James swallowed.

"Well, I think you can relax for now, she's leaving the pool," Carlos pointed. "Probably going to change. That will give you at least five minutes to relax."

"You know," James said, "You're absolutely correct Logan. And I'm going to tell her _right now_ that she only has a free pass until tonight! After that, I will not be a victim!"

"Go get 'em, tiger," Logan cheered.

James followed Katie through the lobby, ignoring his friends' laughter behind him.

* * *

He raced up the stairs and was standing next to her bedroom door before her elevator even arrived on the floor.

"We need to talk," he said, glaring.

"Why, James?" she grinned sweetly while towel drying her hair. Her simple green one piece suit was still wet, but she didn't seem to mind standing there in it and talking to him. "Something bothering you?"

"Will you just do it," he said, pointing at his head, "and get it over with? I can't take it anymore!"

"Fine," she said, huffing, she tossed the towel in her room and turned back to him.

She reached up toward his head, he leaned forward, wincing slightly but relieved he was in the apartment so he could go fix his hair right after.

He couldn't deny that he couldn't wait for her to touch him either. Knowing that it was going to happen made him a little excited. What would her fingers feel like?

"Sike!" she tore her hand back and ran into her room, slamming the door behind her, locking it.

"That's it!" he yelled. "You have until tonight! After that, you can forget about touching this head of perfect hair!"

"You can't change the rules!" came her reply through the door.

"I just did!"

She opened the door and smirked. "Maybe I will wait until tomorrow... or the next day... or the next...maybe I'll do it next week! You never know when I'll strike. Before an interview, at the pool, in public! Everywhere you look, all you'll think about is 'where's Katie?'."

"I know where Katie is," he said. "She's right here!" He attacked the door.

She squealed and tried to push the door shut. "No!"

"Just touch it! Touch it!" he kept pushing on the door, finally getting it open because she was no match for him.

"Never!" she screamed and ran around the other side of her bed.

He chased after her. She jumped and scampered across the mattress to the other side of the room.

He went back around the bed, trying to grab hold of her.

She started climbing back over the mattress, but he followed her this time, grabbing her from behind. He fell against her, his arms wrapping around her body to keep her from getting away again. They landed on the mattress and she tried to get away to no avail.

"You're making me get my bed wet!" she exclaimed, smacking his arm repeatedly. "Let go, James!"

"Not until you do it!"

"I won't!" she said and started squirming and twisting, fighting to break loose.

"Then I won't let you go!" He struggled with her, not wanting to give an inch.

They continued fighting until they were both out of breath. She had managed to wiggle around so she was now facing him.

"You know you want to touch it," he said. "So just do it, c'mon, _do it_." He looked at her and realized they were very close... maybe a little too close.

It didn't help that her semi-nude body was pressed up against his. He felt a little hitch in his breathing and his heart started racing.

"I will not," she murmured.

He realized she was staring straight into his eyes. And somehow, against his better judgment, his lips found hers.

She reacted almost instantly, melting into his embrace and returning the kiss.

All thoughts went out the window as he dived in, exploring her mouth, not seeming to be able to get enough of the taste of her.

Her hands broke free from his restraints, but just went up to the side of his face and around his neck. He felt her fingers slide to the back of his neck, trying to drag him closer.

He pressed her more fully into the mattress, his mouth running down to her neck, licking and nipping gently. He grinned when he heard her moan. He made his way back up to her mouth.

Reality was starting to return and he knew he had to stop. It was wrong on so many levels.

He smiled into her mouth when he realized where her fingers were. It was incentive enough to make him stop this sweet torment without things being too awkward.

He pulled back.

"You touched it!" he teased.

She looked confused for a moment, still in a haze from the kisses. Realization came over her features, along with anger. She clenched her fingers where they were resting in his hair and pulled hard.

"Ow, ow, ow," he hollered, trying to get away. "Stop! You'll ruin it!"

"That's not all I'm going to do," she said, reaching up and grabbing hold of another cluster of hair with her other hand.

He tickled her side.

"Ah!" she squealed, finally letting go. "Not fair!"

"All's fair in... something," he said, not remembering the exact quote.

"Love and _war_!" she cried before smacking him hard upside the head with one of her huge stuffed animals.

"Hey!"

She jumped up and ran for her private bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it behind her.

"This isn't over!" she squealed through the door.

"Yes, it is!" he said.

Then he left her room quickly. Even though it had been fun—and _very_ hot—there were some serious thoughts pressing on his mind.

First and foremost, _what the hell did he just do?_

* * *

He returned to the pool, so absorbed in his thoughts that it took him a full minute to realize all of the guys were laughing at him. Again.

"What now?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," Logan said, snickering. "So I guess she decided to put you out of your misery?"

"Hmm?" he said, not following, still a little shell shocked by what happened moments ago. He thought maybe he shouldn't have left without talking to her first, but _she_ had been the one to lock her self in the bathroom. He didn't know what he would say anyway, so it was probably a good thing he hadn't stayed.

"Your hair," Carlos pointed and laughed.

_Crap!_ He put his hands up to his head, trying to smooth it down. He knew that wasn't going to work, so he grabbed Carlos' helmet off his head and pushed it firmly over his own messy hair.

He looked around to see if anyone else had noticed. Since no one was pointing and laughing, he let out a sigh of relief.

"She's crazy!" he exclaimed.

"How'd she get you?" Carlos asked.

"Just, you know, grabbed and pulled," he said, deciding not to go into anymore details.

"Niiice," Carlos said, smiling.

"So, what we doing?" James asked, wondering what the guys had been talking about after he left.

"What do you think?" Carlos said, nodding toward Logan.

"Not this again," James groaned, as if he didn't already have enough on his mind.

"Guys, seriously," Logan said. "The Palm Woods is the home for the _future_ famous. We already _are_ famous. We need to move out."

"And I told _you_," James said. "You aren't really famous until your picture is on the cover of Rolling Stone."

"Dude, this is like home now," Carlos insisted.

"You guys, we're working on our third album!" Logan pointed out. "It's only a matter of time before the future famous start attacking us like crazed fans! We get recognized all the time already!"

"Usually only when we're all together," Carlos pointed out. "I've never been noticed when I'm not with you _'dawgs'_." Carlos laughed at his own Gustavo impression.

"He's got a point," Kendall said.

James and Carlos let out a "Ha!" at Logan. Everyone knew that if Kendall didn't agree with something it didn't happen.

"So you don't agree with me either?" Logan asked Kendall, looking like his balloon had been deflated.

Kendall sighed. "Logan, its not that I don't think we should move…_eventually_… I'm just…" he trailed off.

"Yes?" the guys leaned in, urging him to continue.

"I'm worried about Katie… and my mom… but mostly Katie," Kendall finished.

"What about her?" James asked quickly. Anything about Katie was on his radar today.

"If she's not at the Palm Woods, then what?" Kendall asked. "She goes to a _real_ L.A. school? I don't know if she can handle that. Well, she probably could, but I don't _want_ her handling that. And what if she and Mom head back to Minnesota? Do you know how many times we've been home in the past three years? I can't be away from them that long. I still don't know how you guys manage it."

"Well, she and Mama Knight don't have to leave," Logan explained. "She still goes to those auditions every once in a while. They can stay; _we_ will just get our own place."

"Do you really think she's going to want to stay here and keep going to auditions if we're not here?" Kendall said. "And I'm not sure I want her here by herself."

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"It's the same reason I don't want her going to a normal L.A. school," Kendall explained. "The people in this world aren't like the people back home. Everyone here is selfish and only looking to get ahead. They have no compassion. You've seen it, I've seen it. I don't want anyone taking advantage of her. And I don't want them to change who she is."

"She's tough though," James insisted. "I don't think it's possible_ for_ someone to take advantage of her. She can handle herself."

"Until some guy comes along that _I_ won't be able to protect her from," Kendall said. "Katie deserves way more than the guys this town offers. I'd rather she go back to Minnesota than stay here and get hurt by some famous-wannabe who worries more about his hair, clothes, and next audition than her."

James shifted uncomfortably. That description sounded familiar. But he wasn't shallow and lacking in compassion…_was he?_

"But you can't protect her every minute of every day," Logan argued. "At some point, you gotta let 'em go."

"That's why I'm glad I have you guys," Kendall said, smiling at his best friends. "I know all three of you will protect her when I can't be there."

"Yeah," Carlos chimed in. "It's like she has four brothers, not just one!"

James agreed because he knew he should, but he started to feel very guilty.

He was supposed to be one of Katie's protectors, and what had he done? _Made out with her!_

He was going to hell.

"And if we leave the Palm Woods," Kendall explained, "she won't have any of us."

"What about when we're on tour?" Logan asked, still trying to convince Kendall though he seemed less gung-ho about his argument now. "We aren't there every day then. See? You can't protect her all the time."

"Maybe we should ask them to come on tour the next time?" Kendall said. "If Mom agrees, Katie can keep up with her classes online like we did. And it'll be good for her to get to see the world a little—or at least the good ole' us of 'a'."

"Man, do you really want your _mom_ on tour with us?" Carlos asked.

"Katie's going to be sixteen in a few months. Do you _know_ what could happen at her age?" Kendall explained. "_We_ had each other, but who does she have? I mean, _really_? I just want to protect her."

The guys all nodded.

James fidgeted for his phone. He sent a quick text to Katie, telling her they needed to talk. He was going to have to put a stop to whatever was going on before Kendall got wind of it.

A moment later she texted "tonight." _Well, that wasn't in any way vague._

Moments passed, the boys just resting comfortably and enjoying the warm sun.

"So…" Carlos began, sounding confused.

"_Yes, Carlos_?" the other three asked simultaneously.

"Does this mean we're moving if we get on the cover of Rolling Stone?"

The guys groaned.

* * *

"Katie," he whispered. His fingers tapped the wood lightly, barely making a sound. "Katie!" he whispered again.

"What are you doing?"

He jumped and spun around.

"What does it look like I'm doing," he whispered back sarcastically in the dark hallway.

"Trying to wake up everyone?" Katie said, holding a glass of juice in one hand, her other resting on her hip.

It was after midnight and he had been waiting all night for the chance to talk to her alone but everywhere he went one or more of the guys seemed to follow. He finally waited until all three were knocked out before sneaking from the room he shared with Carlos to talk to her.

"Can we just talk now, please?" James insisted.

She rolled her eyes and motioned with her hand toward her bedroom door.

He opened it quickly and let her walk in first, following behind and shutting the door as quickly and quietly as possible.

"You don't have to be so stealthy," Katie said, not whispering this time as she placed her glass on her desk. "A bomb going off couldn't wake those guys...or my mom for that matter."

"So why were you whispering in the hall," he said only _slightly_ louder, still afraid of being caught.

"I was humoring you," she smirked before sitting on the edge of her bed.

"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked innocently.

"Uh, _duh_?" James rolled his eyes and held up his hands expectantly.

"You're really going to have to explain, James, cause I don't know what you're talking about," she teased.

"_That_!" he insisted, making a sweeping gesture at her bed.

"What about it?"

He was getting annoyed at the glint in her eye that indicated she was amused.

"It shouldn't have happened and can't happen again!" he blurted before he began pacing.

"I disagree," she said, leaning back to rest on her elbows.

He didn't like the way she was sitting. He was pretty sure she hadn't intended to, but she looked almost erotic if not for her 'Hello Kitty' pajamas.

Then he realized what she said. He stopped pacing.

"_What!" _he almost yelled but remembered to bring his voice down at the last second.

"I disagree," she said.

"You mean…" James shook his head. "No, absolutely not." He started pacing again.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because! You're Kendall's little sister! You're like a little sister to me!" he insisted.

"You do that with all your sisters?" she raised an eyebrow, indicating the bed.

"No!" James blurted. "I don't have any sisters. I mean, _you_ are… I mean…ugh!" He grabbed his head in his hands. "What am I saying?"

"I think," she said, standing up, "you were giving a whole lot of excuses. But the truth is, you liked it."

"No!" he denied. "No, I didn't. Absolutely no liking!"

"Liar," she said. She took a step forward, challenging him with her words and eyes.

He stepped back.

"Katie, it doesn't matter if I liked it or not," he said, trying to reason with her. "_I_ can't be with you. I won't chance my friendship with Kendall. He's done too much for me. And he will never approve of me and you."

She thought about his words for a long minute. He held his breath, praying she would just agree and then he could leave and they could just put it behind them as one of those crazy things that 'just happen' and never should be spoken of again.

"Kendall doesn't have to know," she whispered, stepping toward him again to make up for the space he had made with his back step. Her eyes were on his lips.

Unwillingly, his eyes moved to _her_ lips too. "I'm too old for you," he whispered in a last ditch attempt to convince her.

"No…" she took another step toward him, bringing her body up against his, "you're not."

"This will never work," he whispered.

"I know," she said before her mouth settled on his.

And with a sigh he wrapped his arms around her, his mouth melting into hers.

_Yep, he was sooo going to hell._

* * *

_(four months later, beginning of January)_

"No."

"But…"

"No 'buts' Katie," James insisted. He was usually a push over. And when it came to this, he didn't usually need much convincing. But this time was different. "It's not going to happen."

"But why? We love each other," Katie insisted. "You know I love you."

"And I love you, but you are sixteen years old and, _oh yeah_, my best friend's little sister!" James explained. "I am not having sex with you!"

"James, we have done everything _but_ in the past four months!" Katie pointed out. "Don't you want me?"

She had grown increasingly vulnerable with him, letting down her sassy guard and opening up over their time together. He knew that was the only reason she would ask something like that.

"It's not about the wanting," James said, _man, was it _not_ about the wanting! _"I just think it's way too soon."

"But you're going away now! And then you're going on tour for six months! And right now the guys are hardly ever home, Mom's in Minnesota with Aunt Dottie, and Kendall isn't even in this state," Katie said. "It's the perfect time! Who knows when we'll be able to be together again!"

"You're going on tour with us," he pointed out. "Remember? We'll see each other tons!"

"Yeah, where I will only see glimpses of you and never alone," she exclaimed. "Then I get to watch you sign autographs and flirt with all your fans! And let's not forget the fact that I get to watch you pretend to be interested in other girls because you don't want the guys to suspect anything!"

"That's how it has to be," he said.

"Not if you would just tell Kendall about us," she snapped.

It was the first time she had ever said that to him. He felt like his perfectly constructed house of cards was about to fall.

"That's how we _agreed_ it would be," he said sharply, reminding her of _her_ words months ago.

The past four months had been so amazing—and stressful. James had tried unsuccessfully to end things with Katie on numerous occasions since that first month back in September, but his willpower never seemed to hold out. Eventually he gave in and got used to the sneaking around. They had been extremely successful too because no one had any idea that their trips to the mall or store were actually excuses to spend alone time together. And no one knew that after the lights went out he would sneak into her room—though he tried to cut it down to only once or twice a week. Anymore might have given them away.

And she was right, they _had_ done almost everything _'but'_. He made certain to keep everything PG-13. He wasn't ready to take that final step. As much as he already knew he was going to hell, he couldn't do that and live with himself.

"I can't tell Kendall," he said firmly.

"Well, maybe _I_ should!" she exclaimed.

He stilled; his expression like stone. She had gone too far.

"Do that, and we're over," he said in a deadly calm voice.

She paused, eyes going wide.

"Just like that?" she asked, clearly stunned.

"Just like that," he answered; his face serious.

"I think you're making too big of a deal about this," she said. "You've been one of his best friend's _forever_. Why _would_ he have a problem with you dating me? He knows you. He knows you would never do anything to hurt me!"

Except Kendall didn't know that. Kendall knew the James who practically stole Logan's girlfriend years ago. Kendall knew the James who lost his virginity before all the other guys. Kendall knew the James who had a date with a different girl almost every week. And, as far as Kendall knew, James still _had_ a date with a different girl almost every week.

Even after he started seeing Katie, he would lie about meeting up with different girls just to maintain his cover. As far as Kendall was concerned, James was as big a player as he'd ever been.

James knew there was no way Kendall would be okay with him seeing Katie. Kendall wanted better for her. And James knew he was no where near good enough to be with her.

Plus, James felt guilty for being the one to drag Kendall and Katie into this life… the one that Kendall thought was uncompassionate and selfish.

Kendall had been the one to make his dreams come true. If it hadn't been for Kendall, James would still be stuck in Minnesota trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his life.

James owed Kendall everything. So, no, he wasn't going to admit he'd been messing around with his sister behind his back.

"You said it yourself," he finally said, throwing her words back at her. "Kendall doesn't have to know."

"So… what?" she said, flabbergasted. "We sneak around for the rest of our lives? What sort of future is that?"

"Its not," he said simply. "But it's all I can offer now."

"This is so pointless," she said. "You either want to be with me, or you don't. And if you do, then we should just tell Kendall. Get it out of the way so we can actually have fun together on this tour instead of sneaking around."

"Katie," he began, a warning in his voice.

"Well? Do you, or don't you?" she voiced the ultimatum.

"Don't ask me that," he said. She really shouldn't put it that way. Because given a choice between Katie or Kendall…

"I just did, now answer," she insisted, glaring.

"Then…" he sighed, "I don't."

She gasped.

"That's not a fair question!" he quickly tried to fix it. "I want to be with you! I just don't want Kendall to know! You know that!"

"So you choose Kendall over me?" she asked.

"Well…" he couldn't finish that sentence.

"Fine!" Katie almost growled. "It's over! I hope you and Kendall have a long and happy life together! Without me!"

_What just happened?_

* * *

_(begnining of February, three weeks later)_

James stepped off the plane at LAX feeling more revitalized than any other time in his life.

He had nailed his audition and he was well on his way to playing a major action hero in a movie about a guy racing against the clock to save the country, and his damsel in distress. It had a Jack Bauer feel to it, only it would be on the big screen and the lead would be _much_ younger. He couldn't wait for his training to begin!

But the best part about going away for a while without any of his friends around meant that he could really _really_ think about the situation he was in with Katie.

And he had come to the conclusion that… he missed her. He really did love her, and if it took the rest of his life… he would convince Kendall to forgive him.

But first he had to go home, find her, and tell her about his epiphany. He needed to make it up to her. Make her understand how sorry he was for not seeing the light before now.

And hopefully she would take him back just in time for Kendall to arrive back home. Then he could tell his friend about his feelings, admit to all the horrible things he had done in the past four months, and then maybe, _just_ maybe, he and Katie could finally be happy together…and _public._

"James!"

He looked around and followed the voice to the person who had agreed to pick him up from the airport. He hurried forward and clapped his friend on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Logan," he said gratefully.

"No problem, man," Logan said, hands still in his pockets.

Was it his imagination, or did Logan seem really down about something?

"You okay, dude?" James asked.

"Oh, yeah," Logan nodded. He forced a smile. "Welcome home! How'd it go?"

"I got the part," he announced, unable to contain his beaming smile.

"That's awesome!" Logan said, seemingly shaking off whatever was bothering him and giving a hearty congratulations.

"Just wait until you see all these gadgets and gizmos they want me to learn to use," he said excitedly.

"Like?"

"Crossbow!"

"Lord, help us," Logan groaned.

* * *

"Where'd Logan run off to?" James asked after settling his stuff in his room and heading back to the kitchen.

"Interview," Carlos mumbled around his corn dog.

"Logan?" James said, surprised. "Alone?"

"Yea," Carlos said while chewing. "He's been doing a lot lately."

"Why?"

Carlos shrugged. "Guess he's just bored." He took another bite.

"Haven't you two hung out any?" James asked.

"Nope," he swallowed. "All my time is for my little Rosie."

James rolled his eyes. "You're still seeing her?"

"Why not? She's perfect!" Carlos got all huffy.

"Calm down," James said. "I'm just playing." _No, he wasn't._

"So…" he finally got to the question he really meant to ask, "Where's Katie?"

Carlos shrugged. "Around."

"Okay…" _Well, that didn't work._

"Gotta go," Carlos finished his corn dog and tossed the stick in the trash. "See ya tonight…maybe." He winked and rollerbladed out of the apartment.

James sighed. _Welcome home, James_.

* * *

James had just settled down to start watching a movie when he heard the front door. He turned in time to see a blur of clothes and hair as Katie went racing for her room, not pausing to even _look_ in his direction.

He guessed he had his work cut out for him.

He went to stand up, figuring this would be as good a time as any to tell her what was on his mind, but stopped when he heard the door again.

Logan came in slowly, looking extremely tired. He closed the door, looking around the room…for what, James wasn't sure.

Evidently not finding what he was looking for, he walked over to the big orange couch and collapsed next to James.

"Sup?" James asked.

Logan gave a sound that was more of a grunt.

"That good, huh?"

"You don't even know," Logan murmured.

James would have continued asking questions but Logan stood up then.

"I'm tired, I'll be in my room the rest of the night," he explained.

"Okay…" James trailed off. _What was up with him?_

* * *

"Katie," he whispered, his fingers tapped gently on her door.

He was having a feeling of déjà vu and turned around quickly to see if Katie had walked up behind him.

There was no one there and a split second later Katie opened her door and peered out.

"What?" she said, looking up and down the hallway, making sure the coast was clear. Then she glared at him.

"Welcome home, James," James said sarcastically. "So great to see you, James. How was your trip, James? Were you just going to keep ignoring me?"

"Pretty much," she whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" he asked.

"I don't want anyone to hear," she whispered back.

That made no sense to James. After their first clandestine meeting he never had whispered discussions with her. The boys really _could_ sleep through a bomb going off.

"_O_kay…" he whispered, confused.

"Logan's been staying up late," she whispered, not quite meeting his eyes.

"We need to talk," he stated. "When's good for you?"

"I don't really think we have anything else to say," she whispered, eyes darting down the hall again.

"I do," he said. "And unless you want to have this discussion out here or in there _right now_, you'll agree to meet."

She worried her bottom lip with her teeth before nodding. "I'll text you tomorrow."

She closed the door quickly before he had time to say anything else.

He sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. He walked down the corridor to his room, pausing in front of Logan and Kendall's room. He could see a slight glow coming through the bottom of the door indicating that Logan was indeed awake and probably on his laptop or reading by his desk lamp. _If Logan was so exhausted, why wasn't he sleeping?_

He would have to talk to Logan in the morning.

* * *

When morning came, James walked into the living room and nearly stumbled over a big blue suitcase.

He looked around, confused.

He heard a rustling behind him and turned to find Logan walking quickly down the hall with a carryon and some papers.

"Logan?" he asked.

"Tag," Logan said, quickly touching James' shoulder, "you're it." He kept walking to the living room.

"Huh?"

"Now that you're here, you can keep an eye on Katie so I can go to New York for the week... or maybe longer," Logan explained quickly, going through his list one more time to make sure he had packed everything he needed. "I would have left sooner but since Carlos is barely here, I figured I'd wait till you got back so someone can keep an eye on her."

"What's in New York?" James asked, perplexed.

"Oh, Gustavo wants me to attend some events, do some red carpet interviews, that sort of thing," Logan replied, talking a mile a minute.

"And he didn't want all of us to go?" James asked.

"Na, you guys were all busy," Logan shrugged. "Besides, I volunteered."

"You?" James said, not with a little disbelief.

Logan just shrugged again. He finished with his check list and started toward the door, his suitcase on wheels following him.

"Don't worry, I'll be back before March," Logan said. "Bye, James!"

And with a wave, he was gone.

_What in the world?_

* * *

"Where's Logan?" Carlos asked, plopping down next to James and grabbing the second game controller.

"New York," James said, moving his thumbs vigorously, trying to stay alive in the game.

He heard a clatter in the kitchen, but barely glanced up.

"When'd he leave?" Carlos asked.

"This morning," James replied. "He say anything to you about it?"

"Nope," Carlos shook his head as he started to play on the second player. "Katie, he say anything to you?" he called toward the kitchen.

"No," came her quick reply.

"Weird," Carlos said.

"Wonder what's bugging him," James said, thumbs still moving.

"Who knows?"

After losing control of his car, James decided to focus on the game and put all troublesome thoughts about Logan on hold. He'd let them know what was bothering him sooner or later.

And James would feel better if he could just find a moment alone to speak to Katie without Carlos bothering him, but it seemed that Carlos was either growing tired of Rosie—_finally!_—or the poor guy had just really missed spending time with his best friend. Carlos _did_ tend to spend more of his time with James than any of the other guys. Probably because Logan and Kendall had always been closer to each other.

Katie texted James a couple of times trying to set up the meeting that he had wanted so badly, though she was insistent that he didn't come to her room at night anymore. Each time James was unable to get away because Carlos seemed to follow him wherever he went.

"Carlos, what's up with Rosie?" he finally asked, desperate for a minute alone with Katie.

"Oh, uh," Carlos gave a small shrug, "we're just... taking a small break."

Any other time James would have rejoiced, but not today. Today he wished Carlos was still being delusional about her perfection.

"What happened?"

"What always happens," Carlos shrugged. "When you got back from Canada, I spent too much of my time hanging with you and she got mad. So I told her maybe we needed a break. I don't think she liked that very much." His eyes were wide.

"What makes you say that?"

"She started throwing olives at me."

"Black or green?"

"Green!" he exclaimed.

"Ew."

"Exactly!"

"Are you sure she's still mad? Maybe you should talk to her? I've been back a couple days now. I won't be mad if you want to spend the day with her," James really didn't like the girl and felt badly about pushing Carlos in her direction again, but he _really_ needed to tell Katie how he felt about her…and he was going to need plenty of alone time to do it.

"Maybe I _will_ go see her," Carlos said, nodding his head, suddenly acting like that was the best idea in the world. "Thanks, James!" And he ran off to call his 'little Rosie'.

_Guilty!_ James winced, but wasted no time in texting Katie the good news. Well, it was good news to him.

* * *

"I'm here," Katie said as she walked into the apartment, tossing her purse on the counter. "What is this thing you need to talk about so badly!"

"Not out here," he said. "Let's go to your room."

"No one's home to hear! Just come out with it!" Katie insisted.

"But Carlos could come back if Rosie won't forgive him," he pointed out.

"Then…" she seemed nervous about something, "your room."

James raised an eyebrow. "Where do you think Carlos will go when he comes home?"

"Then lock the door!" she snapped.

What was with her? And why couldn't they just go to her room? They always had before. They would stay up late talking and cuddling on her bedspread. It was one of his most favorite places in the world. Which was probably why she didn't want him there.

"Fine," he said with a sigh. He let out a breath of relief when she followed him to his room.

She walked in and stood in the middle of the room while he closed the door and locked it with an exaggerated turn.

She rolled her eyes. Her arms were crossed in front of her and a toe was tapping the floor.

He cleared his throat and finally…

"I love you," James began. "I didn't mean what I said..."

The toe tapping stopped.

"I missed you so much," he continued. "I don't know how things got so messed up before I left… but I know I still want to be with you. And I'd choose you over Kendall in a heartbeat."

Her eyes were so big, he felt like he could fall into them if he took even one tiny step.

"James…" she whispered.

He started to worry when he realized her eyes looked a little glassy.

"Please don't cry," he said, rushing up to her. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me?"

She stared up at him before laying her face against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as tightly as he could. He felt badly when she started crying, but at least she wrapped her arms around him too. She may not have been happy with him, but she seemed to be forgiving him.

He thought she might stop soon, but she didn't. If anything, her sobs grew louder. And then she was leaning so much against him, he started losing his balance. He managed to maneuver them so they were sitting at the foot of his bed. They readjusted and she kept crying into his chest.

He really must have destroyed her when they broke up. He never should have told her that Kendall was more important to him. He never should have snuck around with her to begin with. He should have been upfront about it. He should have done everything he could to be with her.

"I'm sorry," he murmured again.

She shook her head and a louder sob came out at his words before returning to her original volume.

Maybe he shouldn't say anything else until she settled down.

Some time later she seemed to finally calm down to the occasional hiccup. He couldn't believe she had that much in her.

She eventually looked up at him. She seemed to be embarrassed at her outburst.

He smiled reassuringly. He wanted, no _needed_, her to know how truly sorry he was. How much he was ready to do anything just to make her happy.

"I want _you_, Katie," he whispered. "Only you."

His lips met hers before she could say anything else. She seemed a little hesitant at first, but eventually gave in to his gentle kisses.

He went slowly, just kissing her and running his fingers through her hair. He would have continued that way, but she seemed to get a burst of energy from somewhere.

Suddenly _she_ was sliding her tongue into his mouth. Suddenly _she_ was desperately attacking him with her lips and body. Suddenly _she_ was pulling him down with her to the mattress. Suddenly _she_ was taking control.

He guessed he was forgiven.

* * *

_Or not_.

He couldn't believe they had finally done it. But, man was he happy.

Everything about her made him happy. From the way she laughed, got snippy with him, put her hand on her hip when annoyed, constantly had something devious going on in that mind of hers, to the way she giggled when he did something silly, kissed him like he was the only person in the world, and gave everything she had to give to him without a second thought.

He was so glad he didn't hurt her too much when he finally slid inside of her. He knew it was her first time, so he tried to make it easy. He didn't have to worry because instead of pain, she just seemed to enjoy the entire experience… _very_ much.

That was why, when he found himself lying on his bed holding her tightly, she completely glued against him, both of them still recovering from what transpired moments ago, that he couldn't hold back his final present to her and whispered:

"I'm going to tell Kendall."

She stiffened against him.

"I meant it when I said I want to be with you," he whispered. "No more lying. No more sneaking around. Everyone will know that James Diamond is hopelessly in love with Katie Knight. I promise." He shifted, reaching for a tissue.

She turned in his arms, looking at him with those huge eyes again.

"What's wrong?" he asked. _Was she going to cry _again_?_ He slid the tissue under his sheets, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

She shook her head. "Please, don't."

He frowned and he stopped his movements. "Don't, what?"

"Tell Kendall," she whispered.

He stared at her in disbelief.

"But…"

"_Please_, James," she begged. "_Please_ don't tell Kendall."

"I don't get you," he said, pulling away. He lifted the blanket and finally used the tissue to pull off the condom he hadn't even gotten the chance to remove yet. He vaguely noticed that it might have leaked a little, but he was too frustrated at what he was hearing for that information to register in his mind.

He tossed it in the trash can next to his bed before grabbing his jeans and pulling them on without bothering with underclothing. He was getting a little angry.

"I thought that was what you wanted," he said, completely flabbergasted.

"I… I _did_," she explained. "But now I don't."

"So, what?" he asked. "You expect me to just keep _everything_ a secret? Katie, I don't want to _sleep_ with you behind Kendall's back! Its one thing to talk and kiss, but we just had sex!"

"I know," she whispered sadly.

_Sadly? What was she so sad about?_

"Don't tell me you regret doing it," James said in disbelief.

"I don't regret it," she said.

"Then start making sense! Stop changing your mind! You're driving me crazy!" James couldn't believe this. She knew he didn't want to sleep with her when they were sneaking behind Kendall's back. She had been the one to insist that they _tell_ Kendall so that they _could_ be together. He was giving her what she wanted. And now she wanted to change the rules? Why was she doing this to him? Didn't she understand that things just couldn't go on this way?

James gave up, giving in to the craziness and anger he was feeling. He threw his hands in the air.

"I can't take any more of this! How about you figure out _exactly_ what you want from me and _then_ let me know," James exclaimed. "And I'll let you know if I can live with it!"

"James…" she said. Her eyes were wide again.

"Not like this, Katie," he said as he grabbed his shirt. "Just…no."

And then he left.

* * *

He thought she would come to him soon after their argument.

But she didn't.

He decided that she would definitely come to him before Kendall got back from South Carolina.

But she didn't.

Logan had extended his stay in New York for almost the entire month of February. He told the guys that he was having fun in the city, visiting the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Ground Zero, Rockefeller Center, Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame, Madame Tussauds'—even sending a picture on his phone to all the guys of him posing with Albert Einstein. Logan was always playing the 'tourist' so none of the other guys thought his behavior was weird except James who had witnessed his uncharacteristic behavior before he left. Logan kept to his word, though, and returned from his trip a mere two days before they had to load up the tour bus. James thought Katie would come to him before Logan came back, or before they left for tour.

But she didn't.

James went through the motions that first month on tour. Every day he worked with the band and he worked on his training for the new movie. He did all he could to avoid Katie but inside he kept hoping she would just get over whatever her problem was and come talk to him.

But she didn't.

When Logan blew up at Gustavo one day because the man had extended the tour to mid-September, booking at least ten extra shows, James thought he finally knew what had been bugging Logan. After all, Logan was the one who wanted to leave the Palm Woods. James just figured Logan had been looking forward to living in one of the dorms on campus. But with most of September booked, Logan was being forced to give that up _and_ his new class schedule for the fall—he had to rush around putting together an online only schedule at the last minute. Logan's contract was up at the end of the year, so unless Gustavo stopped messing with him, James had a sneaking suspicion that Logan wouldn't be renewing…or, at the very least, changing the terms of his contract drastically.

And Katie still didn't come to him.

March passed in a blur of activity. No one really noticed that Logan and James didn't seem to be having as much fun on this tour. They made all their marks, never missed a note, but neither of them shined like they always had before.

Mid-April, around the time normal high school students would be on spring break, Mrs. Knight and Katie dropped a bombshell.

Katie was tired of being on the road. She had talked to her mother about going back to Minnesota to stay with her father.

Kendall was upset, but after Katie explained that she missed being a normal teen, he came around. Not that he thought it would be a good idea for her to stay with their father, but he wanted her to be happy.

Mrs. Knight seemed like she didn't completely agree with Katie's decision. Everyone got the feeling that she would rather be with Katie than on tour with them. But Katie was insistent that she stay and take care of the boys. She said she would be fine. She wanted a chance to reconnect with the father she had barely seen in the last ten years.

James tried to talk to her, not wanting her to leave without settling things between them, but she just shook her head sadly, not allowing him time alone with her and not responding to any of his text messages.

He watched her go. Then he threw himself even more headlong into his work. Trying everything he could to put her out of his mind, he still wrestled with the thought that he would track her down after the tour and get to the bottom of things.

Then, in mid-August, he finally received a text from her. She wanted to meet him after the tour. He tried to convince her to let him see her then—even going as far to say he would hop a plane and be there the next day. She told him not to do that. She wanted to wait until the tour was over.

He was so relieved. He attacked his next performance two days later with the same shining joy he had always felt before his recent troubles.

He felt as though his joy was infectious because even Logan seemed to be in better spirits, doing extra flips and whooping whenever he got the chance.

He got off stage feeling better about him self than he had in the past seven months.

…

Then Kelly arrived with papers and a message.

And everything seemed to spiral out of control from there.

And now, as he sat, staring in horror between his two best friends—the one he had betrayed, and the one who had betrayed him—he felt like his world was caving in.

The scream came.

That was when Kendall finally lost it.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part I: Chapter 4 –Exciting conclusion to Part I of Big Time Demise._


	5. Pt I: Ch 4 Kendall, Carlos, & The Truth

I own nothing.

* * *

PART ONE: Chapter 4

* * *

After screaming at his parents to tell him what 'the hell' was going on and finally realizing what section of the hospital he was in, Kendall's mouth had dropped open in complete shock.

He started yelling at his parents in complete denial, not even giving them a chance to explain anything.

"Katie couldn't have had a _baby_ without me knowing about it! She couldn't have had _sex_ without me knowing about it! She's sixteen years old! I didn't even have sex until I was eighteen! No, absolutely not, there is _no_ way one of those babies is hers! She wouldn't do that!"

He didn't care that he was telling his parents about his sexual history. All he cared about was convincing them that they had to be wrong—he didn't think about how illogical he was being. He didn't care. _There was no way._

Judy was sobbing, completely unable to respond to her son's outburst. She knew more about Katie's current condition than Kendall, having arrived shortly before Kendall and the boys.

As soon as she received word from her ex-husband that Katie was in the hospital, she dropped everything and headed for the airport. She couldn't stand to stay and wait for Kendall. All she could do was call Kelly, explain the situation as best she could, and hope that he would be following her shortly. She knew she probably _should_ have waited, but her baby was in trouble and needed her. She wanted to curse Bill for not telling her what was wrong on the phone. Apparently her ex had promised Katie that he wouldn't tell _anyone_. So she had to wait until she arrived at the hospital for a doctor to tell her the pertinent details. She knew Bill wasn't taking things well. He seemed to still be in shock over how terribly everything was playing out. But the anger and grief she felt had exploded out of her, calling him all kinds of a fool. It really was his fault. He should have told her that their baby was having a baby!

"This is all your fault!" she screamed at him again, not able to get past the role he played in this.

Bill didn't know what he could do to console his ex-wife. He knew she was right. And since he'd had longer to absorb the information and was basically walking around in a state of numbness already, he decided to respond to his son instead of Judy's accusation.

"Katie didn't tell anyone about it. She didn't want anyone to know. She made me promise not to say anything. And, I…" his voice broke before he collected himself, "I had to do this for her. All her life, she's never needed me. And I've never been there for her. But this time, she needed me. I couldn't… go back on my word. I felt as though I owed her that."

"You can't be serious!" Kendall shouted. He drew the notice of some nurses, one of which told him he needed to settle down or he would have to leave.

He wanted to keep shouting, but he didn't want to get kicked out.

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!" Kendall said threw his teeth, trying to control his voice. "She didn't need _you_! She's _never_ needed _you_! _I_ don't even need you! What you should have done was tell us! _We're_ her real family!"

"And now she's going to die!" his mom moaned.

"Wait, what?" Kendall yanked his head toward his mother. "People don't die in childbirth anymore. It's a baby, not cancer. I know Dad acted like it was the end of the world on the phone, but she's going to be okay, right?"

In all the commotion to get to the truth, he had forgotten the phone call with his father. His Dad said… Katie probably wasn't going to make it.

His heart stopped for a split second.

"She's going to be _okay, right_?" his voice was small, insisting that someone—anyone—tell him Katie was fine.

His mother started crying again.

"She had the baby two days ago… everything was fine with her," Bill said softly. "The baby was very early so it's in some trouble…don't know if it will be okay. We hadn't found an adoptive family yet, so I don't know what's going to happen with the baby. And Katie had some difficulties during the pregnancy, but the doctor told her what to do and I made sure she did everything she was supposed to."

"So she's okay?" Kendall asked, knowing there was more his Father hadn't said.

"She wasn't allowed to move until today," Bill absentmindedly looked at the clock, saw that it was almost five in the morning and corrected, "well yesterday. She was being transferred to a wheelchair so they could take her to see the baby. It's been in an incubator and the doctors said it shouldn't be moved. When they were moving her, something happened."

Kendall held his breath.

"The doctors said that must have been when a blood clot dislodged and moved, traveling straight to her lungs," Bill whispered, pressing his hands to the side of his head. "It all happened so fast. She passed out. They tried to revive her, but ended up having to rush her to surgery."

"It never would have happened if you had just _told_ me!" Judy moaned again.

Kendall didn't understand. "So, a blood clot, but can't they just remove it or something or…"

Bill shook his head. "It shut down her lungs. She's not breathing on her own. They've tried what they can to clear the passageway, but…"

Kendall shook his head again, still not able to believe the truth.

"She's not going to survive, son," Bill said morosely, reaching out to clasp Kendall's shoulder.

Kendall shook his hand off, glaring at his father. "I want to see her." His dad was wrong. He just _knew_ it. There was no way he was going to let his little sister die.

Bill nodded, "She's out of surgery now. But… prepare yourself."

Kendall just held up a hand, silently asking which way, and followed quickly when Bill started walking.

* * *

He blanched.

This was not the way he wanted to remember his sister.

She was lying, propped up, a tube down her throat that attached to a big white machine. She wasn't conscious. She was very pale. Her dark hair made her look even paler.

"Oh, God, Katie," he whispered, walking up to one side of the bed and sinking into the chair provided. "Why?"

He grabbed her hand. Not liking how cold it was, he looked around and saw a folded blue sheet on the counter by a cabinet.

He let go of her hand long enough to unfold the blanket and drape it over her as best he could, careful not to disturb anything.

His mother pulled a chair up to the other side of Katie, maneuvering around the big machine on that side of the bed that was pumping air into her daughter's lungs.

He could feel his chest swelling in pain and realized he had forgotten to breathe again. He forced himself to take a breath, feeling completely helpless.

All his life, no matter what problem came his way, he was always able to come up with a solution. And if things got a little sticky, Katie always offered the solution instead. She saved his butt far more than he would like to admit, but it was just how things had always been. They were always there for each other. They told each other everything. They went to each other for advice.

So why, when it came to the biggest event in her life, did she not involve him? Didn't she know he would have been there for her? Didn't she know he would have given up everything to help her?

He felt a tear spill out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't want to let go of her hand to wipe it away.

He was just settling in, ready to stay the entire night, completely forgetting about his friends waiting for him to return, when a strange beeping started.

He looked at the machines, afraid of what that meant.

A doctor and some nurses rushed into the room, telling them to leave. They closed the curtain on the window to the unit, and Kendall stood unmoving, just waiting.

While waiting, he could hear his mother mumbling to herself, she seemed to be raging at the senselessness of it all. How Katie had some hereditary condition that the doctors could have taken care of _easily_ if only they knew it ran in the family. He tuned her out. He only wanted to hear that his sister was alive.

A doctor finally returned and said she was stabilized for now, but it would be best if no one disturbed the room for a few hours, something about keeping the room as sterile as possible.

Kendall watched his sister through the window after a nurse pulled back the curtain. When he could stand there no longer—the need to be next to her so strong that he was ready to bust into the room and _damn_ the doctors anyway—he remembered his friends waiting for him.

He decided to go to them. He knew they cared about her like a sister too. They were going to be devastated by the news.

When he exited the big security doors and saw his friends, he lost his train of thought. His mind shut down and he stood unmoving.

Carlos came to him and took his arm, leading him to a chair across from the other two.

He sat down. He didn't focus on anything or anyone. He couldn't. It seemed like everything was finally hitting him at once.

He heard Carlos' questions, but was unable to respond.

Carlos finally stopped talking.

Kendall eventually found the words and began to explain.

The numbness he was feeling started to dissipate when Carlos asked about the baby. Anger shot through him.

"I don't know and I don't care," Kendall said.

"Kendall, it's just a baby…" Carlos said softly.

"_No_, it's not!" Kendall growled. "That _thing_ probably killed my sister! It probably won't even survive! It came two months early! What was the point! And now she's never going to wake up! She's never going to be able to breathe again on her own! I wish that _thing_ didn't exist!"

"You can't mean that…" Carlos said. "Don't take it out on an innocent baby."

"Oh, don't worry," Kendall said, anger growing to a hot rage. "I'm not _just_ going to take it out on _it_! My dad kept it a complete secret from all of us! Said _Katie_ didn't want anyone to know. Said _Katie_ wanted to give it up and didn't want anyone to know about it at all. _Katie_ didn't want it either! God knows why she didn't just get rid of it!

"But most of all, I blame that worthless piece of crap who got my baby sister _pregnant!_ If I ever find out who…" His breath came out in an angry huff. He looked at the faces of his best friends surrounding him.

"Late January, early February. I was visiting Jo. She was filming in South Carolina," Kendall said slowly. "You guys were all around the apartment at one time or other. Did any of you notice her talking to anyone? Dating anyone?"

"No man, I didn't see her with anyone," Carlos shook his head.

Logan and James didn't say anything, so Kendall assumed they didn't either.

"Then who is the father?" Kendall asked helplessly, dropping his head into his hands, feeling defeated.

"I am."

Kendall froze. He slowly looked up. He wasn't sure he'd heard properly, but if he had…

He had definitely heard James and Logan's voices at the same time.

He looked at both of them in horror. _His best friends?_

He saw James and Logan look at each other, clearly as surprised by the news as Kendall.

Then he heard a loud anguished scream from his mother that even the huge security doors couldn't block, followed by a chorus of "No!"s

And everything inside of him exploded because he knew that meant Katie was gone.

He leaped to his feet and went for both of the guys sitting across from him.

James was closest. He tried to put his arms up to block the blows, but it did nothing to stop Kendall's rage.

James cried, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" James tried to push Kendall back enough so he could get up from his chair and move, but Kendall was out of control.

Kendall wasn't thinking about anything but hurting them as much as he was hurting. One of James' side pushes made him change direction and he saw the other object of his betrayal.

He started swinging at Logan, who had his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He had pulled them up in his chair against his chest. Logan was in a _very_ real state of shock. He wouldn't have done anything to protect himself from Kendall.

Suddenly, Kendall was being dragged backward away from his prey.

Carlos wrapped his arms completely around his middle, holding as tight as he could, practically lifting Kendall off his feet.

Kendall kicked out his legs, his hands tearing at Carlos' arms. "_Get off of me!_" He roared.

Carlos held on, not caring that his arms were taking a vicious beating. He could feel his grip loosening so he shouted toward the security guard who had already left his desk and was racing toward them. "Help me!"

Carlos was leaning backward, pulling, and ended up on the floor with Kendall in his lap. Kendall was still kicking, tears of rage mixing with his shouts.

James tried to help Carlos too, but that only made Kendall's fury abound as he tried to reach out and kick toward him at the same time.

"Get away, James!" Carlos shouted at him.

James backpedaled, looking lost and sorrowful, sporting a split lip. One of his eyelids was already starting to swell and his nose was bleeding.

The security officer was trying to find a way to grab the flailing guy from his friend but every time he tried, he received a hard kick or punch. The young man was very strong. He didn't know how the other was keeping hold of him.

He spoke quickly into his walkie-talkie.

The officer then dove on top of Kendall, wrestling him flat, trying to hold each limb pressed to the ground.

Kendall started hollering at the top of his lungs. "_Let me go! Let me go! I hate you! I hate you!_"

A nurse and two other security officers ran into the lobby. The nurse pulled the top off a needle and quickly injected Kendall with a sedative.

"_Ow!_" Kendall cried. "Let me go! Let me go!"

But his struggles were lessening as the drug worked its way into his system.

"I hate you," Kendall's voice grew smaller. His eyes were on James and Logan, going back and forth. "I hate you both…" and everything faded to black.

* * *

As Kendall's body went limp in his arms, Carlos laid back, panting from exertion.

The lobby was quiet, everyone in various states of shock or relief.

Carlos felt Kendall being lifted off of him and he quickly jumped to his feet.

Another nurse had just arrived with a stretcher. The security officers laid Kendall on it before dispersing back to their posts.

Carlos saw the nurse starting to push Kendall toward the elevators. "Wait!"

"We're taking your friend to a room," she explained. "He needs to sleep it off."

"Can't he please stay up here?" Carlos asked.

"Not really," she said with a look at the Maternity sign. "They don't usually have male patients on this floor."

"But, if he's just going to be sleeping," Carlos insisted. "Please? His sister is in there."

"It's not really—"

"_Please?_" Carlos begged, giving his saddest expression.

The nurse gave in. "As long as there's space available."

"Thank you," Carlos said, giving her a small smile.

"You might want to check on your other friends while I see to this one," she said.

Carlos finally looked at James and Logan.

James was sitting in a chair across from Logan with his head laid back. The nurse who gave Kendall the sedative had gotten a cold compress for him. James was holding it to his eye with one hand, while the other hand held a very bloody cloth to his nose. The blood on his lip had been wiped away too.

Logan hadn't moved from his position except now he was rocking back and forth. He looked like he was reliving his worst nightmare over and over again.

Carlos walked over and sat next to Logan.

"Logan?" he asked. "Can you hear me?"

He breathed a sigh of relief when Logan slowly nodded.

"So you know what I'm saying? And you know what's going on?" he asked.

Logan nodded again.

"Then will both of you tell _me_ what in the world is going on!" he snapped.

James looked up, and Logan stopped rocking.

"Did you both… I mean, _really_?" Carlos couldn't believe everything that he had learned. "_Katie_? How _could_ you guys _do_ that!"

"I… I…" Logan stuttered. "It… it just happened."

"Things like that don't just happen!" James retorted.

Carlos looked at James in disbelief. "Then how do you explain…?"

James closed his eyes, "Because we were going out."

Carlos noticed Logan's breath hitch. He looked at him, worried he would start hyperventilating or something. Logan hadn't done that in years.

"Going out?" Carlos asked, perplexed.

"Since last year," James sighed. "We kept it a secret from everyone."

"So how did Logan..."

"We broke up before I left for Canada," James opened his bloodshot eyes and looked at Logan. "Is that when…?"

Logan nodded.

"Christ," James said. "If it weren't for the fact that you didn't know, I would so kill you right now."

Logan didn't know what to say to that.

Silence descended on the group.

"Do you think… is she…," Logan whispered, "okay?"

Carlos was getting ready to go find that out when Bill Knight came through the doors. The man was a shell of a person. When Carlos looked in his eyes, he saw emptiness.

"Mr. Knight?" Carlos stood up, still the only one in the group able to do that without groaning. "How's Katie?"

The man started to shake his head. Carlos could feel his own legs shaking.

"Mr. Knight?" Carlos asked again, needing to hear the words.

"She's gone," he finally managed to say.

"_No!_" James shouted, standing up, the compress and towel falling at his feet. "That's not possible!"

Logan was shaking. He knew as soon as Kendall explained the details of Katie's condition that this was going to happen. The only thing Mr. Knight had done was confirm what he already knew.

"I'm sorry," Bill said to everyone and no one at the same time. "I'm so sorry." He sat down.

"It's not true!" James insisted. "Not true! I don't believe it! I'm going back there! I'm gonna—"

"James," Carlos said, grabbing his wrist. "Stop, James. Stop." Carlos could feel his own tears rising. It was only a matter of time, but he needed to help his friend before he could give in. "She's gone… she's gone."

"She can't be gone," James said, his legs going weak. "It's _Katie! _I love her. She can't be..."

Carlos pulled James into a tight embrace. After a small halfhearted struggle, James finally broke down. His shoulders started shaking. His sobs came out in dry heaves.

Logan's shaking had dissolved into tears too. He buried his head into his knees. "Katie," he moaned.

Nothing but the sounds of grief could be heard through out the lobby as the young men accepted the truth.

Katie was gone.

* * *

Carlos had no idea what they were supposed to do now.

Katie was gone. Kendall was sleeping off a monster sedative. Mrs. Knight was somewhere in the maternity ward—probably in need of a sedative of her own. Mr. Knight, Logan, and James were lost in their own thoughts. The sobs had subsided a while ago. Now they just looked like hell.

And Carlos was worried about Kendall. He wondered how much longer the sedative would be in his system. Carlos didn't want Kendall to wake up alone and he seemed to be the only one fit or capable of the job.

But Carlos also had another worry. He hadn't heard anyone say anything about it, but he knew sooner or later someone was going to have to ask the question.

Mr. Knight seemed to finally realize something and he lifted his head to stare hard at James.

"Are you the father?" he asked harshly, remembering the way James had insisted that he loved Katie.

James looked to Logan before admitting softly, "I don't know."

Mr. Knight frowned in confusion.

Carlos sighed, "Its one of them." He might as well tell the man the truth. There had been enough lying lately to last a lifetime.

Mr. Knight looked from boy to boy. "So that's why…"

"Why what?" James asked.

"Anytime I asked her she always said she couldn't tell me," he said. "I just thought she didn't want anyone to know… but she didn't know either, did she?"

Carlos quickly defended her. "I'm sure she had her reasons for doing what she did. She's not… she wasn't _that_ type of girl."

"Don't tell me about my daughter," Mr. Knight snapped. "I _know_ she wasn't that type of girl. She just put her trust in the wrong people."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James snapped right back.

"I believe that I am accusing _you_ of taking advantage of my daughter," he said. "Both of you! Supposed to be my son's best friends? What's wrong with you?"

James looked like he had just been slapped.

Even Logan was angry. His feet dropped to the floor and his hands gripped the arms of his chair.

"Alright," Carlos put his arms out, trying to stop another fight. "You're upset and looking for someone to blame. Everyone's upset. Everything's messed up. Just calm down!"

Mr. Knight shook his head. He knew Carlos was right. He knew he was looking for anyone to blame other than himself. But if he stopped too long to think about his own stupid actions, he couldn't live with himself. So he decided blaming the boy who knocked up his daughter was better than blaming himself.

"I'll be back later," he murmured, standing up and heading for the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator.

Carlos was relieved to be rid of one hostile male. Now he just had to deal with two more.

"But he brought up a good point," Carlos said, turning to the other two.

"I did not—" Logan started to deny taking advantage of her.

"Hey!" James yelped at the same time.

"Not that," Carlos winced, raising his arms to ward off any possible attacks.

"Who is the father?" Carlos asked. "I mean, did both of you use protection?"

"Yes!" they both said automatically.

Something about their response didn't sit well.

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "No more lies guys."

Both of them shifted in their seats. Neither wanted to admit to being the father because that meant… they were the one responsible for Katie's death.

Carlos eyed both of them. "Because I don't think we'd be here if both of you had."

James looked skyward and finally admitted, "the condom broke." Now that he really thought about it, he did remember it was leaking when he removed it. He had just been too angry to realize.

"So it's yours," Carlos said, nodding.

"No," Logan said. He didn't want to admit that he might be the one responsible, but he also realized… if the baby was his… it was the only part of Katie left in this world. He couldn't let James be the only one to have that piece of her.

"No?" Carlos asked.

James looked to Logan. "No?"

Logan clenched his lips together before admitting, "No… I didn't use anything."

Both guys glared at him.

"It's not like I planned it!" Logan defended himself. "She said she was on the pill! And I pulled out! Or at least I tried to!" He flushed bright red at his own words.

"If she was on the pill, she must have started right before I left," James thought, trying to remember. "She kept wanting to, but I didn't want… it was too soon and Kendall…"

"But you left right before…" Logan started, thinking. "That's not enough time for most birth control to kick in. She needs to be on it for at least a month."

"Well, I guess she didn't know that," James said sarcastically. "Maybe you should have told her, Mr. Knows-Everything-About-Everything-Including-Female-Birth-Control!"

"Hey!" Carlos exclaimed. "Chill!"

Logan and James glared at each other but stopped arguing.

"So we have no idea who the father is," Carlos said. "I guess you'll just have to do a paternity test."

Both guys squirmed.

"Does anyone even know if it's a boy or girl?" Carlos asked, trying to remember if Mr. Knight or Kendall had said anything.

"No…" both boys shook their head.

"Well, maybe we should find out," Carlos suggested. "And maybe we should actually go see it? Maybe it'll look like one of you."

"Uh… you go," James said quickly to Carlos. He was scared. He didn't know anything about babies. Plus, he didn't know if he could look at it. He didn't want to be the father, but he didn't want Logan to be either. If he looked at the baby and all he could see was Logan, he knew he might vomit.

"Yeah, you go," Logan agreed. He knew there was a stronger possibility that it was his, but he was too vulnerable at the moment to see the baby. If he saw it and it looked like Katie, he would be reduced to tears again. He wasn't strong enough to see it just yet.

"For real?" Carlos shook his head, not believing they were acting this way.

The guys nodded.

"Fine, I'll go," Carlos said. "Then I'm going to see Kendall. I'll text you if he's awake, cause I'm gonna stay with him."

"Okay… and…" Logan looked hopefully at Carlos.

"And I'll let you know as soon as I see the baby who it looks like," Carlos reassured.

* * *

She was beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

She was so tiny.

He counted her fingers and toes through the glass. He remembered his own Mama doing that after giving birth to one of his younger siblings.

Ten and ten.

All there.

But so fragile.

He smiled down at the sleeping infant, wishing he could hold her. He wished Katie had gotten the chance to hold her too.

He looked over her features but absolutely nothing gave away the identity of her father. She was a Knight, through and through.

She scrunched her face before it relaxed again.

He grinned.

He had seen that look before.

He grew up spending a lot of his time in the Knight's living room. And Mrs. Knight always had baby's first pictures of Kendall and Katie on the walls until Kendall finally begged her to take his down. But Carlos would never forget Kendall's. His face had been scrunched up, like even then he was trying to figure out how to get out of taking the picture.

Between that and the little blonde fuzz on her head, the baby looked more like her uncle than anyone else.

"Are you the father?"

Carlos jumped. He turned around, stammering. He was too startled to give a coherent response.

"I, uh," he responded to the young nurse who interrupted his musings. He couldn't seem to deny or agree with her, and he nearly laughed. He was amused that she thought this blonde baby was his.

"Good," she said, assuming he was the father and just too nervous to respond. Why else would a guy his age be in a maternity ward looking at a baby? "Could you please fill this out?" she gave him a form and a pen.

"Um, uh, yeah," Carlos stammered, looking at the birth certificate form. "Why?"

"Since she didn't finish filling it out, with the mother gone, we need that form filled out by the father or we'll have to turn her over to social services until the matter of her guardianship can be addressed. It can get messy with grandparents and other relatives involved. It would really be best if you could fill that out and be here to take her home once she's well enough to leave."

"I… okay," Carlos said. His palms were starting to sweat. "When will that be? When can she go home?"

"When she's strong enough," the nurse explained. "And not a moment sooner."

"So, she's going to be okay?" Carlos asked. "Cuz I heard…"

"She was _very_ early, but her heart's strong," the nurse answered. "And her lungs have already started to improve after two days. It was worrisome at first, but she should be okay."

"Thank you," Carlos said, relieved at least one good thing had come out of this craziness.

"Just turn that in to the nurse's station before you leave," she instructed.

"Okay."

He looked over the form.

**Mother.** Katie had already written Kate Knight.

The date of birth had been filled out too. August 22, 2014.

**Father.**

Carlos looked at the baby.

He didn't know which one …but he couldn't let the baby's guardianship be tied up in court. The baby needed a father listed. Neither James nor Logan acted to him like they wanted to actually _be_ the father.

So who should he write?

As he scribbled a name in the box, he silently wished Kendall was there to help him.

He sighed and looked at the next question.

**First Name. Middle Name. Last Name.**

He looked at the baby again.

He quickly scribbled in the boxes before he could change his mind.

He figured they could always change it later.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part II._


	6. Pt II: Ch 1 Fifteen Years Later, Alex

I own nothing.

* * *

PART TWO: Chapter 1

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_I slept with Logan last night._

_I'm not sure what made me do it. I just wanted to be held and loved and… I had offered everything to James and he wouldn't take it. I kept thinking that maybe he never did love me. Obviously he didn't love me enough to risk his friendship with Kendall…and maybe I shouldn't have asked him to… but if he really did love me, why wouldn't he take that chance?_

_He just made me so mad by choosing Kendall over me! I hate to say it, but maybe that's also why I slept with Logan. Maybe a small part of me wanted to get back at James for not loving me enough. Of course, we already broke up so it shouldn't matter to James who I mess around with… except… I was the one who broke up with him. I was the one who sent him away every time he tried to talk to me before he had to leave for Canada. I was the one who shut him down… And if he really __does__ love me, then he's going to be so devastated if he ever finds out what me and Logan did._

_I just wasn't thinking clearly! I missed him and I wanted to be close to someone. I know I surprised Logan. I doubt he ever thought of me that way before, and I honestly had never thought of him like that either. But being in Logan's arms, something made me beg him to stay. My virginity was supposed to be James' but he wouldn't take it. And with me and James over, I was afraid I would never find someone to cherish me the way James would have, and I guess some part of my mind realized that Logan was perfect. And Logan was. He did everything right. It had been the most perfect first time a girl could ask for…except it wasn't with the person I love._

_God, I was so selfish. I never once thought about Logan's feelings._

_Ironic how in one night he was offering me everything I ever wanted from James. He didn't hesitate. He made me breakfast then volunteered to fly to SC to tell Kendall. He didn't proclaim any feelings of love…but I knew Logan. Even before he said it, I knew he didn't take what we had done lightly. I'm not even sure if he had ever done it before. It was my first time, so I couldn't tell the difference. _

_I saw the light go out of his eyes when I told him that I loved someone else. I nearly changed my mind. If it had been anyone else, anyone but one of James' best friends, I would have given in, given him a chance._

_But I couldn't do that to them._

_And now Logan is so upset with me. He left the apartment for most of the day and when he came back, he went straight to his room. I don't know if he's ever going to talk to me again._

_I'm such a horrible person and I don't know how to fix this. I wish I could go to Kendall. He knows how to fix everything. But I can't. How did everything get so messed up?_

_Katie_

* * *

Carlita Alexandria Katerina Diamond-Mitchell was running for her life.

She knew her pursuers would be on her any minute and pumped her legs faster.

When she was close enough to her target, she skidded to a sudden stop, sideways, on the edge of her blades, spraying ice everywhere.

"_Alex!_"

She knew that voice. _Crap!_ Of all the days for her Dad to decide to pick her up from practice, he chose _today_. She was going to be in so much trouble.

She almost looked in the direction of his voice, but then remembered what she was doing. She peeked at the five guys in complete hockey gear speeding straight for her, much closer than she wanted them to be.

She made a split second decision and used her stick to slap the puck into the empty goal.

She really should have dove for cover instead.

"Hmph!" she groaned as all five of the guys smashed into her.

She ended up on her back, bodies piled on top of her, staring at the big dome in the ceiling, wondering when they had let all the pretty pretty birds in.

* * *

"Alex!" Logan, heart pounding, jumped over the rink side and went sliding in his loafers across the ice.

One of the guys was already helping her to her feet before he was halfway there. Logan could hear the boys around her saying "Nice one" and "Are you okay?" At least some boys in Minnesota still knew their manners…even though all five of them had just pulverized his daughter. At least they hadn't checked her into the wall. Heads would've been rolling then.

"I'm fine," she said quickly when she saw him. "Really, Dad, don't worry. That's what the padding is for."

"Are you sure," Logan said, quickly checking her over for any damage. He wasn't a doctor for nothing. "Maybe we should go get an x-ray or—"

"I'm fine!" she exclaimed. "It wouldn't have happened at all if you hadn't distracted me." She was glad to see the boys were leaving them alone. They were probably hoping to avoid the wrath of her father—though he really wasn't all _that_ fierce.

She started skating toward the exit.

Logan frowned, following her as best he could in his shoes, "It wouldn't have happened at all if you hadn't been playing. How many times do we have to tell you? It's too dangerous playing hockey with the guys!"

She rolled her eyes where he couldn't see. He was always so paranoid.

She exited the ice and sat on a bench to remove her skates.

Some of the girls on her team hollered "Go, Alex!" She pumped her stick in the air. She had definitely won them over by taking on the boys by herself and winning. She was cementing her place in this new school rather well.

"I had to," she explained, turning back to her father. "They were talking smack and—"

Actually, she was the one talking smack and had maneuvered herself into a little open-goal game with a few B team players. First side to score, won. It wasn't like she had played an entire game by herself. And she was in her element! Before she got the breakaway, _she_ had managed to check two of the guys and trip another one into his friend. She knew that Gage wasn't going to try to take her out—especially since he was too busy laughing his head off—so she'd left him alone, grabbed the puck and made a run for it.

"Alex!" Logan interrupted, pointing at her, his eyes doing his crazy wide eyed stare thing. "Do it again and you can say goodbye to your sweet sixteen party!"

"Fine!" she said taking off her hockey helmet and shaking out her long dark blonde tresses.

She smiled to herself. There was no way they were going to take away her party. They were more into planning it than she was. Besides, it was literally months away, at the end of summer. If anything else happened, she'd have plenty of time to fix it.

"Go get changed," he said, looking at his watch. "I thought you only had weight training today."

Hockey season was officially over, but at Central High School the training never stopped. That was why there was still hockey practice and training in the spring. The coaches didn't want anyone getting loose ankles in the off season. It was a generally accepted training regime in Minnesota where ice hockey was king.

So, yes, she was supposed to only have weight training today, but somehow ended up in her full gear anyway.

"Hot date?" she laughed at his impatience. She loved poking fun at her father. Growing up, she knew he had gone on some dates here and there, even dating a few women more than once, but nothing ever became serious.

He flushed. "No, just a lot of paperwork."

She saw his eyes flicker to the side and when she followed his gaze she nearly groaned. _Not again_.

Ever since she was little, he always seemed to take an extra interest in her teachers. It wasn't until she hit thirteen that she figured out why. He appreciated an educated woman, of course, but he also considered any teacher of Alex's _off-limits_. So basically, he was torturing himself—admiring from afar, but never taking a step to do anything about. She hadn't quite figured out why he liked to torture himself in that particular way, but she wished he would just find someone and be happy. He deserved it.

And when Alex followed his gaze to her new coach, who also happened to be her geometry teacher, she knew he was following his crazy rollercoaster again. He must have decided to show up to practice _just_ for a chance to see her coach.

"Isn't that what your secretary is for?" she pointed out, exasperated, standing up to her full height which was as tall as, if not taller than, most of the guys on the boys' team. She was even slightly taller than her Dad. They said she got that from her mother's side of the family along with her looks. Others thought that between her long legs, her wafer thin—if mostly sturdy—frame, and her height that she could be a model.

She mostly just thought it was a nuisance but gave her a distinct advantage on the ice.

"Just go change," he said, shooing her away.

"Sir, yes, sir!" she joked.

* * *

"Hey, Mitchell! I thought your _daddy_ was out of town," a voice from behind her said before she could reach the girls' locker room.

She looked back at Gage, the first new friend she had made after switching schools suddenly in March at the end of hockey season. It was now the end of May.

"It's _Diamond-_Mitchell," she said, furrowing her eyebrows. She had told him that on more than one occasion. Two years ago she would have welcomed his words, but not today.

"And he _is_ out of town," she finished.

"Then who was that?" Gage pulled his hockey helmet off, revealing his angular face and messy black hair. He was still in his full hockey gear.

"My dad," she said simply, smiling impishly. She waited for his response. Almost everyone thought the same thing.

"Then…" Gage furrowed his brows, _wait for it_. He widened his eyes. _He went there!_ "Oh… that's cool."

She burst out laughing. "Not gay."

Gage looked even more confused, "then…"

"Catch ya later, Gage," she winked, opening the door to the locker room, about to slip inside. She was used to keeping people guessing about her home life. It was definitely _not_ your everyday family, but it was hers.

"You _did _say you'd give me some pointers if we couldn't take you out," he pointed out quickly with a sly but hopeful grin. He was nowhere near the best on his team and ever since he found out how good she was—and _superior_ to his teammates—he'd wanted to pick her mind on technique. He didn't care that she was a girl. His hockey career was too important to him.

She paused and worried her bottom lip. She _had_ said that, even if it was in jest; and being her only real friend at this school—the rest were all acquaintances she wouldn't get close to for a million bucks—she felt badly about not helping him when she said she would. But that was before her Dad had shown up… _however, _she knew she was in for a two-fold lecture—one about playing with the boys, and possibly one about the importance of paperwork.

She scrunched her nose, thinking for a minute. "You know what, change and get your stuff. We'll work on it at my house." And hopefully put off the lectures indefinitely.

"Your house?" he asked, clearly surprised.

It was the first time she had invited him over. She probably shouldn't, but he had proven to be a somewhat adequate friend … and he _had_ held back so she could score on his teammates.

"Did I stutter?" she said with a wink. "And hurry up, will ya?"

* * *

Logan watched her walk away, cursing himself _again_ for overreacting.

But he couldn't help it. Five burly ice hockey players had been speeding out of control toward his fifteen year old daughter. She was wrong though. The padding may protect her from serious injury, but that didn't mean walking away completely unscathed. He used to play; he knew how much it hurt to be on the bottom of a pile-on.

He hadn't felt that frightened since the time she fell on vacation while skiing at the age of ten and broke her leg. He didn't know what was more traumatizing about the day—the fact that she had a compound fracture, or the fact that she lost so much blood she needed a transfusion.

Both he and James knew that could be the moment they found out who her real father was—something they still couldn't bring themselves to do after ten years—but in all the commotion, it didn't matter. They were too worried about her.

So they typed Alex's and James' blood—Logan already knew he was type O, the universal donor—and found out that Alex and James were type O too.

Fate had decided, once again, that it wouldn't reveal Alex's paternity that easily.

And he really needed to calm down. Things had been really weird with Alex lately. He knew something was going on and it hurt that she wouldn't talk to him about it, but he also knew that constantly freaking out wasn't going to help the situation.

Two months ago Alex had come to them announcing she wanted to switch schools. She insisted that she liked the hockey program at Central better than Edina, Central's rival school and her current high school. After everything she'd gone through with James two years ago, James had decided to give in to her request with_out_ consulting Logan.

Logan knew something was up immediately. First, Edina had won the most championships in the history of the state, so it was definitely the better school, _not _Central. Second, even though she was great at hockey, she only ever did it for fun. She would never have switched schools just because the team was better. And third, her best friends just so happened to _be_ on her team so why did she want to leave them behind? The house wasn't bursting at the seams with teenage girls anymore and that was _before_ the change in schools.

He wished James hadn't agreed, but he understood. James was just trying to make up for his mistakes.

Still, Logan wanted Alex to learn that she couldn't run away whenever something went wrong. Of course, until she talked to either of them about it, they were both at a loss to help her.

He saw her leaving the locker room area and heading toward him.

And then some lanky guy ran out behind her, tossing an arm around her shoulder and saying something to make her laugh before she pushed him away, still laughing.

Logan gulped, not liking this change in events. Alex had various crushes over the years, but she had still never been on a first date or had her first _real_ boyfriend. He hadn't heard her mention _anyone_ in the past two months, so who was this guy and why was he so chummy with Alex?

* * *

Alex was seriously regretting her decision to drag Gage along with her.

Not that her Dad had started his lectures, because he hadn't.

But he had taken one look at Gage before giving her the same look he had given her the first time she ever wore her favorite big bluish-gray beanie.

Until she asked her Uncle Carlos she couldn't understand why both of her dads could barely look at her whenever she wore it. She hadn't liked the answer then, and she was sure she wouldn't like the answer now. She almost threw her beanie away, but decided she wasn't going to let _that person_ dictate her life.

She did try to rotate her hats more for the sake of her dads though.

She didn't usually have a lot of male friends, so inviting one over was new for Dad. Maybe he thought there was more to it. She made a point of telling Dad that Gage was _just a friend,_ hoping that would put him at ease.

It didn't.

And now, she was sitting next to her father in his silver Mercedes while Gage sat quietly in the back seat. She couldn't wait until she was sixteen so she didn't have to be chauffeured everywhere.

"So, Mister, uh," Gage started speaking from the back seat before getting tripped up on the last name thing.

Alex winced. Obviously he hadn't gotten the silent message she had been using frantic brain waves to send him that said '_be quiet!'_

"_Doctor _Mitchell," Logan answered, glancing at the boy in the rearview mirror before focusing on the road again.

"Nice car," Gage finished, clearly showing signs of awkwardness.

Logan gave a grunt of acceptance, but barely spared him another look. He wanted to know everything about this boy, but he was trying hard not to overreact again. Why had he agreed to let the boy come with them? _Oh yeah_ because Alex hasn't invited one friend to the house in over two months.

He really wished it wasn't a boy though.

He pulled into the circular driveway of their home that was located in a very remote area, and came to a stop by the front door.

"This is your house?"

She heard Gage say the words in shock as he got out of the back seat. She was so used to her home she forgot most normal people didn't have anything nearly as extravagant.

She started to open her door but her father stopped her with a touch on the arm.

"Do you need me to take him home?"

"That's cool, Dr. M," Gage interjected, sticking his head back in the car. "My mom'll come get me later."

Alex shrugged, "Guess not." She hopped out of the car before her father could say anything else. "We'll be on the ice."

Logan just nodded, tight lipped. He waited for the kids to close the doors and drove forward under the connecting byway to park the car in the garage instead of leaving it in the driveway since he wouldn't be going out again that night.

He winced when he saw the familiar red Porsche sitting in its usual spot. That meant James was home early. James usually loved surprises. But he was sure Gage was one surprise James was _really_ going to hate.

* * *

She dragged him down the main hall, pointing at things along the way, careful not to let him dawdle too long.

"That's the den, my father's office, the dining room, the kitchen, the second dining room for the really _big_ dinners, the trophy room, one of the bathrooms, the other is down the hall that way, and here's where we're going," she spoke a mile a minute, not letting him stop until she opened the back door, dragging him through the mud room and off the porch.

"You have your own dome?" his mouth dropped open when he saw the building off to one side of her monstrous backyard—if one could call what he was seeing a _backyard_. He just thought they were going to pass the puck on the black top or something considering it was May and not the dead of winter.

"Dad thought it would be safer to get it installed instead of waiting for the pond down the road to freeze every year. He's extremely paranoid. But, this means I can skate all year long at my own house," she explained while starting the walk across the yard to the outdoor building. "Of course, they get a lot of use out of it too. They were squirts together, and kept playing all the way up 'til sophomore year."

"Mfamu," he mumbled as he followed her, at a loss for words. Then he found them. "So, why do you even bother going into town to practice? Just work-out here during the off-season."

"But I wouldn't get the chance to whoop your butts if I didn't go into town every once in a while," she explained with a smirk.

"You know I let you have that breakaway," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but I could have taken you," she said.

"You think so, huh?" he laughed.

"Yes," she said simply. "I'm faster and more skilled."

"But I'm stronger," he pointed out.

"Yes, cuz brute force is_ way_ better than speed and skill," she deadpanned.

"It doesn't hurt," he said.

"It does when I get the point and you're left with a big fat _zero_," she made the sign of a goose egg with her thumb and pointer finger. She grabbed the door handle and opened the door to her very own crystal wonderland.

"We'll see if you're still saying that when you're crashing into the boards," he mouthed off as he walked in behind her.

She stopped suddenly and he walked right into her.

"Little warning-" he started to say but was interrupted when she shouted.

"Daddy!" Alex ran and leaned forward over the rink wall, waving at the lone skater on the ice.

James skated toward her, smiling his megawatt smile until he noticed she had company. He stopped abruptly when he reached her, not really caring that he sprayed ice all over the tall lanky guy standing next to her.

Gage shook his head and shoulders, wiping his eyes. He was used to being sprayed. Alex dug in that hard too.

"Hi, sweetie," James said. He leaned over the wall and hugged her, smiling again when she hugged him back as hard as she could.

"You're home early!" she squealed before pausing and glaring. He got into trouble more often then he should. "Why? What happened?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "Just got finished earlier than expected." He looked at the boy standing next to her. He seemed a little wide-eyed. _Great_, James thought. This was why he tried to avoid being home whenever new people were around.

"You-you-you're-" the boy started to stutter.

Alex cut him off. "Daddy, we're going on the ice for a while, can we join you?"

"It's all yours," James said, skating to the exit. "Was just about done anyway." Actually, he had only been on the ice for fifteen minutes, but he would rather spend time with just her, not... whoever this new kid was. And it looked like he needed to have a very important conversation with Logan. Logan hadn't _once_ mentioned a new guy in Alex's life.

He changed out of his skates as Alex dragged the boy over to change into theirs.

He could hear him whisper, "Your other dad's _James_ Diamond?"

He guessed Alex still wasn't mentioning that to everyone she met. It didn't hurt as much as it used to since now she did it because it helped stop rumors in their tracks. Alex was one of his most closely guarded secrets. Only a trusted few in Hollywood knew that James Diamond had a daughter. Even _fewer _knew that he was raising her with his former band mate, turned doctor, Logan Mitchell. And, through some miracle, the identity of her mother had never been revealed to anyone outside the Knight family and the former members of Big Time Rush.

If Alex told anyone and everyone who her dads were and the tabloids got a hold of the story, the scandal would be outrageous and she would get no peace. He knew that if Alex had chosen to let this boy know some of the truth, then he must be somewhat trustworthy.

But it still didn't mean James had to like him.

* * *

"Would you chill out?" Alex said, slightly annoyed. She hadn't been expecting him to turn into a crazed fan in front of her eyes. She knew he would probably recognize him, but Gage had actually started _stuttering_.

"Yeah…" Gage looked at the departing back of the celebrity. "But _why_ doesn't anyone know about this?"

"Gee, I wonder," she looked skyward. "What could _possibly_ be the reason I don't want everyone to know my father is this generation's version of Brad Pitt?"

"But it's just so cool!" Gage exclaimed, still somewhat star struck.

"I would have never brought you here if I knew he was home," she snapped before stepping on the ice. "Can we just get this over with? Or would you rather just call your _mommy_ now?"

She was mad about the entire situation. She had wanted to give herself a little more time to get to know him before he found out about James. It was a miracle she'd even invited him to the house after all the crap she'd been through this year with her _supposed_ best friends. Now _this_ happened! He better keep his mouth shut, or she would have to strangle him.

"Okay, now I feel like I just got a wet willy," Gage frowned.

Alex closed her eyes for a second at the idiocy of the statement. "_What!_"

"You know, you're just standing there, not expecting anything, and _wham!_" Gage smacked his hands together for emphasis. "Someone who claims to be your friend shoves a finger in your ear covered in their saliva."

"I know what a wet willy is!" she exclaimed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because," he tilted his head to the side and made a show of shaking his ear out. "Your dad just got ice in my ear, and you, my _friend_, just shoved a load of crap in it."

She sucked in a breath…then burst out laughing.

He crossed his arms, indicating he was waiting for an explanation, but his smile said he was amused too.

"I'm sorry," she said when she finally caught her breath. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's not everyday you meet a celebrity or find out they live a half hour away from you! Sorry I spaced," he apologized.

"I get it," she said, relaxing. She always ragged on her Dad for overreacting, but she occasionally did too. "And no one else at school knows. I'd like to keep it that way."

"Duly noted!" he saluted with his hockey stick. "As far as Central High is concerned, Dr. M is your pops."

She smiled in relief.

"Now come on, Obi Wan," he skated out past her. "It won't be long 'til this student surpasses the master!"

* * *

"Patient's results show improvement in brain activity," Logan muttered, reading the results out loud to his iRecorder.

He pushed away from his desk and went to stare down his microscope. "No reaction. Hmph." He wrote down the result, biting his lip, deep in thought.

He pushed to a different desk and added the king of hearts to the house of cards he was building. "Ah ha!"

He pushed back over to the microscope and added a drop of a different solution to the plate. He looked down the magnifier again. "Success!" he pumped his arm.

He pushed back over to the cards and started to add the queen of spades.

"Boo!"

"Ah!" Logan's hand slipped and knocked into his precarious house.

"James!" Logan groaned as the cards flew everywhere.

"Sorry," James said with a smile indicating that he really wasn't sorry. "Didn't mean to disturb the genius at work. Obviously you have _very_ important things to do."

"This," Logan indicated the cards, "is all part of my process."

"Don't you do this crap all day at work anyway?" James looked around the office that also served as Logan's home lab.

"Scientific inquiry strikes when you least expect it," Logan said as he started cleaning up the cards. "And I had to leave early to pick up Alex."

"Right," James nodded. "Just didn't know research included fifty-two card pickup."

"It doesn't," Logan tossed the deck of cards in a drawer. "Was there something you wanted?"

"Who's the guy with Alex?"

Logan slammed the drawer shut. "Gage."

"Oh, _Gage_," James said sarcastically. "That just explains everything. Didn't you think that maybe you should have told me about him?"

"Well, I would have," Logan said just as sarcastic, "if I had known about or _met_ him before _to_day."

"_Logan_," James said, annoyed.

"She said they're just friends," Logan took off his lab coat and hung it on its hook on the wall. He assumed he wouldn't be getting any more work done that night.

"And you believe that?"

"Hey!" Logan turned quickly, insulted. "Alex doesn't lie. You know that."

"Unless she's got some grand scheme up her sleeve," James pointed out.

"She doesn't lie! She just sometimes… omits the truth. But she never lies out right. And she _said_, and I quote, Me and Gage are just friends!" Logan shook his head. "This is the first friend she's invited over in _two_ months. Was I supposed to say _no_?"

"Yes!" James exclaimed even though he knew he was being unreasonable.

Logan just raised an eyebrow, giving a knowing look. "And you find it so easy to say no?"

"Hey, don't start with that again," James stepped back, waving his hands, denying that he was to blame for anything.

"If _you_ had said no, we might know what's bothering her by now," Logan grumbled.

James crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. "She still hasn't said anything about that, huh?"

"No," Logan glared.

"She'll talk," James insisted.

Logan kept glaring.

"Eventually... But in the mean time, no boys!" he continued. "We need to be united on this!"

"Now who's the one overreacting?" Logan asked.

"Logan, she's fifteen! She's the same age—"

"Don't say it," Logan snapped. "Things were different with Katie."

"—that Katie was when _we_ started dating," James finished anyway, not caring that Logan was getting ticked off. "And _that_ was in secret!"

"If you do anything to mess this up," Logan threatened.

"Don't tell me this doesn't bother you," James said in disbelief.

"Of course it bothers me," Logan admitted. "But Alex needs a friend. And maybe having someone to talk to will get her to open up to me—us!"

James didn't miss Logan's slipup. He knew that Alex was closer to Logan than himself. He knew it was his fault too. He was always off filming a new movie, attending red carpet events, and making television appearances to promote his work. He was also the one who got married four years ago. He was the one who tore Alex from her home in Minnesota, making her spend every school vacation and summer with him in Los Angeles while Logan got her all during the school year.

_And_ he was the one who almost let his wife convince him to take the paternity test to find out once and for all whether Alex was his or Logan's.

It took a swift kick in the rear from Carlos and Logan to make him realize that the truth didn't matter anymore. The truth would only destroy an already frightened Alex.

When Alex was born, through some craziness—and possible genius—on the part of Carlos, his friend had listed him_self_ as Alex's father on her birth certificate. While everyone else was consumed by grief, Carlos thought only of the baby. Carlos was the one who went to visit her everyday, standing outside her incubator, talking to her through the glass. Carlos was the first one to hold her when she was well enough to be moved from her glass crib. Carlos was the one who dragged Logan and James to the store to buy everything they would need for the baby once they brought her home. Carlos was the one who finally convinced Logan and James to go see the baby.

Logan and James fell for her at about the same time, though it took James longer to admit it. And then they had a problem. They didn't want to give her up. Even if they wanted to, Carlos wouldn't allow it and since his name was the one on the birth certificate, they couldn't do anything about it unless they wanted to get lawyers involved.

Carlos agreed to go through the process of changing her birth certificate, which would be a very difficult process, after they got the paternity test done.

Except neither of the guys could do it.

James didn't know how to take care of a child and he knew that if he was the father, even with the help of Carlos and Logan, he would mess it up. He probably could have been persuaded to take the test and figure out how to proceed from there, but…

_Logan_ didn't want to take the test. He _really_ didn't. Things had gone from bad to worse after Kendall woke up. Ironically, Kendall turned on Logan worse than James.

By the time the baby was allowed to come home, Kendall was gone. Following the funeral, he split for Los Angeles after making sure Logan and James knew not to come near him ever again.

Logan was too shattered to take the test. He didn't want to be the father because if he was, there was no hope of Kendall ever speaking to him again.

So through much trial and many error, Logan and James decided to take care of Alex together. In a roundabout way, she was both of their responsibility anyway. Carlos let them adopt her a year later. They had to adopt using bylaws only gay couples would use which didn't sit well with either of them, but it was the only way. Carlos only agreed to the adoption after Logan and James had worked out some of their major issues—like when James couldn't get over his jealousy that Logan had sex with Katie first, or when Logan couldn't get over his jealousy that Katie was in love with James but not him. They also had to decide some important things like where would they live and what would happen when one of them got married.

As Alex got older, their reasons for not having the test changed. James was okay with taking care of her. He loved her. And he _wanted_ to be her father. But he was too scared to take the test now because what if he wasn't? What if he wasn't Alex's father? He loved her more than anyone in this world. He couldn't risk losing her.

Logan had given up on Kendall ever coming around again but he was still scared for the same reasons as James. It was worse for him because he was the one who spent every day with her. Alex wasn't just the most important person in the world to Logan. Alex was his life.

James had met his wife on the set of one of his movies. She was the only woman besides Katie who had ever been able to make him change from his player ways. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that he met her at a time in his life when he was seriously considering the future. He was thirty one. It was time for him to settle down. He even relished the thought of more kids. If he didn't do it then, when would he ever?

One year into the marriage and he knew it wasn't going to work out but he kept putting off the inevitable.

Alex was twelve when he got married and she _hated_ Melanie. Whenever it was time for Alex to go to James, she would dig her heels in and scream all the way to the airport.

Melanie grew tired of the constant tantrums and arguments whenever Alex was in town. Alex would find ways to embarrass her in front of guests, ruin dinner parties, 'accidentally' mess up something important to her stepmother, and so on. Melanie tried to get through to Alex, but she wasn't that great with kids.

When Alex was thirteen, Melanie grew convinced that if Alex lived with them full time she would have a better chance of getting Alex to settle in and be more accepting of her. If Alex kept being bounced back and forth, nothing would ever be settled.

That was when she broached the subject of the paternity test. She wanted to know once and for all if Alex was his or not.

In _other_ words—though he didn't find this out until she screamed it at him moments before he said he wanted a divorce—whether she _really_ needed to keep putting up with Alex or if Alex should be some other guy's problem. She declared that she didn't want to raise some whore's child if she didn't have to.

But long before she shouted those words at him, he had actually agreed to take the test. He told Alex what he was going to do so it wouldn't be such a surprise.

He wasn't expecting her to run away.

When he finally found her _twelve_ hours later, she followed him home but wouldn't speak to him at all. Melanie got her wish for peace. Alex went to her room and shut everyone out.

Logan and Carlos nearly killed him. They were both in Minnesota. They got to L.A. as quickly as they could. Then they sat him down and spelled it out for him since he apparently had a thick skull.

It didn't matter any longer who Alex's father really was. _Alex_ believed they were her dads. Finding out the truth meant losing one of them as her father, and that scared her to death.

From that moment, Logan and James promised themselves that unless it was required for medical reasons, they were never going to get a paternity test done. For all intents and purposes, they were both Alex's Dads.

His marriage had ended soon after.

Between her successful career and his alimony—not to mention a few small things she didn't want to become public knowledge—she agreed never to mention anything about Alex to anyone. He oddly trusted her to keep that promise. He could tell she regretted her outburst. She knew she had gone too far when she brought Katie into their argument. He had never told her the identity of Alex's mother, but she knew how much she meant to him.

He moved back to Minnesota permanently, only leaving when he had to work. It had been two years since that disastrous period in their lives, but James was still trying to make up for traumatizing his daughter. He probably shouldn't have agreed to let Alex switch schools without talking to Logan first, but it had become very hard to deny her anything.

He had no problem denying her a boyfriend though.

He walked over and looked out the window to see the courtyard at the back of the house, wondering how much longer the two would be in the dome and what was really going on with them.

He was just in time to see them leaving, obviously choosing to walk through the garden and out through the car byway instead of going through the house.

She was wearing _that_ cap again. He sometimes wished she would just get rid of it. It stung him, and it hurt Logan every time he saw her in it. They were reluctant to make a big deal about it though.

She looked so much like Kendall, it was uncanny.

Her hair was the same dark blonde, just really long. She was just as tall too. She had his eye color, his forehead. Even the eyebrows were the same, darker than her natural hair color. She kept them waxed in a shaped line instead of big and crazy like Kendall did.

The similarities didn't stop there.

She was amazing on the ice. She was always scheming to fix some sort of problem. She was a born leader.

And when she put the big bluish-gray beanie on her head—especially when she wore her hair up and tucked under the beanie—she reminded them so much of Kendall that they could barely look at her.

There were some differences though. Her face wasn't as long as his and her nose wasn't as large or flared. Some people thought she resembled James when she smiled and with her height. Some thought she had the shape of Logan's eyes and his chin. She wasn't a genius, but she still managed to get straight As like Logan. And she wasn't vain to the point of being shallow, but she did take care of her appearance like James.

He saw Alex and that _Gage_ person laughing and carrying on before they went out of sight. He hadn't seen Alex smile like that in a while. Maybe this kid _would_ be good for her.

But he still wasn't going to let his guard down.

* * *

"Seriously, I think your foot works' improving," Alex said as they left the dome to meet his mother who would be arriving shortly.

"Hopefully," he said, knowing he still had a ways to go. He had moved to Minnesota four years ago and had never even been on the ice before then. He spent a lot of his time making up for lost years of training since he hadn't grown up in the sport. But he loved it so much, it was now his dream to go pro and play for the Minnesota Wild. A dream that he could forget about if his coach didn't start putting him in more games next season.

"There's this summer program I'm hoping to get into," he said. "Tryouts are next week and it starts once school lets out."

"Wasting an entire summer vacation on hockey?" she asked incredulously.

"You know, for someone who's so amazing at it and practices all the time, you don't seem too serious about it," he said.

"I love the ice," she said, smiling. "The thrill of the chase, crashing the boards, rushing the net, it's all an amazing feeling. But it's not my dream to play hockey for the rest of my life. Just, you know, for fun."

"What _is_ your dream?" he asked.

"Marine Biologist," she answered.

"Oh… _kay_," he said. "Didn't see that one coming. You _do_ realize where we live, right? Not exactly the epicenter for marine life."

"Hey! Did I harsh on _your_ dream?" she put her hands on her hips. "And I'll have you know, I spend most of my vacations somewhere marine '_lifey_': Key West, Fiji, Aruba, Jamaica. We stopped visiting the really cold places after a skiing accident when I was ten. They decided it was safer for me to swim with the dolphins than chance gravity by falling down another mountain."

"What about sharks?"

She grinned. "My favorite! The last time we were off the coast to Maui, they actually let me go out in a shark cage! Well, Daddy did. Dad didn't find out about it until later. He was not too pleased that I had been in shark infested waters. But it was sweet!"

He was starting to figure out that she referred to her movie star father as 'Daddy' and the resident doctor as 'Dad'. He didn't know how she didn't get confused in her head, but figured she must be used to it by now.

"You're sort of crazy, you know that?" He was also starting to realize that she was even more of a daredevil than he had originally thought.

She just shrugged.

"Take a break this year," he said. "And tryout with me. Its four hours away and its coed! It will be just _like_ a vacation away from home. They have dorms and everything. I bet you'd be the best one there."

"Gage, I don't care about being the best," she said. "And my dads would never let me go away without them."

"At least go to the tryouts with me," he insisted. "You're like my lucky charm."

"Four leaf clover or horseshoe?"

"Abe Lincoln's head!"

"Glad to hear you think so highly of me," she snickered. "I'll ask my dads if I can go with you, but _just_ to the tryouts. And I'm _not_ trying out, comprende?"

"Got it," he smiled, relieved.

* * *

"I don't like him."

"Daddy! I told you he's just a friend! And you don't even _know_ him!" She hadn't even gotten the chance to _ask_ her dads about going to the tryouts with Gage before James had made his feelings known.

"James," Logan nearly growled, completely annoyed.

"Well, I don't," James said honestly.

"You are being completely unreasonable!" she exclaimed.

"I'm allowed to be completely unreasonable when it comes to you," James said, glaring at Logan who was definitely _not_ showing a united front here.

"Ah!" she huffed then stalked off to her room.

"Great job, spazz," Logan pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I thought we were supposed to be united on this," James said.

"I never agreed with you, remember? I told you not to overreact," Logan waved his arm. "_Hello_? What you just did? _That's_ called overreacting!"

"I'm not talking about this anymore," James walked off in a huff.

Logan started the walk to his daughter's room. He knew she was a good kid. He knew that James' behavior wasn't what she deserved. He also knew that she wouldn't keep arguing with James. She was always very respectful of their decisions. So she was either in her room grumbling…_or_ she was concocting a plan to get _around_ that decision.

She really was too much like her uncle for her own good.

Logan fought back the rush of memories and won for once. He had to learn to leave the past in the past…but he was still having problems moving forward after fifteen years.

He knocked on her door, waiting for the response.

He could hear something muffled, like she was talking and he had interrupted her. Then "Go away!"

"Alex, it's me," he said. "Can we talk?"

He heard some rustling and then, "Okay."

He opened the door and stepped inside. He saw her ear piece in place, but her wristband didn't have the telltale glow, so she must be done with the call. He wondered who she had been talking to.

"I agree, James is acting a little crazy right now," he started. "We're just not used to you inviting boys over. Give him some time."

"But Gage is just a friend," she insisted. "Why would I lie about that? I don't lie! My own father just called me a liar!" She looked extremely insulted.

"I know you're not lying," he said. "James just needs a little time. And I think he might even be a little jealous."

She arched an eyebrow, silently telling him how weird—and maybe even gross—that statement was.

"He's used to sharing you with me," Logan cleared his throat. "And he's used to Carlos and Maggie and Ashley."

Alex glared at him when he used the '_hated_' names.

"Sorry, sorry," Logan shouldn't have mentioned the girls. "But he's scared. You're growing up. In a few years you'll be a… a…" he coughed and blushed, "woman."

"_Dad_," she said, just as embarrassed as him.

It was conversations like these that really required a mother.

"He's just worried you're growing up too fast," Logan said. "And Gage threw him through a loop. He'll come around. Just give him some time, okay?"

She nodded.

Logan almost smiled. _Yes!_ He had succeeded in defusing the bomb before everything exploded in their faces. Who said he always crumbled under pressure?

"Can I go to see Uncle Carlos next week?" She wasn't smiling. "He just said I could."

Who was he kidding? _He_ was the one who always said he crumbled under pressure.

"Uh, okay."

* * *

"Why does your father hate me?"

"Don't know," Alex shrugged.

They had just arrived on the campus of Gage's dream summer program. She hadn't bothered asking her dads for permission after James' outburst. They would just say 'no' anyway. She knew the place was near her Uncle Carlos' home. If she could get them to drop her off there, she'd be able to go to the tryouts and give Gage all the luck he needed with no one the wiser.

As she turned she thought she saw a familiar head of hair, long bright red hair—the kind that stood out in a crowd. She tried her best to peer through the bodies and catch a glimpse of the red heads' face.

"The head coach used to play for the Minnesota Wild," he said, pointing to his brochure. "He threw out his knee a couple years ago and had to hang up his skates."

"Really," she said, barely paying attention to him. "What position?"

"Center."

"That's nice," she murmured, tilting her head to the right, trying to see around a tall boy.

"My Aunt Vicky, my mom's younger sister, got all excited when I told her about him, which was really weird because Aunt Vicky _hates_ hockey," Gage said, too excited to notice she was spacing.

"Weird," she affirmed, still trying to see. Maybe she should get to higher ground. She looked around for a bench or something to stand on.

"Apparently he was in some sort of boy band way back when. My mom was already married. But Aunt Vicky was still in high school. It was her favorite group and he was her favorite singer," he rambled on. "I couldn't believe it, I mean going from a _boy band_ to _ice hockey_? Doesn't make sense, does it?"

"Nope," she knew she really should start listening to whatever Gage was saying instead of just agreeing with him, but she wanted to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

"Aunt Vicky said he was awesome, even got his face on the cover of Rolling Stone," he continued, paging absentmindedly through the brochure again. "But the band fell apart when his sister died."

Alex finally saw the girl's face. _Ugh!_ If Maggie was there, Ashley couldn't be far behind. Why, oh _why_, of all the summer camps in Minnesota did they have to be here!

"I'm surprised you don't already know who I'm talking about," he said. "Hockey is your sport! Come on, center for the Minnesota Wild?"

His words finally broke through and she froze.

"Kendall Knight?"

Alex turned so fast she almost fell off the rock she was standing on.

She knew _exactly_ who that was.

Even more than Maggie and Ashley, _he_ was the one person she hated most in this world.

Odd, considering that they had never met.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part II – Chapter 2. Kendall vs. Alex_

See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie.


	7. Pt II: Ch 2 Kendall vs Alex

I own nothing.

* * *

PART TWO: Chapter 2

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_No matter what I do, I can't make things right with Logan. _

_James came home yesterday. Logan left this morning._

_James came to my room last night. I wouldn't let him in this time. I couldn't chance Logan finding James in my room. If Logan knew that I was in love with one of his best friends, it would just hurt him even more... _

_I had been dreading James' return. I wasn't sure how I was going to convince James that nothing was wrong. James would be able to see that Logan wasn't himself. James would see how I avoided Logan. He might not have been able to figure out exactly what happened, but it would raise questions that I would never be able to answer…and I didn't want Logan to answer either._

_Before I had time to worry too much, Logan left. He was on the other side of the US before I even knew about it. I can't say I blame him._

_These past two weeks have been so horrible. Logan has barely looked at me since we slept together. During the first week, I tried to corner him, tried to talk to him, but he either acted like he didn't hear me, or blatantly ignored me._

_I finally managed to wear him down last week. I apologized again and asked him how we could possibly fix our friendship. He finally showed some emotion, but not the one I was hoping for._

_He was so angry! He hates the position I put him in. Kendall is his best friend and now he has to keep this huge secret from him. He said its killing him. Said he didn't know how he would possibly be able to BE around Kendall when he got back. Asked if I had any idea what I had done to him. He accused me of playing with his feelings, of using him to get back at someone else. He couldn't believe that I had used him that way._

_I tried to deny his words, but deep down I knew he was right. I _had_ used Logan, in the worst possible way. _

_He wouldn't let me deny it. He told me to stay away from him. Told me to stop trying to talk to him. That every time he saw me he felt sick. _

_That we would never be friends again._

_The anger was gone and all I saw was pain. In that moment I knew that this wasn't just about Kendall. He had accused me of playing with his feelings, which could only mean that Logan must have somehow fallen in love with me that night._

_And I had broken his heart._

_I could feel my insides breaking as I confronted a small truth about that night. As much as I tried to block it out, I remembered everything vividly. For that brief space of time, Logan was the only one in the world to me. Even if it wasn't something I consciously planned, I gave him everything I had._

_And I wanted to give him everything I now knew he wanted. I do love Logan, and not just as the brother I've always treated him as, but in a way that was new and uncertain. With time, maybe there could be a chance for us. And I knew I never wanted to see that look on his face again…_

_But I couldn't do it._

_I was still in love with James even if he didn't love me enough. Not a day went by that I didn't miss him or still want to be with him. It wouldn't be fair to Logan if I was with him while I was still in love with James. I would just be using him again. And…it would just be cruel to parade a relationship with Logan in front of James._

_I avoided Logan as much as possible after that. I did everything I could to stay out of his way. I didn't want to hurt him anymore. I even missed the fact that James was back from Canada because I was too busy running to get to my room before Logan got off the elevator and saw me. I'd rather shoot myself before purposefully hurting Logan again._

_Now that he's gone…_

_I miss him._

_Katie_

* * *

"You okay?" Gage thought Alex looked a little pale.

She quickly jumped off the rock before she could do something silly like fall on her butt.

"Fine, fine," she reassured quickly, keeping her head down, hoping that Maggie and Ashley wouldn't spot her as easily as she had spotted them. She started gathering up her long hair, pulling it against the nape of her neck. "Did your aunt say anything else about the, uh, band?"

She looped her hair around and around and tied it in a knot, wincing. Her hair was going to look horrible. She just prayed she didn't break any strands when she tried to get it out of the knot later.

"Not really," Gage shrugged, wondering why she was all of a sudden messing with her hair. "Mom cut her off before she could keep going. Once Aunt Vicky starts, it's hard to get her to stop."

"Right," Alex thanked her lucky stars that she wouldn't have to deal with explaining the connection between her dads and Kendall Knight. She still had a more eminent problem to deal with first.

She finished adjusting her hair but knew it wasn't going to be enough. She grabbed the baseball cap off of Gage's head. "You don't really need this, do you?" She quickly put it on her own head, praying there wasn't tons of icky sweat seeping into her scalp from it.

Gage winced at the early morning sun, putting a hand up to cover his eyes. He saw her pull the front bill further down over her face.

"Yeah, I kinda do," he said, reaching for his hat.

She hopped back out of his reach. "Gage! How many bananas should you eat before going into a nuclear plant?"

He looked at her, perplexed. "What does—"

"None, because bananas absorb radiation," she explained quickly. "How many—"

"Okay, something is up," Gage said, frowning. "I may not have known you that long, but even _I_ know you start rambling off useless facts when you're trying to avoid talking about something. And I still want my hat back."

Alex looked around, seeing that Ashley had finally joined Maggie. She pulled the brim even further down on Gage's hat.

"Some people I used to know are here," she explained in a staged whisper. "I don't want them to see me."

"Where?" he turned around.

"Don't look!" she squeaked, grabbing his arm and making him turn to face her again.

"Alex," he said, clearly amused. "They don't know me and I doubt they could see past _your_ disguise."

That's the problem; they probably could.

Maggie and Ashley had been her best friends since preschool. The three of them had been inseparatable. Her father, Logan, had made sure that Alex's friendship with them remained strong through the years. Alex always lived so far away from the others because her dads—well, James—needed a lot of privacy, but Logan always saw to it that she never missed anything: sleepovers, birthday parties, Girl Scouts. Even when his work schedule got in the way, he had their housekeeper, Mrs. Quincy, do it.

Logan was the one who encouraged the other parents to let their daughters sign up for girls' hockey with Alex. After that, the three always did everything together. Whether Maggie wanted to try white water rafting or Ashley wanted to enter a beauty pageant, all three did it. Oftentimes the results were disastrous, but they had fun anyway. And usually Alex came up with some plan to fix everything before their parents found out.

Plans that _may _have included disguises.

Alex wished she was also wearing a hoodie.

"So who are we avoiding?" he asked, turning to stand next to her to observe the crowd and follow her gaze.

She ducked behind his broad back. "Gage! Stop moving."

"Since when do you hide from people anyway?" Gage said over his shoulder. "I thought you were fearless."

She winced. "I just don't want to deal with them today. When does this thing start?"

"Soon," Gage said.

"Who judges the tryouts? I mean, is-is-" she couldn't even say his name.

Fortunately Gage figured out what she was saying. "I think the individual class coaches pick who they want. The head coach just oversees them or something. I don't even know why he agreed to do it anyway. He's like, famous! I doubt we'll get to see him today. _If_ I make it, I'm totally getting an autograph though!"

"When, Gage, _when_," she encouraged, silently cheering that at least she wouldn't have to avoid _that_ person too. Though she knew he would never have any inkling of who she was even if they _did_ bump into each other.

That's what happens when you ignore someone their entire life.

* * *

_Bb-bb-br-rr-rr-ri-ii-ii-ii-ii-in-nn-nn-ng-gg!_

Kendall Knight woke up, startled at the loud noise, and jerked to a sitting position.

Pain shot through him and he let out an involuntary curse as his knee felt like it exploded.

He gritted his teeth and reached over for the annoying instrument making the god-awful sound next to his head.

"Yes?" he managed. He started massaging the flesh around his right knee.

"Good morning!" his wife said cheerfully. "Awake yet?"

He flopped back on the unfamiliar bed located in the private on-campus housing he had agreed to stay in.

"Am now."

"Good," she said. "I miss you."

He softened and smiled despite the pain in his leg. "I miss you too."

"It won't be too much longer though," she continued. "This guest spot is wrapping up nicely. And as soon as school lets out, the boys and I will be on the first plane to join you."

He ran a hand down his face and gingerly sat up, swinging his legs slowly off the bed.

"Tell me again why I agreed to do this?" he mumbled.

"Because you've been promising your sons for_ever_ that they could spend an entire summer with Carlos," she explained. "And between your injury, and the fact that I don't have any projects lined up, it's the perfect time to finally keep that promise. _And_—"

He rolled his eyes. "And I agreed to be head coach because Tom thinks coaching is the next, best, and _only _step in my career and this is the perfect opportunity to start honing my _new_ _craft_," Kendall finished for her, his sarcasm showing through. He didn't always agree with his manager, but he was only helping and Kendall really shouldn't give him a hard time. Things had just been very disappointing lately.

"Exactly," she said with a small smile in her voice.

"Jo, I don't want to coach," he grumbled even though there was nothing she, or _he_, could do about it. "I want to play."

"Not going to happen," she said, trying to keep the spunk in her voice for his benefit. "Just give it a _real_ chance for the summer. If you hate it, you don't ever have to do it again. You don't even have to work again. You know that." Which was definitely true, neither of them had to work _ever _again considering their successful careers.

"Hockey isn't work," he pointed out. "And I'll be bored to death if I'm not doing _some_thing."

"Well, there ya go," she said. "Now get ready and have a great day."

"_Yes, dear_," he mocked playfully. "Love you."

"Love ya more," she teased.

_Yeah right,_ he smiled to himself before hanging up. She was the one who had stood by him through everything, including the darkest period of his life where he nearly succeeded in pushing her away forever. To this day he couldn't believe that they managed to get through that. He was pretty sure that he was the one who loved _her_ the most considering she had put up with him all these years. And she was _still_ putting up with him through this latest slump.

He pulled the bottle of pain killers off the night stand and grudgingly swallowed one.

He hated the blasted things but whenever he overdid it, the pain and inflammation started up. He shouldn't have gone out on the ice yesterday. He had been playing with some of the other coaches, trying to get a feel for their strategy and skill and trying to get them more comfortable with him since they would be working together all summer.

His knee had officially given out two years ago and he was told by multiple doctors that he wouldn't be playing professional hockey again. He'd spent the next year going through rehabilitation, trying to prove them all wrong.

But this was one problem that couldn't be fixed.

If he allowed himself to think about it too much, his mood would plummet faster than a hockey player on thin ice. His knee hadn't given out just because of his hockey career. He'd only been playing professionally for nine years, seeing as how he got a late start. He should have had a few more years left except he had spent four years of his life dancing almost daily. All the wear and tear had finally made its presence known in his last professional game when someone did some slashing and clobbered him. The other guy ended up in the penalty box, but he ended up needing to be carted off the ice.

Deep down he knew that he was never going to get clearance to play professionally again. It just took him another year to accept the truth enough to give in to his manager's demands to start over doing something else.

For someone who had already achieved every single one of his dreams, it was hard to figure out what to do next. But he supposed that coaching was the logical choice.

He had some reservations about spending his summer in this place. He knew the boys loved Carlos and Carlos' boys. He knew he had promised them at least one summer together. But he was antsy about the close proximity to certain people he had been trying to forget for years. It was only Jo's assurances that _they_ always spent the summer abroad that made him finally agree—though he _did_ wonder how she even knew that. He knew Carlos still kept in close contact with _them_. But Carlos knew better than to mention anything about _them_ to him. It was their unspoken rule for years now. Carlos had only brought _them_ up once, five years ago, after some accident. It took months before he would finally answer one of Carlos' phone calls after that.

He hadn't seen either of _them_ since Carlos' wedding twelve years ago. He almost hadn't gone. But a very pregnant Jo had made it clear that the day was about _Carlos,_ not about him. So he went because Carlos was his best friend, and because Carlos had been best man at his own wedding. Carlos did ask him to be a groomsman, but he explained that he felt more at ease sitting with Jo since she was so close to term and it was their first baby.

He also didn't want to stand next to _that…that…pretty boy_, who was Carlos' best man.

He shook himself of his thoughts, cursing again as he got up to shower and get ready for his day.

The past needed to stay in the past, even though it seemed to be popping into his head more often lately than he'd like to admit.

_Darn, stupid, promise._

* * *

"Uh, those people?" Gage asked hesitantly, referring to the ones Alex had spotted earlier. "What do they look like?"

"Why?" Alex said, keeping her head down. She was sitting in the spectator section, waiting for Gage's turn to head off to the locker room.

It turned out Gage had gotten them to the building _way _too early in his eagerness. He claimed he wanted to get a lay of the land and see how the entire process worked before his show-up time of noon. So she had been forced to sit through the girls' tryouts. It figured the girls would get to be the ones to wake up early on Saturday morning and turn up on the ice long before the boys had to crawl out of bed, though she did see some other boys traipsing around. Maybe they just had sisters trying out or something.

"Because those two girls keep looking over here," he whispered.

"What do they look like?" she whispered back, not looking up.

"They have their hockey gear on," he explained. "How am I supposed to tell?"

"You just asked me what they looked like!" she said, exasperated. "Stop looking! Stop looking!" she insisted.

Gage tried to look away, but it was difficult when he knew someone was staring at him. Plus, he was curious.

He was also disappointed. He lied to Alex, telling her that he had 'accidentally' gotten them there too early. The truth was he hoped to convince her to actually try out. He knew the girls started this early. He made a ruse of saying she should try out since, well, _why not?_

She had declined.

"So, what's the story?" he asked. "Who are they? Old friends or something? Their jerseys say 'Edina'. That's your old school, right?"

"They are _not_ my friends," she snapped.

"Bad blood, huh?" he guessed.

"Butt out."

"You _really_ don't want to talk about them, do you?" he asked. He knew she closed up about certain things…like her movie star father and how two straight men had ended up raising her together. But she always just teased her way around those responses or changed the topic. This time she was shutting him out completely to the point of rudeness.

"_Finally_, you get the picture," she said into her lap, hand firmly clenched on the hat she was trying to cover her face with still.

He was going to respond, but he noticed an influx of boys. He checked the time. "I gotta go. Wish me luck."

"Good luck," she said, forcing a smile.

She waited until he was out of sight before getting up and walking to the other side of the arena. She found a girly decorative scarf someone must have dropped on the way, so she pulled off the cap and stuffed it in her bag before covering her head with the scarf. She knew she looked horrible, but if Maggie and Ashley really _had_ noticed her, she didn't want them to be able to find her.

* * *

"Hey!"

Gage was following the other boys to the locker room where they would suit up before tryouts. His mind was preoccupied trying to focus on everything Alex had taught him.

"_Hey!_"

Gage noticed a few boys looking over their shoulders. He gave a little wave of greeting and received a nod or grunt in return.

"_HEY!_"

Gage felt someone tugging on his Henley and turned around, realizing someone had been trying to get his attention.

"Do you know Alex Mitchell?" a red headed girl asked him. She was slightly shorter than Alex and her eyes were an intense shade of light blue that gazed expectantly at him like she would rip out his liver if he didn't respond with the truth.

A brunette joined her, finally catching up. The brunette's hair was short and bouncy. Her hair seemed to match her personality considering she couldn't seem to stand still once she stopped. She was slightly shorter than her forceful friend. She beamed at him. "_Please_ tell us you know Alex!" She clearly had a bubbly nature and was _much_ more approachable than the other one.

"I, uh," he stumbled, trying not to look at the redhead again. "I have to go—"

"That was her, wasn't it!" the scary one exclaimed, pointing at him. "Talk, raven haired boy!"

"I know an Alex _Diamond_-Mitchell," he mumbled for lack of a better thing to say. Alex had corrected him enough by now that he knew her name backward and forward.

He reached to open the locker room door, trying to get inside before he could be questioned more, but the redhead gripped his shirt again, pulling him back.

"So you _do_ know her!" the brunette said, smiling even bigger if that was possible, like he had passed some test by using her complete last name. Her eyes gave away the fact that she did have a brain in her head, even though her gushing demeanor showed otherwise.

"Look, I really need to get to—" he could hear what sounded like a role call through the open locker room door.

"I know, I know," the redhead said, waving away his words. "I'm Maggie, this is Ashley. Can you give her a message? Tell her we're _really_ sorry and we miss her very much and that we just want _five_ minutes to talk! Think you can handle that?"

"I'm no messenger boy," he finally said, not liking the condescending way she was talking to him.

"Please? Pretty please?" Ashley begged, her big brown eyes wide and almost tearful.

"I'll… uh…maybe," he finally said, more confused than ever at this turn in events. With the way Alex had been acting, he was sure these girls had to be horrible or just mean or something. Instead, they wanted to apologize to her?

"Thanks so much!" Ashley practically jumped up and down. "You're the sweetest, raven-haired—"

"Gage Peterson!"

_Crap_.

He ran into the locker room, his big gym bag slamming against his side, and hollered out "Here!" before they thought he hadn't bothered to show up.

He found an empty locker and started changing, barely stopping to think about anything but getting his head in the game.

He would worry about Alex and her girly mess afterward.

Right now, his nerves were starting to show.

* * *

"Kendall!" Carlos exclaimed, answering his front door, surprised but happy to see his friend.

"Hey, Carlos," Kendall said, smiling.

"Come in, come in," Carlos pulled Kendall inside, giving him a quick hug. "Is it just you? I thought you guys weren't going to be here 'til June?"

Carlos was momentarily wary when he thought of his weekend house guest. Thankfully she had gone out to meet a friend in town. Alex visited him frequently so she knew plenty of people in the area. He was her godfather and they had remained close her entire life, plus his name was still on her birth certificate.

"Watch out!" Carlos warned, grabbing Kendall before egg yolk dropped onto his head instead of the hardwood floor.

Kendall saw the glob land and grinned.

"Still trying to learn to cook, Chef Carlitos?" he laughed. "And Jo and the boys will be here in June, I had to come down early for tryouts."

"That would be the work of Chef Mikey," Carlos said, referring to his eleven year old son, Michelangelo.

"Like father, like son," Kendall smirked. It still amused him that Carlos' wife, Sophie, had actually allowed him to name their sons after Ninja Turtles, though it probably had something to do with the fact that the woman was one of those crazy artistic types who loved the classic artists from _way_ back in the day.

"You have _no_ idea, man!" Carlos rolled his eyes remembering the egg catapult of twenty minutes ago.

"Daddy! Mikey won't let me help!" Leonardo Garcia squealed as he ran into the hallway from the kitchen, completely covered in flour.

Carlos reached to stop the eight year old before he ended up sliding in the egg glob.

"Uncle Kendall!" Leo pulled out of his father's grasp and threw himself at the taller man's legs, leaving a pint sized flour print.

Kendall picked him up, laughing. "Let's go tell Chef Mikey that he should treat his assistants better. What are you making?"

"A giant shark cake! Mikey put all the Chiclets in for the teeth! He won't let me squirt the blood!"

"But that's the best part," Kendall smirked as he entered the kitchen, Carlos following behind.

The guys stopped and started laughing when they saw Carlos' oldest. He was covered in flour too, but it looked like he'd been on the receiving end of one or two of the raw eggs that must have resulted in the mess in the entryway.

He was trying to funnel some strange dark red syrup into a squirt bottle but it was spilling everywhere. It looked like someone had just been slaughtered in the kitchen.

"I wanna squirt it!" Leo insisted from his uncle's arms.

"No!" Mikey denied. "You'll ruin it and it has to be perfect!"

"What's the occasion?" Kendall said to Carlos, still amused.

"We're making a surprise for—" Mikey started to say as he twisted the top on to the squirt bottle.

"A friend of ours," Carlos said, taking Leo from his friends' arms and setting him down. "No one you know," he said quickly. Then he mentally slapped himself, hoping Kendall didn't pick up on the fact that he was hiding that 'friend's' identity. "Mikey, let your brother help."

"Aw, dad!" the boy complained, but he grudgingly handed the messy bottle over.

"You sure you're ready to deal with all of them for the entire summer?" Kendall asked. "You are a much better man than me. Or just a bigger kid." He winked.

"Everyone is welcome at Carlos' fun house!" Carlos joked, relieved he hadn't caught on. He knew better than to mention Alex to Kendall. "Plus, Jo and Sophie'll be around. And there's _tons_ of stuff to do and play with."

He was referring to all the strange animals he kept around his house. He couldn't help that his collection had grown over the years. He didn't have anything truly dangerous—his wife wouldn't allow it around the boys—but he had been obsessed with the idea ever since he found out about Gustavo's mote.

"Right," Kendall nodded. That was the reason his boys had been so eager to stay in the first place. He thought his friend was crazy, but… that had sort of been established years ago. "If you can keep Sophie from dragging Jo everywhere to do girly things, that is. She's probably going crazy not having any other females in the house."

Carlos avoided flinching, but barely. Sophie always went out with Alex whenever she visited. They even had plans for lunch and shopping the next day. He hated having to watch what he said around Kendall. It always felt like he was walking on eggshells in any conversation he had with him. It was part of the reason why they weren't as close as they used to be even though their friendship was firmly intact.

That was a miracle in itself.

From the moment Kendall opened his eyes in the cold sterile room he'd been placed in to sleep off his sedative, Carlos knew that the coming months were going to wreak havoc on all of their lives.

Carlos remembered Mrs. Knight had fallen asleep in a chair next to Kendall's bed, her head resting on the covers and her hand clasping his.

He remembered texting the guys to let them know he couldn't tell who the father was, and to let them know that Kendall was still asleep. He remembered just standing next to the bed. He was too wound up to sit down. He was scared to death that his friends, no, his _family _was about to fall apart.

And then it did.

Kendall seemed to shut down when he finally woke up. Carlos tried to tell him what little he knew about the Logan/Katie/James situation—leaving out some parts, like the fact that Logan hadn't protected her.

He found out anyway.

Everything came out when Kendall had finally gone to confront them. Carlos had felt sick to his stomach watching Kendall turn on them. Kendall had always been their rock, their leader, the center that their worlds revolved around. But he couldn't give in to his grief. Instead of crying and mourning, Kendall blamed all parties involved. And he pushed _everyone_ away, even Carlos, Jo, his own mother. He didn't want anyone to comfort him because comfort meant he would lose his anger, and his anger was the only thing keeping him alive.

The brunt of his anger seemed directed toward Logan. It might have been because James had actually been in a relationship with Katie, albeit in secret, while it had been more like a one night stand with Logan. It might have been because of the lack of protection thing, even though Carlos pointed out that James could very well be the father too. It might have been because Kendall had already beaten the shit out of James and hadn't laid a hand on Logan yet.

But deep down Carlos knew the real reason.

Logan was Kendall's _best _friend. More than Carlos and more than James, Logan was the one person that Kendall _always_ thought he could count on.

Carlos would never forget watching Logan try to explain everything to Kendall. Logan had pleaded with Kendall, begging him to forgive him for his part in the mess. Logan tried to tell Kendall how much he really did love Katie. Logan had been desperate not to lose Kendall.

But Kendall had wanted no part of an explanation.

It was a miracle Kendall didn't kill Logan. Carlos could see the rage in his eyes. But Kendall never actually laid a hand on him. Carlos sometimes wondered if the blonde knew he would go too far if he did.

Instead, Kendall told Logan _and_ James that he never wanted to see either of them again. They were completely dead to him.

By sheer will, Carlos managed to hold onto _his_ friendship with Kendall. When Kendall found out what Carlos had done as far as the baby went, he used it as an excuse to try to kick Carlos out of his life too.

It had been a long year, trying to juggle the baby, dealing with James' and Logan's issues, and attempting to remain in Kendall's life.

Carlos had never felt more ill-prepared for responsibility in his life. That was the year he truly had to grow up. He had to become the rock. No one else was able to.

Kendall finally allowed him back in after Carlos let James and Logan adopt Alex. He was pretty sure Jo had a lot to do with it too.

And he knew that Jo had _everything_ to do with the man now standing in his kitchen who seemed at ease, able to smile and joke. The shadows of his past were buried deep, though not gone. Kendall had managed to go on with his life.

Carlos just wished that life included Logan, James, and _especially_ Alex.

"So, why aren't you at the tryouts?" Carlos asked, bringing his mind back to the present. "If that's the reason you're here early?"

"The other coaches pick the teams," Kendall explained. "I just oversee everything, and I'm not really needed there except for some paperwork today. I hit the office, and now I'm ready for some Carlos time."

"So, you wanna see Patsy?" Carlos asked slyly, "I just got her. We're gonna see if she can get through the maze on her first try."

"Patsy?"

Carlos just grinned.

* * *

"You think he'll tell her?"

"Maybe," Maggie said, blue eyes flashing.

"At least we know those rumors about James getting married again are fake," Ashley pointed out. They hadn't spoken to their friend in two months, so the only way to get any information was to check out all the rags and internet gossip about her famous father.

One rumor was that James was engaged to his latest costar, Vicky Schwartz. Both of the girls remembered what happened the last time James was married. Alex was so mad she wouldn't answer to Diamond-Mitchell anymore. She claimed that her last name was Mitchell, even making her teachers address her that way. They knew it probably had something to do with the fact that she couldn't call him 'Daddy' whenever they had guests at his home in L.A. They needed to protect the "big secret".

Once the raven haired boy had mentioned the double last names, they knew the rumor couldn't be true or Alex would have nixed that in the butt again…

"Unless she actually likes this one," Maggie pointed out.

Ashley pouted, knowing her friend was right. So they actually knew nothing.

"Why was she here anyway?" Maggie asked though she knew Ash wouldn't know the answer. "I mean, doesn't she know who the head coach is?"

Ashley shrugged. "She didn't try out, so maybe she was just here for that guy."

"In which case, if he makes the team," Maggie started smiling slyly. "We'll have a way in!"

"Not if you keep scaring him!" Ashley said, shaking her head in exasperation.

"I couldn't help it," the redhead shrugged. "He's deaf as a doornail! Did you hear me have to yell for him, like, three times? Annoying!"

"I think he's kind of cute," Ashley said, smiling slightly.

"Stop," Maggie glared. "That's the _last_ thing we need if we're going to see our plan through _and_ get Alex to talk to us again."

"I'm all for getting Alex to talk to us again," the brunette said. "I'm just worried about approaching Kendall Knight. What if we mess things up worse?"

"Believe me, things can't get much worse than they already are."

* * *

_What was he doing?_

Alex smacked her forehead, unable to believe how terrible Gage was doing. He was all over the place. She had seen him trip over his own feet once! Even during speed drills, he was lagging behind the others and at one point looked bootsy!

Gage was so much better than this! What was wrong with him?

He finally seemed to show improvement during the final stage when they started a scrimmage game, able to make some decent assists, but she knew the damage was already done.

There was no way Gage was going to make the cut.

Alex slumped her shoulders, feeling badly for her friend. She was supposed to be his good luck charm, but obviously luck had left the building.

Afterward, she waited by the exit, pulling the scarf out of her hair and undoing the knot, letting her hair fall into a tumble down her back. The girls had long since left, so she knew she didn't have to worry about Maggie or Ashley anymore. If they had wanted to bother her, they would have done so by now.

The boys came trickling out, the ones who knew they had performed well looked super excited as they rushed up to their parents or friends who were waiting for them.

_Finally_ Gage came out. He was trying to play it cool, but she knew how disappointed he must be. She hadn't really showed any huge displays of affection with him before, but she couldn't help but rush to give him a big hug, nearly knocking him over.

He awkwardly returned the hug, surprised and almost pleased at the contact, but after his disappointing tryout, he really just wanted to leave.

When she pulled back, he shrugged, "Ready to go?"

"Did they say anything yet?" she asked, still trying to be positive. "When do you find out if you made it?"

"They'll post the roster for the team online tomorrow morning or something," he mumbled.

"What time?" she asked. "I can't wait to see if you're—"

"Can it, Alex," Gage said, shoulders drooping. "You and I both know I'm not going to be on that list, not even for an alternate. I choked."

"There's still a possibility—"

"You know how you told me to butt out when it came to those friends of yours?" he said, frustrated. "Well, this is where I tell _you_ to leave it alone. I didn't make it. It's not going to happen. I'm not going to start this fall either, and I'm never going to play professional hockey! When they post those rosters I'm not going to be on it!"

"What if you _could_ be," she said, smiling mischievously.

_Huh?_

* * *

"This is insane!" Gage hissed, watching as she loaded a black screen onto the desktop computer and began typing frantically.

"No its not," she typed until she got through the first firewall, grinning.

"They're going to know there was some sort of mistake when my name turns up on that list," he said. "It's not supposed to be there."

"But it _will_ be there," she said. "And they will have to honor their word. Its not _your_ mistake if someone messes up, now is it?"

"Alex…" he kept peaking out the door to the computer lab, expecting campus police to show up any minute.

"Crap!" she mumbled. She stopped typing, chewing on her lip.

"What?" he said, turning quickly.

"Coach Wilson already sent his list to the head coach's email," she mumbled. "I guess _he's _the one who posts all the lists."

"Well, just, um, send a new list?" he asked, wondering if that were possible. "Just say that there was a typo on the first one?"

"I would, except it would be even more obvious when the question about how your name got on the list comes up," she said. "I'm going to have to get into his email and delete the first one."

"Can you do that?"

She groaned inwardly. She could, but it was getting way too close to a person she didn't want to be near.

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?" Gage threw his caution out the window. "Please, Alex?"

She sighed. She would do this, but only to help Gage. She hoped the powers that be could see the sacrifice she was making for a friend and would let her get away with this.

"I have to access it from his office computer which is turned off," she said. "I can only get through to Wilson's because he's logged into his. I know some backdoor stuff, but not enough." Maggie was the real genius at computers.

"So, how exactly…?"

"I need rope, gloves, a belt with a _big_ buckle, a bobby pin, a flashlight, and a big mouse trap sticky pad," she listed.

"_Oh_… kay?"

* * *

Gage winced, watching her wave before going over the edge of the roof.

They had to wait until darkness fell before attempting their breaking and entering routine. At this point, he figured he had nothing else to lose. If they got caught, what were they going to do? Kick him out of the program? _Ha!_

Alex had been ecstatic when they found a perfectly good metal circle prong on the roof. She was easily able to pull the rope through, tying it deftly, like she knew a thing or two about knotting ropes. She threaded the rope through the belt buckle, the leather strap of which was threaded through her jeans.

She then propelled off the side of the building, her gloved hands holding onto the rope while her feet were pressed firmly against the wall.

She was the craziest person he had ever met. At least it was only a three story building.

He asked if they could just go through the front door of the office, but she claimed it was too risky. He thought this way was the one that was too risky. But she seemed to know what she was doing, so he just held his breath and prayed she didn't fall.

Alex finally reached her destination and tried to open the window, hoping she wouldn't need the bobby pin she had asked for or any other tool she didn't currently have.

She grinned successfully when the pane opened without much effort. Who would care about locking a third story window anyway?

She looked inside, careful to keep an ear out for any potential intruders.

She quickly unlatched the belt, removing it, and slipped into the room, racing to set all her props in place before settling in front of the monitor on the desk.

She was in!

* * *

He was getting nervous. He had seen her go into the window, but he hadn't heard anything for a few minutes. How long would it take to finish?

He ducked down on the roof when headlights pulled into the parking lot. It was dusk. Only janitorial staff should be in the building, and they had already arrived. No one else was supposed to be there, at least not until the next morning. So why was someone pulling into the parking lot _now_?

In the dim light of the lot, he caught a glimpse of dark blonde hair getting out of a dark blue truck. He tried to see the guy's face and gasped when he realized who he was looking at.

He scampered over to the edge and tried to whisper loudly. "Alex!"

When she didn't reply, he tried to text her only to hear a tell-tale beep from the jacket she had left on the roof with him. What a time for her to not be wearing her wrist phone!

He grabbed her jacket and raced toward the door to the building. He ran inside and made a mad dash for the room, frantic to get her out before Kendall Knight could reach his office.

* * *

Alex nibbled on her bottom lip, wishing she had added watermelon Pull&Peel to her supply list.

She thought she heard something in the hallway and glanced up before focusing on the computer again.

She was trying to crack his password. She didn't understand why it was so difficult to get into his system. Maybe she had missed something. Either way, she just needed to get in. _Now_.

As a last resort she typed **katie** and was rewarded with entry to the computer.

She gulped, not quite believing that had worked. She frantically accessed his internet browser, happy to see he was one of those people who logged into their email and told the computer to _keep_ them logged in.

She could hear cursing in front of the office door, and she grinned. She knew whoever it was, they were currently in a very _sticky_ situation. She needed to hurry now if she was going to get out before it was too late.

She deleted the first email from Coach Wilson, and made sure to remove it from his deleted file too.

"What are you doing?"

Alex looked up, expecting to have gotten caught. Instead, she saw that the door was still closed. _Huh?_

"Oh, I, uh,"

Alex winced. What was Gage doing in the hallway?

She quickly closed the browser and shut down the computer, just in time for the office door to open. She tried to duck under the desk before she was caught, but that plan went out the window when Gage practically fell into the office, the sticky pad stuck to his shoes. He knocked into a chair, which knocked into the desk, which slammed into Alex's head, causing her to end up flat on her back with the swivel chair she had been sitting on lying on top of her.

She groaned, closed her eyes and tried to move it, only to have it lifted off before she could find the strength to properly push.

"Keep still."

She was feeling slightly dizzy from the blow to her head anyway, so she obeyed the voice, feeling gentle fingers at the growing knot on her forehead.

"Kid, take your shoes off and go get some ice for your friend."

She could hear stumbling, figured it was probably Gage trying to remove his feet from the sticky trap and do the man's bidding.

She finally braved a look, her eyes focusing on the person kneeling above her.

His eyes were amused as he stared at her. "Mind telling me what you're doing in my office?"

_Crap! Crap! Crap!_

* * *

After an insane afternoon with Carlos and his boys, Kendall had only been stopping by to pick up his wallet, which he had accidentally left in his new office since he wasn't used to the new routine yet.

The first weird thing he noticed was some boy standing in front of his office door, hopping around, clearly trying to get something off his feet. At first Kendall tried to help the boy, trying to get him to calm down enough to tell him to remove his shoes. It wasn't the first time Kendall had been up close and personal with a glue trap. The kid seemed to freak out even more though. Kendall decided to unlock his office door and let the kid hobble over to a chair or something.

Instead, as soon as he unlocked the door, the kid lost his balance and went crashing into it, opening it before Kendall had a chance. All he could do was watch as the kid fell all over the place. His amusement went to shock and then to alarm when he noticed there was someone else in his office, behind his desk, and whoever it was got slammed in the forehead by the desk when the kid pushed it accidentally.

He went around the desk to try to help the girl in suspiciously dark clothing, pulling his chair off of her and hoping she wasn't too injured.

He winced at the size of the knot on her head, and sent the other kid off for ice.

She finally opened her eyes, gaining focus. _Good!_ he thought, hoping she didn't have a concussion.

Kendall grew confused as he watched the pain in the girls' face fade away to... _was that hatred?_

"Here's some!" The boy exclaimed, running back into the office. The dark bandana he had been wearing on his forehead was now filled with ice from the lounge down the hall. He pushed it toward Kendall.

Kendall quickly applied it to her head.

She reached up and snatched it out of his hand, flinching away from him and applying it herself. "I got it," she snapped.

"So, I repeat,' he said. "What _are_ you doing in my office?"

The girl closed her mouth, indicating that she wasn't going to say another word. She didn't have to; the boy said it all for her.

"We are _so_ sorry! _I'm _so sorry! She doesn't even want to be here. She didn't even try out. It's not her fault! I knew I wasn't going to make the team and—"

"_Shh!_' the girl shushed him loudly.

Kendall sat back on his haunches, starting to understand what was going on.

"Is this about the teams being posted tomorrow?"

"Why couldn't you have just stayed on the roof?" the girl grumbled to the boy.

Kendall raised an eyebrow and looked to the window. He stood up and walked over, seeing that it was open. He smirked when he saw the belt dangling from a rope.

"You didn't want to just use the door?" he asked, amused.

'That's what _I_ said," the boy mumbled to him before looking at the girl. "I saw him coming, I was trying to get your attention but I couldn't."

"I had a plan for that," she muttered back to him.

"Let me guess," Kendall said. "You slipped the mouse pad under the door so if someone came to it, they would get stuck and you would be alerted and able to get away." It sounded pretty cool to him. He was just glad he hadn't been the one to get stuck. His knee had been acting up all day. He really couldn't take much more irritation.

The girl gave a perfunctory nod. She wouldn't look at him at all.

"So, all I know is, this has something to do with the lists," he said. "Were you hoping to change them or something?"

The kids were silent.

"What are your names?"

Silence again.

Kendall started his computer and easily logged in, opening his browser. "Let's see, you're what? Fifteen? Sixteen? Midget class. Coach Wilson."

"Maybe I should just call Coach Wilson, see if he remembers you from today? I'm sure he'll be willing to give me your name," he said to the boy, wondering if that would get a reaction. He opened the email he had already received from the coach.

The boy sighed. "Gage. I'm Gage Peterson."

The girl poked the boy in the ribs.

Kendall couldn't help the small laugh he made at that, before he saw something on the list that stopped his laughter.

"Wait a minute, your name is already on here," he looked at the boy again. "What was the point in doing all of this if you already made it?"

The boy's eyes widened. He glanced at the girl quickly before stammering out, "I-I just wasn't… sure."

Kendall realized the boy was lying. This kid had _known_ he wasn't going to make it. That meant the girl had succeeded in hacking his account before he had gotten to the office.

"I think I'm going to call the coach, just to make sure this is right," he said as he reached for his office phone.

The girl finally showed some reaction. "Don't do that!"

"But why? Like I said the name's already there, so there isn't really anything to worry about," Kendall was the picture of wide-eyed innocence.

"You know he's lying," she admitted. "He sucks at it. But he _really_ deserves to be on that team! He just gets nervous sometimes. He wouldn't if he had proper training! He's really good! I swear!"

"Nervous, huh?" He almost laughed. He hadn't seen anything _but_ nerves since he first met the kid.

"It was bad," Gage winced. "Really bad."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kendall said. "And I'm also sorry to tell you this, but I'm not the one who picks the teams. The coaches do. And their word is final."

"But…" Gage grumbled, giving up. "Aw, man. _So_ close!"

"But _you're_ in charge of the entire program," the girl pointed out. "What _you_ decide should be final, especially if… say… we beat you for it."

"Excuse me?" Kendall was curious where this was going. The girl seemed to be extremely resourceful and devious.

"I play you," she said simply. "First one to three points wins."

"And the terms?" he asked, wondering why he was even considering this.

"Simple. If you win, we're out of your hair forever," she shrugged. "But if I win, you have to let Gage on the team."

"I'll do you one better," he said, feeling intrigued by the entire situation and remembering that the boy said the girl hadn't tried out. "If you win, both of you are in."

"No, just him," the girl replied quickly.

"But he's a ball of nerves," he pointed out. "And _you_ think you can take _me_. If you can even score _one_ point, you should definitely be here."

"I can't afford it," the girl said, looking a little peaked.

The boy frowned at her. Kendall didn't miss a thing. He wondered why the girl would lie about being able to afford the program, but even so…

"Don't worry about that," he answered.

"I don't—"

"If you don't stay, he can't stay," he gave the ultimatum. He still didn't know why he was bothering to play this game. He figured she wasn't going to score anyway, but it was still funny that she thought she could.

The girl looked at her friend. The boy seemed to be silently begging her.

The girl looked back at Kendall.

"No deal." She stood up, cradling her head as she came to her full height. Kendall was a little thrown when he realized she was practically as tall as he was.

The boy groaned, but rose to his feet as well. He was about as tall as both of them, but it wasn't as surprising as the girl.

Kendall shrugged. "Lists go out at ten tomorrow. If you change your mind, be here at eight.

"In the meantime, make sure you keep ice on that," he nodded to her head. "And stay awake for a while."

"I know the drill," she mumbled.

"By the way, what's _your_ name?" he asked.

The girl just shrugged, not responding.

"Al—" the boy started to say.

"Allie," the girl interrupted quickly. "I'm Allie."

"Allie," he said, repeating the name back.

"Allie Bishop."

* * *

"Allie Bishop?" Gage waited until they had reached the outside of the building to ask her about it. "Why did you lie?"

"I panicked," she said, still fighting back the anger that she was feeling at the man they had left inside the building. "He didn't need to know my name."

"Well, the Allie part I get, sort of," he said. "But what was up with the Bishop?"

"Chess," she mumbled.

"Chess?" he asked, bewildered.

"You know, king, queen, knight, bishop?" she muttered. "It was the first thing that popped into my head."

"Oh, because his last name is Knight," he nodded.

"Yeah," she affirmed. She couldn't believe she had just met the infamous Kendall Knight. It was scary how many similarities she could see between the two of them. She had seen photos before, but up close she noticed that the skin around his nose crinkled the same way as hers when she smiled even though his nose was much bigger. He had the same little laugh lines as her around his mouth. He even had her eyebrows! Well, what would _be_ her eyebrows if she didn't wax and tweeze like crazy. "Well, that was a waste of time."

"Not if you show up tomorrow," he hinted hopefully.

"It was just a ploy anyway," she said, covering quickly. "He was in the NHL! There's no way I could score. I was just talking smack to see if I could get him to just give in. I didn't think he'd _really _take me up on it."

"Alex…" he said, looking at her with intense eyes. "If anyone can do it, it's you."

"Gage—"

"You're my only hope," he pleaded. "What am I going to do all summer if I don't do this? Get a job? My parents just work all summer. I'll be bored out of my mind. You'll probably be in some exotic place. And I'll just be trying to sneak into my neighbor's pool when they're out of town."

"But—"

"And even if you aren't going away for the _entire_ summer, your father hates me for some reason! I can't even hang out with you anyway," he griped.

"Daddy's being a bit difficult, but you know my Dad doesn't hate you," she quickly explained. "I'm sure there will be plenty of things for us to do."

"I want to do this, Alex," he said, eyes pleading. "I want to get over my nerves. You never got to see me play because you transferred at the end of the season. I don't know why I get that way. It just happens. You saw me getting better towards the end. It just took a while of being on the ice. I can do this! I just need to get one more chance…and they won't give it to me without your help."

Alex wanted to scream. She wanted to help him so badly, but she couldn't do it!

Maggie, Ashley, _and_ Kendall Knight all rolled up into one summer vacation? It was a recipe for disaster. Especially if her dads ever found out what she was doing. How was she even going to be able to get away from them for the entire summer? And what if they found out _he_ was here? She hadn't brought the man up to either of her dads in years. She didn't even _want_ to spend an entire summer near him. She hated him.

"Please just try?" he begged. "For me?"

She started to get a semblance of another plan. She felt guilty lying to Gage, but there was no help for it. If he _thought_ she was trying to help him, he couldn't be mad if she lost. After all, she _would _be trying. As much as she wanted to help Gage, he had no idea what she was going to have to go through if she won the game.

"I'll do it," she finally agreed.

"Yes!" he said, jumping in joy.

"Don't get your hopes up though," she was quick to say. "There's a strong possibility that I won't win."

"Right, right," he nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"So what are you going to tell your dads?" he asked, suddenly realizing they weren't completely out of the woods yet.

"_If_ I win, I'll think of something," she was relieved she wouldn't have to since she definitely _wasn't_ going to win.

"And at least you don't have to ask your dads to pay for it," he pointed out. "Pretty quick thinking in there.'

She shrugged. She had been trying to talk her way out of things when she concocted _that_ lie. She didn't really care about lying to Kendall Knight anyway. She didn't have any respect for the man.

"You could just tell them about it, maybe they'll let you stay?"

"I doubt that," she said. "Because I have a feeling they won't like the coed dorm thing." _Or the Kendall Knight thing._

"But its same sex on each floor," he explained. "Not like we'd be rooming next to each other."

"And still, I say, I have a feeling they won't let me…" she said. "We'll figure it out, I guess. We got this far. Let's just see what happens tomorrow."

* * *

_What had she done? What had she done!_

She was supposed to throw the game, so how did this happen?

From the moment she stood in front of _him_ on the ice and saw the amusement in his eyes, _again_, she had felt a rush of annoyance.

_Why was he always smiling like that, anyway?_ When the whistle blew, she found herself grabbing the puck first.

He let her. She could tell he was playing with her, letting her think she had a chance before going in for the kill.

It infuriated her when she realized he wasn't taking this all that seriously. It would have been so much easier if he just grabbed the puck and went for the goal. This could have all been over in seconds.

But now she was getting mad. She knew all she needed was one point. He had changed the rules she set. All she needed was to score one point for Gage to stay and to start the worst summer of her life.

She started to forget all about the problems that would arise if she won. Instead, she started really playing.

She was trying to fake him out, skating back and forth, her footwork fast, handling the puck with ease, even spinning once or twice to change directions on him, but nothing was breaking through his solid defense.

Then she noticed he wasn't as solid when he went to the right. That's when she remembered the injury, his reason for even being there. She knew that was her entry point. That all she had to do was attack that side and she would be home free. It would be well worth it, seeing him in pain after everything—

She started to raise her stick, and stopped. She had never played that dirty in her life. She tossed the idea aside before she could convince herself to go there.

She pulled back, letting the puck go behind her before she chased for it, wanting to open things up a little before she went for the kill. With her speed, and his confusion at her change in tactics, she managed to pick up the puck before he got to it. With the space she created, she accelerated to an even faster speed _toward _him, so when she crashed her back into his _left_ side, she had more force in her push than most girls could achieve.

He ended up against the boards, but he didn't fall—she wasn't _that_ strong, and he was used to being checked. She only had a split second before he was after her, so she did what any self-respecting hockey player would do and skated for her life.

She knew he was right behind her. She was surprised he hadn't reached her yet though he would surely be on her any minute. She got the feeling he was done toying with her and was going to take control of the game any minute. She needed to shake him if she was ever going to get a shot at the goal.

There was only one thing left for her to do.

She stopped the puck, her stick holding it in place, while she dug in her skates, shutting down her forward momentum in mere seconds, and bent forward.

She grinned in victory when he couldn't stop himself. Most high school students like her make the mistake of getting too cocky, thinking they could be faster. Any other high school student in her position would have kept going. It took extreme patience to back down like she had. He fell forward _over_ her, her body completely tripping up his legs. _Her_ legs hurt at the effort it took to stay upright, but since it wasn't his entire body smashing into her, she was able to hold on.

She stood up and skated toward her goal, easily sliding the puck into the net.

As the buzzer went off, Gage started cheering from the side lines. Mr. Wilson and Mr. Milton, the boy and girl Midget coaches who had been invited to the game since their teams would be affected by the game, were staring at her in complete shock.

Even Kendall Knight, who was barely off his feet before regaining them, seemed to be stunned, but he still had that amused look in his eyes. _Damn him_.

"Welcome to Weston, Allie Bishop," he said, bumping her shoulder with his gloved hand.

She glared at him, wishing she _had_ slammed her stick against his knee. She left the ice quickly, tearing at her laces and practically kicking off her skates in a fit of anger.

_What did I do!_ She screamed at herself. Her competitive spirit had won over what her brain had been telling her. She was so screwed. How was she supposed to get herself out of this one?

"Is there anything you _can't_ do?" Gage asked, meeting up with her. His eyes were glowing. At least _one_ thing had gone right, though it was for him, not her.

"It was a bust. He was toying with me," she grumbled, her mind was racing.

Gage rushed to keep up with her when she left the arena area and stormed down the dank cement walkway to the empty locker room. He kept following because he knew no one else was in there.

"C'mon, Alex, you were awesome! Did you see his face? _You_ were toying with _him_!"

Alex remained silent, struggling to get her jersey and pads off, still furious.

"What's wrong?" he asked, realizing that she was actually upset. "You should be happy about this. You love beating the guys, and you just beat a professional hockey player!"

"An _injured_ hockey player," she pointed out, ignoring the rest of his question.

"That's not the point!" Gage said. "You still won, so why are you acting like you're about to kill someone? Is staying here really _that_ bad?" He gulped. "I mean… _I'm_ going to be here."

Alex just shook her head.

Gage shifted uncomfortably. He really _really_ liked her. But she had never once shown any interest besides friends. He could live with that. But what was so wrong with spending the summer with him? And it was _hockey_. She was one of the best. Why _wouldn't_ she want this?

"Look," Gage finally said, feeling a little hurt but he didn't want her to be this unhappy. "If you really don't want to do this, you don't have to. I'm the one who messed up. I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do."

Alex stopped her movement, looking down at the floor. "You'd really be okay with that?"

"Yeah," Gage said, trying to hide his disappointment.

She couldn't let him miss out on this chance. No one should lose hope in their dreams. This was Gage's chance to train under the watchful eye of a professional.

Oppurtunities like this come once in a lifetime. And when they do, you gotta grab it and go big time. Her Dad had taught her that a long time ago. He said a very wise man told him that. Gage was willing to give up on his dream...but she couldn't let that happen even if his chances of going pro were slim. He needed someone to believe in him. Someone to give him a chance to prove what he was capable of.

Alex sighed. "I'll stay."

"You sure?" Gage asked, afraid to hope.

"But it's going to take more than some intricate plan to get around my dads," she said. "I think its time to involve Uncle Carlos."

She just hoped he could help.

* * *

Kendall didn't know what her problem was.

From the moment she stepped on the ice, he knew the hostility she had directed at him the previous evening hadn't been just his imagination. This girl _really_ didn't like him.

She reminded him of someone, but he couldn't figure out whom. He didn't remember any Bishops, but maybe he had gone to school with someone years ago. Maybe some lab partner who he had to spend way too much time around and subconsciously remembered their looks but couldn't pinpoint?

He let the girl get the puck first. He wanted to see what she would do with it, if she really had any skill. She seemed like she wasn't into it at first. If he had gone for the puck, he would have easily beaten her.

The more she worked the ice, the more she got into the game. He saw a familiar glint in her eyes, and he knew she had decided to go for it.

He saw everything, even when her eyes landed on his right knee for a split second. He was used to people going for the low blow. He was ready to take her out in an instant, especially when she started lifting her stick.

He didn't know why she stopped. If her attitude was any indication, she should have swung. But she didn't.

Instead, she back tracked. He was embarrassed to admit he was a little thrown. Expecting a blow that never came made him give her a second to regroup. It even gave her enough space to check him. He noticed that she went for his left side. He was surprised that the girl even managed it. She must be in excellent condition.

And then she took off, showing him her speed. And, man, was she fast. He knew he was faster though. He took off after her, ready to take control of the game finally. He was positive that she would keep going until she reached the goal. He had seen seasoned players make that mistake numerous times. They knew someone would be on them any minute, and _still_ they were too cocky. They were sure they could out skate their opponent. High School players had a tendency to only see the goal in front of them, thinking they had finally broken through the other teams' defense.

That was why, when she slowed down suddenly and bent forward—a move out of his very own playbook—he couldn't stop or go around her in time.

He landed hard but quickly regained his footing in time to hear the telltale buzzer go off.

She actually did it.

He was shocked, amazed, and impressed. He wasn't one to get embarrassed and resentful just because a teenage girl had just beaten him.

He tried to congratulate her, but if looks could kill he would be lying on the ice with a skate shoved through his neck.

He watched her leave the arena. She was angry, actually furious, throwing her skates and barely speaking to the friend she had done all of this for.

_What the _hell_ was her problem?_

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part II – Chapter 3._

See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie.


	8. Pt II: Ch 3 Sophie

I own nothing.

* * *

PART TWO: Chapter 3

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_I love pulling one over on interfering fools like Bitters, Gustavo, and anyone really if the occasion presents itself. One of my dreams is to take over as CEO in Arthur Griffin's place. I'm way smarter than that man. And having that kind of money and power? It's a big time rush just thinking about it (pun intended)._

_I've always acted mature for my age, and I knew how to turn a quick buck well before I hit puberty._

_Kendall always says that I'm growing up too fast._

_So, was it any wonder that by the time I hit sixteen I thought I was ready to take my relationship, with my older boyfriend whom I love, to the next level?_

_But I wasn't ready._

_The fact that I made such a mess out of everything already should have been a clue that I __really__ wasn't ready. But apparently 'teenage hormonal Katie' was a little bit less self aware than 'pre-teen focused on swindling people Katie'._

_James finally told me today what he's been trying to say since the day he returned from Canada. He loves me and he wants me. He was so sincere, I knew there was no way I would ever doubt him again. And then I lost it. I cried my eyes out! I tried to stop. I was so horrified. I didn't cry that way. I'm supposed to be stronger than that. I'm Katie Knight. I'm brave, fierce, and even more resourceful than my big brother._

_Yet, there I was, crying, because I had done something so horrible that I knew James would probably never forgive me. Even though we were broken up at the time, how can you forgive the person you love for sleeping with your best friend?_

_You couldn't._

_So when James kissed me, I couldn't let him stop. I wanted, no, I _needed,_ to be with him just __once__. I love him so much and I needed to be as close to him as I had been to Logan, if not closer._

_Afterward, I was ashamed of my actions. I really shouldn't have slept with him before telling him the truth. I searched for the words. I knew I had to tell him _some_thing, but I was debating whether to tell him it was Logan, or just keep that from him. And I was trying to decide if I should tell him _now_ or wait until we weren't lying side by side…_

_And then he knocked me through a loop. He wanted to tell Kendall. He wanted to be with me for real. Not only did he love me, but he was willing to make it public. He was finally brave enough to face Kendall._

_All I could see was Logan's face._

_James was finally giving me everything I ever wanted, and suddenly I didn't want it anymore._

_Logan, James, Kendall, they were all so completely clueless._

_Logan will be devastated if he has to watch me with James. I needed to give him time to get over me, find someone else, before I sprung the truth about James on him. But even if I did, I still had to face the very real task of telling James the truth about Logan, and probably end up losing James in the process. _

_Then, there was Kendall. _

_In my mind's eye, I saw the next few months on tour. Secrets always have a way of coming out, and once one was revealed inevitably everything else would unravel._

_Kendall would view both James' and Logan's actions as a betrayal. James had been keeping secrets for months, lying to everyone. Kendall wouldn't be able to trust him ever again. And it wouldn't matter that _I_ was the one who started it, Kendall would be so angry with Logan. It has been so long since I've seen Kendall truly angry. These past four years have been the happiest of his life. He's found something he loves doing, and he gets to do it with his best friends._

_I couldn't let my actions destroy three friendships._

_With clarity, I knew that no matter how I felt, I had to stop, and I had to keep all my secrets locked away and pray _no one_ ever found out. Even if it meant confusing James, I was willing to put my feelings on hold for them. I've loved all three of them in some way, shape, and form, my entire life. I didn't want to lose James, but even more, I didn't want them to lose each other._

_What a time for me to decide to become the sacrificial lamb._

_I told James not to tell Kendall. Of course, he took it badly. I watched him walk away from me, much the same as Logan did. He issued his own ultimatum this time. Tell him what I wanted and he'd let me know if he could live with it. _

_I know he will never be able to live with anything I say. So, I guess I just won't say anything…_

_Maybe it's for the best. _

_Katie_

* * *

"Do you think the halibut is from the Pacific or Atlantic Ocean? You know they're being overfished in the Atlantic. I read that you need to avoid it if you want to help save them. If the general population doesn't start being more careful with sea life, our oceans are screwed. I mean, after that giant oil spill twenty years ago our Gulf Coast _still_ has problems. Maybe I should just go with the salmon. Do you think its Alaskan? Because that's really the best choice. I mean, even _that_ is taboo if its' from the Atlantic, so—"

"Alex! Breathe!" Sophie exclaimed, putting a hand up, nearly knocking over her water glass on the restaurant table.

"But—"

"Ready to order?" the chipper waitress asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"I'll have the turkey wrap," Sophie said quickly, turning so fast her long dark brown hair nearly fell out of its haphazard pile on the top of her head. "And _she'll_ have the grilled chicken salad." She looked pointedly at Alex daring her to argue as she adjusted the hair pin, pushing it in more firmly.

Alex flushed but nodded, smiling at the waitress, "with honey mustard."

Sophie was relieved. Her niece had been running off at the mouth from the moment they stepped foot in the restaurant. Alex said she had to do something that morning in town, so Sophie agreed to meet her at their favorite lunch place. After a harrowing morning of trying to get Leo's head unstuck from the bars on the banister railing, she was ready to relax and spend the afternoon shopping and doing girly things—sans her two hellions…make that_ three_ if you counted her crazy, but lovable husband.

"So, _Logan Junior_," she emphasized, knowing how Logan got when he started revealing his knowledge on certain topics. "Mind telling me what's with the fish lesson?"

"It's just very important to protect—"

"Yeah, sea life, I know," Sophie smiled to herself, remembering the concoction everyone had been forced to eat for dessert the night before.

Her boys knew all about Alex's love of sea animals and when Mikey saw a show on a cooking network he decided he was going to make a special cake in the shape of Alex's favorite animal, with a little 'help' from her, of course. She disliked working with cake—she wasn't a baker—but she _was_ a sculptor, and there wasn't a material she couldn't manipulate. In fact, it was how she met her husband. He had been told that a truly amazing 'crib' needed to have various pieces of expensive art. So he commissioned her to create a very accurate likeness of a giant corndog. By the end of the project, he got his corn_dog_ and she got her corn_ball_.

"But as much as your Dad goes on and on about brain waves and whatever else he happens to read about, he only does it because its part of his everyday conversation," Sophie said. "_You_, on the other hand, only go on and on when you don't want to talk about something."

Alex seemed to find her straw cover fascinating. She folded it in half, then again, and again, down to a little square.

"Talk, miss," Sophie insisted. "What's going on, honey?"

If anything was bothering Alex that she couldn't talk to her dads about, she tried to make sure the girl knew she could come to her. She knew she was the only real female influence in Alex's life.

Logan had never married and, as far as she knew, never _ever_ brought anyone home to meet Alex. In fact, in all the time she'd known him, _Sophie_ had never met one woman he dated—unless she and Carlos had managed to get him to couple with them and a friend of theirs when he was visiting. She'd asked Carlos about it once, but he just said the genius was picky. Carlos told her that Logan _did_ date, but no one was ever good enough to introduce to Alex. And Logan didn't want Alex to get attached to anyone and get hurt when things didn't work out.

James, on the other hand, had no problem dating and letting the world know who the lucky woman was. He couldn't have a problem with it because he was constantly in the public eye. But, just like Logan, he didn't bring them home. He usually dated when he was away and working. She knew James loved being in the spotlight, that he thrived on it. She knew that it was a constant struggle for him to juggle his Minnesota family and his career. But she also knew that James loved Alex more than anyone, even himself. Though he was trying to be the best father he could be, he oftentimes made huge messes that everyone had to clean up. James had really messed up when he married that actress. Sophie hadn't thought much of Melanie, but she was willing to support James' choice—and she was hopeful that Alex would finally get the mother she needed. As usual, everything turned into a huge convoluted mess that resulted in the worst two years of Alex's life.

Sophie noticed Alex had started to change after that. At first she just put it off as normal because the pre-teen was becoming a teenager and everyone went through big changes once they reached that age. But something was off. Sophie had never been able to put her finger on it.

She wanted Alex to have more of a mother figure, someone who wasn't four hours away like she was, but since she didn't, it was up to Sophie to help whenever she could.

"I have to ask Uncle Carlos for a big favor," Alex said glumly. "But I don't know if he'll do it."

"You know he would do anything for you."

"I'm not too sure about this one…" Alex trailed off.

"Sounds pretty serious," Sophie said, wanting to ask Alex for the details, but not wanting to push her. It was easier to get Alex to open up if you didn't push her.

The waitress arrived with their food just then, interrupting their conversation.

Once she left, Sophie watched as Alex twirled a piece of lettuce back and forth. She stayed silent, enjoying a bite of her wrap, waiting for the girl to speak.

At last, she did.

"It's about…," Alex sighed and finally just came out with it, "Kendall Knight."

Sophie choked on her food. She coughed, trying to swallow without asphyxiating herself.

"Are you okay?" Alex said, growing worried, ready to jump up and pound on her aunt's back if she needed to.

Sophie wiped the coughing induced tears from her eyes and nodded her head, finally able to breathe.

"Yes," she took a sip of water. "You were saying?" her voice went up an octave at the end.

This was the first time while in Sophie's presence that Alex had ever really even _acknowledged_ that Kendall existed. The boys had been bouncing off the walls after spending the day with him and Patsy, the alpaca Carlos had somehow managed to adopt. The animal had spit on Carlos at one point while they were trying to 'encourage' the animal to find its way through Carlos' 'fun house' maze. Her sons couldn't wait to tell Alex about it. The boys didn't have any idea that Alex and Kendall were related. They didn't see anything wrong in telling her the story, and Sophie and Carlos would never even _try_ to sensor the boys. They drew the line at involving their kids in Kendall's ignorance. They would avoid bringing up Alex, and try to change the topic of discussion whenever Kendall was around. If the boys did happen to say anything, Kendall just laid a deaf ear toward their words. It had been that way for years.

Alex behaved much the same way. Last night, she never talked about it or showed any outward reaction, just changed the subject to rave about the brilliance of using red velvet for the inside of the shark, since it looked _just_ like blood that way.

"I… tried out for this hockey camp at Weston and got in," Alex explained, hesitantly. _That was _basically_ what happened_, she thought. It was the easiest way to explain. "It runs for most of the summer. Dad and Daddy don't know anything about it, and even if they did, they would say 'no' because the guy in charge of the entire program is _him_. He doesn't know who I am, of course," Alex scoffed.

Sophie couldn't help but notice the disgust in her voice when she said that.

"You don't seem to want to be there with him either," she said slowly, carefully weighing her words, not sure how to proceed.

"I don't," Alex said simply. "But… it's a good opportunity." Well, it _was_; she wasn't lying…just leaving out a lot of the details.

"So… you want Carlos to do… what exactly?"

Sophie knew that this might just be the one time her husband would deny the girl. She knew all about the circumstances surrounding Alex's birth. She knew that Kendall had absolutely nothing to do with her or her dads. Sophie, like Carlos, couldn't understand how Kendall could just ignore Alex. She had met the little beauty for the first time when she was three and couldn't help but fall for the child. Kendall was definitely missing out, not knowing Alex, but those were Kendall's terms set long ago. She also knew how sensitive Carlos was. He wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize his friendship with the hockey player. Alex was definitely barking up the wrong tree with this one…

"Tell them I'm staying here, in Pipestone, _without_ them, for the summer?" Alex said, hopefully.

"You want _Carlos_ to lie to your dads?" Sophie would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious, and if Kendall's boys weren't already spending the entire summer at their house.

Carlos couldn't lie with a straight face. He couldn't even keep a secret. He always blurted the truth, saying what you most wanted him _not_ to say. Like when he met her parents for the first time. Her family was Italian through and through. And while Sophie had _very fortunately! _been blessed without it, her mother had that lovely gene that meant she fought a constant struggle with upper lip hair. Carlos couldn't help telling her she should grow it out to one of those "cool cowboy handlebar 'staches". Mama hadn't been amused.

"Not _lie_," Alex stressed. "Just… _omit_. I _will_ be staying _near_ Uncle Carlos, so it's like I am here. They have dorms on campus."

Sophie coughed again, taking another sip of water.

"What are you thinking?" Alex asked.

"Ask him," Sophie said for lack of a better thing to say. "See what he says."

"But do you think he'll help?"

"We'll just have to see," Sophie murmured, giving a hopeful smile for the benefit of the teen.

She was going to have to take her straight home to talk to Carlos. They didn't have time to shop now. They had very limited time before Alex's ride arrived that evening.

So much for her relaxing afternoon.

* * *

_Well, that's over_, he thought. The lists were officially posted. Now he could do something more fun.

Video games never got old, no matter how old you were, and especially with the latest technological advances of 2030, so he had no problem wasting some of his time submerged in the latest virtual game system which was why he'd installed a duplicate system to his one at home in his spacious office.

As he set up the game, he had to admit, this coaching thing was becoming more and more interesting by the day. He figured he'd be giving some pointers, maybe some inspirational speeches—because he was really good at those—and the rest of this job would be a boring cakewalk.

Instead, his office had been burglarized, his computer hacked—he _still_ didn't know how the girl had managed that, he lost a bet, _and_ he lost his first one-on-one game in years, something that even _with_ his bum knee had rarely happened.

Maybe this coaching thing wasn't so bad after all.

"Uh, Coach Knight?"

"What's up?" Kendall said, stopping his movements and turning around. It was that boy again, standing uncertainly in his doorway. He hadn't seen him since he scampered after the girl when she went storming from the ice.

"Your friend change her mind?" He wouldn't be surprised if she backed out of their agreement. Most kids would be ecstatic after accomplishing what she had. But she acted like she was the one to lose.

"Wha—oh, no," Gage said, clearing his throat. "I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity, sir, and I hope that—"

Kendall held up a hand. "It's cool, kid."

"Yeah, but…" Gage trailed off, not sure how to ask. "I feel very honored to be here. I won't let you down."

"Stop with the schmoozing," he laughed, sitting back down at his desk. "You're already in. I'm sure you can't be all that bad or your friend wouldn't have fought so hard for you." Though, he _hadn't_ seen the boy play yet. And by the way Coach Wilson had reacted to the news of receiving the 'dead weight,' Kendall was starting to think that the boy really might just be _that_ bad.

"I was just wondering…"

Kendall raised an eyebrow, waiting.

"willyouhelpmewithmynerves?" Gage said quickly.

"Me?"

"Yeah," Gage nodded. "I mean, I know I probably should just talk to Coach Wilson but you're… you, know, you're Kendall _Knight_."

"I'm aware."

Gage swallowed, remembering the looks of disapproval he had received from Wilson all during Alex's match. He knew the guy didn't really want him there, so there was no way he was going to give him any extra help or attention when camp started in a couple weeks. He'd be lucky if he wasn't benched the entire summer. He wasn't going to let Alex handle this problem though. She'd already done enough.

"I know you're all important and stuff; and I've worked lots with Al-Allie," he corrected before he could say her real name. "But she doesn't take the game seriously. She never gets nervous on the ice because she doesn't care, so she can't help me. But _you've_ played professionally. _You_ know what it feels like to have to win, to actually care that the entire team is counting on you. How did _you_ get around it?"

Kendall thought about it and decided that maybe he _could_ help. But it wasn't going to be his professional career that he would be referring to. When he got back into the game in college, eventually working his way to his professional position on the Minnesota Wild, he hadn't cared either. Losing a game didn't seem to matter because he had already lost something more important. It had actually helped his game because he never held back, never backed down, and took chances where no one else would.

No, the only time in his life when he had ever been nervous was when he was in Pee Wee _way_ back in the day and, as captain and being the one to lead the team, took personal responsibility when the team lost. There was also when he first started performing before thousands of people. But he had worked through all _those_ nerves relatively quickly.

"Is it really _that_ bad?"

"Yeah," Gage said, relaxing slightly when it appeared he was actually considering his request.

Kendall drummed his fingers on his desk, considering.

It wasn't like he had much to do anyway. Even when his family joined him, everyone would spend more time at Carlos' than with him on campus.

"Sure, not a problem," Kendall finally decided.

"Wow! Thanks!" Gage exclaimed. "You are _so_ so so" he couldn't think of the best word to use.

"_Amazing_," Kendall said sarcastically, unintentionally mocking his long ago producer.

He hadn't heard from the man in almost fifteen years, not since he reneged on his contract. Gustavo had understood, and the fans had equally understood, when it came to cancelling the rest of the tour. The unexpected death of a family member made everyone suddenly _very_ understanding, even if the details of the death were never released. It was when he announced he would no longer be a part of Big Time Rush and wanted nothing more to do with the musical industry in general that problems started to arise. Only when he agreed to record one last song, his vocals done separately from the other guys, that Gustavo agreed to absolve the contract without any legal action.

"Yeah, that," Gage nodded.

"Find me when the session starts," Kendall said. "We'll figure something out."

"Yes, sir!" Gage said, a little too enthusiastically.

Kendall just waved at him and stood up to go back to setting up his game.

He smiled to himself when the kid left quickly, the telltale sound of an 'oomph' indicating that the gangly boy must have walked or kicked into something as he left the office.

That boy needed a confidence boost, _stat_!

* * *

"You do realize you are conforming to a perfectly boring stereotype, right?"

Logan rolled his eyes and drew his club back, swinging quickly, wincing when the ball didn't even come close to the hole. His trajectory was _very_ off. "Good afternoon, James."

"You should make it like extreme golf!" James interjected. "Off the siding, down the path, shoot off the fountain, and into the pool! Nothing but putt!"

"No," Logan grunted.

"This isn't for another one of those handsome doctors' convention, is it?" James asked. "Because I thought you vowed to never go to another one after what happened _last_ time."

Logan still had nightmares about it. Two hundred men, thinking they were God's gift to women because they were blessed with good looks. All acting like the biggest brain dead imbeciles, completely forgetting that they had numerous degrees between each other that said otherwise. Once it became obvious one of the lecturers, the most attractive _female_ physician of the speakers, was largely interested in Logan, the other guys drove him insane with their childish pranks. Among other things, one overzealous handsome doctor who clearly spent too much of his youth watching reruns of MTV's Pranked, thought it would be hilarious to replace Logan's sun block with mayonnaise. Logan ended up squirting the rest of the offending bottle on all the pricks in the immediate vicinity, making them squeal like girls and run for cover. Logan left early, not really able to concentrate on enjoying himself since he had to be on constant alert. The ironic part was he hadn't been interested in the woman in the first place.

He only attended the conference hoping to network a little and get to know his colleagues. It was back when he was still a resident, but had already decided that he was going to specialize in neurobiology when his residency was over.

They had moved to Minnesota permanently after he completed college and medical school. It had only taken him, genius that he was, four years. He upped his class load in college once he didn't have to spend so much of his time on the band. He finished his undergraduate degree in one more year, instead of the two years it would have taken most people. He wanted to go to Stanford University for med school, but since it was over three hundred miles from Los Angeles, he decided to just stay at U.C.L.A. since they _did_ offer what he needed. Between James' schedule and Logan's classes, it was the only way they could continue in their respective careers and take care of Alex together. Money wasn't a problem, so they had a nanny _and _a housekeeper to alleviate some of the stress.

He worked his butt off to graduate from med school early. He had grown tired of Los Angeles without Kendall. He wanted his daughter to grow up in Minnesota like he had, not California. His goal was to move before Alex started school. James preferred the sunny state, but he gave in eventually. Logan became more of the homebody parent while James' career gained momentum and had to go away for months at a time to film a role. He reasoned that if James wasn't going to be at home unless he wasn't working, what was the problem with going to Minnesota instead of staying in Los Angeles? James couldn't argue with that, though whenever he took a year off—as some actors were apt to do so they didn't become stale and to build anticipation for their next projects, he grew restless way too fast. Which was why Alex had been all over the world, traveling more than most _adults_ had, by the time she was ten.

"Around two hundred guys who act like _you_ but actually _have_ a brain?" Logan smirked. "Yeah, not gonna happen again."

"Hey!" James yelped. "Take that back," he insisted, giving a wide eye warning glare.

"Aren't we too old for this?" Logan asked.

"Take it back!" James said, grabbing the putter club from the golf set and brandishing it in Logan's direction as menacingly as possible.

"James," Logan said, holding up his driver to defend himself. "Go polish your Oscar or something."

"I will later_,_" James parlayed. "_After_ you take it back!"

"James, really," Logan blocked James' advance, pressing forward against the club, glaring into his friend's face.

Then he froze. _Oh my God!_

"Um, yeah, I take it back," Logan said, quickly averting his eyes from his friend's face and backing away.

James stopped, "What?"

"I take it back, let's, uh, try that extreme golf thing," Logan didn't want to give anything away if he could help it.

"What's wrong," James realized that Logan had been looking at him…or rather his _hair_ when he stopped arguing. He dropped the club and grabbed his head. "What?"

Logan tried not to wince. "Nothing, I just take it back. Don't want to argue…"

James grabbed the ever present mirror from his back pocket. He stopped carrying head shots around when he became a household name, but the mirror was never far from his person.

"I don't see anything…" James looked at the slope of his hair, which had gone through many different styles, but still remained perfect over the years. "Not one hair out of place, were you just playing…" Then he gasped and nearly dropped the mirror.

"James!" Logan said, raising his arms and moving his hands slowly up and down in front of James, hoping the motion would indicate he should _remain_ calm. "It's okay. Just breathe. We can fix it—"

James gulped, fighting back the panic, and used his mirror to find the offending hair again.

"I'll take care of it," Logan said, grabbing hold of James and reaching to pluck the hair before James could freak out even more.

"_No!_" James practically squawked. "Don't you know that once you remove one, two more grow in its place!"

"That's just what people say! It's not true," Logan tried again, but James jumped back.

"I'll call Greta," Logan said, naming the only stylist James saw whenever he was in town. "She'll take care of it before you can say 'what gray hair?'."

"AH!" James finally gave in to his freak out, grabbing his head in horror.

"Just go to your room before anyone else sees you," Logan said patiently, referring to their housekeeper, Mrs. Quincy, and the gardener who was trimming and whatnot since summer was upon them. "She'll be over and will fix it immediately."

James turned and ran, still clasping his head. Logan found the number on his mini wrist phone and dialed. He couldn't help but laugh once James was inside the house. No matter what they had all gone through in their lives, some things just never change.

Now, if only he could fix his aim enough so he didn't keep embarrassing himself in front of colleagues whenever he was forced to play a simple game of the most boring sport in the world.

* * *

"Kneel, Leonardo Garcia, of Pipestone, Minnesota," Carlos said in his best British accent.

Leo was the face of seriousness, as Mikey giggled in the background.

Carlos made a big show of placing the brand new black helmet onto his youngest' head, just so!

"And rise! Sir Leo, he who now-eth wear hockey helmet and shant 'ere get precious head stuck again!"

Leo nodded and stood up. Mikey teetered, trying not to dissolve into uncontrollable laughter.

"Try not to take it off," Carlos said, giving careful instructions. "There is nothing you can't do with your helmet on. Eat, sleep, pick your nose, swim, skate, run into walls, head butt rhinos, its' all perfectly acceptable behavior." Hopefully he hadn't given him any ideas…

"Just don't wet the bed again!" Mikey called out. "You're not man enough to wear the helmet if you can't hold your bladder!"

"I don't wet the bed!" the eight year old Leo said, looking at his brother in horror.

"Yuh huh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Aw, guys, no fighting," Carlos said, pouting. "Mikey, you know Leo hasn't done that in years."

"Then why is his bed wet right now?" the eleven year old indicated the bed that was across the room, and had a very noticeable wet spot in the middle of the sheets on the unmade bed.

"I didn't! I didn't!" Leo said, looking at the bed with a confused expression.

"Then what did!" Mikey exclaimed.

Leo gulped and looked at his father with wide eyes.

"Spill it," Carlos said, already knowing his son must have brought one of the animals to his room and said animal had left behind the mess.

"Betsy was lonely," Leo said morosely, wishing he had noticed the bed before his father.

Carlos bugged his eyes. "Betsy's a _fish_."

Mikey nearly died laughing. "You can't sleep with a fish! It, it…" he stopped laughing. "Oh my gosh! You killed Betsy!"

"No, I didn't!" Leo pointed to his desk and the small empty fish bowl there. "I just put her in that."

"You are so weird," Mikey said, though he was relieved Betsy was okay.

"And in a lot of trouble," Carlos said, looking pointedly at his youngest. "You know your mom doesn't like pets in your room."

"But Betsy's clean! She lives in water! That's clean! And she didn't make a mess at all!" Leo insisted.

"Oh, really?" Carlos looked at the bed.

"_I_ did that," Leo said. "It spilt when I wasn't looking!"

Carlos tried not to smile, but it was really hard.

"Then I guess you better change the sheets yourself," came an unexpected voice from the doorway.

"Mommy!" Leo squealed. "Look, Mommy, look!" indicating his new head gear.

"It looks perfect," Sophie said. "And safe. Now go take the sheets off your bed. I'll get new ones."

"You're home early," Carlos said when Leo scampered off to do her bidding.

Sophie smiled softly, her expression not hiding her worry. "Alex wants to talk to you. She's in the den."

* * *

He wanted to pinch himself, he wasn't entirely sure he was awake at the moment.

He couldn't remember the last time Alex had mentioned Kendall to him. When she was a child, she always felt more comfortable asking him questions about her mother and her mother's family. Some kids had the ability to just sense certain things, and she was one of them. She figured out early on that Logan and James had difficulty with the topic—not that they _didn't_ answer her questions. She just somehow knew it was a little hard for them and avoided going to them. She didn't like distressing her dads. They didn't mind Carlos answering the questions, so he had. But Alex had stopped asking questions years ago, her attitude toward Kendall changing to one of distaste seemingly overnight. Now that he really thought about it, he was pretty sure the last time she had mentioned Kendall was around the same time as her skiing accident when she was ten.

And now she wanted to spend an entire summer right under his nose? And she was okay with that?

Carlos wasn't.

"Carlita…" he murmured, using her seldom used first name. " … _no_."

"Please, Uncle Carlos?" she begged.

"No," he repeated. "I didn't know you wanted to get to know him. But—"

"I know all I need to know," she said, sparks flying in her eyes. "And I don't want to do this because of _him_!"

"It would be best if you didn't go," Carlos said. "If you want to tell your dads the truth and they agree to let you go, that's one thing. But I can't get in the middle. You should have told them the real reason you were coming here anyway."

"But…"

"Why _this_ camp? Why not some other one?" Carlos asked. "I'm sure there's one closer to home. Just call them up, see if you can get a tryout there. With the way you play, they'd want you in a heartbeat."

"But this one is close to you guys," she insisted. "I can come and see you guys practically whenever."

Carlos shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Kendall's boys are staying here," he said, wincing inwardly.

He had told her very few details about her cousins. She had never met them, but she knew what they looked like. She saw her maternal grandmother _maybe_ once a year; usually she came to Alex instead of the other way around. For the times that Alex went to her, Carlos was sure she would have noticed that Judy had pictures all over her house of her grandchildren. He was also pretty sure that she didn't have many, if any, of Alex up though. And if she did, those probably disappeared quickly whenever Kendall was at the house, which was fairly often. He knew how _that_ was, he tried to steer Kendall clear of a certain room with pictures of Alex and her dads whenever he came to Carlos' house too.

After Katie died, Mrs. Knight had rallied behind the only child she had left, trying to not completely fall apart, but inadvertently managed to push Alex to the backburner. Mrs. Knight usually stayed in Kendall and Jo's guest house at their second home in St. Cloud whenever the family was staying in Minnesota for large periods of time. She normally lived in her own private home near Kendall's permanent residence in Los Angeles, spending as much time with her grandsons as possible, never missing a soccer game, hockey game, choir recital, school play, or any other activity the boys were involved in. She was their biggest supporter. Carlos wished she would have been more involved with Alex because it didn't seem fair to him, but in all honesty, he knew if she had been, she might have decided to fight for custody. And then where would Logan and James be?

Alex didn't respond. She wasn't sure how to. She knew that _he_ had a family. She was used to Mikey and Leo telling her stories about their 'cousins' and 'uncle' even though she didn't want to hear about it.

But until today, she had never been uninvited from her 'come whenever you want' invite to her Uncle Carlos' house because of them.

"_So_?" Alex said, shrugging to push off her hurt. "I'll just stay on campus then. I don't need to come visit you. It's still a good opportunity to train under a _professional_, even if it is him."

"I have to stay out of this," Carlos said apologetically, his words final.

She wasn't going to persuade him. He could usually be swayed on most things, he was well aware of that. He preferred for people around him to be happy. It was sort of a big deal to him when he had to deny someone something—unless they wanted him to help them become famous. Then it was easy to refute. Alex's request was even easier to turn down. Well, _almost_.

"Okay," Alex quietly accepted, getting up and leaving the room quickly.

She wanted to argue with him, but she was starting to get upset and was trying to hide her feelings by being silent. She knew it was illogical, but she felt a little left out that all of her 'cousins' were spending a summer together while she wasn't even aware of their plans. But that was just the way things were. She had accepted it a long time ago but she never liked it.

She had a couple hours before Sebastian came for her. The old man was her chauffeur every time she went to Carlos'. He had started doing it a few years ago when Mrs. Machkalsky, God rest her soul, passed. Sebastian was right up there in the years too, but he was still spry and fit as a fiddle.

She should probably call Gage on the ride home and tell him to forget about Weston. Obviously things weren't coming together as easily as she had hoped.

* * *

"Can you see anything?"

Logan shook his head for the millionth time. "_No! _She matched the color perfectly. No one will even notice." His wrist phone beeped. He turned the face to him, and pressed the screen.

James groaned, still in shock. "I can't believe this!"

"Its' life; deal with it," Logan mumbled, reading the message.

"Can't you show any more concern?" James said, whining. "You're not the one going prematurely gray!"

"You're thirty-four," Logan said, distracted. "One gray hair happens. When entire patches are coming up that way, you'll probably be sixty. I'll show more concern then. But I draw the line at changing your diaper."

"Bite your tongue!" James exclaimed.

Logan turned toward his desk, slid into his seat and started scrolling through some files.

"What are you doing?" James asked, wondering why Logan had stopped paying attention to him.

"You remember that break-through I was telling you about, the one with—"

"Please don't," James interrupted. "You know I don't know anything about those things. Normal people's words please."

"I'm going to London," Logan said simply.

"Ugh, rain," James said shuddering at the condition the city always left his hair in.

"The work I'm doing is getting noticed and I have to go do some presentations and lectures and—"

"All the _really _interesting things that you normally do, I get it," James said.

He was used to Logan going off at the last minute. He was a brain surgeon and world renowned, usually taking the most unique cases he could find, going all over the world whenever the doctors in those places had given up on being able to help. Those cases were few and far between so Logan usually did a lot of research and stuck close to the less unique cases that arose at Edina General. He had an office on the campus there. His passion for helping people had never waned.

"I have to leave before school lets out," Logan said. "You guys want to join me or—"

"Nope!" James said, grinning. "Alex said she wanted to go whitewater rafting at least _once_ this summer. And she liked my Cayman Island idea."

"When did she say that?"

"About a month ago," James shrugged. "One of our video chats. I asked her. That's what she said."

"I'm not sure how long I'll be gone," Logan said. "I have to leave in two days."

"Well, you'll just have to join _us_ whenever you get a break, or its' over, whichever happens first." This would actually be great. Logan usually let Alex do anything she wanted to try, even going right along with her because he would try most anything too. But the unpredictable made Logan fretful. Like vicious animals running lose, on the prowl. Like the shark cage. Logan had to leave for a couple days on that particular vacation, not knowing about Alex's dangerous swim until he returned.

James impishly wondered what they could get into on the Caymans before Logan got back.

"James," Logan said, not with a little aggravation in his voice.

James braced himself for a lecture on the dangers of sharks and open water and whatever else Logan had dreamed up to be anxious about as far as Alex was concerned.

"This is a bad time for Alex. _You're _going to have to chill out."

"I'm chill," he insisted, not expecting Logan's words. He shrugged. At least it wasn't another lecture. "I'm the chillest around."

"Let Alex spend time with Gage, and don't give her a hard time about it."

"Hey, now," James started, immediately shaking his head.

"Don't argue with me," Logan said, his voice losing all sarcasm or room for jest. "Just do what I say for once."

James wanted to argue. He had many reasons _to_ argue. But he thought better of it. Logan rarely put his foot down when it came to James dealing with Alex. They had accepted that they both had to make decisions about her and that they wouldn't always agree. Each of them took turns giving in when they couldn't agree because it was the only way they were going to make their family work. Usually it was Logan giving in to James though, but occasionally Logan fought tooth and nail for what he wanted for Alex.

"I won't stop her," James grudgingly agreed. "At least we'll be leaving soon and won't have to see him the rest of the summer."

"Thank you," Logan said, ignoring the last bit.

"But I still don't like him!"

* * *

"Remember that thing you said you wanted more than anything in the world?" Sophie said in a whisper, looking around. She knew she was probably alone since she'd decided to make the phone call in one of the rooms they hardly ever used in their big house. She also knew she could never be too careful.

"An original Valentino?"

"No, the other thing."

"You mean—" came the reply.

"I think it's a good time to do it," she whispered. "She wants to go to Weston's summer camp."

"Logan and James are letting her go?" disbelief was heard in the voice on the phone.

"They don't know she tried out. She's trying to find a way to go without telling them or lying to them. Carlos won't get involved."

"Does she know—"

"—that Kendall's going to be there? Yes." Sophie had become amazingly adapt at finishing her friend's sentences. "So? What do you think?"

"I think we would have done it a long time ago except he would have hated us. And he _still_ will hate us. It's a bad idea and—"

"_but_ we never had the perfect time before. _This _time is perfect," Sophie insisted.

"What makes this any different?"

"Because _she's_ going to him," Sophie sort of improvised, remembering Alex's tone when referring to Kendall earlier. She knew Alex wasn't technically going to him as a way of getting to know her uncle… but it would be best if her friend thought that.

"I don't know…"

"Okay," Sophie didn't want to push. "Just think about it. Things don't start for another two weeks, so we have a little bit of time."

* * *

Alex relaxed against the couch with a giant bowl of popcorn sitting next to her. Gage was lying on his back on the other end with his long legs dangling off the armrest, the top of his head pointing in her direction.

She kept trying to concentrate on the movie, but there were just too many things on her mind to really focus.

Things were really starting to suck.

After the four hour long, tedious drive back from Uncle Carlos', she came home to the news that Dad was leaving. She never said it out loud, but she hated when Dad was gone more than she hated when Daddy was. She was used to James being away. But Logan was there most mornings and most evenings. He was the one she counted on to always just _be_ there. So whenever he had to leave, she wasn't too pleased.

Between that and the failure that had been the previous weekend, she was ready to just throw the towel in. She spoke to Gage on the ride home. He told her to hold out. Everything else had already worked somehow. Maybe this would too. He begged her not to withdrawal yet. She grudgingly agreed.

As if it would do any good, she snorted to herself.

She had gone through the next day at school without much enthusiasm. That evening she said goodbye to Dad. His flight was early the following morning; he would be leaving well before she had to wake up for school so he said his farewells that evening.

When James started talking about summer break, Alex nearly groaned when she remembered their conversation from a month ago. She really _did_ want to go to those places. They sounded so much more fun than playing hockey all summer.

So why did she care about going to some stupid hockey camp, with her stupid ex-best friends, and her even stupider blood relation? _Oh yeah_, for some reason she cared about Gage's feelings too much. _Weird_.

And maybe she enjoyed being right under that _jerk's_ nose without him even knowing about it. She wasn't usually mean, but she did like the idea of playing with his head.

Her Dad hadn't even been gone a day before things got a bit messy with James.

It all started when Alex invited Gage over, which was something Dad had encouraged.

They were just going to work the ice some, maybe watch a movie, or let him check out the totally future-futuristic game wing of the house designed completely with RCM/CBT/Globalnet Sanyoid products. Her dads said they had it built just for _her_ but they loved it just as much, if not more. Uncle Carlos almost did the same thing to his 'crib' but changed things up a lot when he started adding numerous animals to his home. Though he did have _a lot of _swirly slides.

She and Gage had ended up playing laser tag. She was more familiar with the twists and turns and nooks and crannies in the designated laser tag area of her home and almost immediately took him out. He wasn't too happy when she kept on doing it.

Finally, he decided to just blindfold her. She told him they both should be blindfolded, but he was having none of that.

She was forced to rely on her hearing, knowing where the best places to hide were and finding them by feel, until she could hear him approaching.

When she _still_ managed to take him out—a squeak of a sneaker gave him away—he accused her of cheating, which escaladed into a big argument, which led to them wrestling and laughing hysterically, which was how James found them. Gage had his arms around her waist from behind, hoisting her off the floor.

James told Gage that it was 'time to go' in _that_ tone.

Alex waited until Gage left before saying anything to her father. They didn't get into any sort of screaming match. It was more like her expressing her annoyance and explaining that they were just horsing around. She didn't see what was wrong with that. James tried to pretend he just wanted to spend the evening with his daughter, that his reasons for wanting Gage to leave were perfectly legit.

She hadn't believed him.

That was Tuesday. It was now Friday evening.

Nothing had changed as far as 'Operation: Weston' was concerned. But Daddy allowed Gage to come over again. It was nice having Gage over considering he was the only person she dared invite to her home. Before him, she was stuck hanging out in town with the girls on her new hockey team and a few other friendly acquaintances she had met at her new school. She sometimes missed Maggie and Ashley, but not enough to forgive them. She would rather be alone than forgive them. But she'd _really_ rather be with Gage than be alone.

She was hoping James would be too busy tonight with a script his agent sent him to bother them much.

"Pass it," Gage whispered, holding out his hand over his head, not even bothering to turn his head away from the movie to ask.

She grinned and threw a handful of popcorn at his face.

"Not funny," he said, dusting his face off and finding a single piece had fallen into his neck. He tossed it in his mouth then reached out for the bowl again.

"Say 'ah!' she said, smirking, poising her hand to fire another missile.

He gave in and opened his mouth wide.

She took careful aim and tossed the corn, cheering when she made it.

"Woo hoo!"

Gage happened to be taking a breath when the popcorn fell in his mouth, so he ended up coughing violently, struggling to sit up from his awkward position while continuing to hack.

Alex quickly moved the bowl out of the way, wondering why everyone seemed to be choking on their food around her that week, and crawled toward Gage, ready to help prop him up and pound on his back.

He managed to dislodge the corn before she even reached him. He flopped back on the couch again, nearly head butting her. He chewed, grinning up at her. He swallowed and involuntarily coughed again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she looked down at his upside down face, her hair falling forward. She tucked one side behind her ear and shook her head to the other side to get the rest out of the way, giving up when it just fell again.

"Can't get rid of me that easily," he grinned up at her.

"I'm really sorry," she said feeling guilty.

"Hey, it's alright," his grin relaxed to a soft smile. He reached up and pushed the wayward strands up behind her other ear for her.

She stilled, not expecting the gentle touch. She was shocked to find herself a little breathless when his fingers lingered on the side of her face.

He held his breath, seeing the hesitant look on her face, mixed with one that he had never hoped to see. He didn't want to do anything to ruin the moment, so he didn't move or dare to even breathe.

When she started to lean closer to him, he vaguely thought of the upside down Spiderman kiss that had been spoofed many times since the movie first aired, but then all thoughts scattered when her lips were a hairsbreadth away from his. His entire body was frozen. It was like everything in him had shut down, focusing on nothing but her, and silently screaming for joy.

It felt like an eternity passed, her lips just hovering above his. Maybe he should take that step. Maybe he should raise his head just a little and claim the kiss he'd been wanting since he first realized how much he liked her. But Alex had initiated this exchange, and on some level he wanted _her_ to be the one to do it. This had always been her show anyway. He just came along for the ride.

But she _still_ didn't finish her downward descent. Maybe she _was_ waiting for him to do it. He screwed up his courage and was about to just toss all his reservations to the wind and kiss her when she pulled away.

His fingers' felt cold, losing their grip on the side of her warm face when she moved, shifting back to her end of the couch before he could even blink.

His hand dropped and he stared up at the ceiling blankly. _What just happened?_ Then he flinched and scrambled to a sitting position thinking her father must have come into the room or something.

But, no…James Diamond was nowhere to be found.

Gage looked at Alex who was reaching for the bowl she had tossed to the table before helping him with his choking fit. She didn't appear to be flustered or embarrassed. She seemed downright unmoved actually. She grabbed a handful of popcorn with her right hand and stuffed her mouth, then held the bowl out to him with her left.

He took it slowly, still gazing at her, not knowing what to say. She was acting nonchalant and he was perplexed as hell.

"Alex…" he started to say, not sure what words would spill out of his mouth.

"Look!" she said, speaking around her popcorn and pointing at the screen. "This is my favorite part!"

Gage gave in and looked at the huge screen in time to see a totally awesome car chase scene. He understood why it was one of her favorites. He could see her taking chances like that, driving like a complete and total maniac but never once crashing. She was the ultimate daredevil, able to accomplish anything, afraid of nothing.

So why did it feel like she was afraid to kiss him?

* * *

Alex breathed a huge sigh of relief when Gage finally left.

Awkward didn't even begin to cover the past hour. She figured the best way to avoid what nearly happened was to pretend it _didn't_ happen.

She knew he was confused, but she couldn't worry about that. She was too overwhelmed by her own confusion.

This wasn't supposed to happen. She just wanted a nice, normal friend. She wasn't looking for a boyfriend. She wasn't ready for a boyfriend. She had told her dads until she was blue in the face that Gage was _just a friend_. So why had she nearly kissed him?

Until tonight, she hadn't even thought of him that way. And ever since that moment, she couldn't seem to _stop_ thinking about him that way.

"You and Gage have a good time?" James asked softly from the den doorway.

He had been on his best behavior tonight after his little mishap on Tuesday. Logan had given him an earful, insisting that he had to trust Alex. James didn't see how checking up on her meant he didn't trust her. It was like that saying about lockers. 'Locks keep honest people honest.' And the fact that he could pop into a room at any given time would definitely keep nothing from happening. That was his opinion anyway.

It had taken an astonishing amount of willpower to steer clear of the media room. He was quite proud of himself considering the rude trip down memory lane he got when he saw Gage and Alex on Tuesday. He couldn't help remembering his and Katie's first kiss. They had been chasing each other too, teasing and laughing. And it just happened.

He was well aware of how quickly _just friends_ could move on to something else.

Alex nodded her head in answer. She felt even more awkward around him than she'd been around Gage. She had a horrible thought that maybe he somehow knew what had happened. But that wasn't possible. He wouldn't be smiling. And Gage would have been kicked out an hour ago.

"I'm going to bed now," she said quickly, not wanting to be around him until she had a chance to process things. She felt skittish and nervous and guilty. She didn't want him to even _guess_ that something had happened—or almost happened.

James nodded. "Night, sweetie."

"Night, Daddy," Alex said, going to him and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't stay up too late."

"Me?" James said, "Psha! Beauty sleep is always key."

Alex forced a grin. Same ole Daddy.

* * *

"Argh!" Alex moaned, attempting to throw her covers off. The covers were completely tangled from her tossing and turning for the past two hours.

Her mind was racing, jumping from thoughts of Gage, Daddy, Uncle Carlos, even remembering certain moments with Maggie and Ashley… Then there was Kendall Knight.

Why did her life have to be so different from everyone else's? Why did she have to have a famous father? Why wasn't she allowed to know her cousins? Why couldn't she kiss Gage? Why couldn't she forgive her best friends? Why didn't she have a mother? Why didn't her uncle want her in his life?

He probably thought she killed her mother.

Why not? _She_ thought that.

Alex cringed. She was usually good at not thinking about it. She had every reason to be happy. Her dads, her extended family, they all told her how much they loved her. She knew they were glad she existed. But she couldn't shake this feeling that everyone would have been better off if she was never born.

She rolled her eyes and groaned, wiping an errant tear away. Man, she was being melodramatic tonight. She needed to just get over what she couldn't change and _sleep!_

And yet, sleep wouldn't come.

She cursed herself when she felt another tear gathering in her eye. She willed the tears away. She wished Dad was there. He always knew what to say, even when she didn't tell him what was going on in her head. This was why she hated whenever he left for business trips. She'd been sleeping fitfully all week, but tonight's insomia really took the cake.

She looked at the digital clock next to her bed and silently counted six hours ahead. It was currently one in the morning, so it was seven in the morning in London. Dad _might_ be awake…but it was a Saturday. Maybe he wanted to sleep in, or…

She smacked her cheek when another tear slipped down. She grabbed her ear clip and attached it without thinking twice about it. "Call Dad," she said after flicking the tiny switch on the tiny clip.

The phone rang numerous times, and she crossed her fingers hoping he hadn't turned his cell off while he was sleeping.

"Mmph"

"Dad, you awake?"

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, trying to fully wake up when he realized who was on the phone. "Is everyone okay?" He felt his panic rising. Why else would Alex be calling? She knew the time zones and when would be best to call.

"Yes, yes, everyone's okay," she was quick to reassure.

Logan let out a breath of relief. He sat up in bed, reaching for the lamp on the nightstand, wincing when a snap of his fingers created an annoying glare. He decided to just turn the light back off. Bright light was too much at this time of the morning on a Saturday.

"It's, like, one there, right?" Logan said. "What's on your mind?"

"I miss you," Alex said in a small voice, glad that her voice didn't sound tearful. In fact, as soon as she heard his voice the tears stopped.

"I miss you too," he said, feeling guilty for leaving her behind. Usually he wasn't gone for this long. Four days had already passed, two days being his usual travel plan. This time, he would be gone for a couple weeks. He might even be gone for the month, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell her yet. Maybe he could convince James to seriously go for a European summer.

Alex was silent, not sure what she wanted to say. She was just glad to hear his voice and know that he was on the other end, even if she was just listening to him breathe.

"Alex?" Logan asked, waiting for something more. She wouldn't have called this late (or this early) if something wasn't bugging her.

"Papa?" she finally whispered. "Please?"

Logan smiled, his heart melting at the name she hadn't used in years. She only said it now when she was really sad or upset. He knew exactly what she was asking for. Years ago, when he first started his long nights of residency, he hadn't been able to be at home for dinnertime or bedtime. Alex had been so used to him being there, she would throw tantrums for her nanny—and even for James if the actor was home.

After weeks of Alex crying her self to sleep and leaving James and the nanny exhausted beyond belief, Logan finally figured out a way to get her to go to bed without him being home.

So, like clockwork, at seven thirty every evening, no matter what he was doing—even if he was in surgery—he (or an assistant) would call his daughter and put her on speaker.

"Paris, London, Tokyo, just one thing that I gotta do," he began the old song. It had become her personal lullaby.

Alex pulled the covers up, glad they didn't seem as tangled after she flipped them around, and settled back.

"Tuck you in every night on the phone, tuck you in every night."

Alex turned her head into her pillows, finally relaxing completely for the first time all night.

"And I can hardly take another good bye, baby, won't be long,"

She hoped he wouldn't be too much longer in London. What did it matter that he was in the process of developing some new technique to perform dangerous operations more safely? She needed him at home!

"You're the one that I'm waiting on,"

She knew that was illogical. She was proud of everything he had ever done, helping so many people, tons of strangers. She knew that he worked hard to make the life he always dreamed of, and to make her life as happy as he could.

"Tuck you in every night on the phone, Girl, I'll be thinking about you, worldwide, worldwide, worldwide,"

She focused on the lyrics and his voice, feeling all her troublesome thoughts go away.

As he continued through the rest of the song, she fell asleep, her mood and dreams lighter than they'd felt all week.

* * *

Alex cringed, jerking away from the high pitch noise, nearly falling out of bed to escape it, but it seemed to follow her.

She smacked her ear and yelped when the clip of her ear piece stabbed her palm.

_Oh, that's right._ She fell asleep with the ear piece in. And she had completely forgotten to turn it on the silent setting. Judging by the light coming in around her closed bedroom curtains, it was morning. She just wasn't sure how early.

She reached up and pressed the switch, mumbling out a grumpy "Hello."

"Hi, Alex, I want to help you with your problem," a strange female voice said.

Alex cleared her throat and rolled her eyes at the cheerfulness of the voice. "And what problem would that be? Who is this?"

"Weston."

"Who are you?" Alex asked, sitting up. "And what do you know about _that_?"

"Plenty, and I want to help," the voice said.

"So a strange voice on the phone tells me they want to help me and I'm just supposed to say 'sure, okay, sounds great, when do we meet?' Yeah, right!"

"Alex, I'm… I got your number from Sophie," the voice hesitated. "I'm your aunt. Your Aunt Jo."

"_Who?_" Alex was pretty sure she'd never heard of her.

"Jo Knight…I'm Kendall's wife."

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part II – Chapter 4._

Video of Alex & Logan: Alex's Lullaby www . youtube . com / watch ? v = KKKz-JZzsVs (remove the spaces)


	9. Pt II: Ch 4 The trouble with Maggie

I own nothing.

* * *

PART TWO: Chapter 4

* * *

_Dear…_

_Well, I don't know what to call you. I thought about 'little B' like little blind, but Texas Hold 'Em isn't really my favorite game._

_How about 'snake eyes'? Yeah, I like that. Craps is more my style anyway._

_So… dear Snake Eyes,_

_I just found out about you today._

_I suspected for a while, but kept putting it off... I was scared._

_The guys had a show, so I sneaked off to the store and bought the test. Well, four different boxes with two tests each. Just in case the results were messed up or something._

_After drinking more water than my own body weight, and peeing on stick after stick, I couldn't deny the truth. All of them said the same thing._

_I'm pregnant. And, yes, Snake Eyes, it's you._

_I'm not sure who your father is. Maybe you'll come out looking like one of them. Maybe you'll have James' perfect nose and chin. Maybe you'll have Logan's chocolate eyes and crooked grin._

_I guess I should tell you now that you _will _be coming out. It may not be the best of times, but I could never do anything to physically hurt you, Snake Eyes. That, I promise._

_I've been thinking that I need to get away for a while. I'm not ashamed of you, but it's going to be hard for everyone with all the stuff going on. I would keep you if I could, but I'm only sixteen. And I'm worried about your potential dads. They have their entire lives ahead of them._

_James is going to be one of the greatest actors of our time. He loves entertaining people and bringing joy to their lives. And Logan is going to be a doctor. He's always wanted to be a doctor, to help people and take care of them. He's always taking care of someone._

_They would probably step up and drop everything for you, Snake Eyes, I'm not going to lie. But I don't want them to go through the agony of thinking you belong to one and find out it's the other._

_And, well, the major problem is Kendall. He's my brother, and your uncle. He's always there for me, willing to protect me and do anything for me. And he has three best friends—friends that are like family to him. Logan and James? They are two of those friends._

_You won't understand until you're older, but, Snake Eyes, friends are so important. They help you get through the day, help you make memories that you can cherish forever. They are the people you can trust and tell anything and everything, not worrying about them judging you or hurting you._

_But friends can also let you down. They sometimes make mistakes. No one is perfect, _no one!_ And it's really hard to forgive them sometimes because you can't understand how they could do something that horrible in the first place._

_And if you can't forgive, you will lose that friendship and cease being the person you were because how can you remain the same when a part of you is missing?_

_My big brother has always looked out for me, and now it's my turn to look out for him._

_I can't let him know what happened between me and Logan and me and James. I can't let him know about you, Snake Eyes._

_So even though I don't want to… I'm going to have to give you away._

_But first I need to figure out how to have you without anyone, even my mom—your grandma—knowing._

_The only thing I can think of is going to my father's. But I don't know if I can trust him._

_I'll figure out what to do, Snake Eyes… and I'll do it all for you._

… _Your Mom_

* * *

"Lick a toilet?"

The girls all looked at each other in disgust.

"They are so gross!" Emily, Alex's new roommate squealed an octave too high, making everyone's ears wince.

She always thought Ashley was bad with her squeaks and screams and all around girly sounds. But she'd grown accustomed to Ashley over the years. Emily brought new meaning to the word _'hyper'_. She was constantly over-excited, always telling wild stories that may or may not be true, and she was completely off the wall when it came to anything logical. And she _might_ have been just a little _too_ boy crazy. Alex was adjusting to her new roomy, and she liked the girl, she just took some getting used to.

And, in this instance, Emily was right. The boys were extremely gross, but it was to be expected.

After a grueling first week of training, their first weekend had arrived. A lot of the kids decided to spend the weekend at home, especially if they lived close enough to the school. For the ones who stayed for the weekend like Alex—who's parents still had no idea what she was doing—there were chaperones staying with them and organizing group activities to keep them occupied.

They were currently in the middle of a video scavenger hunt. When the remaining teens had found out the plan for their Saturday activity, they decided to up the stakes. Each team, without the organizer's knowledge, made up their _own_ list of things for the other team to accomplish Some of the girls were scared of what the boys would try to make them do, so they stipulated that anything the boys gave _them_ to do, the boys also had to do themselves—and vice versa.

Apparently the boys weren't above licking a toilet.

"Don't they realize that one of _them_ will have to do that too!" Emily whined.

"They have Josh," Alex heard a girl toward the front of the group say. "That boy will do _anything_."

"So, who's it gonna be?" Maggie asked, looking around. "We'll sanitize it and everything."

None of the girls volunteered.

"Why don't _you_ do it," Alex said snidely, smirking at the red head.

Maggie looked startled for a minute, clearly not expecting Alex to directly address her since she hadn't said much to her all week.

Maggie couldn't believe it when Alex showed up that first day of camp. Alex hadn't even tried out, so why was she there? Through the grapevine she discovered that Alex had beaten the famous Kendall Knight for her spot. Most of the girls were a bit in awe of Alex, while some were a little jealous. Maggie mostly just wanted to be friends with Alex again. She wasn't at all surprised that Alex had beaten the man. She was just surprised that Alex was having anything to do with him in the first place.

She desperately wanted to talk to her friend like she used to. Maggie's big mouth had gotten her into a lot of trouble over the years, but never as badly as it had a few months back. She wanted to know what Alex was up to. Clearly she was in the middle of some grand plan. Maggie knew that Ashley wanted to help Alex out as much as she did. They were always down for a classic Diamond-Mitchell mission. But Maggie couldn't figure out _why_ the blonde was at Weston. Was it because of Coach Knight? Maggie and Ashley had only decided to come there because they wanted to approach him about Alex. But now they couldn't do that, not without knowing what Alex was up to. They didn't want to wreck things even more.

And if it wasn't because of Coach Knight, the only other reason Alex would be there was probably that boy, Gage. Maggie had a few choice words for that imbecile. She knew it wasn't fair to think of Gage as an idiot, but she didn't have a lot of patience with him, especially once Ashley found out he hadn't bothered saying _anything_ to Alex after the time they approached him at tryouts.

She wanted to be friends with Alex again, but she wouldn't let Alex walk roughshod all over her either. She had made a mistake, and no matter how much she wanted to fix it, licking a stupid toilet seat was not going to do anything but make her gag all over herself. Alex was just attempting to get a rise out of Maggie. And since Maggie was just as competitive as Alex at times she just _had_ to turn the tables on her.

"Why don't you, _Allie Bishop_?" Maggie finally said, accepting the challenge she read on the blonde's face and throwing it back at her using the fake name that everyone knew her by. Maggie was pretty sure the fake name was to throw off Kendall Knight, so neither she nor Ashley had once mentioned her real name to anyone, silently agreeing to keep the secret without being asked.

She almost smiled when she saw Alex's face flush slightly. But then she sighed. She didn't want to keep fighting with Alex.

Maggie cleared her throat before anyone could say anything else. "Look, we'll just have to skip that one. We'll step up our game for some of the other things, score extra points for those."

"But what if we lose?" Emily said. "I don't want to clean the boys' locker room for a week!"

Maggie and Alex both looked at the girl. The poor platinum blonde didn't even see it coming.

"Great!" Alex exclaimed, jumping up, grinning wildly.

"Excellent!" Maggie said standing as well, on the same wave length as usual with her best—well, _former_ best friend. She walked quickly over to Emily, grabbing her by the upper arm and pulling her up.

Alex took a hold of her other arm. Together, the two girls pulled Emily toward the bathroom.

"Ash! Ready with the camera!" Maggie called out over her shoulder.

"Ready, boss!" Ashley said, giggling but rushing forward, the camera already in place.

"Hit record," Alex muttered, not really wanting to speak to the brunette, but knowing her all too well.

"Oh, right," she pressed the button. She grinned. "Ready for your close up, Em?"

"You guys are kidding, right?" Emily said, disbelief on her face as she was dragged forward. "Ha, ha, funny! Now let me go, ok?"

"It'll take _two_ seconds," Maggie reassured.

"You can do it, Emily!" some of the other girls encouraged.

"Wait! Hold on!" Emily yelped, trying to grab a hold of the door jam. "No! Someone else should do it! I don't want to!"

"But you said you didn't want to clean the locker room," Maggie tisked.

"It's not fair to make one of the other girls complete the task just because _you_ don't want to lose," Alex explained.

"But-but-but-but," Emily stammered, still trying to break free of the firm hold.

It was useless. Alex and Maggie were the tallest of the girls, and the strongest. Alex played center and had to keep in excellent shape since she controlled the field of play and most people were gunning for her. Maggie played right defense. She loved knocking down the other players as an enforcer. It was a great way to get her aggression out. She absolutely adored Dr. Mitchell for convincing her parents to put her in that first squirt class. The other players were always intimidated by her too even though she wasn't husky like most enforcers tended to be. Something about her icy blue eyes had them flinching away. She just wished it was legal to body check in women's hockey. Since it wasn't, she was never able to do as much damage as she really wanted to.

"Violet!" Maggie exclaimed. "You're not above cleaning a toilet seat, are you?"

The spiky black haired girl sprang through the bathroom door, and dove for the cleaning supplies.

"Come on!" Emily exclaimed, her hair flying in her face from her struggles. "You're not really going to make me do it, are you?" She squealed. "Bullying is _so_ two thousand and ten!"

"We're not going to make you do anything," Alex explained patiently. "We're just helping you along. Once you see that there's nothing to it, it will be over and done with. Just like tearing off a Band-aid!"

"But the guys will actually _see_ this!" Emily squawked, staring in horror at the toilet seat that Violet was scrubbing.

"It'll be good as new," Violet said sweetly. "Don't worry! I even have your favorite lip gloss flavor! Strawberry Kiwi! Want me to smear some on?"

"But, the _guys!_" Emily insisted.

"Relax," Maggie said. "You can always get a date with Josh."

"Yeah, he'll be _really_ impressed," Alex said. She figured this probably wouldn't work. Emily was too squeamish. They weren't really going to force her to do it, but it was fun watching her worry.

"But-but-but," Emily started stuttering again.

Violet finished drying the seat off and squirted a glob of fruity lip balm onto the seat. "Rub it in a little and have at it!"

Emily glared at them all. "Fine, I'll do it. But I'm not doing anything else on the list!"

"Do it like you mean it!" Maggie cheered. "We'll get more points that way!"

All the girls in the bathroom and congregating around the doorway tried to hide their smiles. A lot of them were worried that Maggie and Allie would really force Emily to do it and they thought that was going a little too far. They were relieved that the girl had agreed before things got too ugly.

Neither Maggie nor Alex could hold back their satisfied grins. For a split second their eyes met, grinning at each other, but then Alex remembered she wasn't friends with Maggie anymore. Her smile fell and she looked away.

Maggie winced and sighed, "So, what's next?" She turned to glance at the dark-skinned girl hovering in the doorway with the list. "Renee?"

"Eat an entire stick of butter," Renee read, grimacing.

All the girls groaned.

* * *

"Hurry up, hurry up!" Mikey said in a whisper that was way too loud.

Carter frowned, and ducked down behind the couch in the darkened room. He winced when his dirty blonde hair fell into his eyes. He'd been meaning to get his mom to trim it. He swiped it back. "Shh!" he hushed from his new spot.

The eleven year old rolled his eyes and crawled on all fours to meet up with his cousin.

"We should be moving!" Mikey said, still just a little too loud.

Carter winced again, his brown eyes glaring at the boy who was one year younger. "From this moment on, no more talking," the twelve year old whispered at a much lower decibel.

"If we don't win, we'll never live it down," Mikey glared back.

"If you're not quiet, we won't win. And besides, it's just a game," Carter rolled his eyes. "You are taking this entirely too seriously."

Mikey quirked his head to the side, not used to hearing kids his age talk like that. He hadn't seen his cousin in almost a year, but he guessed Carter had grown up a lot in that time…and he did remember his Dad mentioning something about Carter going to some new prep school for smart kids. Dad said that Caleb was going there too, but didn't like it as much as Carter did.

"You talk funny," Mikey said. "Like Uncle Logan."

"_Who_?" Carter shook his head, realizing they were getting distracted and huffed. "Just be quiet, will ya?"

"Well be faster!" the dark haired boy grumbled.

"This is Sneak!" Carter whispered. "You gotta go slow and quiet or you'll get flashed!"

There were two flags that each group of boys needed to capture. The first was in the kitchen and the second was on the other side of the house and in the upstairs playroom. All the lights were turned off, curtains drawn in every room, and all of their parents were walking around with flashlights. The boys had to _sneak_ as quietly as possible from room to room until getting to their flag. If they were caught before they got their first flag, they would have to go back to the beginning—Mikey or Leo's room, depending on the team. If they were caught once they got their first flag, they had to drop it where they were and go back to the kitchen. And if they were caught after getting the second, they had to drop it and go back to the playroom. They had to make their way with both flags to the dining room in order to be pronounced the winners.

"Just follow me," the blonde instructed.

Carter decided that was the best course of action. Mikey was too eager and was going to mess up the entire operation. The younger boy wasn't playing to _play_; he was playing to _win_. Carter didn't like it. He wished he was on Caleb's team. With his twin, he knew it wouldn't be anything but pure fun. But Mikey refused to team up with any of the younger boys and Caleb had wanted to keep an eye on their younger brother. Carter had no choice but to team up with Mikey.

He crawled forward, coming to the edge of the doorway, peering around and looking for any sign of light or movement.

He got to his feet, crouched down and motioned for Mikey to follow him down the hall. The boys went quickly, pausing every now and again. Mikey managed to keep quiet and follow his lead, much to Carter's relief.

After about five more minutes, they arrived in the kitchen and went for the bread box on the counter. Carter opened the box to grab the flag, and Mikey gasped.

"Shh!" Carter hissed again, dropping to the floor and tying the cloth around his wrist with fingers and teeth so he wouldn't accidentally lose it in the dark.

"They already got theirs!" Mikey hissed back. "We're going to lose!"

Carter held a finger up to the boys' lips with a warning glare that the younger boy could barely see.

Mikey moved his head away and complained, "How did they get here first? Caleb has the babies! They don't know how to be quiet!"

Carter looked at him like he was the biggest idiot ever. "What's wrong with you?"

"Me? Nothing!"

"It's just a game," Carter repeated his earlier sentiment. "So what if they win? We'll try to beat them, but it doesn't really matter. You know it'll make Leo happy if they win."

Mikey screwed up his face in disgust. "I don't want to make the booger happy. If he wins, he'll just rub it in my face."

Carter was pretty sure that Leo wouldn't do that. If anything, Mikey would rub it in _Leo's_ face. Carter couldn't understand why Mikey treated his younger brother the way he did. Neither Carter nor Caleb could fathom ever treating their baby brother like that. If anything, they would be proud if Noah beat them. It would mean they had taught him well. Of course, the five year old had a long way to go, but his older brothers' were content to show him the way.

"Whatever," Carter shrugged, but he decided it was time to throw this game in a major way. It looked like Caleb was already ahead anyway, but Carter would rather not win than let Mikey have something else to make fun of Leo about.

His plan worked.

He managed to get them sent back to the kitchen _twice_: once by Aunt Sophie and once by his Mom.

When the excited screams of the younger boys and the whoops from Caleb could be heard from the dining room, Carter stood up and sighed, quietly pleased. "Well, I guess that means they won."

Mikey groaned and got to his feet, dragging his heels as he followed Carter into the room erupting with celebration.

"Carter! We did it!" Noah squealed, his white blonde hair squashed down by the black knit cap tilting sideways that Caleb must have put on his head to help him look stealthy. His green eyes, so much like their father's, sparkled as he ran toward his brother.

Carter grinned and picked him up, hoisting the boy to sit on his shoulder in a victory bump. "You certainly did! Great job, bro!"

Leo was grinning from ear to ear too. "That's so cool!" He held up his hand for a high-five from Caleb.

Caleb met the eight-year-old's hand and gave his twin brother a wink. Carter winked back, letting him know that, as usual, there were no hard feelings.

Leo turned to his brother. "Mikey! Isn't it awesome?" He started rushing toward him, eyes glowing.

"Yea, sure, whatever," Mikey mumbled, not bothering to give his brother any congratulations.

"So? Who won?" Sophie asked, arriving with Carlos right behind her. Kendall and Jo made their way into the room from the entrance on the other side of the room.

"We did! We did!" Noah exclaimed from his perch on Carter's shoulder.

Kendall grinned at his youngest and went to snatch him up, launching him into a human airplane. The five year old laughed, loving attention from his dad. "Higher! Higher!"

Caleb noticed that Carter was looking at him. He raised a bushy eyebrow, silently asking his identical twin 'what's up?' Carter nodded toward Mikey and Leo.

Caleb summed up the situation in seconds. Mikey was still ignoring his brother; and Leo looked hurt, though he was trying to play it off by fiddling with his helmet.

"I'm not surprised," Sophie said. "I had to send this one back once," she placed a hand on Mikey's head, "but didn't see Caleb's team at all."

"I had to send them back too," Jo smiled playfully, messing up Carter's hair even more.

"Aw, Mom," Carter said, shooing her away. "Stop."

Jo sighed, but still kept her smile. The twins hadn't let her be all mushy with them in years, though it was starting to seem like they were open to at least _one_ public hug a month now. Noah was still at that age where he didn't see anything wrong with hugging his mother. He was turning five next month and would start kindergarten in the fall. She knew it was only a matter of time before her baby started pushing her away too. Until then, she was going to savor every minute.

Part of her wished she and Kendall had also been blessed with a daughter because girls had a tendency to be more into parental displays of affection, but it just wasn't meant to be. After waiting seven years to have another child, they were both pretty sure Noah was going to be the last. Of course, they hadn't planned on having another one in the first place, but Noah just came along unexpectedly.

"I didn't get to stop anybody," Carlos pouted.

"Neither did I," Kendall nodded. "Guess they're just that good."

"And maybe my partner just really sucks!" Mikey whined, glaring at Carter before storming off.

"Michelangelo Garcia!" Sophie said loudly, about to take off after her rude son.

"I got him," Caleb said, motioning for Sophie to stop. "It's cool Auntie S."

Sophie looked like she wanted to argue, but settled down when Carter insisted, "Really, it's okay."

Kendall watched Caleb chase after the boy. He looked in question toward Carter.

"Don't worry, Dad," Carter said. "You know Caleb. He may be only three minutes older than me, but he thinks he's responsible for everybody. He'll fix it."

Kendall knew he was right. Of all his boys, Caleb took the most after him in disposition. Caleb always stepped up as the man of the family when Kendall was away, which had been a lot when he still played professionally. Caleb was always there for his brothers, and always willing to help anyone if he could.

He was also extremely protective of his family. Kendall groaned inwardly, remembering the phone call he'd gotten from Jo right before the end of school. There had literally been two days left of school, and three days left before they were going to leave Los Angeles for Pipestone. There had been some altercation at the school, where some boys were trying to mess with Carter and Caleb stepped in. Of course, Carter was just as capable of taking care of himself as Caleb was, but Caleb just couldn't let Carter handle the situation alone. Carter would have settled it in as easy a manner as possible, being the more calm and logical one. Caleb took it to blows.

And now Caleb might not be able to go back to the expensive prep school the boys had been attending for the past year. Caleb had barely made it into the program to begin with, but he hadn't wanted to be left behind when Carter begged his parents to let him go.

Kendall had no idea where Carter got his brains from, but the boy's test scores were off the charts. Every day his son was starting to sound more and more like a boy Kendall knew and grew up with years ago. A boy that was now as dead to Kendall as one could get without actually being dead.

"Uncle Carlos?" Noah said, giving his uncle the most adorable smile.

"Hmm?" Carlos asked, laughing to himself. Kendall's youngest was a little imp, but also extremely irresistible. He knew how to wrap everyone around his little finger and manipulate them to do his will. Carlos not withstanding.

"Can we now?" Noah asked.

Carlos grinned.

"Who wants ice cream?" Carlos asked the magic words. He was still worried about his son but knew that Caleb had the same way about him that Kendall had at that age. And he was definitely going to talk to Mikey later—though Sophie would probably get to him first.

"Me! Me!" Leo and Noah both cried out. Noah launched himself out of his father's arms and chased after the eight year old who was racing after his Dad.

Kendall watched the procession, shaking his head when Noah jumped onto Leo's back and the eight year old tried to keep the five year old from falling off.

"Guess I'll start opening drapes and turning on lights," Sophie shrugged.

"I'll come with you!" Jo said, following behind.

Kendall nodded, waiting for them to leave, before deciding to follow the path Mikey and Caleb had taken.

The two women went from room to room, using their flashlights to see in front of them, hoping not to trip over anything the boys might have accidentally left in their wake.

"Be careful!" Jo said when it looked like Sophie stumbled on the way up the stairs. "Maybe turning _all_ the lights off wasn't the best idea."

"Psh, it was great," Sophie said. "And whatever keeps a group of boys happy is _always_ a good idea."

Jo looked down the stairs, making sure no one had followed them before asking, "How's operation 'Destroy Carlos' Wrist Phone' going?"

Sophie groaned. "I have now destroyed _five_ phones. He doesn't suspect anything, just thinks he has a case of bad luck."

"Why would he think that?" Jo asked.

"Because I broke the bathroom mirror while he was in the shower," Sophie shrugged. "I asked him to toss some lotion I left in the shower over the stall. I broke the mirror at the same time he threw it. So now he thinks he has bad luck."

"Aren't you devious!" Jo laughed.

"Well, it was the only way," Sophie shrugged. "How else am I going to block all calls from James?"

"Has he been calling a lot?" Jo asked.

"He's called at least once a day wanting to talk to Carlos," Sophie said. "I tell you, if you hadn't gotten him that last minute spot, none of this would have happened."

Jo grinned to herself thinking of all the things that she had accomplished in the last week.

First, she called and spoke to her niece for the first time ever. The girl hadn't been very forthcoming, but she did seem interested in what Jo had to say. After laying out her plan, the girl grudgingly agreed to stay in touch.

Then Jo began making phone calls and managed to get an old producer friend of hers to call James and ask him to host Saturday Night Live, one of the longest running shows ever. She knew he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to be on their season finale—especially if there was a chance for him to perform live vocally too. Since James had never followed his dream of being a solo artist, jumping into acting right after the band ended, she noticed he always jumped at the chance to show off his voice in a movie or hosting gig. Performing on SNL would be a giant dose of nostalgia for him. James probably could have easily gotten the spot himself just by calling, but he hadn't really thought about it until he got the call from them. Alex had been concerned that the show's rehearsals _only _lasted for a week, but Jo just kept calling people. If James was going to be in New York, when he was hardly ever on the east coast, she was going to make sure every producer on that side of the country knew he was in town.

Alex convinced James to let her stay in Pipestone instead of going to the Big Apple, stating that he was just going to be working anyway.

Sophie 'accidentally' pulled Carlos' arm under the kitchen sink faucet about twenty minutes before James tried to call him. He ended up calling Sophie who sweetly stated that Carlos wasn't home at the moment. Sophie had been the one to finalize all the plans for Alex's _stay_.

"Carlos never really had that much luck with phones anyway," Jo laughed, remembering. "Not only was he always accidentally jumping into the pool at the Palmwoods with it in his pocket, but I remember the guys never let him live it down the time he dropped his phone in the toilet when he was having a tweet sweep while taking a dump."

Sophie burst out laughing, never hearing that story before, but not surprised.

"Buddha Bob, the maintenance guy, was able to retrieve it, not that Carlos wanted it back after that," Jo couldn't stop herself from laughing too.

"How long do you think you can keep this up with the phones?"

"I have no idea," Sophie huffed.

"Well, hopefully Alex will approach Kendall soon and we can stop stalling James and Carlos. Thank goodness Logan is so busy in London," Jo said. "I don't know why she hasn't said anything to him yet. Course, it's only been a week, maybe she's still working up her nerve or something?"

Sophie cleared her throat. "Yeah, probably." She tried to relax her face muscles.

Jo looked at her, knowing that face, "Sophie? What aren't you telling me?"

Sophie looked guilty, but tried to cover it up, "I'm working on a new collection! The theme is pants! It's really cool actually, using pieces of material from all sorts of different styles and designs over the decades and—"

"Sophie!" Jo interrupted. "You have 'uh oh' face! You forget, I'm a mom, I've seen that face way too many times. What is it?"

Sophie coughed. "I sorta didn't tell you everything…but only because it doesn't matter if she doesn't want to. If she's there, there's more of a chance of it happening and I just wanted her to know him, and to know _you_, and I'm sorry!"

Jo felt like her head was spinning. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Let's try that again."

"Alex doesn't want to know Kendall," Sophie admitted. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't even _like_ him."

"Then why…" Jo started feeling a little sick. "Sophie, what did you do?"

"You and I have both been on the same page for years," Sophie tried to explain. "We both know that Kendall should be in her life, and vice versa. We both thought that it would probably never happen. When she told me she wanted to go to Weston, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to finally bring them together… but Carlos was already against it when Alex asked him, so I couldn't involve him. And I knew that you wouldn't agree to help unless you thought that it was what _she_ wanted. So I lied, and I'm sorry…"

Jo was glaring at her. Sophie was practically her best friend, and she had _lied_ to her? About something this monumental?

"I want what's best for Alex," Sophie continued when she saw the look Jo was giving her. "Alex needs all of her family in her life, and if it takes a pair of interfering Aunts to do it, why not?"

"Because if I had known," Jo uttered. "I wouldn't have done this. I wanted to help her. Now it just turns out I'm manipulating my friends and my husband for nothing! _Sophie!_"

"It'll be okay! You'll see!" Sophie insisted. "It's been almost sixteen years. Kendall has kids of his own now. Once he realizes who she is, there's no _way_ he will be able to walk away from her again."

"But Sophie," Jo sighed, trying to quell her anger, knowing that her friend's heart was in the right place. "If _she_ doesn't want anything to do with him, then how is he going to feel when _she_ walks away from _him_?"

"She won't," Sophie persisted.

"I can't believe this," Jo pressed her hand to her forehead. "This is all going to blow up in our faces, isn't it?"

"Nope, it's not," Sophie said, trying to interject cheerfulness into the messy situation. "Everything will be fine. And before you know it, the family will all be together again."

Jo let out a sarcastic laugh. "For that to happen, Kendall would have to forgive James and Logan. He might be able to get to the point where he accepts Alex. But, forgive the guys? _That_ is never going to happen."

Sophie gave a little shrug.

"Don't even hope for it, Sophie," Jo said, recognizing the look on her face again. "It'll only lead to big time disappointment. Believe me, I know."

"I'll take what I can get," Sophie said. "I'm really sorry."

"Yeah, well, you better be," Jo said, opening the last heavy curtain in the giant upstairs hallway.

And she was going to be sorry too if this entire mess led to Kendall hating her. Though after thirteen years of marriage, she doubted he would leave her over this… she was pretty sure anyway. Their lives weren't perfect, but they always worked through everything together.

Jo had a very successful television career. In the past twenty years she had worked on six different shows, being a series regular on two of them (one being New Town High). Once the twins arrived, she asked to become more of a recurring guest star on the medical drama she was working on at the time. Since then, she had done plenty of other recurring spots, but made sure to be around her kids as much as possible.

Once Kendall went pro, life became even more chaotic, forcing them to split their time almost equally between St. Cloud and Los Angeles. During that time the boys had a tutor who homeschooled them. When Noah came along, Jo and Kendall decided it would be best to settle in Minnesota, her taking a break from work indefinitely and allowing the boys to go to a normal school. After Kendall's injury three years later, Jo received an offer for a sitcom that co starred an old friend, so they ended up moving back to Los Angeles and had been there for the past two years.

She had originally been worried about the boys and the constant moving, but they didn't mind at all. They adjusted well to both of their homes, making friends easily and keeping in touch with them whenever they moved. They were probably the most well adjusted boys on the planet—plenty of her friends who had unruly pre-teens were envious. Jo wasn't surprised though. Neither she nor Kendall had ever _really_ been wild or rebellious either, always respectful of everyone and just plain _nice_. They did get into trouble sometimes, but who didn't?

The twins looked mostly like her. While they were showing all signs of shooting up as tall as Kendall, they had her brown eyes, her lighter shade of dirty blonde hair, and their noses were more like hers than his. They did have the bushy eyebrows, but that could have been from her too—she and Kendall joked about that a lot. The boys were mirror images with their dimples. Carter's dimple was on the left side of his face, while Caleb's was on the right. The dimple was definitely a Knight trademark.

Noah was his father, all the way. His face was so much like Kendall's at that age, with a smile like an angel. The only difference between the baby and Kendall was the white blonde hair which would probably darken as he got older. For now, it was like a misleading halo atop his head. Her baby had his father's eyes too—green with a little gold.

She knew only one other child with eyes like that.

Through the years, she had kept up with Alex, aka Carlita Alexandria Katerina Diamond-Mitchell, as Carlos so _generously_ named her. She didn't think Alex knew—or Logan and James for that matter—but Carlos had originally added "Kendra" to the massive mix of middle names, just randomly naming the girl after everyone and adding an 'a' to the end of each. Carlos always said that he added the 'Alexandria' part because he thought it sounded nice. Before the birth certificate could be officially submitted by nursing staff, Kendall told Carlos to scratch out the 'Kendra'.

Jo only knew about it because she was there. Carlos had called her before Kendall woke up. She was finishing up some last minute reshoots in Los Angeles for the movie she'd been filming in South Carolina earlier that year. She dropped everything, ticking her production company off but she hadn't cared.

When she arrived, the mess she walked into was enough to make a preacher drink.

James and Logan had reached the point where they were lashing out at each other in their grief. It was all verbal arguments, thank goodness, but someone needed to intervene with them before it _did_ escalade to physical violence. The guys just weren't coping well at all.

Kendall awoke by the time she arrived, but he was a stone wall, not allowing anyone close to him and not giving an inch.

When she walked up to Carlos, who was furiously scribbling on a paper at the nurse's station, she arrived just in time to see what he was scratching out.

Even Carlos seemed like he had reached the end of his rope. She didn't know everything Kendall had said to Carlos once he woke up, but it must have been bad if Carlos' stricken face was any indication.

Carlos took one look at her and nearly fell over in relief. He had been torn between all his friends and the baby plus he was trying to fill Kendall's shoes and his feet didn't seem big enough for them.

She told him to take care of James and Logan while she went to Kendall. He eagerly followed her instructions, thankful to have a brief reprieve from making decisions.

Kendall barely looked at her. He wouldn't hold her hand. He wouldn't talk. He just sat silently, glaring off into space, occasionally swiping angrily at a wayward tear.

And so she just sat next to him. Never too far away, but not as close as she wanted to be.

It was a place she grew to know well over the next couple of months. But she would never leave him, no matter how much he wanted her to leave him alone, no matter _what_.

And he _did _keep her at arms length. He went a little crazy at first, coming up with crazy outlandish things to try to push her away. He tried everything—even going so far as to accuse her of messing around with Carlos. She would just roll her eyes and remind him that she and Carlos weren't the ones that betrayed his trust. And just because Logan and James had done so, didn't mean that everyone in his life was untrustworthy. She didn't point out that the reason she was even spending time around Carlos in the first place was because they were helping Mrs. Knight with the funeral arrangements. The point seemed moot, and mentioning James and Logan's names were enough to shut him up.

She couldn't be mad at him for going that far though. She knew that he hadn't allowed himself to give in to his grief yet. So he was lashing out at everyone in anger, being extra paranoid and delusional.

It took him nearly two months to finally give in.

He desperately needed to get out of their apartment. He moved in with her when they returned to Los Angeles. It happened that way mostly because he wouldn't set foot in his old apartment he shared with the guys. So she let him crash. She was the one who ended up packing up all his stuff at the Palmwoods and bringing it to hers. She tried to talk to him about whether he wanted to get his own place, but when he crashed, that's exactly what he did. He spent most of his days on the couch, flipping channels, or blasting his ipod in his ears. It would have been pathetic if it wasn't so tragic. He was so lost, not knowing what to do with him self now that the band was over and the boys were out of his life. She kept trying to find ways to reach him, to help him find some direction. It was hard. So many times she felt like banging her head against a wall. He was just so stubborn and so angry all the time!

Finally, _finally_, something happened to break the cycle.

And it was all because of something so simple, so minute, that you could have blinked and you would have missed it.

She managed to convince him to go with her to a movie.

They walked past a playground.

A little girl was begging a slightly older boy to push her on a swing. The boy agreed.

And then the little girl said, "You are the bestest big brother in the whole wide world!"

And just like that, Kendall broke down.

Kendall had always been one of the strongest people she ever knew. She never thought she'd ever see him that broken, that helpless. It scared her to death.

Until that moment, she was positive she could get him through this. But as she struggled to get him over to a park bench, his face a mess of tears, plopping down only to have him bury his head in her shoulder and sob the most heart wrenching sounds she had ever heard, she admitted to herself that she was no longer certain of anything.

She woke up the next morning, even more scared of what the day would bring. But it was all for naught.

For the first time in two months, Kendall was already awake, showered, and eating breakfast before her alarm pealed. As she stumbled out of her room, she could only watch in amazement when he lifted his equipment bag on his shoulder and announced he was off to the rink. He didn't smile, didn't give any other explanation. Just headed out.

It wasn't everything, but it was enough.

And just like that, she knew everything would eventually, somehow, be okay.

* * *

Another chorus of groans could be heard throughout the group.

"That's it!" Maggie said. "Scissors! We're going to cut out each of the items on the list and each take one out of a hat. Whatever you get is what you do!"

Alex was quite alright with that idea. They had decided to get the original list done first—the one the organizers made. It was predictably lame and easy to accomplish. Who couldn't find a pair of birds in a tree, or go to a grocery store and buy _one_ grape?

Now they just needed to finish the monstrosity that was the boys list combined with the items the girls had given the boys to do (they had to do them too, since it was only fair). The girls must have been getting restless because no one was stepping up for anything, even some of their own original ideas.

So Maggie's idea to draw a task out of a hat was perfect.

Until Alex drew out the one item she _really_ didn't want.

Maggie saw Alex blanch. She wanted to ask, but she had to keep going since she had the hat. The red head motioned for Ashley to go see what Alex had drawn.

Ash strolled over, as nonchalantly as possible, and peered over Alex's shoulder. She immediately knew what was wrong.

She walked in front of Alex and dropped her own task in the blonde's lap before grabbing the paper from Alex's fingers.

Alex looked down and picked up the new strip: _Hug a tree. Then jump out of it._

She looked up and caught Ashley's eye. She couldn't help the look of gratitude that washed over her face.

Ashley just nodded and held up her new strip in the air, "Kiss someone of the same sex! Alright, who's ready to plant one on these luscious ladies!"

Alex shook her head and began searching the grounds for the perfect tree to somersault out of. Whereas Maggie was the computer genius, Ashley was the gymnastic queen. The task was beyond perfect for Ashley—the bubbly brunette was probably the one to put it _onto _the list. Of course, Alex wasn't too bad at gymnastics either so she knew she could make the fall from the tree look pretty sick.

Both of her dads could back flip, and she could too. She was just one of those people who tended to be good at everything—well, almost everything. She couldn't sing to save her life. Fortunately, her life didn't need saving.

* * *

The boys all snickered as Greg and Will smacked their lips together for the camera.

Greg pulled back and sighed dramatically, "I love you, babe!"

Will fluttered his lashes flirtatiously, "Oh, G, you're the only man for me."

The boys died laughing and Greg and Will took a bow.

"Alright, alright," Eddie said, pressing the stop button on the recorder. "Next is… sing a song by..._who?_ Big Time Rush? What's that?"

"It's Coach Knight's old band," Gage interjected. He'd been the one to toss the task into the pot, not being able to think of anything else.

He hadn't really had a chance to download all the songs from the band yet. After spending a few early mornings over the past week with the hockey player giving him tips and working with him privately, he had a sort of hero worship for the man. He'd been waiting for the opportunity to listen to everything and read up on some stuff. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Coach Knight. To say that he had a man-crush on their fearless leader would be going over board…he was just a _little_ obsessed.

"Who even _knows_ that, dude?" Eddie asked, perplexed. The other guys looked to be in the same boat as him. "I didn't even know he was in a band. When'd it come out? During the stone age?"

"I guess that means I gotta do it," Gage winced.

"Uh, _yeah_," Eddie replied sarcastically.

Gage blushed, feeling nervous and awkward as hell. He really only knew one song. He hadn't needed to download it to remember it. The song had been around for a long time, one you would still hear on the stations every now and then. He was sure once he started singing the boys would recognize it.

But getting started was going to _suck_!

* * *

"Which one is Dusty?"

"The ugly one," Mikey muttered, sitting on a giant rock, letting his legs dangle and kick the rock beneath him.

Caleb squinted at the pair of piglets looking back and forth at each. "Uh, right…"

Mikey sighed, brought his head up, and pointed. "The one on the right. The other is Rusty."

Caleb just nodded. He really wasn't there to learn about the animals anyway. He hopped up on the rock and sat next to his cousin.

"What's up, Mike?"

"Nothing."

"You were mean to Carter," Caleb said.

"He got us caught," Mikey explained. "If _you_ had been on my team, we could have won!"

"You were mean to Leo, too," Caleb pointed out.

Mikey just shrugged and started swinging his legs faster.

"My Dad always says that being a big brother is super important. That we have a responsibility" the word felt big in his mouth, he wasn't used to saying it "to look out for our little bros. We shouldn't be mean."

"What does your Dad know anyway?" Mikey snapped, feeling like he was being yelled at by Caleb just like his mother would yell at him. He didn't like being told when he was wrong. "It's not like he has a brother. My Dad doesn't count, they're not really related."

"He had a sister," Caleb said.

Kendall winced from where he stood near the boys, listening to their conversation. He was curious to see his son in action, and he wanted to know what was bothering Mikey as well.

Mikey's feet stopped moving and he finally looked up at Caleb. "Really?"

"Yeah, she died before I was born," Caleb explained.

"How?"

"Mom said she had a problem with her lungs," Caleb shrugged. "She used some big word, but probably only Carter would remember it."

_Pulmonary embolism_, Kendall silently supplied, _among other things._

"How old was she?"

"Sixteen."

"But that's only…"

"Four years older than me," Caleb nodded.

"But sisters and brothers aren't supposed to die," Mikey said naively.

_Truer words had never been said_.

"It happens?" Caleb guessed, not sure what to say to that.

"Well, Leo's never gonna die," Mikey said stubbornly. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Caleb, daring him to disagree. Deep down he was feeling scared. If Uncle Kendall's sister died… then really anyone could… but he didn't want to think about not having his mom or his dad or… his brother.

Caleb wasn't going to argue with him, even if the kid wasn't making much sense.

"Anyway, being a big brother is important," Caleb said again. "We have a job."

"I don't need any money," the younger boy said, frowning.

Kendall smiled softly at that. It was hard listening to his son talk about Katie. He wished that his boys had grown up knowing her. He needed to focus on the conversation again before he got caught up in memories of his sister.

"You don't do it for money," Caleb rolled his eyes. "You do it because it's the right thing to do."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Mikey said. "Why don't _you_ be his big brother? He likes you more than me anyway." He hadn't missed the way Leo went for a high five with Caleb after the game. He couldn't help feeling a little jealous when that happened.

"No, he doesn't," the blonde shook his head, crinkling his nose.

"Yes, he does," the black haired boy nodded.

"He _wanted_ to be on your team," Caleb pointed out. "He _wanted_ you to be happy when he won. He _wanted_ you to act like Carter was with Noah.'

"No, he didn't," Mikey disagreed again.

"Leo looks up to you. That's what little brothers' do. They look up to their big brothers because they know more stuff. They want to be just like them. Noah's always following me and Carter around," Caleb gave a small smirk. "He thinks we're totally awesome."

"Leo's always gettin in the way, trying to do all the same things I do," Mikey complained.

"He only does that because he wants to be just like you," Caleb explained.

"Really?" Mikey didn't quite believe him, but it sort of made sense.

"The kid worships you," Caleb laughed and gave Mikey's shoulder a nudge and pretending to bow toward him. "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy," he mocked, making Mikey laugh too.

"So, how do I be a better big brother?"

"Do stuff with him, don't tell him to go away, be happy for him when he wins and stuff," Caleb tried to really think of what to say. He was used to doing the right thing without thinking about it, so it was difficult putting everything into words for Mikey. "Teach him everything you know, be proud of him."

"But, what about me? Shouldn't someone be proud of me? Why don't I get anything just because I gotta be the big brother?"

"If he wasn't proud of you, he wouldn't want to be like you," Caleb said.

"So he _is_ proud of me?" Mikey asked.

"Yup," Caleb nodded.

"And your parents are too. That's what they always say anyway," Caleb continued. "Parents are supposed to be proud of you. I think moms and dads are just supposed to be like that."

"What about people who don't have moms?"

Caleb shrugged. "Everyone's got a mom."

"Alex has two dads. Her mom died when she was born," Mikey explained. "Does that mean they're less proud or more proud since she has two dads?"

Kendall felt the old familiar pang. He had blocked that girl out of his life, building the biggest wall imaginable so that he barely ever thought of her. Only when someone accidentally mentioned her around him was he forced to remember she existed. He punched back any emotions he had on _that_ topic and instead shook his head in disgust. Logan and James _still_ hadn't learned to accept responsibility for what they had done. It had been almost sixteen years and they _still_ hadn't bothered finding out which one fathered Katie's kid.

Caleb raised an eyebrow. "How can someone have two dads?"

"I dunno, she just does."

"Weird, and I dunno, I guess having two dads is the same as having a mom and a dad…but without all the girly stuff."

"Cool," Mikey said. "Cuz Alex is awesome. She's like… a big sister to me," he said, eyes widening as he thought about his conversation with Caleb and how it applied to Alex.

Caleb nodded. "I think you're finally getting it."

The boys laughed and started pushing each other to see who would fall off the rock first.

And Kendall watched his oldest, pride swelling in his chest, glad to know that Caleb was growing up right. His boys were the most important thing to him in this world. Caleb was right, parents were supposed to be proud of their children.

But Kendall might just be a little more proud_er_ than all of them.

* * *

Wolf whistles coming from the rec room down the hall had Kendall following the sounds to see what the kids were up to.

Jo was still at Carlos'. Noah had been hanging with the boys all week but at the end of every day he baulked at staying the night without his parents. Kendall had to stay on campus and Jo stayed with him, letting the boys have their fun, just as if they were having a big summer long sleep over. Noah was going to try to stay the night that night instead of making Jo take him with her.

Jo wanted to let Noah sleep for a while before leaving. She didn't want to get a call as soon as she got to campus that the baby had woken up and she had to go back and pick him up.

So, Kendall returned to check on the campers. He needed to talk to Gage anyway, figure out a schedule for next week's private training. He needed to try to avoid Coach Wilson at all costs. Even though Kendall was in charge, the boys' coach didn't appreciate him giving Gage private time. He didn't think any of the other boys were aware of it since he usually met with Gage so early in the morning that no one was awake. It wasn't really their business anyway. They weren't the ones with nerves that grated like Swiss cheese.

Gage wasn't bad at speed drills, or working the puck. His slap shot was actually fairly decent—more accurate than a lot of people's seeing as how the slap shot was the most difficult one to give any sort of accuracy _to_. Allie had been right about Gage being good.

He just always seemed to crumble under the pressure. Kendall had taken to playing little one-on-one games with Gage and talking to him the entire time. He would talk about television shows, favorite musical groups, sports besides hockey, anything to take Gage's mind off of winning. Gage needed to get into the habit of reacting without thinking or worrying. His actions on the ice needed to become a part of his subconscious if he were to ever improve.

Kendall had a small breakthrough toward the end of their last session. He started asking Gage questions about Allie. It was the only other thing he knew about Gage, so he decided that maybe she could take his mind off what he was doing.

It had worked with flying colors.

Gage started talking about the girl like she was the most amazing creature on the earth. He started going on and on about all the things she could do, every little thing she had ever said about marine biology—a topic Kendall was completely lost on. He even talked about everything Allie had ever said or done in the field of hockey which was the most intriguing part. Gage was literally talking about hockey while playing a _good_ game of hockey, something the coach never thought would be possible.

Allie was the key to Gage's success.

"That's so hot, man," one of the boys was saying as Kendall peaked in the doorway.

The midget class was split into boys and girls, each team sitting in rows of metal chairs, watching the big screen on the wall.

He saw Allie and the other girl—he thought her name was Maggie—dragging another girl to a toilet. The boys laughed, listening to her complain. The girl in question was blushing in her chair and looked extremely uncomfortable.

The video showed the girl actually licking a toilet seat. Kendall's mouth dropped open, shocked, wondering what in the world these kids had been doing all day.

The wolf whistles started again. "Again!" one of the boys shouted.

Maggie shook her head, "We've already watched it twice, Josh. Sorry, Em!"

Emily turned her eyes toward the ceiling and prayed she would just disappear.

"Aw, go put your hobo outfit back on and hit the road," Josh said, laughing.

Everyone started laughing too. Before the licking of the toilet, the girls had played a video of their 'stunning' rendition of _Any Kind of Guy_.

Maggie had managed to pull the Big Time Rush task, and immediately went about getting all the girls into different costumes: doctor, dancer, hobo, maintenance man, cop, chef, mime. None of the girls except for Ashley and Alex knew the song, so it was up to Maggie and Ashley to sing it while the rest pretended to dance to music they had never heard.

Alex hadn't participated.

"I think its time for _your_ song, don't you agree Ash?" Maggie said with faux sweetness.

"I totally agree," Ashley said, flicking the remote to load the next video clip. "Now which song did you guys go with? _Big Night_? Or, I know, _Famous_! I can see it now, 'I wanna be famous!' Cuz I think I'm hot and rock at hockey so look-at-me, look-at-me!"

"Have no clue what your talking bout," Eddie said, "just play it, will ya?" It wasn't all that funny actually, so he wanted to get the boring part over so they could get to more of the girls' stuff. He wanted to see the girl on girl kiss really badly.

As the boys' video started, Ashley desperately wished they _had_ chosen _Famous_, or even _Til I Forget About You_, even though Kendall had been lead on that.

Anything was better than this song.

This was the last song Big Time Rush had ever recorded. This was the song that was recorded for the biggest movie of 2014—a movie that won ten academy awards, including best picture and best original song. This was the song that won a Grammy and got Kendall Knight's face on the cover of Rolling Stone for the second time—the first time happening during their summer tour of 2014 when all four guys were featured. This was the song that people _still_ knew today, sixteen years later, because it became an instant classic. Not many people, especially teenagers, knew who it was by, but they recognized it whenever they heard it.

_I watched you crawl  
I helped you walk  
And whenever you fell,  
I lifted you up_

Kendall slowly backed out of the room. He'd been enjoying the kids' antics, figuring out that they must have made their own game. As long as they were occupied with something legal, he was good with it. But he couldn't stand to listen to this song. Even if Gage was doing a fairly decent job with it, only sharp in some parts.

He still remembered when he first got the music sheets. He was pissed that Gustavo had written a song so personal to the current situation. He felt like the man was trying to cash in on his agony. But the rotund man hadn't been. Writing songs had always been Gustavo's way of expressing his feelings. He was just as upset about Katie's death as everyone else. Gustavo needed to get the guys to do one last song before their contracts were officially up, but couldn't write anything except the sad ballad. So after writing it, he basically forced Kendall to record it.

The future hockey player had barely gotten through the recording sessions. At least he was able to do his parts without the other guys around.

_I swore to protect you  
Be there when you need me  
Why was I so blind?_

_That's what I'm left with…  
Why?_

_(Why) Why does the sun still rise?  
(Why) Why did I have to say goodbye?  
(Why) Why am I still alive?  
(Why) When I'm dying inside?_

_Can't you see it in my eyes?_  
_This is my own demise_

Gage slowly skirted out of his seat, feeling more and more nervous and anxious as the song went on. He knew his face was beet red. He had to back away from the group. He couldn't just sit there while everyone watched this. It was way too embarrassing. He looked over at Alex. He figured she would at least give him a reassuring smile. But, no…

Those girls, Maggie and Ashley, had moved and were actually sitting on either side of Alex. Maggie was trying not to look at him, but he could see her slip up and glare every once in a while. He knew the girls didn't like him because he hadn't remembered to tell Alex about the girls' request. But, seriously? He thought Alex didn't like _them_; and he didn't think he should involve himself since Alex didn't seem to want him to know anything about the argument. So why was she sitting in between both of them? And why was she staring at the floor instead of the screen?

Maybe his singing was just that bad…

_I'm losing control  
All these memories haunting me  
Just want to fade away  
To a better place  
And that's with you._

_The guilt is raging  
The anger building  
Clawing at my insides_

Gage slid to the back wall, wanting to just run from the room. At least some of the other guys had started to sing the chorus with him the second time around. Mostly because they realized they _did_ know the song.

He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and slid across the wall, leaning forward a little so he could peer out into the hallway.

He saw Coach Knight leaning against the wall, looking down at the floor just like Alex had been. The man looked really sad.

Gage widened his eyes. This was his fault. He was the one who chose the song. He remembered that his Aunt Vicky said the band fell apart when Kendall's sister died. This song definitely sounded like what happened when you lost someone… _was this song about that sister?_

He decided not to approach him, mainly because he had no idea what to say. He returned to his seat in time for the final chorus.

_And still!  
Why?_

_(Why) Why does the sun still rise?  
(Why) Why did I have to say goodbye?  
(Why) Why am I still alive?  
(Why) When I'm dying inside?_

Can't you see it in my eyes?

_This is my own demise._

When the video cut out, the boys did some light clapping, and the girls giggled, clapping along with them.

"So how about this same sex kiss?" Eddie said, smirking.

Gage saw Maggie whisper to the dark skinned girl on her other side. Renee took the remote from Ashley.

"We like to call this segment, _luscious lady lips_!" Renee said as she pressed the play button to reveal Ashley and Violet. The two girls were taking turns zooming the lense directly at their lips—pouting and squeezing and making faces, teasing the camera, before finally kissing.

The boys were all going crazy over the luscious lips show, and the rest of the girls were laughing it up too, so no one noticed Alex get up and leave.

Just like no one noticed Ashley and Maggie following right behind her.

Except for Gage, that is.

He made a split second decision to follow them. He wanted to know what was bothering Alex, just like he knew something had been bothering her all week—heck, something had been bothering her since their _almost_ kiss.

Neither of them had spoken of it since it happened. He got the feeling she was going to keep pretending like it never did. At least she wasn't ignoring him like she was those other two girls.

* * *

"_Al_—" Maggie looked around to make sure no one could hear her say Alex's real name. "_Alex! _Wait!"

Alex angrily brushed at the tears in her eyes. "Just leave me alone."

"No," Maggie said, catching up to her, with Ashley not far behind. "The song—"

"It's about my mother, so what?" Alex whispered harshly, looking around. "It's not like we haven't heard it before."

The girls knew all the Big Time Rush songs back and forwards. Until they were ten, they used to always play them, dancing around Alex's house and giggling, putting on mediocre performances for Alex's dads who would smile and clap even though they must have sounded horrible, especially since Alex was practically tone death. It was one of the worlds' greatest ironies that Alex, coming from such a vocally gifted family, couldn't carry a tune. But that hadn't stopped her, or any of them, from having fun and acting like their favorite music group whose members they adored.

"And why are you following me anyway?" Alex glared. "We're not friends anymore! Just leave me alone!"

"Please stop," Maggie insisted. "I'm so sorry about what I said. Please just forgive me; I know I shouldn't have said it. I know it wasn't right. We've been best friends forever, doesn't that count for _some_thing?"

Alex just wanted them to go away. They had hurt her and humiliated her, throwing her biggest fear in her face and making her life a living hell until she finally convinced her dads to let her change schools.

The argument that ended their friendship happened back in March.

But the real issue began two years ago, when she was thirteen, right after James found her and brought her home.

Her Dad, who flew in from Minnesota when he found out she was missing, had been sleeping in one of the big arm chairs next to her bed. He hadn't wanted to go to the guest bedroom James had prepared for him. He had been clingy and wouldn't leave her side. Uncle Carlos had gone to the room designated for him though.

Alex couldn't sleep. She was afraid she would have the nightmares again. Nightmares that began right after Daddy told her he was going to take the test to find out who her real father was. She kept dreaming about being dragged away from her dads. First it would be James tearing her away from Logan; then it would be Logan tearing her away from James. Each time, all she could think was… she couldn't choose who she wanted more. She loved them both. And if this test decided for her… she was too scared to live without either of them.

That was why she ran away. Daddy said they would have to take some of his blood and some of her blood to do it. She figured if she wasn't there, they couldn't take hers. Then they couldn't take the test and no one would ever have to know the truth!

She was thirteen, what did she know?

She disappeared for twelve hours that day. It was a miracle nothing happened to her. She stayed close to populated areas, just strolling through the shops, not really looking at anything, just intent on missing the test.

As it got later and later, and she realized she wasn't sure where she was at, she started to get worried. Maybe she shouldn't have left Daddy's house. Maybe she should have just poked the doctor in the eye when he tried to draw her blood. Los Angeles was a big town, and it got scarier as it got later and later.

She tried to turn on her wrist phone, contemplating calling Daddy, knowing she probably had a million missed calls. She started to worry when she realized she forgot to charge the thing before leaving. How was she supposed to call for a ride now?

Then she found the merry go round. It was one Daddy had taken her to a lot. He always made sure she got to ride the white horse. He knew it was her favorite. He always bought her a soft pretzel and laughed at the scoff on her face when he suggested a corn dog. She never could figure out why Uncle Carlos liked them so much. She thought they were disgusting. It was there that she had the best times with him since his marriage. They never brought Melanie with them. It was always their special place. He had even let her comb his hair on a bench there once, mainly because her hair had gotten messed up and she wouldn't let him fix it unless _she_ could comb his.

It was there, that night, that she saw Daddy. He looked so upset. He was on the phone and she could hear him, "I can't find her, Logan. I don't know where else to look. Nobody else has found her either." He sounded so sad. His usually perfect hair was a mess, like he had been running his hands through it all day. As if to prove her theory, he threaded his fingers through it and made it look even worse. "Yeah, call them." James let out a shaky breath after he hung up.

She saw him put his head in his hands. She couldn't let him keep being so sad. This wasn't what she wanted. She just didn't want to lose either of her dads.

"Daddy?"

And just like that, James was grabbing her and alternating between high pitched yelling and hugging her to death.

She just put up with it, not saying much, just answering his questions about where she had been. He called Logan and then drove her back to his house. Dad and Uncle Carlos arrived in the middle of the night. She stayed in her room, not really wanting to see Melanie or talk to Daddy about the test, though she resolved to bring a very sharp pencil with her when Daddy dragged her to see the doctor.

She left her room, making sure not to disturb Dad, and went downstairs to get a snack. She hadn't eaten much after she ran away, but she hadn't been hungry when she got home. Now she was starving.

She went downstairs and that was when she heard the arguing.

"James, you have to do it!"

"No, I don't," James argued. "And I won't. We don't need to know. We like our lives the way they are."

"Well, I _don't_," Melanie practically screamed, her blonde hair in direct contrast to the flush that was spreading across her face. "I _told_ you, you can't just keep bouncing her back and forth between the two of you!"

"Yes, we can," he said. "She belongs to both of us. Parents do it all the time."

"This is just crazy," Melanie reasoned, clearly trying to calm down. "A girl only needs _one_ father, and if you're really it, than you need to know."

"She needs both of us," James disagreed. "She's scared to death she'll lose one of us! I'm not going to scare my daughter anymore!"

"But what if she's not _yours_!" Melanie exploded again.

"Who cares!" he said, shrugging.

"I do!"

"You shouldn't."

"I do not want to spend the next five years of my life helping to raise some girl who absolutely hates me if I don't have to!" Melanie's face was _so _red. Alex thought she looked like a tomato, a bruised tomato considering the purple-blue eye shadow on her step mother's eyelids. It looked like Melanie was about to explode. Alex really wouldn't have minded that.

"She doesn't hate you," he insisted. "And you _knew_ she would always be a part of my life be_fore_ we got married!" If Alex could have laughed right then, she would have. Daddy must be delusional if he still thought she didn't hate Melanie. Hadn't Dad told him what happened everytime he dragged her to the airport to go visit James?

"Be that as it may, I would really like to know if I have to keep putting up with her or if she should just be Logan's problem. If she even belongs to _either_ of you! _I don't want to raise some whore's child if I don't have to!_"

Alex had never seen Daddy hit anyone in anger. And he didn't this time either. But she did see him raise his hand like he was going to slap Melanie.

Melanie gasped and backed away, suddenly looking extremely guilty.

James looked at his hand like he'd never seen it before. He lowered it and breathed hard.

"I want a divorce."

"_No_," Melanie practically deflated in front of him. "That's not what I meant to say, I know she was important to you. I'm sorry. I'll try to make it work with Alex. I love you, you're my husband. I don't want to lose you."

"I'll…I'll be staying in Alex's room tonight...with my _family_," he said. "My lawyers will contact yours. We'll get this over with as soon as possible."

"James! Stop! You can't just—"

"Give it up, Mel," he said softly. "It's over."

"James—"

But Daddy kept walking away from Melanie. Alex forgot about getting a snack and went racing for her room. She didn't want him to know she saw the fight, but she was relieved that she wouldn't have to take the test or see Melanie anymore—the woman never liked Alex even if she pretended to in front of James. She was able to sleep that night without the nightmares.

The following morning she was left with only one question.

Why had Melanie called her mom a whore?

Over the next couple of weeks, she would ask Maggie and Ashley about it. They had all heard the foul term, they were in middle school and at that age kids loved to talk about everything and anything they heard come out of high school kids' mouths.

The more she learned, the more she understood exactly why she had two dads. She always knew that her family wasn't normal. But with age came understanding and suddenly it all became crystal clear. She had never really put the pieces together and thought of it as something so dirty. But now, when confronted with her stepmother's words, she realized that in order for her to have two fathers and not know which one was biologically _hers_, it meant that her mother had slept with both of them around the same time.

A lot of middle schoolers were more street savy than her or her friends. She had always been protected and raised in a happy atmosphere. Curse words were rarely used. Sex wasn't a word her and her friends talked about a lot. They knew plenty of other students were curious about it. But she and her friends had always been too busy to care about something that they were too young to even think about anyway. She wasn't surprised that she had never put the pieces together. But she was surprised at how it made her feel.

Every time someone—Dad, Daddy, Uncle Carlos, Grandmother Knight—compared her to her mother after that, she couldn't help but feel scared. She didn't _want_ to be like her. She didn't understand how her mother could be that way. All the other kids thought being a 'whore' was one of the worst things in the world.

Maggie and Ashley knew of her fears. They were her best friends. They always told each other everything no matter what it was because they trusted each other completely.

That early morning in March, 2030, their bond was ripped apart and Alex was never the same.

Alex was trying to figure out how to tell Maggie what happened at study group the night before.

Macallister Pratt, known affectionately as Mac by everyone at school, was the star quarterback. He was blonde haired, blue eyed, six foot two, broad shouldered, smart—the all around package. And Maggie was completely head over heels for him.

Alex was forced to partner with the pigskin heads and a couple pompom girls. She went to the group, didn't have any fun, learned even less, and left as soon as humanly possible. Mac, who was a sweetheart even if he was mister popularity, decided to see her off. He had been talking to her all night, trying to drag her into a conversation. She hadn't been into it. She just wanted to go home. She wasn't sure what she had done, but maybe she _had_ given Mac the wrong signs because he actually _kissed_ her.

It was the shortest kiss in the world, mainly because Alex jerked away almost immediately. This was the guy her best friend had a huge crush on. All year long, Maggie just kept talking about him—what he had for lunch, who he was dating, how he played in his last game, how close she got to stand to him in line for picture day.

Alex dreaded telling Maggie what happened. She kept hoping it wouldn't be worse than the time freshman year they both liked Brock Bengie Drummond—the guy with two first names. He was more of the loner type, not into any extracurricular activities, but he had a cute smile and even if he didn't have any other redeeming qualities, for some reason both Maggie and Alex liked him. Maggie got hurt when Brock turned his attention toward Alex.

Sometimes Alex wished she and her best friends were boys. If they were, they could compete for a girl without getting their feelings involved. Just shout, "She will be mine!" and try to make it so, like a game. It was vastly different with girls. For one, girls were more sensitive, even when they were drama-free down to earth types. If one girl was chosen over the other, it messed with their self image.

Maggie hadn't shown signs of ever lacking confidence in the entire time Alex knew her. Then Brock Bengie Drummond asked Alex out. Alex told him she had to ask her dad first, since it would be her first date and she was still fourteen. Before she got the chance to see her dad though, she realized how much it was hurting Maggie to know that Brock Bengie chose Alex over her. So she told him that her dad said no, and then stopped trying to put herself in his direct path.

She also resolved to never let a boy come between her friendship with Maggie—or even Ashley—again.

And, until now, that resolve had remained firm. She didn't like Mac. She didn't want to date Mac. She didn't want anything to do with Mac. She actually had a crush on the captain of the boys' ice hockey team! But because Mac had kissed her, she was going to have to let her best friend know about it. And Maggie was going to be so upset. Alex knew that putting off the inevitable wasn't going to help, but she was planning on doing so as long as possible.

But the silly pompom girls in Alex's study group had other ideas. Apparently one of them must have been snooping and caught the show, even taking a picture of the 'money shot'. They all knew about Maggie's crush. It wasn't a big secret. And half the girls at Edina High were in love with Mac anyway. The pompom girls didn't like the girls' hockey team and the feeling was mutual.

So the pompom girls wasted no time in teasing Maggie about it; the redhead was greeted by the news before she could walk into the building.

Alex was finishing up at her locker, ready to meet up with her friends and start the day, deciding to put the heavy discussion to the side until that evening.

"How could you?" Maggie hissed from behind her.

Alex turned quickly, staring at her in confusion. "How could I…what?"

"You kissed Mac!" Maggie was positively furious, her red hair only emphasizing her gigantic temper.

Alex started shaking her head, looking at Ashley who was giving her a look of extreme disapproval.

"No, I didn't—" she tried to deny and explain what really happened, but Maggie was too upset to listen.

"You _know_ how much I like him!" Maggie's voice was rising and attracting notice from the other students. "Why do you have to steal everyone I like?"

"I didn't kiss him," Alex insisted. "He—"

"I've seen the picture!" Maggie threw her hands up. "Stop trying to deny what you did!"

"But—" she looked toward Ashley, hoping for help in that corner, but Ashley seemed to be really angry with her too. She shouldn't have been surprised; Ashley always took Maggie's side. Usually Maggie's side was Alex's side, so they didn't have any problem until now.

"You know what?" Maggie was screaming, her temper completely unraveling.

"Mag—" Ashley started to interrupt, probably realizing that Maggie was starting to get a little too worked up, which would only lead to a colossal mess.

"You're a _whore_!" Maggie yelled at Alex. "Just like your mother!"

Alex was frozen at first. Absolutely unable to move. She could hear other students snickering. She could see Maggie glaring daggers at her. She could see Ashley put her hand over Maggie's mouth like that would stop the horrible words that had already been uttered.

And then she jumped on Maggie.

Thank goodness none of the teachers had been in the hall. Alex would have probably been forced to tell her Dad exactly why she was fighting with Maggie. And she would rather eat chalk.

Ashley had managed to pry the blonde off of Maggie while another teammate dragged Maggie away from the fight.

Alex had said through clenched teeth. "Just so you know, _he_ kissed me! I didn't want to! I don't even _like_ him! And what you just said? How could you! We're through! Hear that, Maggie? Done! Don't come near me ever again!" Alex pushed Ashley away, glaring at the brunette. "And the same goes for you too! I don't _need _either of you!"

After the fight, things never got back to normal. Maggie tried to apologize once her temper had cooled enough for her to realize that Alex hadn't deserved any of what she said to her. Alex wasn't having any of it. To make matters worse, word had spread at school like wildfire. Everyone now knew one of Alex's deepest darkest secrets. At least they still didn't know who her mother was. And since most people at school had only ever seen her with Logan—or a sunglass, hoodie wearing James—they still just thought that Logan was her father, but even the truth of that was joked about by the stupid pompom girls.

The damage to Alex's reputation was nasty. And she couldn't escape the rumors. The rest of the hockey team were her biggest supporters and protectors, trying to help their captain as much they could. At the end of her rope, she begged Daddy to let her switch schools, hoping the rumors wouldn't follow her.

They hadn't.

And now she was making a new life at a new school with new acquaintances, like the girls hockey team members, and making new friends…well, just Gage, but still.

Of course, her feelings about her mother were still a touchy subject for her, so when Gage started to sing _Demise_, a song that marked the end of her dads' band and her mother's life, it was everything she could do to keep from running from the room until the song was over.

"It didn't count for anything to you," Alex said, glaring. "Otherwise, you would never have said those things."

Gage finally caught up to the girls, peering around the corner of the building in time to catch the tale end of Alex's words. _What things_? He probably shouldn't eavesdrop, but he was worried about Alex.

"You know how I get when I'm mad," Maggie said. "I didn't mean it. And I know I said it at the worst time, but please…"

"You called me a whore!" Alex snapped.

Gage drew in a quick breath. _What the_?

"I know you're not! You could never be! That's just not you," Maggie said.

"I didn't even kiss him! _He_ kissed me!" Alex said.

_Someone kissed Alex?_ Gage felt a twist of jealousy in his stomach.

"You knew, Maggie," Alex said, her voice catching. "You knew how much it would hurt me. That's why you said it. You just wanted to hurt me. What kind of a friend _does_ that?"

"Alex, we know you're not your mother," Ashley inputted, trying to help but only hindering.

"How do you even know she was like that? Huh?" Alex defended. "Just because my stupid step mother called her it, doesn't make it true! You guys always said it didn't! And you always said I wasn't either!

"And I'm not!" Alex continued, screaming in their faces. "I'm not a whore! I've never even had a boyfriend! I can't even kiss a guy I really like! How in the world could I be…be…" she started crying, hating them even more for making her confront these emotions.

As much as he was pretty sure the guy Alex wanted to kiss was himself, Gage couldn't focus on the joy that brought him. Alex was seriously hurting. He had no idea what her friends had done to her and why, but the more he learned, the more he disliked them.

Alex was growing increasingly inconsolable. Maggie and Ashley both tried to wrap their arms around her, only to have the crying teen push them away.

She didn't say anything else to them. She was pretty sure she had said all she really needed to say anyway. Plus, she couldn't stop crying. She left them and went back to her dorm, thankful that Emily was still in the rec room, probably flirting with Josh.

She really wanted to just leave this place, but she didn't have anywhere else to go.

* * *

Gage took a shaky breath, and ducked out of sight before Maggie or Ashley could see him. He wanted to strangle the girls, but that was entirely too ungentlemanly.

He waited for them to pass before he made his way back to the rec room. The videos were finished, the girls had won, and everyone was just hanging out, playing ping pong, card games, dome hockey, darts, or any of the other various activities available.

He wanted to follow Alex more than anything, but knew she probably wasn't up for company, not after the messy exit she had made. He was also pretty positive she would be mortified if she knew he had overheard. He needed to get her to tell _him_ about it. He needed to get her to open up. If he didn't, he probably never would be able to reach her...and then he'd miss out on his chance to be with the most amazing girl he had ever met.

"Hey, Gage," Will said, catching his eye. "You know what I just realized?"

"What?" he murmured, not really paying much attention.

"That band that Coach Knight was in?"

"What about it?"

"That actor was in it too, you know, the one in that new movie with Vicky Schwartz? Man, is she a hottie," Will grinned.

"Which actor?" Gage asked, trying to remember a list of latest releases.

"You know, that guy all the women love? They keep comparing him to those old actors like Brad Pitt or George Clooney when they still had all their teeth?"

Gage's mouth dropped open. _Was Will talking about who he _thought_ he was talking about?_

"You know, James Diamond?"

_Yeah, he was._

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part II – Chapter 5._

* * *

_Demise_ was original, with a little help on the second verse from Papa Roach's "I Devise My Own Demise".

Video of Alex & Logan: Alex's Lullaby www . youtube . com / watch ? v = KKKz-JZzsVs (remove the spaces)

See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie


	10. Pt II: Ch 5 Ashley

I own nothing.

* * *

PART TWO: Chapter 5

* * *

_Dear Snake Eyes,_

_I did it. I managed to leave the guys and my mom behind. I'm living at my father's house._

_Your grandpa. He really came through for me. I was so scared he'd want nothing to do with me and you when he found out. I was scared he'd call Mom and tell her even though I asked him not to._

_Instead, he listened and he hugged me. He just held me, Snake Eyes. It was the first time I ever really felt like I had a father. I've had my mother my entire life…but I never knew what having a father was like._

_Sure, Kendall tried to fill that role as much as he could, but he was only three years older than me. Not exactly father-aged. And since we're siblings, we fight just like any other siblings would sometimes. Not all the time though!_

_Maybe you'll have a brother or a sister one day. Maybe once we find the perfect family for you, they'll already have a child that you can play with and learn to love as much as I love my brother?_

_Dad's gonna help me find the perfect family for you, Snake Eyes. He's already started searching through newspapers and talking to people and lawyers. He's consulted some adoption agencies too. We're going to start interviewing really soon._

_Don't worry, Snake Eyes, I'm going to find the best family for you. I may not be able to be there to take care of you, but I would rather die than give you to someone who doesn't know how special you are. _

_You ARE special, Snake Eyes. The most specialist baby in the entire world! You're going to be so handsome or beautiful (Sorry, I still don't know if you're going to be a girl or boy. We find out in a soon!). It doesn't matter which guy, Logan or James, is your real father, either way you have some pretty nice genes. I'm not just being vain and saying this because all mothers say that about their children. I'm telling you the truth. You _will_ be amazing looking. And so smart… and… well, I guess if you're reading this then you already know how awesome you are. Everything about you is perfect. Never forget that._

… _I really miss my brother, though. Even with my father being so amazing, I can't help but miss Kendall. I wish he was here. He always knows the right thing to say. He always knows how to take care of me._

_I hate keeping secrets from him._

_Well, I love you, Snake Eyes. I'll write more later._

_Love,_

_Your Mom_

* * *

Ashley Fairfield was not having a good week.

She hadn't had a good month, or even a good period of time since March.

Alex, Maggie, and she had always been together. From the time they were old enough to start pre-K, they were connected at the hip.

Ashley's parents were only too happy to have the other two girls come over and play with their darling bubbly little girl that they doted on. Maggie always wanted to escape her full house of brothers, and Alex's Dad always made sure Alex didn't get left behind even though they lived so much further away.

Ashley didn't mind the times when Maggie got a little bossy. She knew that the redhead needed a little bit of control since her older brothers were always telling her what to do and her younger brothers were always bothering her, never leaving her alone for long. Ashley always went with the flow, not having any problem playing 'house' if that's what Maggie wanted to do, or 'school', or 'Barbies', or blocks—the list went on. It didn't take much to make Ashley happy. She was always eager to please. She just wanted to make Maggie as happy as she.

With the way Ashley's parents treated her, she could have just as easily become a spoiled brat but she had her mother's disposition. She also had Alex as a best friend.

Alex was the one to balance out their little trio. If Maggie was being a little too overbearing, Alex was the first to call her on it. Alex wouldn't let her take too much advantage of Ashley. Whenever Maggie _did_ act too crazy, Alex knew things weren't going easy for the redhead at home. She always tried to cheer Maggie up. It was Alex who first got Mags so interested in computers by giving her an old laptop when Dr. Mitchell updated all the computers in their house. It was a way for the troubled girl to stay in one spot, not moving, not drawing any notice from the kids crawling all over the house. It was a way for Mags to survive home-life by mentally escaping without going too crazy and taking it out on her friends.

Doctor Mitchell helped with the rest of Maggie's pent-up aggression when he convinced the other parents to sign them up for hockey.

Alex had always been a fan of the sport. Ashley and Maggie had seen a couple games on the television at Alex's insistence. They both could recognize the logo for the Minnesota Wild. They had seen Alex, at the age of six, run across the school yard yelling "Canucks Suck! Canucks Suck!" because an older kid was wearing paraphernalia for one of the Wild's biggest rivals, the Vancouver Canucks. Maggie's parents could care less about whether their only daughter played hockey. The only problem being that with eight kids they could scarcely afford, they couldn't pay for Maggie to join. Dr. Mitchell had stepped up to help with that too, even going so far as to contact the league to set up financial help for other kids who wanted to play but couldn't afford it.

Ashley's parents had a _big_ problem with allowing their little angel to join one of the most vicious sports in existence. Even if all the other girls were six and just as tiny, Mr. and Mrs. Fairfield still had visions of their precious and perfect daughter with broken bones, misplaced teeth. The paranoia went on and on.

It was Alex who decided to teach Ashley everything she already knew about hockey in hopes of showing the Fairfields that even with the violence of the game, Ashley could hold her own.

Alex's dads had started teaching her how to skate as soon as she could walk. She was two when she received her first little hockey stick. Two and _one_ day the first time she hit someone with her stick. Two and a half the first time she, wobbling, managed to make a puck go two feet into an open goal without any assistance. Three when she stopped falling every time she tried to skate without holding her dads' hands.

By the time Alex was through with Ashley—and Maggie, who insisted she also wanted to learn some things before practice started—, the girl could not only hold her own, she was so in love with hockey she was near tears in front of her parents, begging them to let her play.

Doctor Mitchell was on hand that day, trying to soothe Ashley while reminding the Fairfields that girls' hockey wasn't as bad as boys. He also pointed out that with the rules of the league it was far less likely for a girl to get seriously injured. He finally dragged the Fairfields to a practice for the youngest girls just to show them exactly what would be happening.

The Fairfields were shocked to find that the majority of the children could barely skate while moving a puck with their sticks. They didn't know anything about _handling_ that stick, and not one of them even thought about hurting someone else because they were too busy giggling and trying to stay upright. Their fears were relieved, realizing that the adult hockey they knew and watched was _nothing_ like the kid hockey that appeared completely harmless.

Ashley only ever knocked out _one_ tooth and it was a baby one, much to her parent's relief. Any time Ashley got a bruise she was sure to hide it before her parents noticed. She was always afraid they would change their mind about letting her play.

They never changed their minds though, and Ashley was now one of the best players on her high school team. Until March, Edina's girls' team was a force to be reckoned with. Now that Alex was gone, they were all a little lost.

Ashley especially. Even though Maggie was a bossy bit of goods and had no problem giving directions, things just weren't the same without Alex. Ashley knew that Maggie was just as lost as she. One third of their group was missing and even Ashley and Maggie had been drifting apart because of it.

Until the day Maggie approached her in school, waving a brochure about a hockey camp that _the_ Kendall Knight would be at, their entire friendship seemed lost too.

Ashley couldn't help but join Maggie. She saw how excited the redhead was for the first time in months. She found out that the desperate girl was prepared to use all of her meager savings to pay for three-fourths of the program if she got in; while her parents, who had more money now that five sons had graduated and moved out, provided the last quarter.

Ashley's parents easily agreed to fork over the admission fee if she got in. So, the plan was set in motion. They wanted Alex back and they thought that maybe, _somehow_, this would be the way.

Of course, Alex showing up at tryouts and then _enrolling_ in the camp too threw a gigantic monkey wrench into their plans.

After they tried to talk to Alex following the video scavenger hunt, Ashley could barely speak to Maggie again. That evening in their dorm room the redhead kept trying to think of ways to get through to Alex, even deciding that maybe they should just go ahead and talk to Coach Knight without revealing that his niece was in residence yet.

Ashley just tuned her out. She was still harboring some serious resentment toward Maggie for ruining all of their friendships. Those feelings had bubbled to the surface again that evening. She wasn't usually mired in such bad thoughts, but she couldn't help it this time. She couldn't put that fresh bubbly face to the world and pretend that everything was okay.

Ashley finally fell into a fitful sleep that Saturday night, hoping things would look better in the morning.

They didn't.

The brunette tried to keep herself together but that helpless feeling was rushing through her again. That feeling she felt when she first realized that Alex had turned her back on _her_ as well as Maggie. That feeling she felt every time Alex continued to ignore her even though she wasn't the one who said the hurtful things. That feeling she felt when she arrived at school one morning in March and Alex wasn't there. That feeling she felt when one week passed without one sighting of the blonde only to _finally_ hear the gossip that Alex changed schools.

She hated feeling helpless. She hated feeling like she didn't know what to do. That was why she latched on to people who _did_ tell her what to do.

Why couldn't she figure this out? And why couldn't Alex forgive her? It wasn't like Ashley had _really_ done anything wrong!

Ashley Fairfield knew that she had reached her limit and it was only a matter of time before she finally exploded. She had never exploded in anger in her _life_. But the sadness permeating her existence was doing strange things to her.

* * *

"_What?_"

Gage jumped, not expecting the loud scream.

"Why are you staring at me?" Ashley turned on him and glared with a look that strangely rivaled Maggie's dangerous one. At least the red head wasn't around at the moment.

Ashley did _not_ look like her usual self. She was always bubbly and bright eyed and bushy-tailed. She was always smiling and always put together. Her hair was cut short and the ends were usually curled in such a way that they bounced around her face wherever she went. He had only known her for a week, but he knew enough to know she wasn't the typical female hockey player. Most girls came off as tough, and none of them paid _that_ much attention to their appearance. Not that the other girls were beastly or manly, they just usually only went for a little bit of lip gloss and a ponytail. He was willing to bet Ashley had brought more makeup and hair stuff than all of the other girls combined. He had an older sister, so he knew exactly _how_ long someone who looked that perfect spent in the bathroom in the morning getting ready. That was why he was sometimes late to school if he didn't get up before she got to the bathroom; and it was also why he spent most mornings pushing the million little tubes and irons out of the way just so he could get to the sink. He _hated_ not having his own private bathroom.

Ashley looked like crap. She looked like she hadn't even _washed_ her hair that morning. Her eyes were puffy. She wasn't smiling. And the air of fun that usually surrounded her was replaced with one of depression.

It was Sunday evening. Almost an entire day had passed since Gage had overheard the conversation between the three girls. He hadn't seen Alex at all that day. He had tried texting her but she said she wasn't feeling well and had spent all day in her room.

Since he didn't have practice and he still wasn't sure how to approach Alex, he decided to finally sit down and do the research he'd been putting off.

He discovered the mother-load.

The famous actor, James Diamond, and the world renowned—even at his young age—doctor, Logan Mitchell, were two of the original members of Big Time Rush. The other members were the hockey star, Kendall Knight, and the bleeding heart, Carlos Garcia.

Or, as Alex affectionately called him, _Uncle_ Carlos.

His mind was reeling as he read old article after old article about the group. How they all started in the small town of Sherwood, Minnesota near Minneapolis. How they were discovered by the great Gustavo Rocque and taken to Los Angeles to record their first demo. How their careers took off. He read all the celebrity gossip past and present, learning more and more about Kendall and his wife, as well as James and _his_ wife. Logan and Carlos were barely ever involved in any gossip, the two mostly painted as the good boys of the group. Kendall and James were more in the spotlight. He read about the death of Kendall's sister. He noticed there weren't many interviews around that time and, besides the mention of a press conference to give the pertinent details, Kendall had never once spoken to any reporter or journalist about his sister's death.

He read the article from Rolling Stone magazine that had come out in June 2014, two months before the death of the girl. The entire band was featured on the cover. The article was about their latest tour and the successful platinum release of their third album. The guys had also talked a bit about the future, already throwing out hints that they would be bowing out soon, or at least taking a few steps back to focus on things that were more important to them.

He read the second feature article from Rolling Stone's issue, January 2015. Kendall was the only one on the cover this time, using an old picture from the June photo shoot—Gage could tell because one of the outfits were the same. This was Kendall in what appeared to be a private moment, probably taken by accident in outtakes or something. He wasn't smiling from ear to ear as usual. He was glancing down and to the right. He looked pensive and stoic, completely different from the joy that usually graced his face. The article wasn't even an interview with the man. It was just all about the man. The musical world was still a bit stunned by the end of Big Time Rush but with the release of the new single, Demise, the fans raced to purchase the track. The single was number one for weeks and the musical magazine couldn't ignore the success.

The song had been recorded in November for a movie soundtrack, and released almost immediately. Before the movie was released in December, the song was already at number one. Some say the song and who it was by helped the movie's success. Either way, Oscar buzz was all around it.

Gage read the articles about The Academy Awards that year, 2015. Gustavo Rocque was there to accept the Oscar for Best Original Song. He was the one who wrote the song; the performer didn't receive the accolades unless they had been involved in the writing process. Gage saw pictures of Logan, James, and Carlos on the red carpet with Rocque, but there was a noticeable lack of Kendall.

When the song kept on going strong, staying at number one for longer than anyone ever anticipated, the articles started talking 'Grammy'. And then Gage found the articles with pictures from the Grammys in 2016. Once again, the other three were on the red carpet—there were plenty of articles giving James an 'A+' for his appearance. The other three were pictured as accepting the award. But, again, nearly a year later, Kendall was _still_ nowhere to be seen.

There was an interesting article from around that time that drew a lot of Gage's interest.

Some journalist was confused about the band's breakup. He couldn't understand why the band didn't just take a break then start working together again. He pointed out that another boy band, the Backstreet Boys, had a member lose a sister. It was devastating when it happened, but the band didn't end. The journalist noted that Kendall Knight was never seen in the presence of his band mates anymore.

Gage couldn't help but wonder if that had something to do with why Alex didn't like Kendall. He wondered what it was all about. He also _really_ wanted to know why Alex hadn't mentioned the connection her dads had to the man. That wasn't something most people would keep quiet about.

Saturday night he had been willing to wait until he could get Alex to talk to him about what was going on, but after finding out all this stuff with Kendall he knew he couldn't wait any longer.

He knew Alex wouldn't talk to him yet, and he didn't want to approach Coach Knight until he knew more about the situation. He didn't want to admit it, but Maggie freaked him out a little. He concluded that Ashley was probably his best bet and decided to seek her out for some answers.

"Why are you here?"

"It's a lounge," Ashley shrugged and made a circular motion with her hand to indicate the couch she was sitting on, "where you sit. And you didn't answer the question. Why are you staring at me?"

"I don't mean, _here_ here," Gage corrected. "I mean, at this place. Why travel four hours to go to a hockey camp?"

"I could ask you the same question," she replied, still not answering his question.

"Yeah, but I asked you first," he replied, sitting in a chair across from her, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "Why are you here? It's not a coincidence that _you_ just happened to show up here, is it? Not when Kendall Knight is here too."

Ashley seemed to ease back into her former personality for a second, looking up almost hopefully. "She told you about that?"

"And still, you're ignoring my question," he pointed out, not answering the question on purpose. He wouldn't learn anything if she knew Alex hadn't told _him_ anything. He could already tell that she and Maggie were protective of Alex and her secrets.

"Cuz, if she told you, then maybe that's a good sign."

"…How so?" He knew he shouldn't keep leading her on, making her think he knew things he didn't. But he had Alex's best interests at heart and he couldn't help her without knowing everything.

"Have you seen Alex and the way she interacts with everyone?" Ashley began.

"She doesn't really…" he said, remembering all the times he wondered about Alex. She knew all the girls on her team, and most of the boys on his team at school, but she didn't seem to make any connections with anyone except for him. Not that he minded, but he _did_ wonder why she wasn't more open to them. He just figured she had always been like that.

Ashley shook her head. "She wasn't like that before. _Everybody_ knew Alex. She was always willing to help anyone out if she could. Like this one time when we were nine. I got her and Maggie to enter a beauty pageant with me. One of the other girls got chicken pox the week before the pageant. She was so upset, and Alex had made friends with her. So she convinced all of us girls to do the pageant with pinkish dots all over our faces. That way the girl could still enter and not worry about the fading marks on her face since we all looked diseased." Ashley laughed. "All three of us ended up with chicken pox after that…

"When…" she sighed. "Alex and Maggie had a big argument a few months back and everything changed. _Alex _changed. She became this loner that no one really recognized any more. She _did_ have friends other than me and Maggie, but it wasn't enough. She switched schools and, until we got here, we haven't seen or heard from her at all in the past three months. If she actually told you about Kendall, then you're a friend she can trust. I didn't think she'd trust anyone again that quickly."

Gage shifted. _Crap_. He needed to stop doing this. He couldn't keep up his current line of questioning. He decided to abandon any and all questions he had regarding the 'Kendall Knight' situation and just focus on Alex's problem with Maggie and Ashley.

"Wait, so you said that Alex and Maggie had the argument?" he asked. "What about _you_ and her?"

"I didn't believe her," Ashley said simply, dejectedly. "She couldn't see past that. I guess… she was hurting and lashed out at both of us?"

"So… this argument…" he wasn't sure if he should tell her that he saw their exchange on Saturday night or not.

"Don't worry about that," she said quickly. "You don't need to kn—"

"I heard you guys on Saturday," he decided to say.

"You mean…"

"I know what Maggie called her," he said. "Seemed a little harsh for a friend…"

"It wasn't the name calling that was the problem," Ashley interrupted. "It was what Maggie said after she called her that."

"What?"

"… you know, I don't know why we're talking about this," she said. "Why don't you just talk to Alex about this stuff?"

"Because Alex isn't talking about it. You said it yourself. Whatever you guys did made her close herself off from everyone. I can't help her if I don't know what's going on," he insisted.

"Some secrets aren't mine to tell," she said, standing up and preparing to leave. "Stop asking me about it."

"Who should I ask then?" he stood up too. "Kendall Knight?"

And with those words he was back to fishing for information he shouldn't be looking for, but he couldn't help it.

"Don't you dare!" she squeaked and held up her finger, shaking it at him in admonishment.

"Why? What's so wrong with talking to him about Alex?"

"He _can't_ know who she is!" Ashley pushed him back down in his seat and regained her own as well. "_Please_ don't talk to him! You'll ruin everything!"

"What will I ruin?"

"Okay, okay," Ashley gave in. "You're right. It's not a coincidence that I'm here."

Gage nodded. _He knew it!_

"We wanted to tell him about her. Tell him all the things he's missed by not being around. We wanted to ask him to meet with her, answer all the questions that she's too afraid to ask her dads and Uncle Carlos. We wanted to give her the one thing we were hoping would prove to her how much she means to us. If we could just get him to talk to or acknowledge her, then maybe… she would forgive us. I don't know. It sounds weird to me. But it was Maggie's idea."

"This doesn't make sense to me though," he shook his head. "Why is he so important to her? I get that he was in a band with her dads, but what's the point in him getting to know her?"

"It's just important okay?" Ashley was getting so frustrated she had tears glistening in her eyes. "Just _please_ don't ask him about it! This really isn't any of your business. I probably already told you too much. I thought you already knew all this. Did she really tell you anything or are you sticking your nose in something that's not your business?"

"Alex is my best friend. She _is_ my business," he said with as much confidence as he could muster, but it was shaky at best.

"Wrong, Alex is _my_ best friend. And Maggie's!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet again. "We've been best friends for eleven years! You've known her, what, eleven minutes? We may not be talking right now, but we will again. And let me tell you, this is _definitely_ not your business!"

She stormed off, leaving Gage feeling decidedly dejected.

He was, unfortunately, starting to think that Ashley was right.

He cared about Alex but she hadn't told him anything important. Inviting him to her house was the most open she'd ever been with him, but there was still so much more to her that was being kept in the dark. He hadn't lied when he said that Alex was his best friend. He felt like he'd known her forever. His life just wouldn't feel normal if he didn't see or talk to her at least once a day. It was more than the crush he had on her too. Even if he couldn't be with her, he had to have her in his life. But… maybe Alex didn't have any problem not having _him_ in her life. She was able to push away the two friends she'd had since childhood. How easy would it be for her to push him away too? Especially when she learned that he was sticking his nose into her business… business that, Ashley was right, wasn't his.

Gage was actually becoming a little scared.

How one person could mean so much to him in such a little time was beyond him.

* * *

"It's Allie."

"Huh?" Gage said, shaking himself from his scattered thoughts.

"Your nerves?" Kendall said. "You are never nervous when you're talking to me about Allie. I think she's the key."

Gage gulped. "Okay?"

He was tired. It was Monday morning and he'd spent the previous night tossing and turning. Alex hadn't made an appearance at all yesterday, still claiming to be ill. He didn't want to tell her that he knew she wasn't ill, so he stayed away.

He'd managed to roll out of bed and get to the rink in time for his early morning private practice with Coach Knight.

"You spend so much time focusing on the game, you over compensate and hit too hard or lose control of the puck," the coach explained. "Most people do better when they _do_ focus completely on what they're doing. But, not you. I guess you're just a multi-tasker. Whenever you're thinking or talking about Allie, you look flawless. Your skating is smooth. Your shift from forehand to backhand is seamless. You focus _just_ enough on the game to do really well without going overboard."

Huh. Alex was going to save his hockey career. Go figure.

Gage could only shake his head. "If you think so…"

"I know so," Coach Knight said. "Now, tomorrow's scrimmage, you're going to start."

"What?" Gage nearly lost his footing. "But Coach Wilson…" The man _hated_ him. Why would he agree to start him?

"I've already spoken to him," the tall man answered. "You will be starting. So this morning I want you to go all out. No holding back Gage. Remember what I said about Allie. Just have at it, understand?"

Gage slowly nodded, a small smile gracing his lips.

"I understand."

* * *

"Ah-ah-ah-_oooh_," Kendall groaned later that evening, leaning back into the frilly couch that Weston had provided in his on-campus housing. The bags of ice he was clenching around his knee always hurt at first, but soon enough the ice made the throbbing die down to a dull ache before going completely numb.

"Here," Jo said briskly, thrusting a glass of water and two pain killers in his face.

"Thanks," he mumbled, tossing back the pills with his left hand then using the same hand to take the glass, making sure to keep the ice in place with his right.

"What exactly are you trying to prove to a bunch of kids?" she said, clearly not happy with him.

"I'm just doing my job," he grumbled.

"You've been on the ice almost every day!" she exclaimed. "You know what happens when you overdo it. I don't know why you keep putting yourself through this. Coach them; you don't have to _play_ with them!"

"I haven't been playing," he argued. And he hadn't been. Not really. He mostly stood with the coaches pointing out things they needed to look out for, encouraging the players, and making notes of each player's individual cases so he could tell their coaches what they needed to work on the most during their training. The midget classes were set to have scrimmage matches the next day. So he _might_ have gone a _little_ overboard with Gage that morning.

"Even if you don't get on the ice when everyone's training, I _know_ you have been every morning," Jo pointed out. "What are you doing hitting the rink that early anyway? That's probably why you're a mess on the couch!"

"It probably is," he admitted grudgingly. "But there's this kid that needs my help. This kid is really good, but couldn't get past a serious case of nerves. I think tomorrow's game is going to be okay though. We've been working together a lot. _That's_ why the pain," he indicated his knee. "I'll lay off it for a while now. I promise."

"This kid…" Jo began. "Why are you taking a special interest?"

"Remember I told you that girl beat me?" Kendall reminded her.

Jo nodded. She would have smiled in amusement if she wasn't so upset with him. He had told her a fifteen year old girl beat him during tryouts. But she hadn't heard anything about her since.

"Her name is Allie Bishop."

Jo felt some relief. She knew that was the name Alex was using. If Alex was the kid Kendall was giving private lessons to every morning, then maybe she _had_ started making a connection with Kendall. Maybe Jo didn't have anything to worry about as far as Sophie making up Alex's desire to get to know Kendall. Maybe this will all work out and one day soon they will all live happily ever after!

But wait… "But if she beat you, how does she have problems with nerves?"

Kendall shook his head. "It's not her. She doesn't even want to be here. She only played me so this kid could get in. His name is Gage Peterson," Kendall explained. "The kid was a mess. But he's doing a _lot_ better now. I figured out the key, because I'm _that_ good."

"… key?" Jo asked for lack of anything better to say.

She was thrown. Neither Sophie nor Alex had ever mentioned this Gage person. She had been told that Alex tried out for Weston, got in, and wanted to go and meet her uncle in secret from her dads. The only thing that was turning out to be true was the 'got in' part.

"Allie," Kendall smiled a bit victoriously, shifting the ice around his knee. "That kid is head over heels for her. Whenever I start talking to him about her, he plays his best. I mentioned it to him this morning. And just like that! Best game he ever played with me, which is why I _may _have gone a _little_ overboard today. But he's absolutely ready for tomorrow now!" Coach Wilson wasn't too pleased that Kendall had insisted he start Gage tomorrow. But Kendall was the man's boss so he had to do what he said. Kendall tried not to take his role too seriously, but occasionally he had to pull rank. Kendall was hoping he'd finally convince the man of Gage's value when the boy started tomorrow and did well.

"That's… good?" Jo said, fumbling for words, her mind racing at his. "So, they're a couple?"

"I don't think so," Kendall shrugged, not really wanting to be a part of some teenage relationship drama. He'd had enough of that years ago trying to get Carlos a girlfriend. Thank goodness _that _was over. "They seem like really good friends. I always see them hanging out. She comes to all of his games and watches most of his practices. He does the same thing for her. I would assume they're going out, but he never mentioned it and I figure with the way he talks about her, he would have by now."

"Aren't the classes in the same dorms…" Jo's eyes were wide, pondering the ramifications of what she had unknowingly set into motion.

"Yeah, they're co-ed," he said. "But on separate floors. And they have floor mothers who keep eagle eyes on everyone. Why?"

"I really think you should have made them split the dorms up so there was a girl dorm separate from the boys," she said.

"But there aren't enough girls for one dorm," he said. "You know more boys like to play than girls. Why are you asking about this anyway?"

"It just seems to me that if this boy likes this girl, they shouldn't be allowed to room so close together," Jo said.

"Different floors!" Kendall laughed. "Besides, he's not that type of boy. Believe me, this kid is super sensitive. He's a constant gentleman. He would never try anything with that girl."

"So you say," she murmured, thinking to herself that the same could have been said for Logan way back when and just _look_ what happened when no one was paying attention. But _she_ was paying attention now. And there was no way anything was going to happen to Alex on _her_ watch.

"Her parents obviously didn't have a problem with the co-ed dorms, so why should you?" he asked, amused.

"I, I, uh," Jo stumbled over her words. _Because her parents don't know where she is!_ "You're, uh, right. So, what time are the scrimmage games tomorrow? Maybe I should come and meet these kids. You seem to like them a lot."

"Sure," Kendall shrugged. "Gage will probably love to meet you. I wouldn't lay bets on Allie though. That girl barely looks at me. Don't ask me why. Maybe we should ask everyone if they want to go. The boys would love that, and even Carlos and his boys would probably get a kick out of it."

"Um, er," Jo winced. Carlos would probably have a panic attack if he saw Alex on the ice. And the Garcia boys would know Alex anywhere, not holding back the instant they saw her. Kendall would know in an instant who she was. _That_ wouldn't be good.

"The girls play at ten, the boys at one," he said. "Why don't you call and ask Carlos?"

"I think Sophie's taking them into town in the morning," she said, fumbling for her wristband and dialing Sophie on speed dial, knowing that Carlos' latest phone was probably being destroyed again at that moment. "But it's _so_ long anyway. Why not just go to the boys' game? You did say the girl always comes to the games, right? So I'll meet both." And she would call Alex with a heads up to steer clear of the game.

She needed to have a firm talk with the girl anyway. She was _not_ pleased by what she had just learned.

Not pleased at all.

* * *

Alex was absolutely miserable.

She felt like she needed to talk to someone about everything but she didn't know who to talk to!

She couldn't talk to her dads. She didn't want to call Dad even to just ask him to sing to her because she knew he'd try to call Uncle Carlos and ask what was wrong with her; and, since her lovable uncle had no idea that she was minutes away from him, that would end badly. As for Daddy, she couldn't talk to him either. She kept forcing herself to put on a brave face to video chat with him so she didn't arouse any suspicions. He kept asking why Carlos wasn't calling him back, but she just put him off and changed the topic like Aunt Sophie told her to do.

She couldn't talk to either of her aunts. She loved her Aunt Sophie, but didn't feel comfortable talking to her about what was going on. Sophie had never met Katie Knight anyway, so she wouldn't be able to do much to help. Alex didn't know Aunt Jo well enough to say much to her at all…and she still felt uncomfortable calling her an 'aunt', even though she was her only _real_ aunt from her mother's side.

She couldn't talk to Ashley or Maggie, of course.

Her mind kept spinning round and round and she felt like maybe… maybe it was time to reveal some things to Gage. He had a way of keeping her calm. He was never overbearing or assuming. He was laid back. He followed her lead. He made her feel important. He was becoming more and more important to her.

Never mind the fact that she couldn't kiss him, he was the one person she felt completely at ease around these days.

But… all day Gage had been acting differently.

Sure, she had hidden herself away all day on Sunday, but it was Monday. She dragged herself out of her room. She resolved to ignore Ashley and Maggie all day. She went to practice. She went through the motions, her performance extremely lackluster. She didn't care though. In the afternoon she went to Gage's practice like normal, but…

Something was wrong. He didn't smile at her with the same joy he always used. He didn't rush over to her and greet her the way he always did even when his coach was shouting at him.

For the first time since the start of camp, Alex left the boys practice early. She felt a little sick to her stomach.

She couldn't deal with things changing. Not now. Not when her entire world was off-kilter.

She had started to rely on Gage too much. She knew better. She should have known it was a mistake.

She had no idea why Gage was acting differently… She was too afraid to confront it. Maybe it was just a fluke. Maybe Gage was just too wrapped up in practice and worried about the game tomorrow.

Either way, she was still just as miserable by Monday evening as she was Monday morning… a little worse given the fact that she wasn't going to be able to talk to Gage about things either.

* * *

"Who is Gage?"

"A friend?" Alex mumbled into her phone, misery stretching through her tone.

"Kendall told me that the only reason you tried out was because of him? Is this true? And why is this the first I'm hearing about it?" Jo was livid. She was trying to keep calm not wanting to scare the girl away, but the more time she had to think about the situation the more she was ready to scream.

"What does it matter anyway?" Alex mumbled again, not caring about the panicked tone in her aunt's voice. She didn't know the woman well enough and didn't really care if she was upset.

"Sophie told me the truth, that you didn't want to go to Weston because of Kendall, but I didn't know why you actually wanted to go until this evening," Jo ranted. "A boy! Really, Alex? A boy! Are you out of your mind? Just wait until your fathers find out about this and that _I'm_ involved!"

"Don't tell them!" Alex showed her first signs of life all day.

"Right, and I'm just supposed to let you keep attending Weston in secret when you're doing God knows what with this boy!" Jo exclaimed.

Alex wanted to punch the woman. She didn't care who she was, she had no right to make assumptions about her like that.

"Fine! Go ahead and tell them! And while you're at it, make sure you tell your _husband_ you've been keeping secrets from him about me," Alex replied with more nastiness and contempt in her voice than she intended. "Since he cares 'oh-so-much' about me I'm sure he'll just be _thrilled_!" All the hurt and anger she was feeling spewed forth before she could stop.

"Alex that's not…" Jo grew worried. Not about Alex telling Kendall, she already knew that he was going to eventually find out about her involvement. She was worried because this was the first sign of emotion the girl had shown her…and she was starting to realize that Alex harbored an intense hatred for Kendall.

"I don't have to explain myself to _you_!" Alex yelled. "You're not even my real aunt! In order to be that, you'd have to be married to _my_ uncle and _that man_ has wanted nothing to do with me my entire life! He is _not_ my uncle! He's a horrible person!"

"Alex, we should meet—"

"No! I don't want to meet you! You just assume that since I have a boy who's a friend I'm what? Sleeping with him just because we're at the same camp? That's just gross! That's not who I am! How _dare _you!"

"I didn't mean—"

"No one ever means it, but that's what it always sounds like!" the blonde yelled.

A long silence greeted her words.

Alex used the time to calm her ragged breathing, wondering why she hadn't hung up yet.

Jo was at a loss for words. She never realized how much Alex was affected by Kendall's actions. It tore at her heart knowing that the girl was hurting this way. It made her want to fix things even more. The girl needed Kendall, the _real_ Kendall, in her life. Jo needed to bring things into the open with Kendall sooner rather than later. She also needed to get James and Logan back to Minnesota. They needed to be a part of this. Sixteen years of letting things fester had finally blown up in their faces.

And Alex was hurting for it.

"Carlos, Sophie, the boys, and I will be at the boys' game tomorrow," Jo whispered. "Wanted to give you a heads up… I'm sorry for… about Gage. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You're right. I'm sorry."

Silence was her only answer.

Jo didn't know what to say… she wanted to say something to reach the girl but nothing came to her. "Alex…" she murmured.

Then there was a click, and Jo knew the girl had hung up on her.

Jo sighed and rested her forehead in her palm.

How was she ever going to fix this?

* * *

"You're a hard man to get a hold of."

"I am?"

"It's been, like, a week!"

"We've gone longer than that without talking, James," Carlos said, perplexed. "Besides, I've had some bad luck with phones."

_Understatement of the year!_ While the wristbands—the latest trend spanning the past five years in cell phone technology—were supposed to be water resistant, they didn't take well to extremely hot water. Something about the steam? It was a minor design flaw. The first of his phones to bite the dust a week and a half ago was done in the kitchen sink when he was trying to help Sophie clean up a mess the boys had made. In the days following one was swallowed by Patsy—he wasn't going to wait for it to come back out—one was flushed, one was taken apart for 'educational' purposes by one of the boys, and he _just_ lost his latest this gorgeous Tuesday morning while helping Sophie deliver a sculpture to a consignment shop in town. He had decided not to purchase another one right away since his bout of bad luck would probably just cause something else disastrous to happen to a new one.

He had to check his online email account for any important updates on charities and events. Nothing was planned until July, but he knew Griffin would be peeved if he couldn't get a hold of him. Carlos had always dreamed of saving the world, but being a cop like his father just wasn't in the cards for him. He liked protecting people, but solving crimes that were often very dark and dreary resulted in tears and heartbreak for him. He couldn't distance himself from what happened to those people. So he spent his time working for Griffin as co-head of the charities division for the company. He sort of fell into the job of doing the most outrageous stunts for charity purposes. It was perfect for him. He got to help people all over the world, using RCM/CBT/Globalnet Sanyoid profits to do it. He was great at organizing fun days for kids. He'd spent so many days at children's hospitals, he knew as much about oncology as Logan did… well, now _that_ was an overstatement.

Griffin, the old coot, was on his last wind. Mercedes was poised to take over any day now. Fortunately, she understood the importance of 'giving back' and would let Carlos continue how he saw fit. Carlos had gone a little overboard back when he first started, too many people needing too much help at once. Carlos had a hard time saying 'no' to anyone. But they gave him a partner—hence the "co-head"—to make things easier. He didn't mind having a partner, as long as he had this job!

Not that he needed the money. Logan had helped him invest the money he made from his time in Big Time Rush… well, more like _did it for him_.

But it was nice to have a job. Something to do that was good and right and didn't require him being in an office fighting with some stupid office machine on a daily basis. He'd never been that great with electronic equipment… or that great at _anything_ besides singing and dancing. But he _was_ great at making people smile and feel better.

Thus far Carlos had used Sophie's phone to contact his distant boss, but Sophie was still in town so he decided to check the email he rarely used. His inbox had quite a few requests from James for a video chat. So, he patched through to his best friend.

"Couldn't Sophie just let you use hers?"

"Well, yeah, but I didn't know you wanted to talk until I checked my email," Carlos shrugged. "What's up? Oh, let me guess! You found another gray hair and since Logan's not around, you needed someone to comfort you in your time of need."

"He told you about that!" James huffed.

"Yeah," Carlos laughed. "Don't punish him too much for it when he gets back. He's probably freaking out about driving on the wrong side of the road again. England is so weird! Still don't know why they put the steering wheel on that side!"

"Uh, because they want to?" James replied.

"I wonder if their Nascar is on the other side too," Carlos thought deeply about this. "So their track would run the other way, right? Weird."

"Uh, I think Nascar is only over here," James thought, spacing for a moment as he tried to think if he'd ever heard anything about racing in England.

Then he shook his head, getting back to his original reason for contacting Carlos. He raised an eyebrow then frowned. "I've called Sophie every day to try to talk to you. She didn't tell you?"

Carlos frowned back at the computer screen, seeing James' confusion.

"It probably just slipped her mind?" Carlos excused. Sophie had never really been scattered brained, but maybe with all the kids running around the house she just forgot. He could be very forgetful sometimes too.

"I don't see…" James shook his head, deciding not to point out that he didn't see how it could slip Sophie's mind when he called or texted at least twice a day. "I really just wanted to thank you. Though talking to you is pretty awesome too. Logan and Alex get to see you way more than I get to."

"…you're welcome?" Carlos said, perplexed.

"For watching Alex while I'm in New York," James explained, sensing Carlos' confusion.

"I…what...huh?"

"I would rather she come with me, of course," James rolled his eyes. "And what teenage girl could say 'no' to a summer in the city that never sleeps? Mine could. Has she convinced you to adopt a shark yet? Sophie'd probably kill you if you add one more tank in though."

"James…" Carlos shifted in his seat, crazy confused and more than a _little_ uncomfortable.

"She _did_ do it, didn't she?" James laughed. "Just don't let her try to pet the thing _or _swim with it! Logan will have your head!"

"James!" Carlos needed to get his attention. He was pretty sure something weird was going on. He had never _ever_ lied to James and he wasn't about to start now.

"What?"

"She's not here," Carlos said.

"What? Who?" James asked.

"Alex, she's not here," Carlos explained gently. His mind was racing. _What in the world was going on?_

"That's cool, I talk to her every night," James shrugged. "Just say 'hey' whenever she gets back from wherever she went."

"No, I don't mean she's not 'here' at the moment," Carlos said. "I mean, I haven't seen Alex for weeks. She's not _here_, James. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Carlos," James started, a bit of warning in his voice. "Stop playing around."

"I'm being serious, James," he said, gulping a little. "I haven't seen Alex since the last time she visited before school let out."

"That's just crazy," the actor said, looking a little pale. "Alex has been there for a little over a week now. Sophie said she was there. I talk to Alex every night. She _has_ to be there."

"Unless Sophie built some new room and is hiding her in there, I swear to you Alex is _not_ staying here," Carlos insisted. Sophie must have done something… was it about that hockey program? Carlos blanched. _Please don't let it be about that hockey program!_

"_Carlos_," James said softly, but there was anger, fear, and alarm all across his face belying the softness of his words and making them almost dangerous. Carlos felt bad knowing his friend was experiencing a rising panic that was probably ten times worse than the one he was currently feeling.

"_Where is my daughter?_"

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part II – Chapter 6._

Video of Alex & Logan: Alex's Lullaby www . youtube . com / watch ? v = KKKz-JZzsVs (remove the spaces)

See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie.


	11. Pt II: Ch 6 Allie Bishop

I own nothing.

* * *

Since it's been nearly a year since I've updated, I'm starting off with a brief summary (not TOO detailed) to refresh your memories so you don't have to re-read everything before you get started. For those wondering, my father is doing _much_ better, and I thank you all for the well wishes for him! Never fear, the next update will come much faster than this one did! :0) Happy reading!

* * *

**PART I:** Katie finds out she's pregnant and goes to live with her father. He agrees to keep everything a secret from her mother & brother. The father could be either Logan or James, and she doesn't know which. She decides to give birth in secret and give the child up for adoption. Something goes wrong and she ends up dying two days after giving birth. Kendall finds out that Logan and James both betrayed his trust and has to be sedated, he's _that_ upset. Carlos ends up claiming the baby as his own to save her from custody issues and getting the state involved.

**PART II:** It's nearly sixteen years later. Carlita Alexandria Katerina Diamond-Mitchell, or as most people call her, Alex, is being raised by Logan, now a neurosurgeon, and James, now a famous actor on the same level as Brad Pitt was back in the day. The three live in Minnesota. Alex is a troubled girl who recently had a falling out with her two best friends, Ashley and Maggie, over Maggie calling her a whore. She also can't stand Kendall Knight, her biological uncle who has never acknowledged that she exists. She has a new friend named Gage Peterson who she's grown really close to. She likes Gage as more than a friend but is too afraid to peruse a bigger relationship because she's scared of being too much like her mother. The entire notion of being a "whore" stems from when James got married a few years ago to a woman named Melanie, a fellow actor. There was also an incidence during that time when Alex ran away on the streets of Los Angeles for a day. Since then, James got a divorce.

Alex is currently attending a summer hockey program with the head coach in charge as non-other than Kendall Knight. She's attending under the alias of Allie Bishop. She's only there to help Gage because it's his dream to become a professional hockey player. He doesn't get into the program until Alex plays Kendall for Gage's spot. Kendall also forces her to attend too.

Helping Alex is Sophie Garcia. Sophie is married to Carlos and they have an eleven year old, Michaelangelo, and an eight year old, Leonardo. The boys go by Mikey and Leo. Sophie is Italian, and Carlos still had a love for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, so thus, their names were found. They both look a lot like Carlos. They live in Pipestone, Minnesota, not far from where the summer hockey program was taking place.

During the current summer, while Kendall is running that hockey program, his sons are staying with Carlos. Kendall married Jo and they have twelve year old twins, Caleb and Carter, and a four year old, Noah—who is turning five in a month's time. The twins have blonde hair and brown eyes, just like their mother, while Noah has white blonde hair and green eyes just like his father. Caleb acts a lot like his Dad. He's all about family and is wise beyond his years. Carter is the smart one, and he reminds Kendall of someone Kendall has been trying to forget about for years.

James and Logan have no idea what Alex is really up to. They believe that she is staying at Carlos' house while James does some TV appearances and interviews in New York City and Logan presents some important neurological findings in London.

The last chapter leaves off with Alex scared to let Gage in so she decides to push him away as well as James finding out that Alex isn't living with Carlos…

* * *

PART TWO: Chapter 6

* * *

_Dear Snake Eyes,_

_You're a girl!_

_I think it's ironic. I've lived with guys for so long, so, hearing that you're going to be a girl just made me smile._

_I probably shouldn't have found out your gender, but the adoption people said families want to know the gender, so I should at least let them find out. And, of course, I couldn't stop myself from being nosy. So, now I know. Dad said I shouldn't have found out though. He's worried that I'll get too close and be hurt even more when it's time to let you go._

_We've been looking for the perfect parents for you, but we still haven't found anyone I like enough. None of the people seemed to have the compassion of James or the intelligence of Logan and I want that for you. I want you to grow up with some part of them, as well as me. We're hoping to find someone soon though. It's been six months already. Before we know it, you'll be here! What are we going to do if we don't find new parents for you in time? Well, we won't think about that. But just know, I won't rest until I find you the perfect family, Snake Eyes! You deserve the best. Nothing but the best for the most amazing little girl in the entire world!_

_So…I know it's been a while since I wrote in here, but I've been talking to you every day. My stomach keeps getting bigger, and you've been kicking up a storm, so I just feel like you're there and can hear every word I say…_

_Plus… it's been a little more difficult than I thought it would be. The doctor said I might have a lot of nausea the first few months, but the nausea hasn't really stopped. And things just feel weird, I know my body is supposed to be adjusting but it's just …different? Dad says I need to get more rest, so I've been trying. It really helps that school's been out for a couple months. I don't have to hide you anymore. Well, for now. You're due October 1st. I wonder if Dad would be willing to figure out a way for me to be homeschooled during that time. I'm sure he would._

_It's been hard lately to pretend that everything is okay whenever Kendall or Mom calls. They both like to check in, sometimes Kendall moreso than Mom. Kendall's been trying to convince me to go meet up with them now that school's out. Of course, I can't. But it would be really nice to see Kendall. I miss him so much. He gives the best hugs! I wish you could have a Kendall hug one day, but that just isn't in the cards._

…_I love you, Snake Eyes. Never doubt that. I know that giving you up may seem like I don't, but I do. Maybe one day you'll understand everything. I just hope you don't hate me for giving you away. It's why I need to find the perfect family for you. So you can always be happy._

_I'll write again soon!_

_Love Always,_

_Your Mom. _

* * *

Carlos knew from the moment he met Sophie that _this_ was someone who was going to be important in his life.

It wasn't like the first time he saw the Jennifers. The Jennifers, who held his adolescent attention for so long but remained unattainable while making him jump through hoop after hoop. They loved to be adored and loved the attention, but were never really going to cut him a break. After finally snagging a date with one of them to prom, he realized that they really _weren't_ what he was looking for in a girlfriend. The only problem was he still didn't know what he was looking for. At that point in his life, he just really wanted to _have_ a girlfriend.

He was so naïve back then. He actually thought that nothing would be better than to have a girlfriend. He sought after _this_ pretty girl or _that_ pretty girl. He put his friends through the ringer as they tried to help him with elaborate schemes. But the thing was, and it took a while to get this through his thick skull, he was trying too hard to be what each girl wanted _just_ so he could have a girlfriend. Something he could just say that he had, not really knowing what to do with a girlfriend once he _did_ have one.

He had been, shockingly enough, the second in his group of friends to lose his virginity—James being the first of course.

It happened when he was seventeen. He wasn't really ready for it, wasn't expecting it to happen when it did, and he sort of wished it hadn't been with her. But she fit the type he'd seemed to keep ending up with: crazy possessive and always demanding his attention. The guys always tried to steer him clear from girls like that, but he got so caught up in wanting to have a girlfriend, he didn't care. He _gladly_ poured all his attention on them. He did what they liked to do and tried to be their perfect boyfriend.

It always ended in a disaster.

Tammy had been his first girlfriend to last more than a couple weeks. She was in Hollywood to make it big as a dancer on the big screen. She wasn't the best actress; she just loved to dance and wanted to do it on film or TV instead of with a traveling troupe. She constantly forced him to watch movies like Dirty Dancing, Step Up, Center Stage, Save the Last Dance, Step Up 2, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights… The list (and their sequel) was endless. She loved learning all the routines and even tried to get him to learn some of the partner dance numbers. Especially Dirty Dancing. She was obsessed with "the lift". She got frustrated with him whenever he dropped her. He tried, but could never hold her up that long. He even went to the gym with James—something he hated doing with a _passion_—just to work on his upper body strength.

He may have not really liked all the dancing or working out, but he did like her a lot. And he finally had a _real_ girlfriend. When they hit the 'one month' mark, he went all out for their anniversary, even took her line dancing because it seemed like fun and he'd never seen her do that type of dancing before. And they _did_ have fun. They learned how to do a dance together for once instead of her instructing him. Just because she sometimes got exasperated with him didn't mean she wasn't incredibly sweet and lovable.

And he _did_ think he was in love with her. And she _did_ love him…or think that she did. Which is why, when she told him she was ready, he didn't think twice about it. He was raised to wait. All of the guys had been raised that way actually, though James had less resilience than the others. As tough as they all _tried_ to appear, they were sweet and extremely sensitive to girls' feelings. They would rather die than ever make anyone cry or do something that they weren't ready for. However, he also happened to be a teenage boy with raging hormones, and when she said she was ready he decided that he was too.

Not long after that, she became even clingier with him, making him feel like he was suffocating. He felt like he wasn't spending time with any of his friends any more, even though he worked with and lived with them. She always grumbled when he wanted to go out with 'just the guys' but never flat out told him he couldn't—that would be ridiculous. But then, she got the "brilliant idea" that Big Time Rush needed backup dancers. They'd had them before for special performances at awards shows, but never on tour with them. She got upset when he wouldn't approach anyone about the idea—he just really wanted to keep his relationship with her separate from his job. She even tried to broach the subject with the other guys, but they weren't having any of it. The real kicker came when an award show _was_ coming up. He spoke to Gustavo about it then, there wasn't really any other choice…and it _could_ be fun just that once. The producer agreed. But then she started trying to change the routine, telling the choreographer what they should do instead. Gustavo made _him_ tell her not to come back. She felt like he wasn't standing up for her. He told her he didn't have any other choice. She said he _did_ have a choice—the band or her.

He was single the next day.

And thus it went. He didn't know why he always ended up with the really enthusiastic girls who wanted to rule his life for him. Maybe it was because at the beginning of a new relationship he always bent over backwards for them and _let_ them rule his universe for a while.

His last girlfriend before his marriage was Rosie. That girl was a firecracker. She put Selma Hayek's performance in _Fools Rush In_ to shame. But it was hilarious too. He enjoyed how crazy she was, it always kept him on his toes and interested. But the same pattern happened with her too. She wanted every single spare minute of his time to be spent with her, like she didn't _trust_ him when he wasn't around, like he wasn't allowed to have friends or even space to breathe. Their relationship finally ended before his last tour. She demanded he either take her with him, or not go at all. He didn't understand what these girls were thinking. They went into the relationship _knowing_ he was a pop star. They _knew_ he would have to go on tour for weeks and months at a time. But they _still_ got all bent out of shape when he had to leave. It was probably his fault for dating girls like Tammy who still hadn't gotten their big break, or girls like Rosie who just happened to live in Los Angeles and had nothing to do with the fame or Hollywood experience.

After Rosie, he didn't have time for girlfriends, and he honestly didn't even think twice about it.

The tour was cut short due to the death of Katie. The band was destroyed because of Logan and James' betrayal to Kendall. His life was no longer his own for an entire year that he spent raising his goddaughter. He didn't have time to date. He was too busy changing, feeding, burping, and rocking a beautiful baby girl. He was the one teaching her to crawl and walk. He was the one taking on the responsibility that no one else would or _could_ at the time. And he never regretted a single minute of it.

After Logan and James took over complete care of Alex, he was a little bereft. He didn't know what to do with himself at first. The band was over and even though he was financially secure—thanks to his parents for putting most of what he earned into saving accounts or CODs for the future (much like the other guys' parents did), and then Logan took over from there—he still needed to figure out what to do next.

And he did figure it out. It wasn't long before he settled into his job working for Griffin. Even that had a few trial and errors, but it was ultimately the perfect gig for him. When Logan and James decided it was time to move out of an apartment and purchase a real house—which was actually an incredible mansion that they _still_ owned and James lived in whenever he was in Los Angeles for work—Carlos couldn't help but to follow in their footsteps.

He had a dream of the perfect home, so he set about to make the place as fun and wild and crazy as he could possibly want it. He was twenty two at the time. The year was 2017. He was hanging out with some friends from his studio days when one of the guys, Cody, joked about a house—especially a mansion—needing really expensive art.

Remembering the weird statue in the foyer at Gustavo's house, he decided he needed a sculpture to greet everyone as soon as they walked in. What could be better than a giant corn dog? All the sculptors he went to look at only had a strange and staid uniform-like quality to their work. He could've just hired one of those people to do it anyway, but he didn't think they had the joy inside of them required to make the happiest corn dog in the world. It became a mission for him.

Finally, after talking to Cody again, he was sent to a rinky-dink place near the beach. He was greeted by someone screaming "Take cover!" before _BOOM_! He wasn't inside the gated area, but he knew immediately why the gates were already splattered in different colored paint. An explosion of paint went flying up in the air. Once it had settled down, he immediately entered the gated area—not bothering to knock since it read 'Enter'—and was greeted with a sight that could only be described as perfection.

_She_ was perfect. He immediately found out her name was Sophie. She had her long dark hair pulled into a low carefree pony-tail at the nape of her neck, spilling out under a black protective helmet. She was also wearing goggles and a jumpsuit. He couldn't even see her face properly, but from the second she greeted him, paint spattered, and grinning gleefully, he knew that she was exactly what he had in mind for the sculpture.

He didn't really think of her as being perfect _for_ him at first. He was pretty oblivious actually—he was _that_ out of touch with the dating world at the time. It wasn't until later that he realized how perfect she was for him. He liked her a lot in the beginning. He felt completely comfortable with her. She clicked with him, just about the same way his best friends clicked, which is why he knew immediately that she was going to be someone important in his life, but he never once imagined that she would turn out to be the woman he married. He hired her on the spot. She created his giant corn dog but also worked on other things around the house. He even got her to paint bomb one of his hallways just for the heck of it.

It wasn't until two months after she started working for him that he realized there might be another reason he was keeping her around, coming up with new projects for her. And it was all because of Alex.

He was babysitting, which usually took place at the Diamond-Mitchell house, but Alex was three at the time and insisted she wanted to see "Unka Calo" house. Alex had only ever had female contact with her nanny and, while the woman was nice, she was significantly older. Alex took one look at Sophie and she was hooked. She followed her all over the house, asking as many questions as she could think of, never letting the woman out of her sight. To anyone else, it might have been very annoying, but not Sophie. She took to the girl immediately. She patiently answered all of her questions. She let her paint. She gave her piggy-back rides around the house. When Alex begged her to take her swimming in Carlos' pool, she got permission from Carlos to do it since, after all, she was working. Carlos offered to just take her, but Alex didn't want that. She latched her little arms around Sophie's neck and wouldn't let go.

He dropped Alex off late that night, she was too tired to do more than crawl into James' arms—Logan was working late on an important school project. The next day James came over out of the blue. He brought Alex with him too. Carlos was glad to see his old friend, as it'd been a while since they had hung out even though they lived so close together. It was a couple hours before Carlos realized exactly _why_ James was there though. It took watching James flirt with Sophie while she was holding Alex to make Carlos 'get' it. Carlos experienced the worst case of jealousy he'd ever felt in his life before pulling James _far_ away from Sophie to tell him that he needed to stay away from her. James just smiled and asked if Carlos was dating her. After stuttering for a moment, Carlos made it clear that even if he _hadn't _asked her out yet, he was going to _now_. James backed off, and Carlos asked her out, and—surprise, surprise—she said 'yes'.

It wasn't until much later—after Carlos was officially engaged to Sophie—that James told him that Alex had told him all about Sophie the morning after she met her. When James showed up at the Garcia house, he knew almost immediately that there was something there between Sophie and Carlos, but his original intent _was_ to meet and even go out with Sophie himself. From everything Alex had said, he thought Sophie might be the perfect mother for his daughter. He was disappointed that he wouldn't get a chance with Sophie, but he did make sure Carlos realized his feelings that day.

Carlos didn't know whether to be grateful to James or not, but he did know he was grateful he ever met Sophie in the first place. He grew to love her more and more every day. She really _was_ perfect for him. She wasn't too uptight; she loved to do as many crazy things as he did. She loved his family and Alex. She got along with all of his friends. She didn't try to change him. She didn't get jealous whenever he wanted to hang out with his friends. In fact, she _encouraged _it. She didn't need to be with him every single moment of every single day. She trusted him. He knew that even if he looked for the rest of his life, he would never find anyone as perfect as Sophie.

She was perfect _for_ him, but she still had her flaws. And one of those flaws was that she would do what _she_ thought was right, no matter what someone else—including him—told her to the contrary. And that's how he just…somehow _knew_ that she was the one behind this mess. Her misguided sense of what was 'right' was the reason she had done this for Alex. From the moment she met his goddaughter, she had loved that little girl as much as he did. That bond had only grown stronger over the years. If she could have, she would have gladly accepted the position of being Alex's mother. She loved her that much.

He knew that she had helped Alex with this latest scheme because she was thinking about what was best for Alex. While he… had only been thinking about what was best for Kendall. He knew that she should never have enabled the girl, but he understood why she'd done it.

He just hoped they could all live with the fall out.

"_Carlos, where is my daughter?_" James repeated, his voice getting steadily louder.

Carlos gulped and rubbed his face with his fists before looking at the screen again. "I think I know where she's at."

"You _think_?" James leaned forward out of his seat and looked like he was about to reach through the screen and wring his best friend's neck, the anger and fear on his face made Carlos flinch.

"No, I _know_," Carlos insisted quickly. "But…you're not going to like this… so… um…" Carlos cleared his throat.

James continued to glare, but he eased down into his chair.

"I'm _sure_ that she is okay, _okay_?" Carlos started off. "But… I'm also pretty positive she's at a hockey camp that's not too far from here."

James didn't say anything for a few minutes, just stared at Carlos as he absorbed the information.

"She tried out for it the last time she was here…"

James scoffed. "Alex wouldn't waste her summer at a hockey camp. She loves it, but not enough to waste her summer playing it."

"I'm not really sure why she wanted to do it…but… that's not the bad part…" Carlos was _very _hesitant to continue.

"So there _is _a bad part? Besides the fact that Alex and Sophie have been lying to me for weeks? Please, Carlos," James' calm went out the window as his anger took over again, "Please, tell me, what could _possibly _be the _bad_ part about this!"

"Kendall," Carlos replied simply and quietly.

James froze. "W-w-what?"

Carlos looked toward the ceiling, wishing he could have just continued to play along with Sophie's scheme, but he knew he couldn't. He had never lied to James before and he wasn't going to start now. "Kendall is the head coach. It's called Weston."

There was silence, so Carlos decided to look at the screen again. James still hadn't moved.

"She told me after she went to the tryouts that she wanted to go but she didn't want you guys to know. I told her I wasn't going to lie to you and Logan for her. I thought that was it, so I never said anything to you guys. She decided not to do it, and I hadn't heard from her since. I actually thought she was mad at me." He realized, feeling a little guilty, that he probably should have called her before now. But things had been so crazy with all the kids. He was kicking himself for not calling sooner.

James still didn't say anything.

"I guess… Sophie knew about it." Carlos felt bad about throwing his wife under the bus, but now wasn't the time to keep quiet. If one of his sons had been lying about his whereabouts, _he_ would want to know anything and everything. "She probably arranged it all. I don't know how she did it… but she probably thought she was doing the right thing."

And still, silence.

"Would you please say something?" Carlos pleaded. "You're makin' me nervous."

James finally looked down and said quietly, "I'll be on the next flight."

"James…"

But he had already disconnected.

Carlos put his elbows on the desktop, folded his hands together, and rested his forehead on top as he tried to calm himself and come to terms with what his wife had done.

* * *

Kendall was not pleased.

In ice hockey, the players were always aggressive. It was definitely a full contact sport, hence the padding and helmets as well as its reputation for extracting teeth.

So, players being overly violent were nothing new—except usually the players were attacking the members of the other team. Not their own.

Allie Bishop was by far one of the best female hockey players he had ever seen. Heck, she was probably one of the best hockey players in _general_ he had ever seen at her level. In the past week that she'd trained at Weston, he had witnessed her skill, speed, and strength on the ice. He knew that she had taken the time to learn the abilities of her teammates. She knew who she could depend on for whichever play she decided to run. She made split second decisions that always gained her team the advantage.

She was one hell of a hockey player. Until today, he would have bet all the money in the bank that she would lead her team to victory in this scrimmage game.

He would have lost it all.

He crossed his arms firmly across his chest from his vantage point behind the rink glass. His eyes were practically glaring holes into the tall girl on the ice. He didn't know if she was aware that he was staring at her. He had a feeling she would have turned away in a huff and just ignored him completely if she _had _noticed given her apparent—and confusing—disgust of him.

At first, it looked like little accidents.

A teammate was skating by and, somehow, Allie tripped her up on the ice. But that could all be explained away because Allie had been turned in a different direction, passing the puck off to someone else. Then she moved her stick around to her other side before looking at where she was going. So, when the girl—who was most definitely on Allie's team—tripped over the stick, it looked like an innocent accident.

But as time wore on, Kendall noticed that every time Allie got close to that same teammate, something would happen to her. The girl would end up on her knees, on her butt, one time she ended up in the direct path of a member of the other team and got clobbered. Kendall finally realized that the little accidents were actually deliberate when the same girl was checked into the boards and looked like she was going to go after Allie when she climbed to her feet.

He held his breath, waiting, but the girl with the fierce red hair backed down. _Good girl, Maggie, _he thought to himself. He knew the names and stats on most of the students by now, and for the ones he didn't, he carried around an ever-present clipboard. He knew that this particular player was usually extremely aggressive and intimidating. She was the best female enforcer in the girls' league. He often thought she, as well as most enforcers, were loose cannons. This girl was maintaining her anger extremely well. She must be holding back a great deal of it. It made him wonder exactly what she had done to invoke the wrath of Allie.

Luckily, none of the referees had noticed the display of unsportsmanlike conduct yet, but it was only a matter of time.

He continued to watch, glaring at the tall blonde girl, a heartbeat away from telling the coach to pull her from the ice so he could knock some sense into her before she got thrown out of the game completely.

He winced when Allie was clipped on the side of her skate by someone speeding past her—the redhead she'd been attacking the entire game—and ended up taking a nosedive onto the ice.

That was the last straw. Obviously the redhead had decided to be just as sneaky in her attacks too. He started heading over to the bench area to get the coach to pull both of them. He only took his eyes off the ice for a minute, but that was enough for mayhem to break out.

Yells exploded from the ice and Coach Milton started shouting at the girls. Whistles were blown by every referee. The guys who came to watch the game were cheering and whooping up a storm from the stands.

Kendall looked back at the ice and nearly cursed.

Allie must not have liked Maggie dishing out some payback, because in the split second he'd turned away, she had jumped on the other girl and the two were now in a shoving match, each trying to stay upright while giving their all in an attempt to dish out their anger.

Most of their team members were momentarily shocked, so no one reacted at first except for one girl who had immediately gone for Allie, trying to pull her back. The girl, he thought her name was Ashley, had wrapped her arms around the blonde from behind and was pulling her away from the redhead as best she could.

The referees were making their way to the melee. Kendall found himself rushing to the bench area and climbing over the wall himself. Vans on ice weren't the best for keeping traction, but it would have to do. When he reached the group, he oddly wasn't surprised to find that Gage had materialized from the stands too.

Kendall swore to himself as the referee came up and clearly made the signal for Allie _and_ Maggie to be expelled from the game. The two were led off the ice, but it was obvious the two were still glaring at each other. The argument was far from over.

When they reached their teammates on the sidelines, they grabbed their stuff to leave and were met with a couple of _very_ displeased coaches.

Allie and Maggie both listened with tight lipped anger and downcast eyes as Coach Milton tore them a new one for their actions. He ended by telling them to get out of his sight and fix whatever their problem was before the day was out…_or else_.

When they turned away, they were met with Kendall's imposing figure. He'd had just about enough of this.

"My office. _Now_," he instructed, his tone leaving no room for argument.

The girls followed, Ashley sidling up next to Maggie, keeping a tight hold on her, afraid she'd go after Alex again. Gage followed closely behind the blonde, deciding he should be there for her so she wasn't entirely alone…even though he still felt guilty about snooping around in her business without telling her.

* * *

It had been a _long_ time since Logan Mitchell had a problem making a decision.

Ironic considering for the first twenty years of his life, he'd always had problems making up his mind.

The first decision he ever made that he lived to regret was also the straw that broke the camel's back and made it possible for him to make decisions without second guessing himself. He had always struggled _to_ decide because he was afraid of making the wrong choice.

The little decisions you had to make on a daily basis seemed less important when you had already made the worst "wrong choice" of your life.

Logan was a virgin until he was nineteen. He was the last of his friends to "lose it" and he honestly didn't care. He knew most teenagers were extremely horny and it was the only thing on their minds most of the time. He lived with three other male teens for the better part of his teen years so he knew exactly how crazy those hormones could get.

And yet, he wasn't like the other boys. Maybe it was because he had such a focus set on other things in his life, like his medical career as well as his musical career. Maybe it was because he had grown up in a family environment that was perfect and patrician, not lending itself to big time affection—which is why, on numerous occasions as a teen and to this day, he had problems showing his parents any type of fondness. Maybe it was because he had read all the facts about the dangers of sex with unknown people and was afraid to catch something that could potentially ruin the rest of his life?

Anyway you looked at it didn't change the fact that Logan Mitchell had been a nineteen year old virgin.

And it also didn't change the fact that he had sex with his best friend's sixteen year old sister and had possibly gotten her pregnant, unknowingly setting into motion the chain of events that would ultimately lead to her death.

He had dated as a teenager, but he had never really fallen in love with any of those girls. He had a great deal of affection for Camille, but probably would've never chosen her to go out with if she hadn't pursued him so openly. He was just...awkward. Some would call him a nerd. But he just wasn't big on intimacy. Especially not intimacy with people he didn't know that well.

The night he slept with Katie he could blame on the alcohol—though if he was being completely honest he was absolutely in his right mind when he made the decision to sleep with her. He could blame any number of things, but it would have just been continuing a game he didn't want to play.

No, the real reason he decided to sleep with Katie was because he realized he loved her. He had loved her in some way her entire life. It had always been with a brotherly regard though. He had never once thought of her as more than a sister until that fateful night.

There she was, coming on to him, kissing him, begging him to stay with her, and all he could think of was how _right_ it felt. He knew that he would have to deal with a lot of trouble from Kendall, but in that instant he knew it would be worth it and that everything would work out. It _had_ to work out because the things he felt that night were probably the most amazing of his life. He _knew_ Katie. He _loved_ Katie. He felt completely comfortable and at ease with her. He had only given into her advances _because_ he realized that. _Because_ he knew that it wasn't going to be some weird, awkward one night stand. It was going to be the start of something that he knew he was finally ready for.

So, yeah, he had been completely devastated the next morning when he found out she didn't want any more from him and had basically been using him.

He hated keeping such a huge secret from Kendall. He almost resented Katie for doing what she did to him. But he couldn't. He still loved her. And he knew she was trying to soothe things, trying to make things right with him again, but nothing was ever going to be the same.

That was why he pushed so hard with Gustavo to end the tour on time instead of adding other shows and appearances. The band's time was coming to a close. None of the boys wanted to continue Big Time Rush without the others. There would be no replacing of a band member. The guys were all ready to move on, even though they were slightly uncertain about doing it without each other.

Logan falling in love with Katie sort of cinched the deal for him. He could barely even look at Kendall, so the idea of the band ending so he could complete his pre-med classes looked mighty good to him at the time.

He never anticipated what happened next—who could?

Suddenly, his worst fears came to light in the most horrifying way imaginable.

Kendall learned the truth. He found out what Logan had been hiding from him for the past seven months. Logan had done well covering up the secret, even though it killed him on a daily basis, so he was pretty sure Kendall hadn't seen it coming.

_That_ betrayal made things worse for Kendall. Logan knew that the only way possible for Kendall to get through losing his sister was the support of his friends. But Kendall lost BOTH in one night...in one instant.

Logan tried to explain to Kendall, but he really had no idea what to say. He could tell him about the alcohol, but he really _had_ been sober by then, and that excuse was really not the best... He could tell him that she had used him and _he_ had been the one devastated…but he couldn't bring himself to say anything that would paint her in a bad light…especially to her brother. He wouldn't sully her memory anymore by ever saying those words, and, in all honesty, she _hadn't_ promised him anything. He had just assumed. He should have made sure she was feeling the same things he was before he gave in…and he hadn't.

So, he ended up just telling Kendall that he loved her. That he wanted to be with her…but it hadn't worked out. That he hadn't known she was pregnant and would have stepped forward in an instant if he had known.

James also tried to explain. It was even worse for him because he had been dating Katie behind Kendall's back for _months_. Logan tried hard to combat the mixed feelings he had upon learning that _James_ was the one. James was the one all the girls wanted and the one who always got the girls, so Logan should have been used to it. Heck, James had even dated Camille, but it was a year or more after she and Logan had called it quits for good. James had asked permission and Logan had granted it. Upon learning about James' involvement with Katie, a part of Logan couldn't help but feel like James had once again intruded upon one of his relationships, though another part of him felt like he had turned the tables on James this time—if the hurt in James' eyes was any indication. While they were all in deep mourning, there was also the lingering side effects of betrayal all around, made only more confusing considering that neither of them had known about the other. Logan and James hadn't known how to talk to each other for a while after Katie died. They had too much to say, a lot of which would only hurt the other, so they didn't know what to say or how to say it. Instead, they focused on Kendall.

They both tried to explain things, but in the end, it didn't matter. Kendall didn't want to hear any explanation. He just wanted his sister back.

And that was something no one could give him.

If Logan felt devastated when Katie turned him down the morning after, it was nothing compared to the way he felt when Kendall turned his back on him.

Kendall had stared at him, all barely concealed rage, and Logan had never felt more worthless in his life. He had betrayed the one person in this world who meant more to him than anyone else. That look on Kendall's face… Logan knew that Kendall wanted to kill him. It wasn't a matter of hurt feelings or the need for revenge, or anything like that. Kendall hated Logan with every fiber of his being. If Kendall hadn't found some way to hold himself back, Logan knew he would be dead right now. And he wouldn't have blamed Kendall at all.

He would have given anything to take Katie's place.

He didn't even care that Kendall seemed to focus the brunt of his anger on him instead of James. He knew why. The entire thing... it was something that James would do. But not Logan. Never Logan. Logan's betrayal had hurt more than James' had because Kendall had complete faith and trust in Logan. He knew and understood that.

It didn't make facing Kendall's fury any easier.

Logan somehow managed to get through that confrontation though. He managed to get through a lot of things over the past sixteen years. His life became that of his daughter's. Every decision he made was for her. The medical school he went to, the decision to return to Minnesota, the life that he led, it was all for her. In the beginning, he hadn't wanted to know the truth about Alex's paternity because he was pretty sure he _was_ her father...and if that were the case...he was the one responsible for Katie's death. And there was no way Kendall would ever forgive him then. He knew it was the ultimate act of running away, but James was on board as well... and it just made life for him a little bit easier. He wasn't entirely sure if he could survive if he knew for certain that he was the one. So, life went on. He stepped into his new role as father, sharing the burden with his best friend, and trying to make life as good as possible for Katie's daughter.

But he never got over losing Katie and Kendall…

The second his wrist phone vibrated and he realized it was James, he knew something was wrong. James never called him at that time of day. Heck, James didn't call him all that often when he was away and not _now_ especially since Alex wasn't with either of them.

He hung up the phone with a heavy heart, his stomach tied in knots. He accepted the truth years ago that nothing he did or said would ever change Kendall's mind. He had resigned himself to the knowledge that he was probably never going to be in the vicinity of Kendall Knight again.

He should have known that eventually something would happen to bring everything out in the open. He didn't know or understand what was going on, even James seemed shell-shocked and unable to explain much—mostly because Carlos hadn't known much either. The only thing Logan knew was that his little girl and Kendall Knight were in the same place at the same time. He didn't need to think twice before handing over the reins of his work project to his assistant, who was a more than adequate stand-in. He didn't once question his actions as he quickly tossed together what he would need for the flight back to the states while making last minute travel arrangements on his phone. He flagged down a cab and was on his way back home less than an hour after getting James' call.

Yes, it had been a long time since Logan had a problem making a decision, and it wasn't until he was sitting in the back of that taxi, staring sightlessly out the window, that he realized he was once again a bundle of indecisiveness.

He didn't know what to do. He'd always made snappy decisions based on what was best for Alex. This time...the decision wasn't so cut and dry. He knew that it would be in Alex's best interest to feel connected to her mother's family...but after the last time Logan tried to get in touch with Kendall over a matter regarding Alex, Logan wasn't sure whether Kendall would do more harm to her than good. No one really knew why Kendall never wanted anything to do with Alex. Some of the family speculated that he blamed the baby for Katie's death. Logan knew that couldn't be true because he was fairly certain Kendall blamed him. James thought it was because Kendall didn't want to have anything to do with them, so Alex ended up caught in the crosshairs. Logan hoped Kendall wouldn't be that unfair to Alex…but he really didn't know what was going on in his ex-best friend's head.

Whatever the case may be, Kendall had ignored Alex for the past sixteen years. Through those years, Logan and James had always been completely honest with Alex as far as letting her know who Kendall was. Logan remembered a time when Alex plastered her bedroom with Wild posters, brandishing Kendall's jersey on a wall, his number displayed in a glass case proudly for anyone to see. He remembered how excited she was whenever a game aired. He remembered how she would watch and re-watch his games, studying him. He remembered helping her practice on their personal rink as she repeated move after move, perfecting all of Kendall's plays. Alex had been completely in awe of Kendall Knight. She was proud and excited to know that she was related to him. She wanted to be just like him, telling whoever asked that timeless question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" that she wanted to be a professional hockey player, just like her Uncle Kendall.

She never seemed to question why, if she was related to him, she never got to meet him. She was already used to having family she didn't see often. Logan, who never spent that much time around his parents or his relatives, used to tell her about his family when she asked but never brought her around them just because they weren't close. James' overbearing mother had taken to Alex, of course, but she was so hard to handle that Alex was probably happy to not deal with other family members if that was how they were. Brooke Diamond still worked like crazy, though she _had_ made noises from time to time about Alex possibly taking over her company when she came of age. Logan had told James to nip that in the bud _now_, but James just shrugged it off and insisted that Alex would make up her own mind when it came time and that she was strong enough to tell his mother "no." Logan wanted to laugh that James, at thirty-four, _still_ didn't know how to properly stand up to his mother, though he _did_ have his moments… they were just very few, and far between.

So, Alex was used to having family members she had never met. Her never asking to meet Kendall was a relief to both Logan and James. They probably shouldn't have told her about him and let her worship him like a hero, but…even though Kendall wasn't around, they felt as though they owed it to both Alex _and_ Kendall to keep the good stuff alive. Alex needed to know where she came from. And it actually helped Logan to come to peace with Kendall. It helped him remember the good times, a time before sex and love and betrayal colored their friendship. He still struggled with the bad memories, but keeping the memory of the good alive and passing those stories onto his daughter was the best way to combat the bad.

Logan, as well as James, didn't really know what happened to change Alex's opinion of Kendall. They noticed that certain things were gradually taken down in her room. She moved the glass jersey case from the wall. She left the Wild posters up, it was still her team, but anything that was personally related to Kendall just disappeared. Her excitement over him was gone. She started following other players, even players on other teams. She stopped studying Kendall's technique, choosing to study other team members'. And, even though she continued to be the best player in her league going on to become captain and play center for her high school team, she surprised everyone by laughing off her old dream of playing professional hockey. She told them it was stupid because she was a girl, she'd never get to play on a _real_ professional ice hockey team. They reminded her that there _was_ a female professional ice hockey league, that she could do anything she wanted to. Her gender would never limit her. It didn't matter. She scoffed at the idea of playing for any team except for the "real" ones, like the Minnesota Wild. She decided that, instead, she was going to be a Marine Biologist. Her second love had always been aquatic animals anyway.

Logan always assumed it was her maturing and figuring out how the world worked that made her change her dream, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it had something to do with Kendall. She never talked about Kendall anymore. In fact, he detected a lot of distaste coming from her whenever her uncle was mentioned. The topic of Kendall Knight just dropped out of their household and hadn't really been mentioned for years. Everyone was strangely okay with that, especially Logan. After trying to reach Kendall following Alex's skiing accident, Logan really didn't know how much longer he could put on his happy face for Alex's benefit whenever she was spazzing over Kendall.

Why had Alex deliberately gone to a hockey camp that Kendall was a coach at? Logan couldn't begin to understand. Alex would never waste an entire summer on hockey, of that _both_ Logan and James was certain. But Alex also didn't like Kendall…they were pretty certain of that as well. So, _why?_ Did Alex harbor the desire to know more about her Uncle? Had she just wanted to meet him? What could possibly make Alex _lie_ to them like this? And even though they had never outright asked her something that she blatantly told a falsehood to, she _had_ misled them about her whereabouts.

While most parents would be up in arms, ready to ground their child for the rest of their life, Logan was more…scared. He was scared of what was about to happen. He was going to see Kendall in person for the first time since Carlos' wedding. He was going to have to look him in the face…and…

That was the problem. Logan didn't _know_ what to expect. He wanted to steal Alex away from the entire situation and run, just like he ran years ago. He didn't want Alex to have to deal with the grown up problems of her parents and uncle… He didn't want her to find out why Kendall had ignored her. If Kendall really _had_ blamed the baby for Katie's death…if Kendall said something like that _to_ Alex, it would devastate her.

Logan had spent years hoping for Kendall to come back into his life…but he would do anything, even push Kendall away, to protect his daughter.

For now, all he could do was stare out that rain-drizzled window and try to mentally prepare for the confrontation that was coming…

* * *

Kendall took in the four teens sitting in his office, letting them bask in silence for a few agonizing minutes. Ashley was sitting with Maggie. She kept sneaking glances toward Allie and Gage who were sitting in chairs on the other side of his desk, Allie taking the chair furthest away from the two girls.

Ashley seemed nervous, as did Gage. Maggie didn't have the anger of moments ago. Instead, she looked like a deflated and defeated balloon. That was the best metaphor he could come up with.

Allie, on the other hand, was sitting with her arms crossed, slouching, head tilting to the side, an angrily amused smirk on her face. He was momentarily sidelined with a feeling of déjà vu. The way she was acting, the way she looked, it was all so familiar to him. He remembered thinking before that she reminded him of someone he used to know, and there it was again. He shook his head, deciding to just go back to the topic at hand.

She wouldn't look at him, which came as no surprise to him, of course. What _did_ surprise him was that she seemed to be ignoring Gage too.

Kendall was good at studying people. It was one of the reasons his schemes proved so successful over the years. He didn't consider it manipulating _people_. It was more, manipulating _circumstances_ so that no one got hurt, but he ultimately got what he wanted. In this instance, he knew that something wasn't right with Allie and Gage. It wasn't really any of his business and far be it for him to get involved in the troubles associated with teenage romance. But the situation with Allie and Maggie, now _that_ was his business.

"I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but it ends now," Kendall spoke firmly, his voice never rising, but his tone clearly indicating he meant business.

Maggie just looked at the floor while Allie let out a snicker and rolled her eyes at the wall behind him.

"I'm aware that your coach already had it out with you. And they don't seem to care what the cause is as long as you fix it. Well, I'm not going to play that game. This is where it gets fixed. So, who wants to go first?" Kendall asked, staring back and forth between the girls, trying to put them on edge.

The tension wasn't getting to either of the two. _Damn, they're good,_ he thought to himself.

He let his question sit in the air a little longer, knowing that the tension would just grow and grow until somebody popped. He didn't have to wait that long.

"They're really sorry, I know they are. It's just not a good time to do this. I'm sure once everyone calms down everything will get back to normal and... yeah..." Ashley spoke a mile a minute, unable to stand the pregnant pause and needing to speak before she exploded.

Allie snickered again, shifting in her chair.

"You have something to say, Miss Bishop?" Kendall asked.

She pressed her lips together in anger and continued to stare at the wall, clearly not going to give an inch.

"Allie," Gage said, reaching out to touch her arm.

Allie looked down at his hand; she seemed to relax slightly.

"I know it sucks, but this can't go on. You _need_ to work it out."

Allie tugged her arm away and looked at him suspiciously. "What do you know?"

"I know everything," he said quietly, looking guilty as ever. His eyes wavered toward Ashley, and Allie followed his gaze.

"You _told_him!" Allie sprung to her feet and stared at Ashley in disbelief. "What right did you have-"

"I didn't, okay, he just knew! But not everything! He doesn't know-" she cut off and looked toward Kendall, "e-everything." She gulped.

Kendall raised a bushy eyebrow, even more intrigued by the entire situation and what these girls obviously didn't want him to know.

Allie visibly tried to calm down, letting out a breath.

She sat down and stared ahead again, she slowly mumbled, "…does he need to be here?" Her eyes flickered to Kendall, so he knew she was asking him.

Kendall blinked in surprise. The girl had actually willingly spoken to him for the first time since her try-out. He shrugged, "Gage?" He motioned to the door, trying to give him an encouraging smile, hoping to soothe him, knowing the boy was going to be hurt no matter what.

Gage looked at Kendall then at Allie, clearly just realizing that the "he" Allie was referring to was himself. "W-what?" he stuttered. "I'm not leaving," he said to Kendall. Then to Allie, "What are you doing? I'm not leaving you. You need me."

"I don't need you," Allie said stiffly. "I don't need anyone."

It would have been more convincing if Allie hadn't sounded so defensive when she said it. Kendall actually felt bad for the girl then. Whatever was going on, it appeared that the tall blonde girl was the one hurting here.

"Gage, I think it's best that you leave," Kendall said gently, but firmly.

"B-but—"

"You have a game to prepare for," the coach continued. "Go ahead. Everything will be okay." He nodded at Gage, leaving no further room for argument.

Gage looked like he wanted to continue to argue, but thought better of it. He slowly moved forward in his chair, but before getting up, he tried again, "Allie," he whispered, reaching out tentatively toward her but deciding not to touch her at the last second. "…I'm sorry…"

Allie didn't even look at him. Kendall shifted uncomfortably when he saw the look of confusion and disappointment on the raven haired boy's face. He hoped the boy would not mess up his game too badly after all of this.

Gage finally stood and took his leave, closing the door quietly behind him.

"K, so he's gone," Kendall said pointedly at Allie. "It's obvious he knows what's going on with you three. It's my turn. So, talk."

And no one said a word. Not even Ashley.

Kendall thought he could play the waiting game with them, hopeful that Ashley would pop again, but nothing.

These girls weren't going to give an inch.

"Allie." He tried saying each of their names and staring them down, hoping to get a response. Of course, the blonde girl didn't respond. She was actually beginning to look quite bored.

"Maggie." The red headed girl as least _looked_ at him, but shook her head apologetically, before looking down again.

"Ashley." He tried to get a response out of the girl who was more easily intimidated last, and it sort of worked.

"I'm _really_ sorry, Coach Knight…but some things really aren't any of your business," the brunette mumbled, flushing at her own words.

Kendall nodded, accepting her words.

"We're _obviously_ not going to talk," Allie finally said, exasperated. "Would you either say something else, or just let us go? I don't see the point of this at all."

"And I don't see the point of you even being here if you're going to act like this," Kendall said.

Allie shrugged, "You forced me to be here. I only did it for Gage."

"The same boy you just ignored and told to leave when he only wanted to be here to support you?" Kendall asked.

"Yet another thing that isn't any of your business," Allie replied.

"Well, I know what my business _is_, and it's this summer camp, and this hockey program, and I'm not interested in any more repeats. So, if you won't work out the problem, and you don't want to be here, then I think it would be best if you just leave."

Silence met his words.

In truth, he was a little surprised at his self. He never thought he'd have to send someone home. He was usually a very understanding guy and managed to work things out with everyone. But, it seemed pretty obvious to him that if, as she said, he _forced_ her to stay, then maybe he should give her the freedom to leave if she didn't really want to be there.

Her eyes slid slowly to meet his. Green clashed with green. Kendall strangely felt like he was looking into his own eyes for a second. But that was weird and random. He just cleared his head and focused on her again.

She nodded stiffly and stood up, heading for the door.

If he wasn't mistaken though, he could have sworn her eyes were glistening…he hated to think he'd made the girl cry…but why would she even _cry?_ He was just giving her an out. This wasn't meant to hurt her feelings. He was honestly just trying to help her—which was also his reason for trying to fix the problem between the three girls in the first place.

"No, stop," Maggie called out to Allie. "Allie, stop! Coach Knight, please don't send her home. I'll stop messing with her, okay? I'm sorry, okay? You just don't understand. This is all my fault, okay? You don't need to send her home. Send me! She needs to stay here!"

"Maggie, just stop," Allie snapped.

"Please, Coach Knight," Maggie begged, ignoring the blonde girl.

"It's up to her now," Kendall said, shrugging. "I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Plus, _she_ was the one messing with you, not the other way around. I saw everything that happened out there."

"What about Gage?" Allie asked quietly, looking everywhere but at him once again, but this time the anger had definitely given way to sadness.

"He's more than earned his place here," Kendall responded, strangely relieved that she still cared enough about Gage to ask. If she was really completely upset with Gage, she wouldn't have cared about his future at the hockey camp. "You don't have to worry that I'll send him home if you leave."

Allie nodded and then she was gone, closing the door just as quietly as Gage had.

Maggie went to get up to go after her, but Ashley grabbed her arm to stop her. "Just stop, Mags. She's not ready to forgive you yet. She has too much to deal with right now to even try to fix this."

The red head slumped back down, looking absolutely miserable.

Ashley looked at Kendall, eyes flashing, "You're really good at that, aren't you? Turning your back on people."

Kendall didn't have a chance to respond or even try to figure out what in the world she meant before she grabbed Maggie's arm, dragging her, as she stormed out of the office, slamming the office door shut.

* * *

She hated him. She hated him. She hated him. She hated him!

And she hated that she hated him. The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. That's what she wanted. She wanted to be indifferent to Kendall Knight.

But she wasn't. She stupidly just kept on hating him. She gave him this power over her that she didn't even realize existed until now.

She brushed angrily at the tears in her eyes.

He made her cry. She couldn't believe it. She nearly burst into tears in front of the man!

Even when she was sitting in front of Uncle Carlos a month ago, feeling completely rejected by the man she'd known and loved her entire life who was telling her that she couldn't stay with him because _Kendall's_ kids were going to be there that summer, she was able to properly hold onto her emotions until she could get away.

Not this time. This time she could feel the tears gather in her eyes. She had to get up and move, turn away from him before he saw. She hated Kendall Knight with every fiber of her being… and, yet, somewhere deep inside… she wanted him to care. She wanted him to look at her and know who she was. She wanted him to tell her it was all a mistake, that he wished he hadn't ignored her all her life. She wanted him to accept her. She hated that she needed him. She hated that he had never been there for her.

She _hated_ Kendall Knight!

And now she was in tears, trying to get back to her dorm room before anyone noticed, all because Kendall Knight, her uncle, had just sent her away. He didn't know, of course, how _could_ he know, that he had just rejected her for the second time in her life?

She couldn't breathe.

She had to stop and sit on a bench, head in her hands.

Why did things have to be so hard? Why couldn't her life be more normal?

She had asked herself those same questions a million times, but she knew that nothing would ever change her present circumstances.

She tried to calm down. She needed to think.

If she was leaving, she needed to get in touch with Sophie. She needed to figure out where to stay until Sophie could talk to Daddy. It was possible she could be on a flight to New York by that evening. It was all very possible…

But it didn't help the fact that everything was a mess. Could she really walk away from Kendall Knight without telling him who she was? This would probably be the only chance she would ever have… but could she do it? Did she really want to do it? What if what he said just hurt her even more? She wanted to be indifferent to him and not _care_ what he had to say…but she wasn't. Maybe it would be best to just leave without him ever knowing.

Yeah, that would be best.

But there was also Gage.

She shouldn't have treated him the way she had. He didn't deserve it. She knew he was confused. She needed to tell him that none of this was his fault. She needed to tell him that she was scared of leaning on people too much because she didn't want to get hurt.

She knew he knew _something_ about what was going on with her and the girls. From what Ashley said, though, she was pretty sure Gage didn't know about her connection to Kendall.

And maybe it was time he knew.

He really hadn't ever done anything but support her. She knew deep down that she could trust him. She just let her fears get in the way and make her push him away. She couldn't leave without trying to apologize to him. But he had a game at the moment…

She decided to just send him a text with a few pertinent details then go pack. She would try to find him before she left.

* * *

Sophie was trying hard not to fidget.

She was sitting in the stands at Weston's male ice hockey game placed between Carlos, on her left, and Jo, on her right. The kids were all sitting a few rows down in front of them, enjoying the second period of the game and not having a care in the world. They had no idea what was going on with their parents, like the fact that Carlos was _not_ happy with her at the moment. Carlos wasn't very happy with Jo either but he knew that Sophie was the one who got the ball rolling on the entire Alex situation.

By the time she got back from town, there was barely enough time to pee before heading _back_ out the door to get to the game on time. Carlos somehow managed to get her away from everyone though. He had enough time to tell her that he knew that Alex was at Weston, inform her that James and Logan were on their way to Pipestone—James would be there later that evening, and let her know that he was pretty sure _she_ was responsible for this happening.

She tried to explain that she did it because it was time for Kendall and Alex to meet and get to know each other. She tried to explain that it was what was best for Alex. Carlos said he understood why she did it... and then he left the room, calling the kids to hurry up so they weren't late.

Sophie wanted to talk things out more; she wanted to know how upset Carlos was with her. But there just hadn't been any time. She hoped that he could forgive her for butting into everything.

"There he is!" Noah, the youngest of Kendall's boys, called out, pointing and waving at his father as he made his way over to them.

"Sorry I'm late," Kendall said when reached them. He slid into the seat next to his wife and gave Jo a quick peck on the cheek. "Had to take care of some business…

"So, how's the game going, boys?" Kendall asked the kids. "I see Weston is winning!"

"That guy, number twelve?" Caleb said, pointing to the ice. "He's gotten every single goal!"

"One guy?" Kendall said, looking to the ice, clearly impressed. Then he grinned. "That's Gage."

"Gage?" Jo asked, "You mean that boy you've been training every morning?"

Kendall nodded proudly. "I knew he would do well, but I didn't think he'd do _that_ well. Four goals _already_? The second period just started!"

"No one can touch him, Dad!" Caleb exclaimed. "And they're all gunnin for him now too, but he flies right around their defense!"

They all turned their attention to the ice then, and sure enough, Number Twelve was in control of the puck. He drove the puck forward, barreling around one person, bulldozing through another. It seemed to Sophie as if he was a little _too_ intense, like he was playing with more than just the need to win, but she figured maybe it was just her.

The kid sped across the ice, tricked the goalie completely and _woosh_! The buzzer sounded and everyone cheered, the Weston team members went crazy on the ice.

Sophie frowned a little when the kid who made the score didn't even raise his stick in victory. Had he been acting that way the entire first period? She honestly hadn't paid that much attention due to her nervousness. The kid was certainly acting straight though. He just went back to his starting position on the ice, preparing for the next play.

"Huh," Kendall said, frowning slightly.

"He seems… a little… intense," Carlos said to Kendall.

"Well, I told him to think about Allie…this girl he likes? I figured he might mess up considering what happened earlier with her… but it just seems to be making him even better than I expected…" Kendall finished, saying the last part almost to his self.

"What happened with Allie?" Sophie and Jo leaned forward and asked at the same time, concerned.

Carlos looked between the women, obviously confused about why they cared so much. When Sophie looked at him knowingly and pointedly, she could tell when things clicked and he realized that Allie was really Alex. Then she saw him frown and she shifted in her seat. She had only just learned from Jo that Alex was really at Weston because of a boy, not because of Kendall. She felt uncomfortable knowing that Carlos was just now figuring it all out too. She was concerned for Alex's wellbeing, but she knew that Alex was a smart girl with an intelligent head on her shoulders. She hadn't followed a boy to Weston just to get a lot of alone time with him. Sophie just needed a chance to talk to Alex to clear everything up. In the meantime, though, it looked bad.

Kendall shook his head. "The girls' game was a mess. A fight broke out. Gage had Allie's back, of course, but the girl seemed like she wanted nothing to do with him. Even sent him away. Guess she's _really_ the only thing on his mind right now."

They all looked to the ice once more. Sophie winced when Number Twelve slammed an opponent against the boards, stole the puck, and went racing for the goal. The opponent slumped to the ground, dazed, but was making his way to his feet a few moments later.

The buzzer sounded and cheers resounded.

Sophie smiled at her sons when they leapt to their feet along with the Knight boys and cheered. At least they were having fun. She was still feeling antsy, and still worried about what Carlos was thinking.

She looked over at her husband and tried to catch his eye. They'd always been on the same wavelength, so it was only a moment before he was turning his head to look at her. She gave him a hesitant smile. She knew she couldn't talk to him until later, but she could at least feel him out a little. They'd had silly arguments over even sillier things before, but this was about as serious as it got.

He looked down and sighed. He reached to the side and took her hand, giving it a slight squeeze. He gave her a forced smiled, his face still troubled, but it was enough.

Sophie let out a little breath of relief. Carlos may not be happy with her, and he may be extremely worried about what was going on, but he knew she needed some reassurance and had offered her what he could. He was telling her that he loved her and could forgive her.

She shifted her hand and threaded her fingers through his, squeezing his hand back.

_God,_ she loved her husband.

Now that Sophie didn't have to worry about Carlos, she began to focus on the next huge problem… James and Logan were coming! Was this actually going to happen? Would everything finally be brought out into the open? Is it too much to hope that everything will work out? Will Kendall and Alex be able to form some sort of relationship? Will Kendall be able to put aside his feelings toward his former best friends? Is she crazy to think that maybe Kendall could get to a place where he could forgive them?

Sophie sighed to herself, knowing she really _was_ being crazy. Kendall lost his sister. Katie didn't just wonder off or go traveling across the world; she didn't just lose touch with her brother over time. Katie was dead. Sophie had never lost a sibling but she was certain it wasn't something you ever got over. They always had a place in your heart. You would always mourn their loss and wish things hadn't happened the way they had. You would always wonder ,"What if?" But nothing you said or felt or wished would ever change what happened. She knew that hoping for Kendall to reconcile with James and Logan was pointless...it didn't stop her from hoping though.

Alex was different. Alex had done nothing wrong. Sophie had been brought into this family long after it imploded, but she knew everyone. She considered them all her family, but Alex most of all. Alex was the daughter she never had but always hoped for.

She wanted this so badly for Alex. She wanted Alex to know Kendall. She wanted Kendall to know Alex. Maybe she shouldn't have made it her business to get involved, but she couldn't help it. This had to happen _now_. It'd already taken too long.

A loud noise sounded, startling Sophie from her thoughts as all the players fled the ice for the locker room. The second period must have ended while she wasn't paying attention.

"I'm gonna go see how the guys are doing," Kendall said, standing up.

"You mean, see how Gage is doing," Jo said knowingly.

"Yeah. He's not himself though he's playing extremely well," Kendall sighed. "And he's going to get worse once he finds out Allie's leaving."

"What?" Sophie nearly shrieked.

Everyone looked at her, even the kids, clearly startled at her outburst.

Kendall frowned in confusion and raised an eyebrow, "Yeah...between the fight and the fact that the girl didn't really want to be here anyway, I told her if she wanted to leave, she could."

Sophie's heart dropped.

Jo's mouth fell open, "You mean... you _kicked_her out?"

He shook his head, "Not really... I left the choice up to her. She didn't want to be here. She was only staying because of Gage. I'm pretty sure she didn't like me that much to begin with. If she really hates me for _letting_ her leave, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'll ever see her again anyway."

Jo winced while Sophie tried not to freak out. Carlos glared at both of the women.

"I'll be back..." Kendall said, still uncertain as to why all the adults were acting so weird. He shrugged to himself and took off for the locker room.

"Are you two happy now?" Carlos asked, furious. "And who is Gage? _What_ is going on here?"

"Caleb, Carter," Jo called out, reaching for her purse. "Take the boys to get some snacks, please." She pushed a fifty into Caleb's hand. "Not too many sweets. You'll spoil their dinner."

Caleb raised an eyebrow, suspicion evident on his face. "...okay, Mom..."

The adults waited impatiently for the kids to leave, Jo groaning quietly when Caleb _and_ Carter kept looking back at them with questions in their eyes.

"They know something is up. This is bad. Caleb will ask. I know he will. I can't lie to my kids," Jo said.

"Huh, well, because of you guys, everyone's going to find out everything soon enough," Carlos replied. "Do you really think James and Logan are going to get Alex out of here before Kendall finds out what's up?"

"I don't want them to," Sophie said firmly. "Kendall _should_ know."

"Sophie, I love you and I know you think you're doing the right thing, but you're wrong this time," Carlos argued. "He sent her home. He _sent_ her _home_! That just makes everything ten times worse already! And why hasn't she called you and told you yet? She's not missing _again,_is she?"

Sophie blanched and looked to her wristband. "I forgot; I set it on stealth mode while I was talking to the artisan shop owner. Let's see... two text messages, two missed calls. They're all her. She says she's leaving the school; that she's packing now. She'll just stay in her dorm room until she hears from me."

"Did she say anything about Kendall?" Jo asked, worried.

"No... she didn't leave a voice mail, just sent the messages. She must have sent those once she couldn't reach me. She sounds... not bothered," Sophie said.

Carlos shook his head, "Oh, she's bothered. Trust me."

"I'll go get her now..." Sophie started.

"And have Kendall wonder where you went?" Carlos asked. "No, just... you and Jo get her after the game. I'll distract Kendall and then take all the boys home. You take Alex home in Jo's car. Okay?"

They agreed.

* * *

Kendall was worried about Gage. The kid wasn't normally quite _that_ aggressive on the ice. Admittedly, it was hockey and people got aggressive. But Gage seemed like a robot, hell bent on doing nothing other than planting that puck in the goal over and over again. And damn if he didn't do it. This game belonged to Gage. The second period was over, one more to go, and the score was 8-0, Weston. And every single one of those goals belonged to Gage.

The blonde coach walked confidently into the locker room. He needed to check in with the coaches and then he was going to check in with Gage. He knew it was showing extra favoritism to only check on one player, but he really didn't care at the moment.

"Coach," Kendall said, approaching Coach Wilson. He didn't come there to gloat, but from the attitude coming off of Wilson, you would think he _had_.

"Well, guess all that extra special training of his paid off," Wilson said. "Come to rub it in that he wiped the floor with the other team _and_ all of his team mates?"

"You're out of line," Kendall responded quietly, not wishing to draw attention to their conversation. He peeked over toward Gage, spotting him using a towel to sop up the sweat pouring off his head, his helmet on the bench beside him.

Wilson pressed his lips together, like he wanted to say something else smart-mouthed, but thought better of it.

"I didn't arrive at the game 'til the second period, or I would've said this sooner. I think Gage is doing well, but he needs to work with the team more," Kendall continued. "You _are_ his coach, and it's your job to instruct him just like the other boys. I said to start him today. I didn't say to treat him like he's special. Do what you need to do for the good of the team, _not_the game."

"And if I bench him in the third period for hoggin' the puck?" Wilson asked, some of his tension easing as reason returned.

"It's perfectly understandable," Kendall answered. "It's _your_ team." He glanced over at Gage again and saw him going through his locker and come out with his wrist phone—the guys weren't permitted to wear them while on the ice.

"I wasn't too sure about that..." Wilson said pointedly, but his attitude was basically gone. He was looking at Gage now too.

Kendall rested his hand on the older, shorter man's shoulder and turned his attention back to the other coach. "Just consider this his second try-out for _you_," he said. "Now that he's proven himself good enough, it's time that _you_ mold him into the best player he can be. You can handle that, right?"

"Of course," Wilson said, almost pompously. "He is impressive, I'll give him that."

Glad to have worked through a potentially bad situation and come out with everyone on top, Kendall started to smile.

"C-coach, can I talk to y-you for a m-minute?" Gage interrupted the two, stumbling over his words more than usual. Since he only did that when he was extremely nervous, Kendall's curiosity was piqued.

"Gage, Coach Wilson and I were just talking about you, I think he wants a minute of your time too," Kendall said, nodding at Wilson to take it from here.

Gage shuffled his feet, his body extremely tense. "Coach Knight, it's really important."

"And it can wait," Wilson instructed. "We have two more minutes before we go back out there and you should be getting your helmet on and your head in the game."

Gage looked back and forth between the two coaches, his face turning red. Kendall realized that Gage wasn't nervous at all. He'd never seen the boy mad before because he was mostly a fun loving person, but he was fairly certain this was a slight temper.

Before Kendall could prevent a scene, Gage said, "You sent Allie home."

It wasn't a question, but his eyes were clearing begging Kendall to deny it. Gage didn't like verbal confrontations, and was actually really diplomatic, trying to make everybody happy and just go with the flow. This time he was definitely mad but was trying to hold onto his usual composure.

"I didn't send her, but, yes, she's going home," he sighed.

"You told me it was okay to leave, that everything would be okay," Gage said, voice shaking slightly. Kendall knew it was because he was used to being as respectful as possible. It was going against the grain for Gage to stand up to Kendall, but he was making himself do it anyway.

"And it is, you know she didn't want to be here. You're okay to stay, don't worry about that, if you are," Kendall was quick to reassure.

"The game starts in one more minute, Peterson. The game waits for no one," Wilson interrupted. The man looked like he had no idea what was going on, but was bored nonetheless. The man walked off to make sure the rest of the team was ready.

Gage just stared at Kendall, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind.

Kendall waited for the boy to speak, not liking the desperate look in Gage's eyes at all.

"I gotta go," Gage finally said, looking around, appearing a little lost. He took a few steps back toward his locker and started removing his padding.

"What are you doing?" Kendall asked.

"I can't finish the game. Everything's a mess now and…she needs me," Gage grumbled out as he unwrapped his shin guards, tossing everything aside as quickly as possible.

"Gage, you can't just-"

"I'm leaving," Gage muttered, finishing up and grabbing a sweater out of his locker to put on over his sweatpants.

Kendall sighed, knowing it was pointless to argue. "Fine, go. I'll make up something to tell Wilson."

Gage paused in his movements, "Really?"

Kendall peered heavenward, as if looking for strength. "Yes. He was going to bench you anyway. Plus…"

Gage's brow crinkled, not sure why he was going to be benched, but he decided to forget about it for now. "Plus?" He walked into his sneakers, squishing his feet into the shoes as he tossed odds and ends from his locker into his gym bag.

"You probably should go… She acted like she didn't care…but I think she did," Kendall finally admitted. "If she wants to stay, she can… but she needs to settle things with the other two first."

Gage just shook his head. "Easier said than done." He grabbed the bag and turned to leave but stopped, looking over his shoulder hesitantly.

"Thanks, coach…for everything," Gage gave a small smile.

Kendall nodded and Gage took off.

* * *

Her sadness had given way to anger.

She really shouldn't have taken it out on her belongings, but she couldn't help it. She was supposed to pack, so everything ended up getting thrown into her bags and her suitcase haphazardly. She didn't even stop to think that maybe dumping all her toiletries—like her shampoo and lotions—on top of her clothes could end up making a giant mess if something popped opened in transit.

Nope, she didn't care about anything at the moment except getting as far away from Weston as possible. Heck, she just wanted to get as far away from Minnesota as possible! Maybe she could ask Daddy if they could go to London with Dad, even though she knew how much Daddy hated the rain and humidity present in the summer months.

Anywhere was better than Pipestone, Minnesota though.

She heard a knock at the door and paused in her packing. She looked at her wrist phone and noted that she didn't have any missed calls or texts, and the time indicated that Gage's game was still in session so more than likely everyone she knew _in_ Pipestone was still occupied. So, who was at the door?

She opened the door and actually felt her anger dissipate as she stared into the concerned eyes of the boy she was scared to admit she was slowly falling in love with.

"Gage…"

"I didn't get your text until the second period ended," Gage explained. "I came as soon as I saw it. I would've been here sooner if I had—"

"Come in…" she said, motioning him inside.

He nodded and entered the room. He hovered in the middle of the room, unsure about what to do with himself or what to say.

Alex walked over and sunk to the floor, sitting with her back against her bed.

Gage paced around, "I talked to coach; he said if you worked things out with the girls that you could stay. I mean, I _want _you to stay, but I know you don't like them and—"

"Gage?" she interrupted.

"Yeah?" he stopped his mindless rambling.

"What do you know…about me and the girls…or, w-what do you know about me…in general?" Alex asked, staring in his eyes.

"I-I… more than I should without finding out from you… I'm sorry, Alex," Gage said, hesitantly sinking to the floor near her, deciding it just made him feel even more awkward to be pacing and standing so much taller than her at the moment.

"It's okay," Alex said quietly. "Just tell me what you know."

"I overheard a lot of your conversation with Ashley and Maggie the other night," he admitted. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I followed you, in case you needed me, and I heard… I know what the fight was about."

His eyes looked pained as he met hers.

She nodded and looked down. "Is that all?"

"Also… I found out that, um, James Diamond, used to be in Big Time Rush with Coach Knight… So I looked up some stuff…" he winced, waiting for her to get angry with him.

He was surprised when she just nodded, still looking at the floor.

"And what did you find out?" she nearly whispered.

"That…the band was successful, very popular…but they broke up when Coach's little sister died. No one really knew _why _they broke up…or why Kendall was never seen around his band mates again…" he trailed off, not sure what else to say.

Alex was silent for a few long moments before she finally worked up the courage to tell him her biggest secret.

"His sister died August twenty fourth, two thousand fourteen…" She looked up, her glassy eyes meeting his confused ones. "Two days after I was born…"

"So you're saying…" Gage's eyes involuntarily flared as everything began to connect in his head.

"His sister was my mother…and I killed her," she said, nearly choking on the last words, but she had decided to tell him everything…so he needed to know it all.

Gage shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the shock so that he could address the very _real_ issue at hand. Before he could speak, though, she started talking. It was like a dam had burst and she was suddenly pouring everything out.

"As soon as I was old enough to understand what Dad and Daddy meant by 'Mommy went to heaven, but she's always watching over you' and what death really meant, I began to ask more questions. They were always truthful with me, but as tactful as possible… Basically, both of them had slept with my mother. Neither of them knew she was pregnant, she kept it a secret. She went to her father's and planned to have me in secret and give me up for adoption. No one would have known anything if she hadn't had complications after giving birth. After she died, they decided to raise me together…and never found out which one was my biological father. They both love me, and will always call me their daughter, no matter what…But…they didn't have to explain all the details for me to eventually understand that they decided to raise me together because neither of them wanted to be responsible for killing my mother. But the truth was, _I_ did it."

Gage started shaking his head again when she paused to gasp. She had silent tears running down her cheeks, holding back the sobs.

"She was only _sixteen_," she revealed desperately. "She had her whole life ahead of her and she would've had it too if I had never been born! I killed my mother!"

Gage finally managed to speak past the lump in his throat, "No, Alex, no…No, you didn't."

She denied his words, "Yes, I—"

"No!" he interrupted her firmly. "Your mother loved you. She would never have blamed you for that."

"How do you know?" she asked in disbelief.

"Because she kept you," he responded. "She could have…not gone through with it…but she—"

Alex was quick to shake her head, "She was going to give me up!"

"That doesn't mean she didn't love you, Alex," he explained. "In fact, it means she loved you even more. She knew she wasn't ready. She was going to do what was best for _you_."

Alex sat quietly, taking in his words, trying to process how they made her feel.

"I'd still rather I had died instead of her…" she looked down again.

Gage reached out and gently touched her chin, bring her head back up. "And I know she would've rather died than you."

More tears pooled and slipped from her eyes.

In a small voice she asked, "You really think she loved me?"

"Yes," Gage nodded emphatically. "And you _didn't_ kill her."

"She died from a pulmonary embolism brought about_ because_ of the pregnancy," she argued, but not as certain in her conviction this time.

"What's a pulmonary embolism?" Gage asked.

"A blot clot traveling to the lungs and shutting them down," she answered.

"There, see? A blood clot to the lungs is what killed her, _not_ you," Gage insisted.

"But…it wouldn't have happened if I—,"

"Stop!" Gage commanded. "Everyone seems to be playing the blame game. You, both of your dads, but the blame game gets you _nowhere_. Everything happens for a reason. She died because it was her time. There was nothing anyone could've done to change it _then_ or _now_! Just live, Alex… that's the only thing she ever really wanted for you…"

Alex felt a thousand emotions crashing down on her all at once as she stared at him in shock. She had never once thought about things that way but…

Gage was right.

She wrapped her arms around her waist and gasped, trying to find the ability to breathe. This entire conversation had been so hard on her, especially since she had made herself numb for years. The guilt of knowing that she caused her mother's death had always been too overwhelming. The only way to get past it was to shove the feelings away, to act like it didn't bother her when deep down she acknowledged the truth, allowing her feelings to escape on rare occasions, usually at night when she couldn't sleep, and resulting in a quick phone call to Dad who would sing to her. Mostly Dad was out of town when it happened, which didn't surprise her either considering that Dad was her rock, the one she depended on to be at home all the time, whereas her jet-setting Daddy was usually away on business.

But now…the guilt, the shame, the blame, all the things she put on herself. They were just gone, and in its place was the most amazing feeling of relief and love. She wasn't responsible for her mother's demise. And, the funny thing was, as soon as she accepted Gage's words, the calm she felt made all the confusion stop and she actually _felt_ her mother's love for her…if that made sense. Sometimes she felt way too deep inside her own head…

"Thank you…," she managed to whisper.

Gage reached out and ran an arm around her shoulders, twisting to sit next to her and draw her into his side.

"No problem," he murmured, holding her tightly when she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. He laid his head on top of hers, but didn't dare plant a quick peck in her hair. He knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg. Alex still had a lot of issues that needed to be dealt with, not the least of which was her fear of being romantically involved with anyone.

Alex's tears subsided, and she settled more firmly into Gage. She felt incredibly safe with him, so protected. And she had so much affection for him. In such a short time, he had become so important to her. So much so, that she didn't know what she'd do without him.

"I don't want to leave Weston…" she murmured. And she didn't. Not because of Kendall Knight, but because she wouldn't be able to see Gage for two months. "But I have to."

He nodded even though he knew she couldn't see it, and murmured into her hair, "I figured as much. Knowing who Coach Knight is now, I can't believe you agreed to do this for me. Thank _you_."

Alex shrugged slightly, then paused, "You…won't tell him who I am, right?"

"Of course not," Gage said firmly, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I would never…but I think you should talk to him…though, I don't really know why you don't like him or why he doesn't know who you are but—"

"We can save that story for another day, okay?" Alex asked, pulling back slightly, and looking up, her eyes silently begging.

"Yeah," Gage nodded, quick to reassure her.

"Thanks," she said with a small smile.

Gage was _so_ close to asking her about the argument with Ashley and Maggie, knowing that Alex needed to work that out in her mind too, but he realized how incredibly selfish it would be to bring it up now. He wanted to be with Alex more than anything, but he wasn't going to push her into anything. Until ten minutes ago, the girl thought she was responsible for her mother's death. She needed Gage, the _friend_, right now. She didn't need Gage, the potential _boyfriend_.

He wouldn't have had time to talk it out anyway because there was a loud knock at Alex's dorm room door.

They both jumped, startled at the unexpected sound. Alex clambered to her feet unsteadily and made her way over to open it.

"Alex!" Sophie exclaimed as soon as the door opened. She walked straight forward and wrapped the younger girl in her arms, so glad to see her, but also incredibly worried about everything.

As she hugged her niece, she noticed the teenager sitting on the floor against the bed. _So that was where he went when he left the game before the third period._ The boy gave a small uncertain smile with a slight wave. The "boy" was big. She could tell that he had to be tall. He had long arms and long legs, and would have been gangly if not for the muscles that were building from his hockey conditioning. The boy was, as Sophie was sure the teenage girls would say, _hot_! Sophie managed to control her wild imagination, knowing better than to judge someone without getting to know them, and even though Jo's first reaction was to think something was going on between Alex and Gage, Sophie knew Alex better than that—at least she liked to think so.

"Hi, Aunt Sophie," Alex mumbled into her shoulder. "C-c-can't breathe."

Sophie jumped back. "Sorry! Okay, I got your message, and I see that you've started packing but…" She looked at Alex's open suitcase on the bed. "I thought you were better at packing than that. Here." She walked over and started refolding clothes, taking toiletries out of the suitcase and stuffing them into a backpack she found on the dresser.

"Hi, Alex…" A quiet voice came from the still open door.

Alex turned around and saw a thin blonde woman who she recognized immediately from her television shows currently in syndication. "J-Jo…" Alex cleared her throat. "I mean, Aunt Jo…hi."

Jo was staring at the girl in complete shock. She had seen pictures of her when she was younger and knew that the girl looked nothing like Logan or James, but she had always assumed that when she met her she'd be able to tell immediately which one the girl favored and everyone else was just keeping it to themselves for James' and Logan's sake.

This girl was Kendall, through and through. If Jo and Kendall had ever been blessed with a daughter, she would look exactly like Alex. Her hair was the shade of blonde that her husband sported during the summer. She had his height; she had his forehead; she had his cheeks. That smile was a hybrid of Kendall and Katie. And the eyes…Jo felt tears welling as she looked into the eyes that were an exact replica of her husband's and their youngest son, Noah.

"You look just like him," she whispered, unable to control herself.

Alex knew exactly who Jo meant, of course. And she hated that about herself, but she'd rather look like Kendall than look more like Logan or James. She liked not knowing which one was her biological father. If she had her way, she would never find out. Still, it didn't make her feel better knowing that she so closely resembled her uncle.

"I have the better nose," Alex replied. Then she remembered that she wasn't exactly happy with the woman for making accusations about her relationship with Gage.

She turned away abruptly and went to help Sophie who was going through her desk now.

"Aunt Sophie, this is Gage," she said, looking at the boy who was still on the floor.

Gage quickly scrambled to his feet and nearly tripped trying to get to Sophie fast enough. He put his hand out, "Hello, Mrs. Garcia, I'm Gage Peterson. I go to school with Alex."

"Hi," Sophie said hesitantly. She looked at Alex who appeared hopeful. It was clear from the smile on Alex's face that the girl liked this boy _a lot_. And Alex had always been a good judge of character. Sophie made herself relax and reach out for Gage's hand, smiling broadly at him.

"It's nice to meet you, Gage," Sophie said warmly. "And I look forward to hearing _so_ much more about you," she finished with a wink and a pointed look at Alex.

Alex nodded, knowing she indeed had a lot of explaining to do later.

Even though Alex was deliberately ignoring Jo, Gage was too much of a gentleman to do the same. "Mrs. Knight," Gage said, holding his hand out for her too.

Jo shook his hand, giving him a warm smile as well. She knew she had completely overstepped her bounds as far as Alex was concerned on the phone the previous day. And this boy seemed sweet, awkward, and incredibly harmless. She could tell why Kendall had taken to him.

"Alex, I need to apologize," Jo said, eyes following her friend and her niece as they finished with the desk and moved on to the closet.

Alex just shrugged.

"I was completely out of line. If you can't forgive me, I understand. But I would really like to start over," Jo tried.

"It doesn't even matter, and starting over doesn't really matter either because any tiny connection I might have made with the Knight family this summer ends today," Alex said, finally turning to meet Jo's eyes. Alex wasn't speaking in anger this time, but in truth and fact.

"Alex—"

"So, Aunt Sophie?" the girl cut off the other woman before she could make another half-hearted attempt at staying in contact with her. "Do you know where I can go until you get in touch with Daddy? I know I can't come to your house since _they'll_be there. I could stay at a hotel or something until Sebastian can drive here to pick me up? Or even stay here until then, I mean, _that _man can't expect me to just leave the day he kicks me out. What if my parents couldn't get here in the same day?"

"You'll be coming to the house," Sophie said, putting a few last things into the suitcase and zipping it shut quickly.

"But—"

Sophie turned and sat on the edge of the bed, meeting Alex's eyes, the face of seriousness. "James will be here sometime tonight. It was the earliest flight he could get. Logan will probably be here sometime tomorrow morning."

Alex froze. "What's going on?"

"James and Carlos figured out this morning that you weren't where you're supposed to be," Sophie explained.

Alex paled. "So they know…"

"They know that you're at Weston and they know Kendall is here. That's _all_ they know," Sophie's eyes travelled to Gage's uncomfortable figure for a moment.

"If they come, there's more of a chance of Kendall finding out…" Alex pointed out, feeling a little sick.

"Well, I think it's about time, don't you?" Sophie asked.

Alex didn't answer.

* * *

Mikey was feeling like he had just been conned, but he wasn't entirely sure how it happened.

He wished Caleb and Carter were around to help, but the two had gone off by themselves as soon as they got back from the game, leaving Mikey to entertain the younger boys.

They were all playing a game with marbles—yes, marbles. Even though it was pretty lame for an eleven-year-old, Leo and Noah had begged him to play with them. After his talk with Caleb, Mikey had decided he wanted to be a better brother to Leo, and if playing marbles with him for a little while was all it took to _be_ better, than Mikey would do it. But _only_ for a little while.

Somehow, though, it had turned into a betting game and before he knew it, he was handing over his most prized helmet—the first one his father ever got him—to his littlest cousin. It wasn't like he still wore it, or even wore his current one that much, but it had sentimental value. _How_ _was he going to get it back?_

Noah grinned and plopped the helmet on his head of white blonde hair. "Now I look like you!" He gushed to Leo.

The youngest Garcia giggled and jumped up and down, excited.

"Okay, how about we play a little longer so I can try to win that back," Mikey urged. _Why had he agreed to make a bet with it?_

"Nu uh," Noah shook his head.

"_Noah_," Mikey said, getting annoyed and not wanting to beg the four-year-old.

They could hear the front door opening and Leo immediately jumped to his feet.

"Mommy!" he yelled. Then he ran for the front door, excited. He didn't care that it had only been an hour or so since he last saw her.

Noah grinned at Mikey and went running to see his mother too.

Mikey groaned and got up to follow. Hopefully Caleb could figure out a way to get the helmet back. Caleb always had some sort of plan.

"Who's that?" Mikey could hear Noah ask as he rounded the corner into the foyer.

Leo practically squealed in excitement, "Alex!"

The oldest Garcia boy was probably just about as excited as the younger one, but he managed to keep his cool. He was curious though. Why was his cousin there? No one had told him she was coming. Plus, she had more bags with her than she usually did. And Aunt Jo was helping her and his mom. He didn't think Aunt Jo even knew Alex, so it was kind of a little weird.

He almost called out to Alex in greeting before he realized she wasn't her usual happy self. She barely looked at Leo. She gave him a small smile, but seemed to want to get upstairs as fast as she could.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs though, Carter and Caleb were coming down.

They paused on the steps, both curious and confused, not knowing who she was, and also wondering which side of the stairs they should move to so she could make her way up. Carter bumped into Caleb when he tried to move to the side Caleb was on. Carter wobbled, but Caleb grabbed him before he lost his balance and yanked him over to his side. Then they both, once again, looked at the girl they'd never seen before, wondering why she looked oddly familiar. They could also tell she was older than them, plus, she was really pretty. So, their curiosity and confusion also gave way to nervousness.

"Hi," Caleb said softly.

Alex quickly looked everywhere else, avoiding their scrutiny. She stopped and moved off to the opposite side, giving them a clear path to finish walking down the stairs. She wanted to stay as far away from these boys as possible. She didn't want to know them at all. She knew that they didn't even know she existed. She was hoping to keep it that way, even if Sophie had tried to convince her to tell Kendall who she really was all the way home.

The blonde boys hesitated, their manners telling them to stay put and let her pass first. They looked to their mother for guidance.

Jo gave a well-meaning smile and nodded. She had been fighting tears for the past hour and thought she'd finally overcome them only to have her emotions go crazy again now that Alex and her sons were meeting for the very first time. The twins were so confused. She could tell they were suspicious earlier at the game, looking even more interested when she had left with Sophie when it ended while sending the boys home with Carlos. She was sure they already had a long discussion amongst themselves trying to figure out what was going on. That they were upstairs alone instead of playing with the younger boys confirmed it. She was _already_ going to get a lot of questions later; but, now that a random strange girl was in the house, she was sure the number of questions just doubled. She wasn't looking forward to that conversation…if only because she knew she would have to tell them to wait for their answers. There was no way she would tell them about Alex without her husband by her side. If his kids were going to learn the truth, Kendall had to be the one to explain it.

The twins quickly shuffled down, careful to stay away from the girl since she seemed to be angry or tense or something. They thought she was trying to ignore them, but that didn't make sense. What did they ever do to her?

"Alex?" Leo reached up and tugged on her arm, grinning up at her hopefully.

Alex really didn't want to be in the presence of all these people longer than she had to, but she couldn't brush off the eight year old.

She sighed and squatted down to Leo's height. She patted Leo on the head, thumping his helmet. "Hey, Leo," she said softly, making herself smile bigger than she really wanted to at the moment.

Leo smiled, "What are you doing here? And guess what? Noah and Caleb and Carter are here! This is so cool!" He looked at Noah, "This is Alex!" He looked at her again, "Noah's always wanted to meet you! Sharks are his favorite too. Just like you!"

Alex adjusted the helmet on his head, straightening it. It was her way of distracting him from his current train of thought. Then, instead of answering, she said softly, "I'm really tired, I'm going to my room now."

"It's not bed time yet!" Leo complained.

"I'm just really tired, okay?" Alex said. "Maybe tomorrow we can…do something." She hated lying to Leo. He was always so happy and joyful. It seemed like a crime to tell the child a falsehood. But she _did_ say "maybe", so… _Nope._ She needed to stop lying to herself. She _had_ just lied to Leo, knowing full well she probably wouldn't be around long enough the next day _to_ do anything…and even if she was, there was no way she was spending any amount of time with the Knight boys.

"Okay!" Leo grinned cheekily and gave Alex a hug. "Get some rest," he patted her shoulder like he had probably seen someone do on television. If Alex wasn't so upset at the moment, she probably would have laughed.

Instead, she hugged Leo back tightly.

When she pulled away, she realized a little body attached to a mess of white blonde hair was standing _really_ close to Leo and was staring at her in utter fascination. Before she could catch herself, she made eye contact with the adorable little boy.

Identical green eyes met each other for a moment before Alex tore her gaze away, stood, and nearly sprinted up the stairs to her room, the bags she was holding slapped against her thighs but she didn't care.

"That was weird," Carter mumbled.

"Why is Alex here?" Mikey asked his mom.

"She's just staying with us for a day or so," Sophie responded, not really answering his question.

"She didn't seem like she liked us," Caleb said. "But maybe she's just shy?"

"Alex is great!" Leo interjected. "She's cool and she knows lots of stuff and—"

"And she has eyes just like me!" Noah boasted. "Mommy, I thought you said not a lot of people have green eyes, but I already know two! Daddy and Alex!"

Sophie cleared her throat. She could see that Jo was about to burst into tears. Her _own _emotions weren't doing too well either. Leave it to Noah, the four year old, to notice what no one else had.

"Boys, go ahead and play. Jo and I are going to take these upstairs and make sure Alex is settled in." Sophie picked up the bag she was carrying and started up the steps.

"I can carry that for you, Aunt Sophie," Caleb said sweetly, completely giving himself away. He knew he'd made it a little too obvious that he wanted to go upstairs and hopefully find out more of what was going on. _Darn_. He needed to work on his inflection more.

Sophie smiled at the boy.

"That's okay," Sophie said. "Go ahead with the others. We'll be fine."

Jo followed Sophie, but she could feel the twins looking at her. She met their eyes and could see a million questions in their depths. Luckily, neither of them said anything else as she passed by.

As she reached the top of the stairs, she paused to look at Sophie. Her emotions were nearly strangling her. She wanted to say something, to talk about what just happened, but the words weren't coming.

"I know," Sophie said, a small sob catching in her throat. "I know."

* * *

"James is pulling in now," Carlos called out hours later as he made his way to the front door.

Jo and Sophie jumped up, grateful the boys were in bed already. It was after ten. They had all been anxiously waiting for James' arrival. Jo told Kendall she'd be staying late to help Sophie with something so she would probably just stay the night—which wasn't really a lie.

"Just stay there," Carlos told them, opening the door and going out to help James and the limousine driver with James' bags as the car came to a complete stop.

Before Carlos could do anything, James hopped out, and nearly sprinted up the walkway into the house.

Carlos just sighed and went to get the bags.

From the moment he ended his video chat session with Carlos that morning, James had been frantic. He knew that Alex had to be okay, but it still freaked him out that he didn't know where she was. He hated that feeling. She was sixteen years old, still underage, and the only time he didn't know where she was at in all those years was when she ran away. So, yes, he was having flashbacks to that day. He couldn't help it. Some people called him over dramatic, but it was his daughter and he could be as worried as he wanted to be!

He'd nearly torn his _own_ hair out trying to get a flight out of New York. Between having to finish up a couple interview spots his management team had arranged and declared _"un-missable"_, dealing with traffic, and finding a flight that would get him to Minnesota as quickly as possible, he'd wanted to scream. All he wanted to do was see Alex.

He wasn't really concerned about the Kendall thing. He could care less if Kendall saw Alex and got his feelings hurt because of it. Kendall could just shove it. Sure, James wished Kendall had forgiven him years ago, but he never had. James wasn't going to weep over it for the rest of his life. And if Kendall didn't want to know Alex? Well, that was his loss.

Now that he'd _finally_ arrived, nothing was going to keep him from his daughter. As soon as the car came to a complete stop, he was on his way into the house.

"James…hi," Sophie said.

"Where is she?" James didn't even look at her when he asked, his eyes frantically looking around the room, trying to see if she was there.

"In her room," Sophie began. "But—"

She was cut off when James took off for the stairs.

"James… James!" She finally hollered out when he was already halfway up the steps and not listening to her previous calls.

"What?" James stopped with barely concealed frustration. He didn't want to stop but she had reached the point that she yelled. So, he stopped because she might have something important to say, but… Why was Sophie trying to hold him back though? Hadn't she done enough by putting them all _in_ this situation?

"She's asleep," Sophie said simply.

"Then I'll wake her up," James looked at her like she was crazy, because shouldn't that be obvious?

"James…" a new voice said softly.

James didn't know how to feel when he realized that Jo Taylor—er, Jo Knight—was actually there too. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen her in the past sixteen years. Usually it was just in passing at an awards show. They always made eye contact and gave each other little nods in greeting, but that was as far as they went—acknowledging their past friendship and their family connection in one little look. Then they continued about their business.

"Jo," James acknowledged her by saying her name this time. He gave a perfunctory nod then decided he was done with being awkward and was going up to see Alex.

"James, she's had a long day. Can you please have it out with her in the morning?" Jo asked. "Just let her rest?"

James stubbornly bore his lips together for a moment. With all his being, he wanted to go up there, wake her up, and demand to know what the hell she was thinking by doing this to him—er, them! Because he knew Logan was as freaked out as he was. Logan had better luck with his flight out of Europe and was probably boarding the next flight after his layover right now. Logan would definitely be in Pipestone by morning…

"Wait until Logan gets here. You two can talk to her together. She won't have to go through it all twice…and she's _really_ had a long day," Jo finished.

James' shoulders slumped. They were right. He was really upset right now and would probably make _her_ upset like all the other times before, like when she was hanging out with that Gage kid. He had been acting without thinking and he really should have taken the time to settle down. But…"I need to see her."

The women both looked like they were about to argue with him.

"But I won't wake her up… I just…I have to see her," he didn't look at either of them again, just finished his sprint up the stairs and hurried to Alex's room.

Jo and Sophie sighed with relief.

When James got to the room, he gave the door a small *tap* *tap* just in case she was awake. James and Logan were really good about knocking on doors and not bursting into rooms. Their family appreciated privacy. Going through his teen years living with three other boys, James knew what it felt like to have someone burst in on him in the middle of something embarrassing.

After receiving no answer, James quietly opened the door and slipped inside.

And there she was. She was asleep, but it looked like she was restless because her blankets were kicked everywhere. A couple of pillows were even on the floor.

He picked up the pillows and put them on the bed on the side she wasn't sprawled across. Then he set about to get the blankets untwisted and back on her without waking her up. He eventually gave up on the sheet and just pulled the comforter up.

He could feel his nerves calming _finally_, now that he could see her. He could see with his own eyes that she was alive and perfectly fine. He smoothed back her sleep crazy hair, being as gentle as possible so as not to wake her. This was one of those moments when he was completely mesmerized by her. It was always so hard for him to believe that she started out as this tiny little baby and was now nearly as tall as him. Her little blonde baby fuzz had all fallen out at one point, making her one gorgeous bald baby, until her hair started growing back. And it never seemed to stop. Just like the rest of her body, that blonde hair grew. Up until she turned four, her hair was white gold, but it slowly darkened to the shade of blonde she had now. And it always looked good. And it always looked just like Kendall's. And he always appreciated that she didn't look like him or Logan because he was content in his little family. Living with Logan and raising Alex was hardly conventional, and it wasn't how he saw himself living back when he was twelve and thinking about his future self, but it was all he wanted for now. Who knew how things will change once Alex goes off to college, turns eighteen, and starts a life of her own?

He didn't like to think about that.

He sighed and sank into the chair at her desk. He needed to sit down, too much panicking had overwhelmed him today. He practiced mind-clearing techniques a yoga instructor had taught him years ago. That barely worked, so he started looking around the room.

From the day the Garcias first moved into this house, Alex had always had the same room. Carlos and Sophie knew that Alex would be visiting a lot; it was the same way when they all lived in California. So they immediately let Alex pick her room. Sophie had a blast shopping with Alex to decorate. The room had changed a couple of times over the years as Alex got older and outgrew certain things. Sophie had always persuaded Alex to go for a more feminine theme instead of the sports themes that Alex was usually drawn to. The room was currently in shades of purple and was a lot like Alex's room at home. It showed that Sophie knew Alex's girly side better than anyone else.

James would always be grateful to Sophie for accepting Alex the way she did. And he would especially always be grateful to Carlos for everything that he had done for Alex.

He could have lost her all those years ago. He could have never known her.

Yet another thing he didn't like to think about.

* * *

Eight in the morning the next day found the adults all congregating in the sitting room closest to the front door. None of them could sleep well, so they all ended up sitting and talking.

Sophie was basically passed out on Carlos by morning. Carlos was just threading his fingers through her hair while lost in his thoughts, wondering what was going to happen that day.

James had left Alex's room around midnight, finally deciding to go downstairs and find out as much as he could from Sophie about the entire situation. He was now completely caught up on what _they_ knew. Around one in the morning, he had to be stopped from going to wake Alex up again. That was when he found out that Gage was in the hockey program too. To say he nearly hit the roof would be an understatement. All of his calm from the night before was gone, and he had tried for hours to convince himself that everything was okay, but it wasn't working. His mind kept thinking of all the things that boy could have done with his daughter without him being there to put a stop to it. He was once a teenage boy, he knew. He wanted to tear the kid's head off, and that wasn't really like him at all. He didn't get this angry. But this entire situation was a mess. _Why_ had Alex done this? Did she really want to be alone with her boyfriend that badly? And Alex hadn't even said, "Daddy, Gage is my boyfriend." No, she always called him a friend. But he wasn't an idiot. And her being the same age as Katie when she thought she was ready for things that she definitely _wasn't_ ready for just scared him even more. He was probably over reacting again, but c'mon! How was he _supposed_ to act when he found out his teenage daughter followed some boy across the state and lied to him about it?

Carlos heard a beep and looked at his wrist band. "Logan's almost here. He says he's about five minutes away." He started trying to move Sophie without waking her up, she needed all the rest she could get. Of course, he managed to wake her up anyway, and even Jo groggily sat up. Apparently Carlos wasn't as quiet as he hoped to be.

They all heard the front door open. Carlos thought Logan would have been at least a few more moments, but figured the driver must have a little lead in his foot or something.

He nearly blanched when he saw who was walking down the hall.

He started walking forward quickly, "Kendall! What are you doing here?"

"Your wife stole my wife all night, the least you could is let me join you for breakfast," Kendall joked.

Carlos started stuttering, he didn't know what to say, "I-I-I-I—"

"Are you okay?" Kendall asked. "And is Jo awake yet?"

He looked to the open sitting room area and froze. His expression would have been comical if the situation wasn't so grim.

James met his gaze, not giving an inch.

The last thing Kendall expected that morning was seeing James Diamond in the flesh. He'd spent years avoiding his ex-friend and to just randomly run into him in the middle of Carlos' living room… it was something he was sure Carlos would _never_ allow to happen. Carlos knew better than this. Why was James here?

_Especially _when Kendall's kids were in the house?

He could feel his face turning red. Everyone was looking at him like he was about to explode, and he knew he was going to.

Everyone, including Kendall, turned when they heard the sound of the front door opening again.

Logan walked in, tossing a bag on the floor. He called out, "I'm here!" before he even bothered looking up. When he did, he stopped. His eyes widened.

Kendall felt his stomach clench like he was going to be sick.

He hated James for years, and even though he'd made the same crime against him as the other, it was Logan Mitchell, his once _best_ friend, whom Kendall hated the most.

Kendall had trusted Logan more than anyone else in his life. He loved him almost as much as he had loved Katie. Logan wasn't just _like_ a brother to him. Logan _was_ his brother. And he betrayed him. And it still hurt him to this day.

All the old feelings he'd tried to bury came rushing back. So, naturally, he lashed out.

Looking back and forth between Logan and James, he spat out his words. "I told you a long time ago I _never_ wanted to see you two again. Why are you _here! _Carlos," he looked to his long-time friend, "why are they here?" He looked at both Logan and James again. "I want _NOTHING _to do with _either_ of you!"

"And apparently you wanted nothing to do with me either…"

Kendall looked around for the new voice, and finally saw a familiar girl who was standing against the railing, staring at him accusingly.

"Allie?" he said, suddenly completely confused. She didn't make sense in his world at the moment. Of course, nothing was making sense right now, but her presence least of all.

He looked around, feeling extremely lost. He saw the looks on everyone's faces. Jo and Sophie looked worried. Carlos looked apologetic. James was staring at the girl with a look that was a cross between love and anger, and Logan was looking back and forth between the girl and Kendall. He appeared shocked, worried, and maybe even a little fearful.

Kendall slowly put all the pieces together.

And he finally understood.

"Alex…"

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Next: Part II – Chapter 7._

Video of Alex & Logan: Alex's Lullaby www . youtube . com / watch ? v = KKKz-JZzsVs (remove the spaces)

See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie.


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